Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 16)

[olismum23]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wttc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

stats to follow

Part 15 here

ciwi i can imagine the wait must be so frustrating for you.
SES sorry you're having a crap time too, life does feel very unfair right now.
Dizzy so sorry for your loss. My OH is keen to try again asap. I'm still feeling confused and upset by it all though. Like you I thought i'd be able to detach myself from it all, simply see it as a medical thing. For something that's never talked about in RL, it's surprised me how many people seem to go through mc.

I'll have a brownie thank you very much blue how are feeling now? We're also planning a holiday in July, i think we deserve one!

Go for it bats I think a holiday is a good plan - as a treat after all this horridness but also a chance to relax and hopefully get some unpressured SWI in that's if our bodies have sorted themselves out by then...which I'm hoping to be the case!

Just spoken to my (male) boss who was ok about next week though clearly felt very uncomfortable talking about it all!! MC is such a taboo subject in RL which is strange given how common it unfortunately seems to be!

Thanks hotcrossSES, life seems does seem very unfair sometimes. I've been going through so much this year, I just wish life would give me a break. But it seems it wants to put me through my paces a little longer first. Am mentally preparing for another onward battle.

bats, yes I really did think I would be detached from it. I even told my OH about the high MC rate before we got our BFP to 'prepare' him and explained how if I had a MC I wouldn't feel too bad about it as I'd at least know it wasn't my fault and wouldn't be blaming myself for it. And I'm not, and I don't, but that hasn't made it nothing. He's dealing with it fine, I honestly don't know how I'm dealing with it. I guess typically I don't deal with things, I avoid thinking about them and whenever I'm confronted by them I try my best not to burst into tears and put them into the back of my mind again.

lol blue everything had better have sorted itself out by July. I'm planning a lovely warm summer 2012 with my brand new baby!

I'm quite similar dizzy i try to ignore things, for this i concentrated on the medical side and ignored the emotional side, which is why it all hit me this week. Only now (OH says and i hate to agree with him but) that I am now pushing it all onto the fact my boss is being mean (when really i could (only could) have taken it the wrong way) and so now i'm getting upset about work rather than the real issue of the mc that i'm avoiding!

on a more pleasant note... where to go on holiday - somewhere far far away with a very long flight and lots of injections, all inclusion to help increase my alcohol intake and eating of everything i couldn't a couple of weeks ago!

why are all the films on tv during the day about people dying, mothers fighting for their kids in court or titanic?! Today we have a father dying. What's wrong with something happy!
Think i might go clean the bathroom and kitchen!

Just popping in (while i am supposed to be working) for a brownie - will save the alcohol for later!
Welcome dizzy and SES
bats you should definately book a holiday. Krakow is nice and not in the euro so quite cheap when you get there (it was when i went anyway)
I am getting my nails done tommorrow because i am a bridesmaid on saturday! good weekend planned for me but a bit sad because my little boy should be at the wedding looking all cute :( I know he will be there in spirit though xxx

bats my house was so clean when i was waiting to m/c! maybe you want to go somewhere more exotic than Krakow then!

bats step away from the TV!! Whatever you try and watch will probably bring some unwelcome plot into the storyline which won't be helpful!! as for your holiday somewhere with lots of sunshine, beaches and yummy food/drinks sounds good! Think we're opting for a European city break as we've only got the long weekend...having said that quite fancy New York though ti does rather blow the budget (well actually the flights alone would blow the budget!!)

ciwi just had a quick look at Krakow which I quite fancied until i found that even with easyjet the flights were going to cost nearly £400 for the two of us Munich looking like a good option at the mo at £150 for flights...now the trawl for a hotel or B+B with good reviews...keeping me busy though!!

What's your holiday budget? Me and OH had been planning on going to Crete for our honeymoon, we were looking at around £700 for the 2 of us including flight and hotel for a week.

And I've found that with TV too - everything I'm watching at the mo seems to have a plot based around pregnancy, giving birth, or little children! Am not watching TV at the mo...

Love NYC but yeah not cheap! Can't believe Krakow flights so expensive! Munich would probably be nice though. I have no idea where i want to go!

ciwi i know its hard and you will have moments you feel sad at the wedding but try and enjoy it :( xx.

blue i've put the food channel on watching cupcake wars (while avoiding the cleaning) surely the food channel can't upset me. That said i watched one cookery programme last week which ended up making food for a baby shower!! It got switched off after i'd cursed them!

Crete sounds nice too. Not sure on budget, OH said we he's paying and that we should just say sod it lets have a bloody good holiday as next year fingers crossed we'll have a screaming bundle of joy to stop us going away anywhere exotic or peaceful! I looked up exotic only typically it seems to be hurricane or monsoon seasons everywhere in July! I even considered safari until i looked at the cost!!! There's too much choice out there the world is just too big for me to decide!

I'm watching The Apprentice from last night. I can't believe these are the best candidates they could find!

We've not really got any holidays planned but will be going to Ireland in July to see DH's family for his 40th birthday. DH did thoughtfully suggest that we go out for a meal tomorrow night but I'm not sure I'll be up for that with ERPC in the morning. Maybe we'll plan something nice for next weekend.

I watched the Apprentice last night, i have no idea which one might win, can see him sacking the lot of them! lol

Originally we weren't going to have a holiday this summer as i was going to save all my annual leave to add onto mat leave, so this is a proper last minute thing. That's really sweet of your DH, my OH offered the same, only i didn't feel like it the night before either, i just wanted to stay home. But i was also bleeding a lot so scared to move let alone leave the house, but i'm a wus!

I think the OH's need to feel they can offer to do something practical, hence holidays and meals out - I know my DH keeps wanting to know what he can do to help...often I can't think of anything, but he is doing all the cleaning (which he's better at than me!!) so the flat is super tidy and I'm sure he finds sweeping theraputic!

Re. hols anywhere in Italy would be lovely in July. We went to Sicily for our honeymoon which was so beautiful and gave us the Italy bug...in fact we should be due for another visit to stock up on Italian foody treats so might check out flights there too!

bats I haven't even started bleeding yet and am keeping myself at home just in case it starts!!

You're still not bleeding blue you must feel like a ticking time bomb (i did) this is going to sound really insensitive but (i found moving about made me bleed more or made more stuff come out, which is why i hated leaving the house, as soon as i'd walked about a bit or stood for a while things moved a bit more and i hated the feeling)... star jumps?! Seriously though i really do feel for you that's awful. Have you decided to definitely try to stick to natural route?
OH's do need to feel helpful and like they're doing everything they can to look after us. OH has been amazing, if nothing else the whole experience has brought us closer together, i've never felt more loved by him. he even cooked and thats a huge thing, to him cooking is this magical thing and the mere sight of raw ingredients and pans sends him into cold sweats! Of course him learning to make several dishes last week meant that he now realises im not as magical as he thought i was! They must feel pretty helpless though, it must be awful watching someone you love go through it and the blokes are always forgotten really and they're upset too, they've lost their baby too.

On happy note again I love Italy, if i can't think of anywhere new to go Italy never disappoints, i love everything about the country

bats I've been thinking that moving around might get things started a bit more quickly...did contemplate doing an exercise DVD though that might be taking it a bit too far...def with you on the ticking time bomb thing though!! Trying to go natural but if nothing by my next scan on tues will likely look at erpc as getting sick of the waiting and wondering!!

Munich still looking like the best city break option at the mo...

Just had a phone call from the hospital. My hcg levels are almost at negative, they don't see the need for a 2nd test now. Said to do a preg test next week to make sure it's negative.

Need to nip out soon to get a jar of curry sauce before OH gets home, not been feeling up to cooking lately.

Goodness, what a lot to catch up on! The sun has finally come out here, shame I'm working all weekend! So much for no pmt here...just got very wound up by my credit card company and phoned them for a rant! Thinking that af is inevitable this month, I'm looking on the bright side though-we're off on holiday next Friday so at least I can enjoy some wine and the spa pool at the swimming pool!

Welcome to the new ladies, sorry that you find yourselves here but it's lovely in here.

blue we went to Budapest a few years ago and it was beautiful. I love Paris too, and Rome (although might be a bit hot at this time of year)

Glad you are feeling positive stitch.

That sounds awful falcon, how are you all now? This is really the last thing you need right now!

Best wishes for your erpc hotcross

Enjoy the wedding ciwi! who is getting married?

Hello to everyone else!

blue if you go to munich you should get the train to salzburg in austria it only takes 2 hours and costs about £16. its such a lovely little place i went there in april.

tina boo for working all weekend and for the pmt. lets hope its not really pmt x Its my sisters wedding so i know i will have a good time and it will be lovely. also know i will have occasions when i miss my little boy too but thats ok x

Hi everyone else. i am off for some wine now because its my friday night!

Exercise dvd's?! That sounds like far too much effort... just dance about to the music channels or do a couple of star jumps! Really don't blame you for deciding to go for the erpc if things don't get going. I felt my body dragged it out so wanted the erpc, you must be going nuts! really feel for you.

Is it usual for the hospital to check your hcg levels when you mc? I had bloods done was never told any results from them.

Hi tina I second the booo for weekend work, that's pants!

Enjoy your weekend ciwi

I thought it was a standard procedure they would follow, based on what I've been able to google. I've often found the health services don't bother letting me know the results of various tests they've done on me, I was actually surprised they let me know these results - I think it's so they could stop me coming in today to get another blood test done and taking up more of their time. How long ago were the bloods done? Maybe you could phone them up about it?

You've got my sympathy tina, I've also got weekend work.

Just thinking back to my hospital visit on Wednesday. Does anyone else find it odd that the doctor gave me a 'smear test' whilst I was miscarrying? It struck me as odd at the time - how would she be able to see anything whilst I was bleeding? Especially since I'd had a smear test 2 months ago. If she was doing it just to "stir things about" shouldn't she have told me that?

Eurgh, thinking lots back to that hospital visit. Like when I was about to leave and one of the nurses seemed a bit resentful to give me pain killers (even though I hadn't asked for them and had even declined them in the a&e! It was the doctor's decision for me to have them!). She asked if I could get them at home, since it would take 3 hours for them to come from the pharmacy - all I wanted to do was get out of there. She agreed when I burst into tears and just said I wanted to go home - funnily enough a nurse appeared 2mins later with them. Tis weird, medical professionals begrudging you pain relief, I hadn't even asked for them.

The 'going nuts' feeling seems to be increasing with each day at the moment! I wake up with early period type cramps and then nothing! So frustrating! Might try the star jumps later though once my breakfast has settled!! Also realised after all that holiday googling yesterday that we should probably wait until we've got some clearer answers to this mess next week before booking anything - by which time my 'cheap' flights will probably have gone

dizzy sounds as though you had a rotten time at the hospital! I was suprised that they didn't take blood to check hcg last week and am a bit annoyed they didn't now as means we've nothing to compare with next week. But if they had I would've expected them to tell me the results, I don't see why they should know the answers and not the person being tested!! As for the smear that sounds awful!! I don't know how they would get a good result at all, normally they're v fussy that you have it done in between periods so no bleeding!