Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 16)

[olismum23]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wttc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

stats to follow

Part 15 here

Wow congratulations marathon and IQ I am so happy for you although I can understand trepidation. I am sure someone else has said this already (been totally rubbish at keeping up over the weekend) but we will all be here for you so take each day as it comes and let us know how you are doing

totally boring point in my cycle at the moment - CD6 and feels like last day of AF...ho hum. I didn't ovulate until CD27 last time so feels like I am in for a loooooong wait although secretly optimistic that cycle will be shorter this time due to agnus castus....we'll see.

Ooh ooh...I'm busy for a few days and don't check on and now we have 2 BFPs SO happy for you marathon and IQ !!! Yeah!!

Not much to report here...seem to have loads of EWCM but since I'm in the WTF cycle I clearly haven't a clue what's going on, when I might ovulate or when AF might be due! Now 4.5 weeks since erpc and got a bfn a week ago?!? We've DTD a few times without protection and just taking things easy and seeing what happens...part of me would be v happy to conceive before my first AF but also think that having AF might help in terms of my not stressing about dates etc so will just have to see what happens!

Hope there's plenty of SWI going on for the rest of you

Hello again, good to hear from you Blue and Poppy. Having some AF cramps so convinced the game's up. I suppose I shouldn't have tested so early, I was going to do what IQ planned to do, wait until a week after AF was due before POAS to avoid disappointment, but I'm too bloody impatient. This whole thing is so worrying. I keep looking at the mc stats and convincing myself it'll happen again. Tell me to stop, pleeeease!

Blue the WTF cycle is the worst but glad you're going for it. Practice makes perfect

Poppy I heard Agnus Castus is good for hormone regulation. It was recommended to me because I get these strange little red spots that are something to do with hormones. The docs are always putting on Dianette to control it but would prefer to use something natural. Is it any good?

IQ where are you? How's the mentalling?

marathon Crampy feelings can be perfectly normal - had lots with ds2, and some with ds3 (as I lost him to the virus I had, I can't imagine the cramping was a sign of anything bad). You're not bleeding, right?

No bleeding Manda but really stressing, it feels heavy like AF, I don't remember this with dd.

Evening ladies - feeling very tired so thinking of heading up to bed in a minute - thought I'd come on before bedtime. Thank you all for your congratulations - just hoping that me and marathon can keep these little beans growing!!!

summer totally agree on the naming thing. I adore my gramps and desperately want to have a baby before he passes so that he can give them a name. Additionally it's wonderful that you have some great friends around you......they sound really fab!!!

pie I'm wrapping myself up in your PMA and hoping that it will all be ok. Gave all my ic to hubby as per our holiday agreement but was left 2 on my bed side table this morning when he went out to work (hubby seems to be quite organised with all this)!!!

whatsoever keeping my fingers crossed for that later OV so you can take advantage of your hubby SWI!!

marathon to be honest I didn't think there would be anything to tell....was sure I hadn't ovulated (didn't get my usual abdominal pinch) and assumed I was just waiting for my AF to arrive - when it didnt I got to thinking.....

poppy the days will go by eventually and you will be SWI soon enough!!

blue good idea on taking it easy......best way forward - keeping my fingers crossed for you when the time comes. Agree with marathon - practise makes perfect.

Feeling really odd - went to asda today and saw lots of pg women and for once wasn't secretly giving them the evil eye.....!!!

Marathon - Manda is totally right - cramping is perfectly normal as long as it isn't serious pain or coupled with bleeding. this is me telling you to STEP AWAY FROM THE CHART and sit down on the bench with me in the padded room.....this place is quiet, peaceful and full of good thoughts.

Not actually metalling much - hubby and I have had a talk and a cuddle and we have agreed that if no AF by next week he will pay for me to have some private blood tests to put my mind at rest that everything is progressing well, now all I have to do is manage to get through a week!!!! Arrgghhh !!!

evening ladies - marathon I am taking the agnus castus as I have PCOS and it was recommended to me to sort out my wayward hormones. I have heard mixed things about it (its kind of like marmite I think - love it or hate it) but I was particularly hoping it would help to bring forward ovulation. Last cycle it was CD27 and previously it had been CD36 so I guess something happened. A friend of mine (not TTC) takes it for PMS and swears by it. I haven't heard about its benefits re skin but I really wouldn't be surprised seems to be a bit of a wonder-herb (I have heard it called "nature's clomid" so must be powerful stuff...). Really not sure about taking it whilst pregnant though, I would be very careful with that and speak to an expert about it if you want to try it.

I have been told that it takes up to 3 months to really have its full effect so hoping things will get better each time.

IQ sounds like an excellent plan to have some private tests to reassure you - was thinking that once we manage it again I will probably do similar.

Evening all

Wow how quickly things move on. So thrilled for you marathon and IQ, lets hope the rest of us follow suit soon. Can understand the worry, mc is a terible thing to experience. I do wonder if I really want to ttc incase we mc again.

Hope everyone is well and keeping up with dtt.

I finally got some antibiotics Friday afternoon and today I am feeling much better. So really hope this is all now sorted.

Feeling a bit flat today. Hopefully more upbeat tomorrow.

Crossing my fingers for you marathon that the cramping sods off soon so you can relax a bit

IQ private blood tests sound worth it for a bit of peace of mind

eve glad to hear you're starting to feel better

I had some pain in my left side this morning which could possibly be ovulation pian (today is CD17 which fits with the one month I actually did the POAS ovulation tests properly) so will be jumping on seducing DH again tonight.

Went to my book group last night and the third (out of only four people in the book group!) of us had a MC two weeks ago. That's three of us in two months. We must be the unluckiest book group in the UK. Only consolation was we could commiserate and drink together.

Morning all...enjoying a nice

eve really hope the antibiotics kick in quickly and sort everything out, must be so tough that everything has dragged out so long

whatso have fun tonight

marathon how are you feeling? I know I was concerned enough with every twinge and change with my body last time and know I'll be super sensitive to it all as/when/if I get there again so I think it's normal to be concerned but try and relax if you can and take some time out in IQs padded sanctuary!

IQ are the holiday plans now on since you were a good girl not testing?! Hope this week doesn't drag too much for you! Am SO impressed you were able to wait and not test!

Re. Grandparents names we're hoping that if we have a DS then we can use a shortened version of my Grandad's name. Grandad is 96 so hoping he might still be around to know that's what we've done too but obviously need another bfp first and that was to be a DD then that might be pushing it though he is super spritely for that age!

DH and I had a long chat last night - turns out he didn't think we were TTC again yet...not quite sure how we'd missed that conversation...he thought I still wanted to wait for AF first, I thought we'd agreed we'd not go go go but take it easy and still SWI but without the 'must do it every other day' pressure. But, think we're back on the same page again now which is good. I'd still like AF to come quickly though (or a BFP ) as would just like to know where we're at...damn this WTF cycle and the not having a clue

Afternoon all,

Been having a full on mentalling session this monring....have had cramps and twinges on and off all morning.....currently waiting for Dr's to re-open after lunch so can ring and get them to sort me out an appointment at the epu - as it's only done here by referal.

Called round about blood tests - found somewhere (finally) but been told that the test they run for pregnancy is £58 (not great but not bad) but then to have the consultant look through and discuss them with you is a further £120. The receptionist isn't even sure if this is the right test for me and so now i'm not sure if im any further forward. additionally i could wait a few weeks (dreadful thought) and i could go to a lovely clinic near here who do viability scans from 6 weeks total cost £120, but then this could be done at the epu for free -NOW I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR THE BEST!!!!

I have been assured by the Dr at the EPU that there is no problem with me having gotten pregnant without having an AF first.....was initially a concern for us....but that feels a bit better. Just wish i didnt have these cramps ect....feel so now and unsure. I felt really positive yesterday but now just feel worried. Marathon save me from myself!!!!

IQ might I be cheeky and ask a few questions? If you're not in a place where you feel you can answer at the mo that's totally fine. Just DH and I having a few convo's about where we're at in terms of TTC following the MMC and I'm getting in a pickle about it all Basically I wondered how long it is now since your MC and/or ERPC (so sorry can't remember what happened with you) and how soon/how long ago you got a BFN? Did you work out your AF due date to be 28 days from MC or from your BFN? And final cheeky question is whether you were actively TTC or just DTD when/if you fancied it and just took it easy?

We're almost 5 weeks since ERPC and got a bfn a week ago...DH keen to actively pursue TTC and SWI as much as possible at the mo, I'm keen to take things easy, SWI when we feel like it and see what happens. Not sure when to expect AF to appear or when I would think about testing if she doesn't. All a bit [confusing]

Having said all of that I really hope you get some clarity soon and the long, painful waiting isn't too tough!!

Blue my MC started first week of June which would have put me at 4/5 weeks pg - incidentally has been 5 weeks (thursday) since MC bleeding started. As we were abroad and had insurance I had a full suite of tests done (internal exam, scan and full blood work). From my blood and the internal the Dr there said that everything looked perfect but obviously there was something wrong with the feotus, so things didnt progress according to plan. Looking at my levels they were happy for me to return to the hotel on 48 hours rest and 'let nature take its course'. I had a blood test done the day of the MC and the HcG level was 5.5 and a follow up test 4 days later showed it as 1.53 which is the normal level in an unpg woman (or so the dr says). Therefore didnt bother with doing a negative test result as had blood test to say that everything was clear, which is more reliable than pg tests.

As a result we thought "lets see how it goes", I kept my cycle chart going so that i could record my next AF and see how my cycle had been affected by the MC. I was fully expecting AF on the 9th. I didn't expect to ovulate the first month after, didnt think my body would be anywhere near ready to go again and to be honest didnt get any of my 'normal' OV signals except the CM. This is utterly out of the blue for me and i'm still waiting for this to go wrong to be honest.

IQ thank you so so much for taking the time to respond, v useful to hear your experience. I do so hope this all goes well for you this time and that you can get through the next few weeks ok and past the time when it all went wrong last time without too much worry. It sounds as though the docs on holiday were really helpful and gave you the info needed to be able to start moving forward. What a minefield this whole process is! I seem to have lots of CM at the moment so hoping there may be some chance of ovulation though DH and I will hardly see each other this week due to his shifts so will just have to wait and see!

Evening all - hope your all well and things are good with you all.

blue - no worries - i suppose it's why were all here on the forum...to help each other, support each other and give each other the encouragement to keep going!!!! The holiday to cape verde has been postponed as DH is worried about flying with 'baby on board' but he is taking me to a lovely cottage when he comes home so at least I still have that to look forward to!!

eve glad to see your feeling a bit better and hope the antibiotics help sort things out.

Things have been a lot better the second half of the day - spoke to the doctor, got a nice one this time who was really sympathetic. The doctor assured me that if my body wasn't ready I wouldnt have become pg again and said the cramping was normal. Just to see how it goes and feel free to call if I'm worried about anything!! I rang back to the clinic to book the blood test and realised that it was actually £108 (50 for half hour consultation and 58 for the blood test) DH wasn't very impressed as its a lot of money just for a blood test - luckily he has gone one better for me and has booked a viability scan for next Friday. Thank god for this man.......he is sooooo good to me!!!!

So hopefully by next Friday I will be able to relax a little bit - just want all these twinges and niggles to settle down so I can feel a bit better. Will keep you posted on how it all goes!!!

Take care all. Xxx

ladies just jumping on to say hi and hope you are all ok, have been awol for a bit as i have had a couple of days, i wont hijack the thread but a friend of mine is seriously ill and i am worried sick about her (i started a thread in General health about it - about being scared of a good friend having cancer). Anyway i dont know whether she is going to be ok or not so have been an emotional wreck.

However on a positive note i have had a day with DS today as he was poorly yesterday so we kept him off nursery today, i have had so much quality time with him it has been lovely. So the SW diet has gone by the wayside and me and DH managed to SWI last night with some conceive plus it was only CD8 but we are having our mammoth week!

sorry for not name checking as i know you are all going through your own rollercoasters but will try and catch up properly tomorrow whilst at work

IQ - Glad you got a nice sympathetic doctor. It really does make all the difference. In the Lesley Regan book about miscarriage (I think it's also in the Zita West book too) she talks about the 'power of love' being an important part of preventing a loss and says that lots of support, love and reassurance can really help.

Which blood tests are you getting done? The cottage sounds lovely and a holiday at a perfect time! Please try not to worry although I know I would be doing exactly the same thing! Thinking of you xx

Blue - I didn't get a BFN until nearly 6 weeks after my 'natural' m/c as I had some 'retained tissue' so was still bleeding/spotting. I was given anti-biotics and it eventually stopped. I ovulated about a week later (had EWCM, + OPKs and am charting) then (sadly!) got AF about 11 days after that. My first AF was definitely different to normal as I had 2 days of spotting then full on with clots (sorry if TMI!). My hcg levels 4 weeks after the m/c were 32, so obviously taking a while to come down. It was such a long 8 weeks :( Are you charting? I've been doing it for 3 cycles now and it's been really insightful as to what's going on.

eve - I also had anti-biotics too and they really helped as I had 'retained tissue'. I felt better that they would be getting rid of any nasties that might be lurking. Hope you get better soon xx

whats - I can't believe 3 of you from book club have had a m/c!! It's a lot more common than i'd ever thought TBH. I actually (sadly) bumped into a colleage at the EPU who was having a m/c too, and know of at least 5 others IRL who have gone through it too. It totally sucks :( Happy SWI !!

marathon - How are you feeling today? Hope all is well and you're not mentalling too much! You mentioned spotting earlier - I had some unusual spotting mid cycle and post AF before. I started taking conception vits and they stopped? I read that B6 is good for hormones and stuff so it might have been that.

Hi to poppy, summer, manda and anybody else i've missed!!

I would like some advice if that's okay? My best friend had a baby the day before my m/c but I haven't told her yet. I didn't want to put any kind of downer on her nice new baby happiness with my sad news. Bubs is now 8 weeks and I'm wondering if I should tell her? She knows we are trying and that i've had CD21 tests so always asks 'how's IT going' when we meet. I think she would be upset if she knew that i'd been so unhappy and not shared it with her - what do you think? I've hardly told anyone in RL though.

summer crossed posts - sorry to hear about your friend. You can offload here - it's good to talk about other things rather than just TTC and m/c (IYSWIM) so you're not hi-jacking. I'll go and check out your post but my thoughts are with you xx

Go with the mammoth SWI week! Have you heard of the sperm meets egg plan? Might try that when it gets near ov time for us (DP is off sick though so needs to get well soon!!)

Hi pie I haven't tried charting in the true sense ie no temping or ov tests but just been keeping an eye and record of CM, SWI etc. My cycles pre MC were a bit odd getting longer by a few days each cycle (ranging from 30-37 days) and I don't think I was oving until CD25 so will just have to wait and see. I def seem to have had a lot of CM for the last week but not sure that really means very much in the WTF cycle! Also I was getting a pain when I ov'd which I've not had yet though that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Ho hum...the waiting continues...

summer so sorry to hear about your friend.

Right...time for sleep I think...zzzz...night all!

Summer so sorry to hear about your friend

Pie easier said than done but I definitely think tell her. If I was your friend I'd want to know, even if I was busy with a new baby and couldn't support you as much as I might otherwise

thank you all for your kind words, it is still early days and she is still recovering in hospital so we dont know when the chemo will start. but yes i shall be there for her as she always has been for me

pie i agree with whatso that was my gut instinct too, i really think you should tell her, she will be if she found out in a years time or something that you never told her. i am sure she would understand the 8 week gap as it was still raw. you just need to say to her that in your sadness you were still so happy for her and wanted to leave it a while to tell her, for the reasons you have told us.

right gotta get some work done now, need to get off MN as my boss is lurking about (not 'lurking' in the MN sense - i hope he never sees any of my posts on SWI and EWCM!! )

have a good day everyone

Hi all, just waiting for zumba to start so thought I'd send a quickie.

summer how awful for you and your friend. My Dad has late stage cancer, he was diagnosed last year, had a big op and has been having chemo ever since. I bet you feel shocked, numb and out of control. It was awful at first but we live with it now and my Dad copes so well. He's been having CBT to stay positive and swears by it, maybe something for your friend to think about when she's up to it? Until then I suppose you just have to be there without treating her like an invalid, my Dad hates lots of sympathy so we're as horrible as we usual

pie I agree with whatso too, you should definitely tell her. I'm very private and ended up telling two of my pg friends because I was bleeding badly and it was hard to hide. I'm so glad I did, they were wonderful and I felt so much better for getting it out in the open.

Anyway, we're about to start so will say more later...

right i am on positive thoughts about my friend. she is coming out of hospital tomorrow which is but the only prob is that she is in Newcastle and i am in Manchester i have already sent her books but might trawl amazon for some more. can anyone suggest anything uplifting i can do for her from a distance? she loves period drama's, crafty stuff, sleb twaddle that kind of thing.

on the TTC front we SWI AGAIN last night! I am on CD10 today and DH is out on the lash tonight however we are doing it tomorrow and Friday and then sleeping relaxing all weekend!

Hi ladies, well I'm suitably exhausted now, time for White no sugar everyone?

Summer glad you're PMAing, hope your friend is feeling better. When you say "crafty" do you mean naughty crafty or arty crafty?

Has she read Wolf Hall? I haven't read it but my Mum and DH both enjoyed it and it's based around the Tudors (so period drama). Not sure it's uplifting though.

Have fun with the SWI

Pie going back to your post, I have always had spotting a few days before AF started but during my WTF cycle I had it randomly for the whole cycle. It was so frustrating, on holiday, just when I was about to slip into my bikini and go for a swim... bam!

IQ great news on the scan, how many weeks will you be then? We're debating whether to have one this time. Had one with dd and it was really reassuring. Had one with the mmc too and saw the heartbeat so don't think I'll be reassured next time around. Might have one at 8-9 weeks if we get that far. We have a private scan clinic next door so the temptation is ALWAYS there!

When does your DH go away? It's so great that you're pg after all your worrying that you'd have to wait until Christmas.

Blue hope you get some SWI time between the shifts.

I'm ok here, cramping has stopped, had a tiny weeny bit of queasiness yesterday morning for 10 mins but nothing since. Not feeling very pg and trying to stay in denial. buries head back in sand

waves to Whatso and Poppy

Haven't heard from Manda for a few days, we need her worldly wisdom! Hope MissG is having a nice hol.

IQ i agree that the scan is v good news, i am going to look into that if when i get to that stage. i live in the NW and am not sure if they are hot on early scanning (my local Mat Hosp has just merged with another one and they are currently chocker - my scan with DS was 10 weeks but my recent one was going to be 14 weeks) i may look into that now, will prob have to go private too. but well done on your DH for taking action on the scan.

marathon have you done any more tests? i know you were on WTF the other day and in my craziness havent been able to catch up properly.

pie what is this 'sperm meets egg plan' you speak of? sounds logical but in the MN world something tells me it is v technical and i want to know MORE!

I have just sent my friend the Ab Fab complete box set from amazon (only £18 squid). Might get one for myself too! She was complaining about daytime TV (does she not KNOW about Homes under the Hammer - got me through my mat leave!) and we both love AbFab and have quoted it on many occasions over the last 20 years!

waves to whatso blue eve poppy manda and anyone else i have missed