Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 16)

[olismum23]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wttc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

stats to follow

Part 15 here

Can I poke my head around the door and say hello?

I'm having to have an ERPC on Friday (would be 8+3) and this thread looks like some friendly people in (unfortunately) a similar position. I already have 2yo DS but did have 2mmc before him.

I've not quite got my head around ttc again but it is early days and I desperately want DS to have a sibling. We'd been ttc for 6mo and I just need to get to the stage where I can cope with the fact that this rollercoaster may hold yet more heartache along the way but hopefully will be worth it in the long run.

Because this is (in total) my 3rd miscarriage, they said they would send the products (oh I hate that term!) for investigation, Does anyone know much about that and what they test for?

Hope you don't mind me barging in with such a "me" post. Hope to get to know you all better.
Ses xx

Hi hotcross I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Unfortunately no experience of the tests, though I do also hate the term 'products'!

collie they haven't mentioned tablets but that may come up in discussion on Tuesday, in fact I will ask them about it though I had read that they can lead to a very painful albeit 'natural' experience which still might need monitoring in hospital, in which case I might prefer just to go with erpc if nothing's happened come tuesday. Trying to stay upbeat but the wait is starting to drag now, especially as I don't really want to go out and about anywhere or drive in case something starts suddenly! DH on his way home now though so will pop out this evening which will be nice...probably only to Sainsbury's but some fresh air will be good!!

to whatsoever

bump like the new name!

ciwi how was the docs?

Hello whatsoever - pleased to hear you're starting to feel a bit better. I'm having an erpc on Friday for a mmc (pills didn't work) so it's good to know. My first pregnancy too, so I know that bit is particularly shit. Good luck for the TTC - hopefully we'll both be on a bus soon.xx

Hi hotcross & whatsoever sorry you are both here but a very warm welcome

I have no experience of those type of tests but I think they look for genetic or chromasome problems - don't quote me on that though. Medics have a lovely way with words don't they?
bump yay for the scan!
tina fingers crossed for a lovely BFP for you x
blue I waited 2 weeks to mc naturally and drove myself slowly mad in the meantime. I ended up having the tablet to avoid a stay in hospital but bled heavily and ended up with an overnight stay anyway. You have to do whatever you are most comfortable with (although it really got on my nerves when everyone else said that to me at the time) I dont think any option stands out as better than the others x

Well I have just got back from the docs. she was really nice actually and said that she thinks i have been tested for everything already so thats good! Need to go for more thyroid blood tests next week and if they are ok we are good to go ttc wise - scary eh!

Hi to everyone I have missed out xxx

blue I had medical management, it was painful at times but I was given plenty of painkillers. It was also quite messy, and you aren't allowed to use the toilet without a bedpan which wasn't pleasant. Like ciwi I ended up staying overnight. It was the best option for me (I've already had a Caesarian and I was too scared of the tiny risk of scarring for an erpc) but it isn't for everyone, ask what your options are and pick what feels right for you x

Get busy then ciwi!

Good luck for Friday googie x

Waves to everyone else x

Sorry hotcross, how rude of me, I meant to say hello and best wishes for friday. I think they check the baby's chromosomes and look at the placenta to check for anything wrong with it's development and blood supply. I hope that you are able to get some answers and help, I found if so hard not knowing why x

Hi there, quick question for any of you out there!

I am 30, mc'd first pregnancy at 9 wks in Feb.
I've had one heavy AF and one strange/light one since.
We have been TTC for a few weeks.
Next AF due next wednesday.
BUT I am experiencing pregnancy signs as I did the 1st time. Such as metallic taste/insomnia/day long headache/ lower backache.
Am I crazy and just imagining this or could I possibly be getting signs of pregnancy already? It would be super early considering my AF is due next week, so I haven't actually missed a cycle yet.
Please let if anyone knows if this is viable?
fingers crossed.

Hello sun, it's certainly possible. Fx it's a bfp !

Morning everyone.

welcome sunshine so sorry for your loss. Yes, your sound like you have gotten back to normal so a bpf is certainly possible. Fx

whatsoever I have just realised there was someone on the Manchester thread with your name, but hasn't posted for a while. Is that you?

Thursdays List:

TTC

Tokyotwist ttc #2 cycle 1 cd 71 ucl unknown
MissTinaTeaspoon ttc #2 cycle 4 cd 25 ucl 28
Stitchinline ttc#1 cycle 4 cd 15 ucl 33ish
Loup23 ttc#1 cycle 5 cd 16 ucl 33
Thefalconsmistress ttc#2 cd 7 ucl 35ish

WTTC

CuttlefishDramas

Recent BFPs

Lily06 ttc#1 BFP 13/05/11
Piglet ttc#1 6+5 weeks
laylasmummy09 ttc#2 6+2

Welcome to all the newbies - make yourselves comfy and feel free to add to the list when you are ready.

I'm feeling quite optimistic at the moment. With my POAS obsession and dh getting with the program and being happy to dtd as and when required I feel in control of the situation :o, although that will all probably go out the window on the 2WW. I've also gone back to pilates this last month and I feel so much better, even dh has commented that I seem a much happier person :)

Collie yes that was me on the Manchester thread, you just reminded me that I posted on there a few times, I had forgotten (hence my retreat with no bye)

Morning all,

Hope you are all doing well, welcome to all the newcomers sorry you find yourself here but as i have found im sure you will find this thread a great source of comfort.

Having a bad week really. My dogs were fighting yesterday two JRT and my husband tried to pull one away and it bit his face He is the nicest dog in the world normally we have had him for 3 years and if anything he has been super softy. We rescued our other jrt six months ago and although she is a bit temperamental with the dogs the never fought I just never expected any of this so sorry if i have not been very active after everything in the last week or so i am exhausted! :(

Oh whatsoever I'm so sorry! you said you had an erpc just over a week ago. I know you were due to have your dating scan when you listed? Dud you find out there? That's what happended to me. I'm / we're here if yiy need to talk or vent.

falcon your poor oh! Must have been a shock. Is he ok?

stitch glad you're feeling positive. Feeling like you are doing sonething helps i know! Good luck! X

Hi please can I join you?

I should have been 11weeks pregnant this week, for the first time. But unfortunately I started to bleed at 9 weeks and scan showed mmc. All very scary as it was my first pregnancy. I've never been so exhausted in my life, really surprised me how it has hit me. Anyway I want to try and move on and get back in the saddle as soon as we can try again.
Once the bleeding has stopped is the only reason doctors advice you to wait until after your first period simply to make their lives easier - to work out dates etc? I've read a lot of people seem to poas to make sure they get a negative test before trying, how long would you usually get a positive test for after the mc?
Thank you

sorry for typos.

bats so sorry for your loss, but welcome to the thread. I'm sorry you have to be here but make yourself comfy. I was very suprised at how hard it hit me too. I also spent weeks pushing myself to feel better quickly, beause i felt thats what everyone expected, but after joining here i reaslised it was ok for it to be hard and for for the healing to take time. So please, just take the time you need to grieve. Be kind to yourself over these very hard weeks. Everyone on here has sadly been through the same thing, my first pg too, so we know exactly what you are going through and are here to support you when every you need it.

In terms of ttc again, did you mc naturally? Most people have had had mixed advice, some to wait 1 month, some not at all. Those who were told there was no need to wait where told the only reason to wait is for dating reasons like you said to make life easier for them. The time it takes to get a BFN seems to vary. I didn;t test straight away for mine, but i got one after about 4-5 weeks. But it coul;d have been sooner had i tested. How is your bleeding?

Hi All,

bats I would have been 11 weeks this week too :( I was just thinking this morning that I should have been having my 12 week scan next week just before we go on holiday but not any more. It's so sad. I am still red/brown spotting now (3.5 weeks after m/c). Was still BFP on Monday so will see what it's like at the weekend. I wish a BFN HURRY UP - JUST THIS ONCE! We dtd a few days ago (when I wasn't spotting) but aren't waiting for once cycle. The MW at the hospital said because of my age I shouldn't waste any time (!) However I've also ready it's common not to ovulate in the first cycle following m/c so who knows. It suddenly feels like 2012 is just around the corner!

A colleague asked me this morning about when we would be having no.2 and I started to well up and just said 'well, i'm 40 next year so unlikely to happen' when deep down I was hoping the exact opposite. I just can't let people know IRL how much I would love a sibling for DS.

I've continued temp charting during the m/c and they have been all over the place, ho hum guess it's to be expected.

googie will be thinking of you tomorrow for your ERPC.

falcon ouch! sorry to hear about the face biting, hope OH is okay

sun i'm guessing things can be messed up for a while post m/c so it's possible you could have ov'd earlier than normal? Do you use OPKs? Fingers crossed for BFP!

HI to everybody else i've missed. Isn't this weather utterly gorgeous (am assuming seeing as it's nice in Scotland that it's nice every where else too!) x

Thank you Collie, and sorry you've also had to go through a mc.
Fingers crossed i think the bleeding has finally stopped. I mc naturally. I was meant to have a erpc last Thursday but at the 11th hour i passed it naturally so the surgery was cancelled.
I think that's the hardest part is how much it hits you and i really didn't think it would be this bad. I think for the first couple weeks i just concentrated on the medical side, but now thats over the emotional side kicked in. It hasn't helped that work have put pressure on me to go back, even though the doctor signed me off and both the midwife and doctor told me i would need the time (i work with patients and am on my feet all day). Boss phoned me the other day and asked when i'd be back, even though she has my docs note with return date on it! so now im just worrying about work when i should b worrying about me! bosses make me angry, you'd think women would be more understanding. That said before i went through this i'd never have thought it would be as bad as it is! Rant over!

Maybe in a couple of weeks i should try a test, dont want to start trying again, get a bfp and find out its still from the mc!

Hi bats and sun - warm welcome and so sorry for your losses. I miscarried in march at 9 weeks but the little bean hadn't developed beyond 6-7 weeks. It was my 2nd pregnancy and I knew something was wrong as I just didnt feel pg iykwim? I got a bfn at about 2 weeks after i think.
pie was your mc definately complete? would get checked if you keep spotting
falcon hope your DH is ok. I have a little jrt cross and i love her to bits not sure how i would react if she did something like that though. what a stressful time!
Well I am just on my lunch in work - its my friday today as i have a day off tommorrow yipee! Not got much else to say, still wttc but should know in a couple of weeks if we can try again xxx

Hello all! Sorry to hear about everything going on at the mo for people - it's def a tough time without all the normal life stuff to deal with as well! I'm so grateful work said they didn't want to see me this week, though I need to ring HR later on to say it's likely I won't be in next week either so will see how that goes down

Feeling bit fed up today, went to bed and woke up with period type cramps but still nothing, not a single spot of anything to hint it's starting! Just wish my body would just get on and sort itself out, the limbo is starting to drive me nuts and I really don't want to have to go for a medical option, but just can't hang around waiting for another week not knowing if it will happen or not! My scan was a week ago now and I would've been 13 weeks from LMP tomorrow, though 12 weeks by my calcs due to long cycle. The sac they saw last week measured 5-6 weeks so surely my body should get on with it soon

Thank you ciwi and yes i do know what you mean, for about a week or more before i started to bleed i stopped feeling pregnant anymore and kept saying so to friends who just told me to be grateful i had no symptoms! The scan showed that although i should have been 9weeks it only measured at about 5-6 weeks.
ciwi may i ask why you're having to wttc?

blue i can totally relate. the 2 weeks i had to wait were horrible but i just couldnt face getting anything done because i had to be sure in my own head. in hindsight i am glad i waited because it made it more clear in my head. i really hope it happens for you soon wishing you lots of strength and alcohol!
bats i have since been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid (borderline) am on meds and once my levels are normal again i can ttc. the waiting is killing me but also giving me time to heal which i think i need but dont want - if that makes sense. My GP has referred me to a counsellor too which might help me mentally but i think there is a bit of a wait so who knows!

Hello again and thank you for the welcomes.
It's so sad that so many of us have to go through this. It's just not something that's really talked about in RL so I'm grateful for MN. In fact it was after googling for more info on mc after my first mc in 2008 that I found MN.

Pie - I think I could have written a lot of your post! The main topic of conversation with most of my friends at the moment is who is going to be ttc and get pg next. Even some of my work colleagues have asked me when DC2 will appear. I was 38 in Feb so time not on my side either.
I also agree that if you keep getting BFPs, there'd be no harm in getting it checked out with a scan.

Falcon - that must have shaken you and your OH up! We have 2 cocker spaniels and I'm sure they'd never get aggressive but I guess sometimes it's not so much aggressive as confused and defensive.

Blue - sorry you're feeling particularly down today. It could be your hormone levels dropping and hopefully things about to start? Look after yourself.

ciwi - anything nice planned for your day off?

Bats - thank you for the cupcakes and alcohol

stitch - that does sound v positive. FX for you!

Hello to everyone else!

I had a big bleed last night but still not convinced I've passed the sac. I will mention it when I get to the hospital tomorrow morning though. Feeling quite emotional and physically drained though so I've arranged to work from home today.
DH is away until tomorrow afternoon so I'm taking myself to the hospital in the morning and then hopefully he'll be able to come and get me in the afternoon.

Hi everyone, mind if I come in here whilst waiting to get my head around things? Just miscarried my 1st pregnancy after 2 months of trying and 3 years of waiting. OH wants to start trying again asap, which I guess would be as soon as I stop bleeding (miscarried on Tues/Weds, am possibly still miscarrying - is it ok for me to be here if I still haven't stopped?). I would've been 5+3 today, we only had our BFP last Wednesday. Spent just about all of yesterday crying, along with the horrible journey to the hospital and much waiting around. Think I was surprised at how much it hurt (in all ways) - I'd always thought I'd be able to detach.

Bookmarking my place.

Oh DizzyKipper I'm sorry to see you here. Grab a seat on the comfy sofa and some of Bats cupcakes. It is rotten and life seems so unfair and it does take time to get your head around it all.

Thanks ciwi and hotcross I'm keeping myself occupied trying to find somewhere to go for a last minute european city break at the beginning of July - we'd got the weekend booked off to decorate the 'spare' room which (unsuprisingly) neither of us really feel like anymore and since we now have a few more months (or several??) to save for my time off with (hopefully) DC1 think we might just try and treat ourselves...but I am amazed at how expensive all the supposedly cheap flights seem to be!!

Welcome dizzy so sorry you are going through all this as well.

As a break from my holiday planning who would like a or even something stronger for a mid-afternoon treat? Have got shed loads of chocolate brownies that I'd love to share with you all too before I get fat with them