Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 16)

[olismum23]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wttc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

stats to follow

Part 15 here

Olis I really hope the hormones are just taking a while to kick in and you will still get your bfp. Try and stay strong - I know its easier said than done. I remember you saying your thyroid is borderline - think it was you anyway. If so, please get it checked out. mine was borderline but now its gone hypo. it can really affect your chances of getting pg but its really easily fixed and once under control you should have no problems concieveing. still keeping everything crossed for you xxx

Oh olis I'm so sorry :( I really hope that todays tests are wrong. I would definately see your gp for bloods if things are no clearer over the next few days x

Hi loup, boo to af! When is your appointment?

Waves to collie and ciwi!

I'm suffering here...no broadband and only intermittent 3G coverage! Everythings...so...slow....and no idea when sky will be able to fix it, apparently the whole of south Wales is affected!

olis FX for those rogue tests being wrong

Hi melies how are things with you? Are you managing to "relax" this month? I hope so. I've been enjoying AF week and drinking like mad sort of nice to switch off from monitors, temping etc for a week (every cloud and all!) I'm waiting to hear about the appt but hopefully next week some time which would be good as it will be the week before O day so hopefully I can have some tests then and the week after O.

olis i hope you're ok, everything crossed for you and hope you are getting support in RL

Hello all...may I come in and have some cake and a with you? Had my first scan of first ever pregnancy this morning and alas MMC there was a sac measuring 5-6 weeks (I should've been 11-12 weeks) and nothing showing in the sac. I hadn't felt right for the last week so strangely wasn't too suprised but don't think it's all really sunk in yet! I'd not had any spotting, bleeding or cramps at all, still haven't! DH and I had thankfully taken the whole day off so we're just taking it easy. We've opted to let my body deal with it all naturally but have another scan booked for 6th June. Not quite sure what to expect in the next week or how quickly we can get back to TTC again.

Hi bluecrane so sorry you are here but we have lots of and and cakes so make yourself comfy and take it very easy, you will need lots of tlc for a while.

I had a natural mc only because it all happened before I could get in for the ERPC, was a mmc at 7 weeks (hb seen the day before)
Was very painful cramps for a good few days but bleeding for me was like a very heavy period with lots of clots and sorry if tmi I could tell when passed the sac.

It was over in about 5 days (confirmed by a scan when I was due to have the erpc) and got a bfn within 2 weeks, after that we started ttc again.

some helpful infomation here about trying again

www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm

bluecrane I'm so sorry for your loss. I think I remember you from the ttc buses?? Where you a dec bus bfp? I'm sorry it has ended so sadly for you. I found out about my mc at my 12 week scan, it's just horrible. You sound strong and like you are coping ok so far, but please take the time you need. Like you said it may not have sunk in yet. This thread is lovely. I mc in dec, and the support from the lovely ladies saved me from going crazy. Wishing you another bfp very soon with a super sticky bean x

blue also meant to say I mc naturally a week after my scan but I measured 9+3 so I think my body had just taken a while to realise. I wonder if you'll need a tablet to induce the mc seeing as though it's been a while for you. Like stich the bulk of by bleeding didn't last too long. 3-4 days heavy bleeding, and another 3-4 lighter. I tested again a month later and got my bfp. I waited to ttc after my first AF, but only bcs my DH was away, although with hindsight glad I had the time to grieve. But plenty of people on here have ttc straight away and got a bfp. I got a bfp after my first cycle.... I'm now on the Nov bus!!

loup I'm trying to chill, and even coming round to the idea of not having another baby to be honest...I think I'm beginning to think I might be okay with things either way...I had a lengthy chat with a friend who has decided she'll probably stop at just one and I realised I am happy with dd and as much as I want a sibling for her she's a very happy, secure child and we have a lovely family life so maybe it's that I'm just trying to protect myself but I'm trying to look at the positives. We will keep trying but I've decided no more opks and no more expensive vitamins once I've finished what I've got and what will be will be. Of course if I'm pg I'll be delighted!

bluecrane, welcome. I had a mmc that was discovered at 11 weeks and went for the medical management. I then waited for a bfn which I got 2 1/2 weeks later and we started trying again. It took 3 months for my body to recover enough for me to have a normal cycle though. Pull up a chair, get comfy and ask us anything. I hope that your recovery goes smoothly x

Any news olis?

No news melies hunny i think i have had a chemical tbh i checked the tests that were positive DH took pictures of them (how sad are we) they were defo positive but very very faint. today were defo negative.

I have decided to do nothing and be happy with DS he is an amazing child we are very lucky to have him. I am going to cherish him and enjoy my wonderful life as is. I wont be using contraception but wont be trying either. I have FRER coming next week i will test then again but i fear it will be the same out come i feel pg as well it is odd!

I am glad you feel more sure there is only so much of the ttc rollercoster you can take before you are losing touch with what you already have I find it has taken over and I have forgotten what i want out of life other than another baby. I of course will still lurk!

Take care all,
I will update when I take my frer but i wont hold my breath.

Sam xxxx

olis have pm'd you x

olis are you ok, do you have someone to talk to in RL...thinking of you

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Im ok blackkat well as good as i can be, I have my DH he is my bf anyhow :)

Bluecrane so sorry for your loss. My story is similar to yours and to Collie's.
I found out in Jan at my 12 week scan that I'd lost the baby, nothing can compare to that dawning realisation that there is no hope. Sending you (((hugs)))

This is a bewildering and confusing time, you will feel anger, guilt and shock and wonder why me? All of those feelings are natural and understandable and you need to allow yourself to feel them and go with them. Remember you've both lost your much wanted and much hoped for baby, hug each other lots.

When you've chosen your route to deal with the m/c, then give yourself time. Don't feel pressured to going back to work, going to see people. Eat well, sleep lots, get some fresh air.

In my experience, people can often say the wrong thing even though they mean well. I also realised that DH dealt with this situation in a different way than I could, and I found that tough (I think most of us here would share this sentiment). I found this website had brilliant advice not just for me, but for my DH, best friends, family and some colleagues.
www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/

Mumsnet and this thread in particular really helped me (where would I be without Collie, Cep and Mouse). I felt lonely in RL because none of my RL friends had experienced this and all seemed to have sailed through pregnancy. I began to realise that only those women who have experienced such a loss can understand and support you. So please use this space to share, rant, question; we do understand and care and want you to come through this stronger, wiser and with the courage to TTC again.

My story: It took me two weeks to m/c naturally, and there wasn't a great deal of pain, but more blood than I could've imagined. I got AF 28 days after the sac came away. We didn't try that month bcs I knew it was too close and too raw, and we had a cremation service to deal with too. I took 3 weeks off work, was prescribed iron, ate well, started multi-vits and lost some weight (the blood loss helped). I had a scan 2 weeks after the loss and despite my fears all was clear. I'm now 12 and a half weeks pregnant, though still absolutely terrified, though doing my best to control it. [rueful smile]

Hope you get some sleep tonight, will be thinking of you and DH.

olis thanks for replying, was worried and upset for you, hugs to you both xxx

Thanks blackkat and others. all starting to sink in here and pretty tough tbh. DH struggling to get to grips with it and the reality that I was actually pregnant and that if I did a test today it would still show pregnant. He's cross that MMC isn't well explained and he hates the 'missed' bit as he feels it suggests that I wasn't pg. Think we're both still processing. It's dawning on me that I've got a pretty awful time coming up whether I chose to keep it natural or go for erpc and I'm struggling to get my head around that. Just not what I'd been expecting from today!

blue I'm so sorry. It is very hard. It will take a few days for it to sink in properly I am sure. I know I spent a day or two in denial, trying to convince myself they were wrong. It's just as you say, not at all what you expected from the day, it knocks you for six. Please please take the time you need to grieve and recover. I foolishly went into work 2 days after my scan and didn't even last the morning. And please don't be hard on / blame yourself. Like blackkat said, you will go through many emotions. Grief, denial, anger, frustration, self blame. I also put a lot of pressure on myself to be 'over it' quickly, bcs I felt people in real life expected that. But as blackkat said, most people who haven't been through it just won't understand. But it doesn't mean they are right. Getting over your loss will take time. For now, the best advice I could give would be for you and your dh to be kind to yourselfs. Both of you take time off, be togther. Try to do something that will take your mind of it... We went to the cinema a lot, just for a distraction. Talk to each other about how you feel. Your dh's grief will be different to yours, and he may feel he has to protect you, you may feel he doesn't understand. Talk to each other about your feelings and let it out. It really is good and ok to cry.

I'm so so sorry for your loss. It's a sad and horrid thing to have to go through. But I promise, as much as the grief is so overwhelming now, it does get easier eventually I promise. Have you flound the mc threads here I found them v supportive. But we're also here to support you

I hate the term miscarriage too, like you did something wrong!!!

collie thanks for your reply. I have also posted on the MC threads and may stick there for a little while before we are in a position to TTC again. DH managed to get the day off work today so we are both at home. I do feel slightly in denial as there is still no physical evidence of anything being wrong...still no bleeding or cramps which is frustrating as I would just like to get it all over with. We have an afternoon planned with good friends tomorrow who were the first to know we were expecting and themselves MC'd at 20 weeks with their DC2 so are very understanding of the situation. I'm taking it easy of the sofa and DH is providing endless cups of tea and biscuits and cleaning the flat which is nice. Still trying to get hold of work but think I will tell them 'worst case' and say I won't be in for the next 2 weeks so that they sort out cover for my project properly.

Wishing you all the very best for TTC and future pregnancies and hopefully I'll be able to come and join you all properly once we're in a position to TTC.

Hello

blue I can totally relate to how you are feeling, just under 4 months ago that was me...I was torn between not wanting to let go of my baby to wanting him or her out so I could move forward. I went for medical management because I couldn't bear not knowing when it would start, I felt like I needed to have some control over it. But taking those tablets was so so hard, I felt like I was letting the baby down, even though there was nothing anyone could do to save it. I'm glad your dh is being supportive, and that you've found help on the mc board, finding mn has been an absolute godsend for me.

As far as work goes don't rush back, I had 2 weeks off and I really needed that time. We will welcome you back whenever you are ready x

olis if you're lurking I hope you're ok x

Cep we haven't heard from you for a while, how are things? Did ds enjoy ppw?

Waves to everyone x

Nothing new here...still chilling! (although I did get mightily wound up at the sight of a heavily pg smoker earlier. Judgemental, me? No!

blue im sorry your going through this, for that matter i am sorry anybody has too :(

melies I would be the same a the smoker!!

Af turned up this afternoon bang on 14dpo! but this is a very long cycle for me so maybe the reason it did not stick was because i ov'ed late?

Just to add on the plus side i am now enjoying a baileys with my feet up! :)

Enjoy your drink olis, 14day LP is good but boo to AF showing up.

I thought I'd quickly update after my visit to the consultant. He is going to do some tests but said he was not concerned.... Mid cycle spotting is common apparently, light AF is fine as long as you have a regular-ish AF every month and having a O day of 20 - 23 he also thought was fine. So I suppose a bit more relaxed and Fx it happens eventually! Hope that offers some reassurance to others....

blue I think we were on the 2ww thread in the past, sorry for your loss. Hope you find this thread as supportive as I have x

Enjoy your drink olis, 14day LP is good but boo to AF showing up.

I thought I'd quickly update after my visit to the consultant. He is going to do some tests but said he was not concerned.... Mid cycle spotting is common apparently, light AF is fine as long as you have a regular-ish AF every month and having a O day of 20 - 23 he also thought was fine. So I suppose a bit more relaxed and Fx it happens eventually! Hope that offers some reassurance to others....

blue I think we were on the 2ww thread in the past, sorry for your loss. Hope you find this thread as supportive as I have x

Hi, I'd like to pop in and have a cuppa if that's okay (actually sod that make it something stronger!!). I recently suffered a loss at 7 weeks (3 weeks ago but still have BFP arghghgh) but, as soon as my body lets me would like to TTC again. Time isn't on my side (am 39) hence I can't really wait unless absolutely necessary. Am also still spotting very very lightly 3 weeks after passing the sac so don't think we will be able to SWI that soon although i'd really like to feel close (in that way!) to DP again!

I hope you are all well - i've found so much support on MN and I guess this thread is the best place for me just now :-)

Previously I ovulated on CD17 so I wonder if, post m/c that will change?

Is anybody else taking special conception multivits or just folic acid/vitamin D? I'm undecided about multivits if my diet is healthy?

I can't believe how obsessed (?!) i've become about conception/fertility signs etc after my m/c, it really does throw your whole world into a spin doesn't it.

Sorry for ramblings, i'd just popped in to say Hi and that am looking forward to going through this (positive!! fingers crossed for us all) journey together :)

Welcome pie sorry for your loss, there's lots of support and friendly advice here. I hope your BFP goes soon and the spotting stops, did you have a scan to check all was ok? Enjoy your wine and Fx you can get down to ttc soon x