Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 16)

[olismum23]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wttc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

stats to follow

Part 15 here

Blue Glad it all went ok, apart from the hand thing. Hope it sorts itself out. Enjoy tucking into the food - what a nice thing to do. I felt as though I gushed the first 2 times I went to the loo (sorry if TMI) after the ERPC, but then the day after was only very light bleeding/spotting, which had as good as stopped by the end of the following day. Expected much more tbh.

I am having DH issues, he didn't even tell his dad, step-mum or sisters about our MC. They know we've been trying (and knew about previous ectopic) so when we were all out last night, one SIS said "well, no sign of mini-me yet??". I felt really awkward as it was her birthday and I didn't want to give rotten news like that, so just joked saying we're still on the case. Put a bit of a dampner on the rest of night for me.

I accused my DH of the MC not being important enough to bother telling his close family about, that it was not high enough on his list of priorities. I feel like I've been a total beatch, I'm not normally like that. Will just have to blame the hormones (almost 4 weeks on?......... Note to self: stop being a cow)

Whingy, Hi. I thought the hospital said to me they'd give me test to take home to check after a couple of weeks that it was -ve, but then they didn't . Actually, that might have been referring to the medical management option. I wasn't really taking it all in. I haven't tested, but wished I had now. I'll have to do one next week if af doesn't arrive (although, I have a feeling it will). I'm not sure how I'm feeling about av arriving. Is anyone else feeling as indecisive?! I would obviously love to get pg asap and, as we've been DTD, I suppose it's possible. But, if av doesn't arrive next week, and I get a bpn, I'll be stuck in that not nice limbo of not knowing when my cycle is going to sort it's self out. sigh...

Happy holidays ciwi!

marathon DH has an applemac and I have yet to find the hash key on it!! Sorry...guess it must be there somewhere though it could just be one of those odd apple things!!

missgiraffe it's so hard knowing that hormones sending you a bit loopy though I must confess I would probably have reacted the same way as you if my DH hadn't told his close family TBH. I was def expecting more bleeding but not unhappy that it seems to have stopped...like you am not looking forward to first AF as think it's going to be pretty rough, but I will take some comfort from knowing that my body is sorting itself out! DH wants to start trying asap though I am erring on waiting for AF first so that I know where I'm at if that makes sense, I know there's conflicting advice about when to start again so am a bit about what to do for the best.

Have some peace and quiet at the mo as DH has gone out with his parents for an hour or so...hadn't realised how much I was craving some space...bliss for the moment!!

Hi Marathon nice to see you! Don't know anything about this progesterone withdrawal thing, sorry (might google out of interest though!)

Sorry for the me me me posts there, have just re-read and it was a total moan. Have just had a cry, and feel much better Thanks Blue. Yeah, I'm not sure what I want, but am fairly certain (see above rant) that I pre-menstrual now!!

missgiraffe PMT could be a good thing at least it means your body's getting itself back in line so hopefully TTC can commence properly once you've got AF out of the way!

Right, back to B&B hunting and sorting out what we're going to do in Southern Ireland for our weekend away at the beginning of July!! There has to be a positive side of MC somewhere and this weekend away is that for us at the moment as we couldn't afford it whilst we were expecting an addition to the family in December as we needed to save every penny for when I would be off next year, but now allowing a little slack in the savings and a treat!

Blue talking positive, don't forgot you can indulge in some holiday tipples and have your B&B brekkie with runny eggs

MissG maybe you are pg? That would be good going! I thought I could be as my boobs were really painful pre-AF but alas I'm practically haemorrhagging today (sorry, definitely TMI) so twas not to be this time. I have already pencilled in my fertile days for this cycle though and have realised that I'm out one night, DH is out another and we have my DSC to stay on the other two nights. Not a good start!

Hi all,

May take me a while to catch up - my internet connection is being sporadic due to the issues in the area, so keeps cutting out on me through the day and leaving me behind on all my threads. Hopefully it will be resolved soon.

I got some EWCM yesterday, and haven't bled for the last few days, so I'm now thinking that my body has got itself back on track and is readying itself for fertility. Me and OH may start ttc again, we both want a baby as quickly as possible - we really feel there's something missing in our lives.

Hi Dizzy there's no reason not to go for it. My consultant said the only reason they recommend to wait one cycle is so that you're over it emotionally and so that they can date the next pregnancy. Apparently lots of people don't ov in the first one or two cycles post mc though .

I found the FAQs on this website really helpful www.pregnancyloss.info. It outlines what cycles can be like post mc/ erpc. It also has the sperm meets egg plan for optimising your chances of getting pg when ttc again. "Sperm meets egg" sounds so When Harry met Sally... hopefully not faking this time...

I'm now CD3 and it's going soooo slowly...

Happy Sunday all!

Evening all...

Just found out that a couple of friends who we see frequently have just announced they're expecting, so are only a couple of weeks behind where I would've been, which is going to be difficult seeing their bumps grow each week knowing that's roughly where I would've been at

Other than that I've had a bit more energy today which is good and even made it out the house for the first time since I got back from the hospital on Thursday! Have decided that I am going to try and go back to work on Friday so that I can get all of those awkward 'where've you been for the last 3 weeks' questions out of the way and then be ready to start back properly the following week (was signed off the week after first scan when they found mmc and then off last week for repeat scan and erpc...feels as though I've been off for ages but keen not to rush back before I'm ready). So now making a list of things to keep me occupied as I get back on my feet this week!

On the starting to TTC again discussion DH keen to start asap but I'm keen to have AF first so I know where I'm at but not sure whether this is the best thing as I know I'll find first AF pretty awful and will I then just think I've wasted time?!

Hi again everyone, hope you all had a great (wet) weekend : - )

So, I've finished 'Taking charge of your fertility' and what a difference it has made to my outlook already...I had been so down on our chances of conceiving...just not knowing whether I am even ovulating after the miscarriage and after charting (only doing the other two as thermometer hasn't arrived yet!) for just three days I feel so much more positive.
I think its taking back control of what it going on, I know that it still may be a long road...but now I will be able to work out exactly what is going on in my body.

I would recommend it to anyone who is feeling totally lost after a miscarriage and is looking for something positive to focus on...

I'll let you know if it is successful (fingers, toes, everything crossed!)

Hi everyone

Thanks for all the advice/ wisdom - much appreciated.

I'm bleeding A LOT this weekend. It's been 2 weeks and 3 days. I just want it to stop now. How can you replenish what you lost if you're still bleeding?! How can you get on with getting pregnant if you don't stop bleeding? Grrrrrrrrr. I know I'm preaching to the choir.....

Anyway, Bluecrane, I know what you're going through. I went into work the week after miscarried (I only work a couple of days a week so didn't miss any work time) and my colleague told me she was 13 weeks pregnant and due the same day as I was. I'm obviously very happy for her, but it's hard to hear everyone congratulating her when my world has just fallen down around me. Also have another colleague who's 7 months and my best friend's 29 weeks.

I've had a better weekend with my 2 year old - not so tetchy- although I think it helps that my dh was around go help. She's so sweet though. An ambulance went past us today and she asked if it was for mummy. You think they do 't take it in, but it seems she did- to an extent.

Hope you're all okay... X

Morning all.
Dizzy and Shell, sounding good. Best of luck! Everything crossed here.

Blue and Whingey*. I know exactly what you mean. On my 3rd day back at work, I was in a meeting with my colleague who is due just a few weeks before I would have been
I was also at a baby shower yesterday. One of my best friends, she's due on 30th. Am really looking forward to her having her baby. There were 4-week old twins there too! Absolutely adorable. Was really nice to see them (as I hadn't seen their Mum for years) but kept feeling little twinges of sadness at the reminder of what I'd lost.

Still no af yet . 4 weeks today since ERPC. Cycle was 27/28days before. Might buy tests when out today, but might not

whingey sounds like you are feeling the same as me - I was so cross about the bleeding stopping and starting again when I felt ready to start TTC again!

Mine has stopped again as of yesterday but it did that last week and started again so I'm giving it another day before I start counting my chickens...

It's such an unsexy conversation with DH too - are you ready to start doing the wild thing again, as soon as this pesky bleeding stops? Not exactly a turn on.

Good morning, tea all round?

missg the curiosity must be getting to the better of you? I think in your shoes I'd be down to Boots as quick as you could say clearblue. I'm impressed with your patience though. Have you had a BFN since your ERPC?

blue I really understand what you're saying. All but one of my NCT group are pg and they keep saying things that give me little punches of pain in the stomach, Iykwim? Like I said "I'm tired" and one of them looked down at their bump and said "you think YOU'RE tired" and I just wanted to shout "I'd love to be as bloody tired as you". They know about my mmc but are so excited about their babies they're quite insensitive sometimes. I just sit there with a fixed smile and gritted teeth

Happy Monday all, CD4...

Morning all...anyone for a ?

after no bleeding to speak of since Friday morning I was woken in the night with bad cramps and am now bleeding again which is frustrating! Going to try and be a bit more active today but feeling a bit wasted with these cramps!

Need to speak to my boss as well to confirm that I probably won't be back in until Friday which I'm sure will be fine but am really not looking forward to the barrage of questions from everyone when i get back - all well meant but will be difficult - I don't really want the whole office knowing!!

whatsoever I know what you mean about the 'unsexy' conversations though! Still v early days here but DH has tentatively asked a couple of times when we might be able to start TTC or even just DTD again!

Decided I am going to POAS on Thursday which will be a week after ERPC to try and gauge where my body's up to.

coffee for me please . First one of the day!
marathon, no, that's what I'm worried about. I really wished I had tested 1 or 2 weeks after op. (Bluecrane think you're doing the sensible thing POAS). I'm worried that I'll get a BFP, but then it turns out to be retained product. Although, surely I'd be in pain/be bleeding/have smelly discharge (gross) if it wasn't all gone??
Has anyone ever heard of someone having retained products (sounds so clinical ) 4 weeks after op but with no symptoms????

Am very reluctant to have a scan too early this time, think this is why I'm putting off testing. If its bfp, then I'll just have longer to worry. Dammit! Have no signs either way. Could have sworn I was pre-menstrual last week, but now nothing.

Anyway, just back in from a meeting, and off out to another in less than an hour. Suppose I better have something healthy to eat before I go, just in case......

Hope you're all having good Mondays . Whatso and Whingey, sending Red Sea drought vibes your way!!

Just marking my place so I don't drop off active convos... having another wobbly day so not feeling too chatty.

missg hang in there - as you say, if it is a bfp then you just have longer to wait so maybe set yourself a target in a few days (or week if you're feeling strong?!) and if no AF by then you POAS. Not sure about the retained products thing, I guess their should be symptoms but if I've learnt anything through the MMC process is that my body could be doing all sorts of things and I wouldn't have a clue! Sorry, not much help I know!

Sending hugs and cake for manda hope your day gets better...

I seem to have found my brain again, that part of me actually starting to feel a bit more normal and I went out on my own, in the car, for the first time in over 2 weeks which was quite freeing and nice! Told my boss I'd be back on Friday so have something to work towards now too, and only 2 weeks at work then before long weekend in Southern Ireland so hopefully that will help.

Bluecrane If there's anything these last couple of months have taught me, it's that pushing yourself too much after this has happened usually doesn't end too well, so DO sit and drink tea!

For those of you testing for either bfn or bfp, I noticed in boots last week that the first response early result are bogof. So two twin packs is quite good value (works out about £250 a test).

Wow, £250 a test isn't quite the good value I'm touting. £2.50* per test, I mean.

Thanks for the tip Manda, will nip down to Boots after work tomorrow. (and had to lol at the £250 per test )

manda I'm firmly routed to the sofa with and toasted hot cross bun! Re-runs of 'property ladder' on the TV and am settled with my laptop. Will stay here until popping round the corner to my friend who's cooking me dinner tonight DH working until 10pm tonight so will be nice to have some company!

I still have some of my cheapy internet POAS left over so may use those but am tempted by the FR so may stock up in readiness for TTC, though will check prices as last time I found it cheaper to order from Amazon - only suitable if organised and don't need to know an answer for a few days though

Manda thanks for that. I have spent a small fortune over the past year or so, always good to get a bargain!

Glad you're getting there Blue - hope you enjoyed your tea and bun! Once you're back at work, there won't be much tome to rest I'd imagine, so make the most of it just now.

Yeah, when I had ectopic last year, my hcg doubled, and they said "hcg never doubles, so it must just too early and, so far, seems a viable preg" - wrong. 13 looooong days later, followed by another agonising 48-hr wait for hcg results - "ooops, it is ectopic afterall" It's definitely not an exact science is it?!

Am home without having gone to chemist. Will try to hold out a few more days.

Well done for avoiding the chemist missg but so sorry to hear about ectopic experience!

I'm feeling pretty tired again this morning so may have over done it slightly yesterday. I'm bleeding on and off at the moment which seems a bit strange though and (sorry TMI) but it seems to be fairly bright red blood, ie looks new, not old?! Anyone else had this? I thought the blood should be older/darker and not new stuff?

How's everyone else today?
hope I've not missed anyone!!

Blue - I was told to give the gynae unit or GP a ring if there was significant new blood? Although I do remember having a conversation with a GP years ago and she said bright red blood (as opposed to the brown kind) has just come out of your body quicker rather than being specifically newer bleeding (if that makes any sense).

Hello all. My bleeding has now stopped for almost 2 days...just in time for my DH to go away for 3 days on a business trip and then we immediately go up to stay at my parents for a wedding! May try and squeeze a 'practice run' in before he heads off Thursday morning if possible. If would be nice just to get the first go out of the way and start to feel 'normal' again. You can tell I am feeling better as I am wearing nice matching underwear for the first time in weeks

Blue I'd echo what whatsoever says, I rang the gynae ward a couple of times after my erpc as my bleeding kept coming and going. They were very understanding and always reassured me. They told me to do a HPT a week and half after the erpc and if it was BFP then to call them but otherwise they said it was common to bleed on and off, hence why they call it the WTF cycle!

They said it's only worrying if you're filling a heavy pad within an hour or two. Is this the case for you?

I bled the day after the erpc, then nothing for two days then bleeding for about 3 days (red, fresh blood), then nothing for two weeks then one day of bleeding, then nothing for a week and then AF! I'm hoping the next cycle is more normal but suspect it's going to be weird for a few months.

MissG how are you today, I bet you're mentalling like mad. Any symptoms either way?

CD 5 here, AF has nearly gone, hoorah!