Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 16)

[olismum23]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wttc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

stats to follow

Part 15 here

manda i am loving your 'open minded' DD, but bless her for being upset by your loss, looking back i would have been devastated if it had happened to my mum. and yes i was born in '73 - dont know why but i have some sort of pride in being born in the glam/prog rock era!!

we had DS's 2nd birthday party today, it was madness but fun, me and DH are in bed now as we are shattered (given that i am MNing we are clearly not shagging! as too tired..)

Fathers day tomorrow - i have just told DH that i am spoiling him rotten as he was such a support to me when i had my MC, and DS loves him to bits too

I held a 5mo baby today and it was lovely - it got me super broody so we are gearing up for the shagfest that is next week (14 DPO on wednesday!) think we are going to start on Tuesday night (tho DH wants to start tomorrow - i cant cope with a week of it!! )

Can I join?

We mc 2 weeks a go had MMMC 10th June. So just waiting for things to get back to normal.

Don't know how long it will take, I was so lucky to come off the pill and get Pg it was such a shock, and it wasn't til we lost the baby that I realised how badly I wanted another one.

We have DS who is nearly 5.

Also have someone in the family who is expecting at excatley the same date as we were :-(

Hello all and welcome Eve! So sorry to hear of your loss. It's really devastating at first and you're desperate to have your baby back but it does get easier. I have a group of friends I meet with weekly, nearly all are expecting and I find it really hard when they're discussing their pregnancies, so I can relate to your point about the family member.

Blue your fella sounds like a gem. Patiently waiting whilst you try things on?? I bloody wish! Hope it's made you feel better? How's your hand? Oh and Happy Birthday for tomorrow!

Manda, you have a very open-minded DD, the thought of my parents at it still sends a shiver down my spine!

MissG - how are you doing? Will it be 6 weeks post-erpc tomorrow? They told me to see my GP if I got to 6 weeks without an AF. Any symptoms either way? Have you resisted the urge to POAS???

Well, we've had a nice weekend (I didn't poison anyone, phew) but am a bit gutted as DH is now going away with work next week. Only for two nights but on CD14 & 15! I'm out on CD16 so the smep is now out of the window. I know I should be more chilled but I don't want to miss any opportunities!

welcome eve i have a similar situation, one of my best friends is due two weeks before i would have been and she is looking blooming now, i thought i was ok with it all but i get a little when i see her, also one of my other friends is due the end of november and the FB statuses have started about getting the house ready for another little one - i really thought i was ok but am desperate for another one now..... maybe i am just having a blip

marathonmama - i am wondering if you can sneak in a cheeky one before you go out on CD16

Me and DS are spoiling DH rotten today, he is loving it

Afternoon all, I had such a lovely day with DH yesterday - yummy lunch including lots of seafood tapas (making the most of it whilst I can!!) and a good shopping trip too! We were both shattered when we got back but it was fun, and a nice way to 'end' my time off work and ready to go back tomorrow.

Welcome eve sorry you have also had to go through this horrible experience.

marathon glad you've had a good weekend and the baking went well...are you sure of your Ov date? I think otherwise just get as much SWI in when DH is around, and a sneaky one before you go out on CD16 is always an option as summer said

missG I hope you're doing ok? Any signs of AF, are you going to POAS again tomorrow? Hope you get some answers soon!

summer everyone has said to me that 'blips' are v common as we will all have good days and less good days...it's just a tough time and TTC/early weeks of next pregnancy will also be tough no doubt! But glad you're having a nice day with DH and DS!

Hi all, think this is the thread for me!!!!

Had an MC at 5 weeks and now trying to pull myself together. Not doing too badly now as it's been about 10 days and after a few 'wobbly' moments I think I'm getting there.

I had an appointment at the doctor on Friday and trying to explain to her what had happened (we were away in spain at the time) just pushed me over the edge....I had a few questions but really after all the stress of explaining I pretty much broke down in tears and ran out.

Does anyone know when it's ok to start trying again - there is so much conflicting information. My hubby is only around this month and next month then he's away for 4 months......I don't want to have to wait all that time to try again but not really sure what my options are!!!!

Any ideas????

Xxxxx

Hi Insomia, welcome to the thread, sorry for your loss. My consultant told me that the current advice is to wait until after your first AF before TTC again. He said the only reason for that is so that you can recover emotionally and also so that they have an accurate date for the next pregnancy. He said that there's no reason not to try immediately though, as long as you've stopped bleeding and feel ready. Apparently lots of people don't ovulate in the first cycle so don't get your hopes up too much. The Q&As on this website are really helpful www.pregnancyloss.info

Blue I'm not sure when I'll ov as everything's a bit up in the air but during a "normal" cycle I would guess it's on about CD14. Unfortunately Summer DH and I will be ships that pass in the night on Friday, I may see him very briefly at Charing Cross station but I'm not sure how our fellow commuters will feel if we start SWI on the concourse I suppose we could do a Boris Becker...

Hi Insomnia so sorry for your loss, I had a similar situation to you, I mc at 6 ish weeks whist we were on holiday (actually traveling back from) our holiday in Greece. Just horrific. did feel good to be at home though when we finally got back.

The doctor I saw at the EPU said that there was no reason to wait to TTC for us when the bleeding had stopped. By then I had a negative pregnancy test so they were confident that my body had sorted itself out. I have to say I was extremely relieved as my cycles are extremely long and unpredictable due to PCOS and the prospect of having to wait an undetermined length of time until AF arrived again wasn't great. So here I am, we'll see what this cycle holds

Hi Marathon thanks for the link....there was lots of great stuff on there....just wish that there was one set of advise!!!! Places that I've looked have said to wait between no time and 6 months.....it would be fine if hubby wasn't leaving the country in august!!!!

Maybe I should take the month to really enjoy myself - massages, hot baths, wine and seafood......things I wont be able to have after I get a BFP.....will be gutted if I have to wait until December to try again though!!!!

After being on the pill for 8 years I came off it and pretty much went right back to normal. It's all like clock work so not really sure whether that will be the case post MC (probably not) but i have to start somewhere I suppose.

Xxxx

hi poppyjen thanks for the advise!!!

I know what you mean about getting home.....it happened on the journey there so literally got to the hotel - dumped the bags and went to the doctors who then sent us straight to the hospital.....I can't say I enjoyed the holiday that much to be honest - really just wanted to go home!!!!

Got some cheap tests so going to do one and see how I get on. Whilst away they did blood tests and it was clear from the tests that the pregnancy hormones had pretty much cleared from my system. The Dr there said everything else looked perfect, which was def a relief!!!

Spent so long trying to do the right thing - just want to do whats best but not all that sure what the best thing is!!!

Xxxx

Evening all, and hi newbies Eve and Insomnia*. Sorry for your losses. Nice to see you on the thread though, moving forward and thinking about TTC again.

Blue, sounds like you had a great birthday day out, glad you got pampered and spoiled rotten, you deserve it. What did you bake btw? I'll have one of whatever it is with my [tea] tomorrow. And hope your first day back goes well.

Manda I am well jealous of your mature DD! Mine seems to think that the 1 night a week she's at her Dad's (Friday) should be enough! With the number of places and clubs she needs running to each week, and having my Dad here for dinner every night (and dropping in for random cups of tea), we need to be inventive (and careful) when seeking opportunities to TTC - although, Marathon, I think I too would draw the line at a public showing! That made me laugh!

Still no AF here . 5 weeks post-EPPC. Will POAS tomorrow, see what it ways, suspect it will be a BFN again though.

HI all & welcome Eve & Insomnia - although I'm very sorry that we 'meet' under these circumstances.

I've been a bit up and down this week. I went to the doctor on Thursday about still bleeding (it's been 3 weeks now and still no sign of it going...) and some blood test results I got back that alarmed me, but not the gP, so all fine.

She was lovely and said that we should start trying asap - as soon as this flippin' bleeding stops. She said that the only reason to wait until after AF was to date the baby and that was a selfish doctor reason. She warned that I could go through loads of pregnancy tests though!

I find it really funny that when I talk to people about the miscarriage, I sound really calm and matter of fact - as if I'm talking about the weather. Some nights I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's over - whatever over is.

On the up side, I went for a run today. It was amazing how slow I was and how bone tired i was afterwards, but I feel better for it - mentally anyway. Must admit that I felt a bit dizzy and the bleeding was heavier for a while afterwards....

I'm jealous of all the talk of TTC - hopefully I'll be joining you all soon!

So knackered! We were at a wedding yesterday and the whole thing's been exhausting. Friend who had just found out she was pregnant was sent for an early scan on Friday and also had a MMC. Horrible co-incidence. Also spoke to another friend at the wedding who had 3 MCs but now has a 3 month old baby.

First time having a few drinks since pre-pregnancy so got horribly drunk. To be honest it didn't do me any good and I found the experience quite miserable, which was a shame. However another friend who has a lot of issues got paralytic so sorting her out was at the very least a distraction and stopped me having a total drunken wallow. The fact my friend managed to make it despite her awful news on Friday was humbling.

Hopefully the wedding next weekend will go better.

Chuckling at the teenage reactions to DTD!

Morning all

Thank you for the welcome, I will try to keep up.

Insomnia - hope you are ok, can't imagine how difficult it must of been for you to go through MC away from home. Hope you are taking good care fo yourself.

Whatsoever - glad you went to the wedding, it is hard to get back out there, I am sure those around you were supportive. Enjoy the wedding next weekend. we have 3 to go to this year - I was meant to be blooming for them :-( hay ho have to get back to the diet instead now.

WMW - hope you get back to TTC soon, It is confusing all the information. We have another scan on Tuesday next week. Hoping that we get the green light to get back to it.

Hello to everyone else - really hope that we see some BFP

Morning! Catching up on the weekend posts - hello to the new posters and sorry that you have had to go through this...hope you can all get back TTC as soon as possible

Aaaggghhh I'm an idiot...POAS this morning , AF not due until Sunday...BFN naturally when will I learn

Thank you bluecrane it is pretty tough, I have spent the last 3 months in this weird haze where I feel completely fine about it then one little thing sets me off. I was overjoyed when my November friend told me a couple of weeks ago ? genuinely thrilled but I guess I need to hide her FB status for a little while.

Maybe it is because we are completely on the TTC bandwagon now. On that note I felt a twinge of OV yesterday (anyone else get that pain in the left or right side? I always know the exact moment of OV which is weird) which was a good 4 days early so I grabbed DH at 10pm last night and informed him of his immediate mission ? of which he gladly obliged

So we are all guns blazing now! Prob tonight and tomorrow night should do the trick. Thankfully he is understanding otherwise he will think he is just a conception machine!

insomnia I echo marathon advice ? my GP said the same thing, he also said that the advice to wait 6 months which is bandied about is only to make sure you are emotionally ready. I would just get your next AF out the way and start from there. And I completely understand about your GP appt, you are bound to get upset talking about it. I still cant bring myself to think about how mine panned out (just the bleeding and pain ? it was awful).

marathonmama does Charing Cross not have toilets? Go on ? you know you want to!!

Does anyone else just blurt out about their MC? I met a colleague in the swimming pool yesterday, she is on Mat leave and so didn?t know about my MC. She asked if we were going to have another baby to which I just started rambling on about losing a baby in March. I felt very when I realised that she didn?t need to hear that - she was lovely and sympathised but I felt like a right numpty!

whingey it is a right pain waiting for the bleeding to stop, mine was only for about 2 weeks but if your GP is not worried (and she sounds lovely btw) then just try and relax. And yes I talk about my MC like I am reporting on the latest fashion item?

shellshock STEP AWAY FROM THE FLIPPIN? PEE STICKS!!

Update here: BFN, but still no sign of AF. Safe to say I am officially in the WTF cycle!

Shell I find it almost impossible to wait. This time, I opted for the head in the sand technique, worked quite well. I only wish I had kept my head in there 1 more day, and I wouldn't have got those confusing BFPs!

Oh, AF??.......... where are you??.........

Bugger it. Think I'm just going to go for it again with the TTC, now that I have had several BFNs.

Whingey, I'l be keeping my FX for you, hoping to see you on the TTC list very soon.

Hello all...and welcome to insomnia

whatso well done for going to the wedding, hope your head isn't feeling too sore today!

whingey so sorry to hear the bleeding still hasn't stopped, but good that you can start TTC again soon...hopefully! I also find myself very matter of fact when explaining to others, in fact felt v awful when I was chatting to a friend at work who started crying as I told her that we'd mc'd...I too would just like to feel that it was fully dealt with to move on and also not feel as though I've 'wasted' the past 6 months whilst TTC, pregnancy and then MC and recovery. This whole process is long and difficult but will hopefully have a happy ending for us all!

shell I always struggled not to POAS early amd suspect the 2ww post mc will be even more difficult!

eve I have put on half a stone through all this and discovered this morning that none of my work trousers fit so am back in my linen trousers (which I'm mightily sick of as that's all I've been wearing for the last few weeks!) diet needed here too!

Well, I'm back in the office and I must say that it's actually nice to be back and not sat on the sofa at home - wasn't expecting to say that especially as it's my birthday! But had a lovely morning with cards and pressies and a special treat from DH too bit earlier than the docs advised but good to get the first time over with and all ok! We won't start TTC until I've got a negative test result but nice end the drought!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Blue! Hope you're having a lovely day, even if you are at work. I'll take a muffin and , not sure it's the recommended combo but I'll give it a go

MissG How annoying! When consulting Dr Google (like, a million times) I did read somewhere that your cycle only returns when the hormones have dropped to zero so your AF may be delayed because it took a while for the hormones to go down.

Shell I did the same last cycle, I wanted so much to be pg and although we hadn't been trying, we hadn't been careful either, so I POAS in the hope about 3 days before AF. It was BFN obviously and I was gutted.

Summer I too have blurted out about my mmc a few times now. It's weird as I'm normally so private. I was telling a neighbour just the other day and she was giving that I'm-pretending-to-listen-but-I-just-want-the-earth-to-swallow-me-up look. I realised afterwards it was probably tmi for a random neighbour! I think it's maybe because it all gets buried under the carpet, no one talks about it, you ended up telling people so that you're talking to someone.

Btw, Charing Cross does have toilets but they're attended so could be

Whingy my bleeding was on and off until my AF. I hope it stops soon for you.

Been struggling a bit today, went to the gym and everyone seemed to be pregnant. I felt this great sense of desperation to be doing something proactive to get there again and felt down that DH is going away when it's prime SWI time. I feel like there's more waiting (does anyone else feel like the days are dragging?) until next month now. Grrrr!

marathon here have a - a bit early i know but we are celebrating bluecranes birthday - happy birthday BC!

and yes my colleague had that look yesterday - omg i just remembered i too told a random neighbour last week! i think i am trying to be all 'yeah yeah am cool about it'

am taking some positive steps, cutting out caffeine and brie (i dont take it together!) and joining slimming world tonight. i only need to lose about a stone but it is something else to think about

missgiraffe a for you too - WTF indeed

hoping the days whizz by for marathonmama i know exactly what you mean

Blue, I am a dunderhied - happy birthday! What a lovely start to your day . Cheers for the cookie.

You're probably right marathon. I'll give it a week, then I'm complaining (to God, to mother nature, to who ever will listen ..... i.e all you lovely MNers!). Will be hitting the gym later too. Should've been around 17 weeks pg on my holiday, had been looking forward to not having too bother much about bikini body/waistline . Yes, I feel the days are dragging by,
unbelievably slow. The first thing I think about as soon as my eyes open in the morning (or even before) is POAS. Is this normal??!!

Eeeeoooooowww, public toilet sex, gross (in the style of almost 15yo DD). The vajazzle idea doesn't seem so bad now the TTC chat descended to these new lows! .

I am also very matter-of-fact when talking to people about MC, like I sprained my ankle or something. I think that must just related to our natural human ability to cope with trauma and upset. It's when I'm on my own that I have a cry to myself. I've never been one for crying in front of people, always try (and usually succeed) to hold it in then take time when I'm on my own to let it all out. I sometimes worry that I must seem really cold-hearted

Afternoon ladies - am sat on the sofa had 2 week sick note from the hospital thought about going back to work, but as I have not been sick in years going to relax this week. DP back to work so nice to have some peace.

Happy birthday Blue hope you have a lovely day today.

Summerbird - good luck with SW. I am back to weight watchers tomorrow. Had lost 2.5 stone before BFP so hoping I haven't put on too much in the last few weeks. As you say gives me something else to focus on and feel like I am doing something positive towatds TTC

I think it is good we can talk about these things. Had dinner with mon fam last night 3 sister, 1 brother and their DP's and I wanted to let them all know I was ok, just a bit sad, so hard to find the words, but people can be supportive if they know.

Anyway I rambled on. Got to get off the sofa and get DS from pre school.

Hi everyone,
I am back from a lovely week away on a cruise. The witch showed up bang on time so am hoping my cycles have settled. My thyroid bloods have also settled too but they have upped my dose to get them extra good for ttc. I am now officially back on the wagon and we are ttc as of this month, not putting my stats up though because it stresses me out too much!
Anyone waiting to test? We need some bfp's!

Thanks for the welcome all and your kind messages!!!!

Is so nice to talk with people who see where I'm coming from - told my member of staff today (were very close) and managed to do it without crying, tearing up or even choking up.......she has agreed to pick up some more work over the next couple of weeks so that I can chill a bit more and have less stress from work!!!

So glad I have such a supportive team. Got my pamper day booked in for Friday and I'm really looking forward to it!!!

Hope all of you ladies are doing well and wish those of you waiting for BFP's all the best......keeping my fingers, toes ect crossed for you!!!
Xxxx

Welcome back ciwi, did you have a lovely time?

No testing here yet but am looking forward to some BFPs, hopefully will rub off on all of us! Can whoever gets the first one vibe lots of fertility to the rest of us please?

MissG know what you mean about exercise, I had the same problem in the south of France, Jelly Belly and nothing to show for it. I haven't lost the weight yet either, too much comfort eating and too many of Blue's tasty muffins I suspect

Eve glad you're taking it easy, how old is your DS?