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Conception

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Freak out room for those newly updiffed after MC to hold hands and support each other... Part IV

1000 replies

MummyAbroad · 24/03/2011 14:46

Newly pregnant after miscarriage? Here is a nice place to hang out and swap symptoms and worries until you are brave enough to sign up to the grads thread.

Here is a link to the old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1165866-Freak-out-room-for-those-newly-updiffed-after-MC-to-hold-hands-and-support-each-other-Part-III/AllOnOnePage#24507574

OP posts:
mattsmama · 29/03/2011 19:21

Katherine brilliant news regarding your scan - how reassuring and you must feel such a sense of relief Grin.

katherine2008 · 29/03/2011 19:40

Guys you are all fab - thank you. What a little community we have. On that note, I'm off to feel sick on my own... thank god the talk of fish is over!

tunnocksteacake · 29/03/2011 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkFondantFancy · 29/03/2011 21:34

I was just swinging by before bed. tunnocks you are not being even slightly silly - I did the same thing when I was due to meet up with a friend who's a few months ahead of me, and also freaked out when my mum / PIL wanted to talk about the baby. It just freaked me out to talk about pregnancy/babies, even though I was pregnant. I was (in fact actually still am) massively jealous of my friend - it's hard to imagine yourself that pregnant. I'm sure the happy, more carefree period will be back, but maybe only when we're massively diffed??!

Collie2 · 29/03/2011 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kat2504 · 29/03/2011 21:48

I'm just the same, last time I made so many plans in those early weeks and this time I am just hoping each day passes without anything going wrong.I got loads of baby books and read them all from cover to cover in my excitement. Felt a twinge of sadness when I got one of them back out today as it reminded me of that first time and the not at all anxious feeling of anticipation i had. I told loads of friends last time but this time nobody knows. Think I will say something soonish, if I get to this time next week without problems. I think having had an mc takes some all of the naive innocent joy of your pregnancy away, especially if it's the first you miscarry. I agree, do what feels best for you, perhaps just talk to one or two people close to you who won't blab it to facebook.

OrangeGloss · 30/03/2011 05:47

Katherine great news on the scan! :) and great they gave you a pic at that stage Envy
Velvet I am Angry at those men. When does BIL go? I bet they're leading each other astray
Emoo and Mattsmama good luck with your scans today
Lara my dh has been Shock to see me eating pork pies, when I normally wouldn't go near em! Bolied eggs make a good protein snack, but not as fun as scotch eggs
Wombat glad your 16 week appointment went well, that's another milestone reached
Tunnocks I don't think it's crazy, I've hated people asking me all sorts of questions that I don't need to consider for months. I'm just still feeling lucky to be pg and can't even begin to think about things like that! I'm sure she'll understand if you explain

I can't wait for my doppler fix tomorrow, still scared she won't hear anything, but I'm 50% sure I've felt a gentle nudge the last 2 days so am trying to keep positive :)

Sorry to anyone missed, I'm trying to reduce the length of my previously enormous posts! too early? Never!

kat2504 · 30/03/2011 06:24

Morning all! I second the good luck wishes for today's scanees. Looking forward to hearing good news from you both later on.

For those who've had an early reassurance scan, what number of weeks do you need to get to for it to be worthwhile, ie actually reassuring with a heart beat etc? I was over 8 last time but wondering if I can go a little sooner?

Feeling a little bit positive today as the evil clearblue actually went up. I am stopping them now before I break the bank! Still no symtoms though which is annoying. I am putting the tiredness down to work, and waking up too early each day to do yet more tests!

PinkFondantFancy · 30/03/2011 06:49

Kat 7 weeks should be ok to see stuff if you want to go earlier. Try not to worry about no symptoms-dachs has none and she's growing two!!

I puked at 3:30 this morning Confused it was a bit streaked with pink/red - something else to discuss with doc although hopefully not as sinister as it sounds as my mouth bleeds if I clean my teeth and I'm on lots of blood thinners too.

cep · 30/03/2011 09:35

morning all.

lol at collie's big butt.
good luck at your scans today dachs emoo and mattsmama

i had a horrendous dream last night. dreamt that i had passed the sac again like last time. infact exactly like last time i was holding it and i could see the baby inside. i woke up thinking i was getting over another mc, took a little while to click it had been a dream. why do we get horrid dreams in pregnancy?

LaraMi · 30/03/2011 09:41

Morning ladies - couldn't wait to log on this morning. Good luck with your scans today... really excited for you.

I woke up this morning feeling rubbish. In fact been feeling rubbish since yesterday. I rang St Georges Hosp to find out about their procedure for getting an early scan. The sonographer (same woman that dealt with my MC last time) was v helpful but her realism made me feel super negative. She told me off for my repeated pg testing - told me to stop cos I'll stress myself out for nothing. She recommended I came in for a scan (it's a walk-in service) in ten days time plus by which time "if there is a heartbeat, then there should be a heartbeat". She kept referring to my "history" and told me what to do if bleeding starts etc. I know this sounds ridiculous but she made me feel like she knows something that I don't and that I'm setting myself up for inevitable disappointment. I totally agree with you Kat and Collie - this time I feel so exposed to the harsh realities of pregnancy. I am trying to take it a step at a time but I just can't concentrate on anything besides how worried I am! I have tried to set up little milestones - first was a +ve pg test, next was a stronger +ve test (plus the five in between lol). Then the next milestone is my GP appt today, then the one after will be the early scan in two weeks time etc (will try and wait 2 weeks instead of 10 days). I feel like there's nothing inside me but a blighted ovum although I'd wish more than anything for it to be a developing bean. I don't want to have my booking appt until I'm way wat further down the line and to be honest, feel like it'd be a miracle if I got there.

Reassuring to hear that Dachs didn't have symptoms - I must feel my boobs 50 times a day. I just don't feel I have anything that is strong enough to be attributed to pregnancy. That alone gets me neurotic.

Tunnocks - I have two colleagues at work plus my sister that are all at the 17-18 week mark and I am super jealous of them (ladies - am not jealous of any of you that are doing well - just people close to me in RL). I feel like they are flaunting what I'd be desperate to have and it makes me resentful; turns me into a person I don't like.

Sorry for rant - feeling so neg this morning and can't say how I'm feeling to those around me!

owlbooty · 30/03/2011 09:55

The mc dreams are utterly horrible - and so very real sometimes, I've also woken up sure it was all over and then realised it wasn't, really freaks you out. It doesn't help that dreams in pregnancy seem to be so very vivid.

lara the tiny milestones were the only way I stayed sane in the first 12 weeks. One day at a time; trying to not test every day, booking appointments etc - the thing is, the odds are still massively on your side even if they don't feel like it from where you are standing. It's so hard to remain positive sometimes. I promise you, it gets better with time and they happen less and less frequently the more little milestones you get past.

Kat I would say the longer you can hold out for a reassurance scan, the more reassuring it will be when you finally get it - but everyone is different and you may find you feel better having been at 7 weeks where they should definitely see something if your dates are right. I waited til just over 9 weeks as I mc last time at 7 and wanted to be well clear of that date as up to that point I was utterly sure it was going to go wrong.

Collie Isn't that a heron? :)

Collie2 · 30/03/2011 09:55

Morning everyone

((hugs)) to lara i'm sorry you are feeling low this morning but if it makes you feel any better its like you are describing me, i feel exactly the same way about all of those things. I thought once i had got a bfp i'd start to be happy for all those people that were pg, even those around my previous dd, but thats not the case, i just feel really uncomfortable around them.

Your sonographer does sound a bit depressing but it seems thats just the way they are. they must see mc so often that she probably sees it as though she is helping you by preparing you for the worst, rather than reassuring you as to how well it could go - which it probably will (scoffs at self for not believing own advice when it comes to own pg)

Good luck with your gp apt today - i have mine too!

Good luck emmo dachs and matts today, looking forward to hearing some more happy bean news.

KnitterNotTwitter · 30/03/2011 09:56

Wednesday's List

Nickster 21+3 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 17+3 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 16+4 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 15+6 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 14+2 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 14+1 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 14+0 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 12+5 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Emoo 12+5 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Lovemysleep 12+1 EDD 11/10/11
KnitterNotTwitter 10+5 EDD 21/10/11 next scan 5/4/11
Onions 9+6 EDD 27/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 9+6 EDD 27/10/11
Velvetcu 9+5 EDD 30/10/11
IreneHeron 9+2 EDD 26/10/11
MummyAbroad 8+3 EDD 4/11/11
Hils74 8+0 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 7+6 EDD 9/11/11 first scan 29/3/11
Haffertee 7+2 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 6+6 EDD 22/11/11 next scan 4/4/11
Mattsmama 6+6 EDD 17/11/11 next scan 30/3/11
Ninunina: 6+2 EDD:21/11/11
Collie 5+5 EDD 25/11/11 first scan 19/4/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 5+4 EDD 26/11/11 first scan 19/4/11

Thinking of.... hairy; ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; harassed

KnitterNotTwitter · 30/03/2011 10:00

Lara the nicest scan lady at St Georges is Gayle Hanlahan (sp) in my opinion. She gave me the nicest hug after she found the MMC and by chance has done both my scans for this pg. She's always been super lovely...

Re: Dreams. I had a dream that i've got a second baby growing on my liver! I've googled it and apparently it is possible....! Not sure i'll mention it to the doctor though :)

PinkFondantFancy · 30/03/2011 10:01

collie I am no bird watcher but your stork looks like a stork to me!! Mmmm toad in the hole droooooollll!

And orange I would do anything for a pork pie right now!!! Hope Doppler goes well today!

CEP sorry about the dream, that must have been horrible :( I think bing pg gives you weird dreams anyway and for us lot it brings back some horrible memories.

Lara it's ok to have negative days, the Positivity will come and go for no real reason. Try not to read into what the sonographer said. The problem is that because they do shifts on the epu day in, day out, they become completely desensitised to it, I think they have to to stop themselves cracking up. The jealousy of other people is normal I think, lots of us have had it. Fingers crossed we'll all get to the smug bump rubbing stage too Grin

Good luck today scandudes thinking of you all. Turns out I've got one today too!! Didnt expect one so at least I've averted too much Pre-scan metalling....

Collie2 · 30/03/2011 10:09

ohh bloody bollocks!!! owl i think you are probably right. Sad DH kept saying herring, which was obv wrong but think he meant heron. But i like the idea of it being a stork so i'm going to keep pretending thats what it was Grin

pink what a lovely surprise, good luck to you to for your scan

katherine2008 · 30/03/2011 10:19

Good luck all the scanners today. And just about symptoms - I had none for ages and was getting freaked out. Since I hit the 7 week mark and I have been feeling really sick and my boobs have changed - but it really wasn't til around 7 weeks, so try not to worry guys. I know how hard it is, but every pregnancy is really and genuinely different.

LaraMi · 30/03/2011 10:23

Awww - thanks so much for your support Ladies - love you all! It's so awesome to read your messages - Collie, Pink, Knitter and Owl, thank you.

Collie - just pretend it's a stork... Whatever it is, it came to bring you luck! All I get in sarf London are manky foxes (or, erm, rats yuck!). Good luck with the docs today, Collie... I think we're both probs at the same stage you know.

Knitter - thanks for tip! I think this sonographer is called Anita. You're all right - she is very experienced and therefore I assume very desensitised to it all. You probs live quite near me, Knitter (am in Streatham Hill). My local hospital is technically Guys and St Thomas' but St Georges is only five mins in the car or if I can't be bothered to drive, ten on the bus.

GOOD LUCK FOR SCANS TODAY..!

cep · 30/03/2011 10:26

collie i'll swear blind it's a stork. they're all just big white birds anyway. Grin

pink fx for your unexpected scan.

cep · 30/03/2011 10:32

havne't seen mummya for a little while, hope you're ok.

Emoo · 30/03/2011 10:53

Wibble wobble wibble wobble jelly on a plate!! Grin
Feeling all excited and nervous at the same time. Scan is later this afternoon. I'm fully expecting bean to still be there and alive (saw hb at 9 weeks and bleeding has settled since then, so odds definitely in my favour), so I hope I don't get a massive disappointment... and like Dachs am more concerned whether they will identify any problems with the nuchal fold. It's strange, I'm wibbling, but I have to say, I found the early scans were far more nerve-wracking, so I feel for you Mattsmama and anyone else with a scan coming up soon. Good luck to all of us, and thanks to all of you who are thinking of us and sending good luck vibes.

Knitter that's quite early for your anomaly bloods - but sounds as if they put it all together with the scan and give you a result there and then, whereas I have a bit more waiting and mentalling ...

Lara and Orange - nom nom nom Scotch eggs.. might have to nip out and buy one for lunch. Lara - I'm sure the sonographer knows nothing that you don't! It's just not possible to be reassured so early, unfortunately, we just all have to wait and wait for that first scan and keep ticking off the days, and keep our fingers crossed. Please don't stress too much about lack of symptoms. I've been looking back, and I had no symptoms at all until 6 weeks, and even then, only slight nausea. Definitely no sore boobs at any time at all, and the frequent weeing has only started in the last couple of weeks.

Owl - Grin at the knitted thong. I remember when I was little and my mum had crocheted a "willy-warmer" for my dad (this was the 70s..!) and I found it in the laundry pile and started using it as a dolly's sleeping bag.

katherine - congratulations on a lovely scan!! And due date is cool too - imagine having that as a birthday!

teacake - bless you, you are not crazy/mean/unreasonable. I've had many people who are pregnant around me during the last few months, and I've continued as normal with some, and avoided others. It's simply self-preservations. Some people I trust not to say the wrong thing, nor interpret what I say in the wrong way, some people I don't trust quite as much. I might be doing them an injustice, but I've not risked it.

Collie - I'm sorry, I also think your stork is a grey heron, but a lovely sighting and photo nonetheless. And they look pretty similar to storks, so it can still count as a good omen! Grin I didn't think we had storks in this country, hence me asking where you lived - I thought it might be somewhere exotic! I don't know if you want to consider asking MN to delete your post though, as the link breaches your confidentiality?

kat - I agree with pink - I'd aim for 7 weeks if you can. Technically, a heartbeat can usually be seen from 6 weeks, but if your dates are a bit out, you might not see what you want and it might just increase your stress. Also, at 7 weeks, they might look with an abdominal US first - I am by no means slim (size 12-14ish) but they could see bean and hb at 7 weeks via the tummy and I avoided the fanjocam.

Pink wouldn't worry about a bit of blood in vomit - from my student days I recall someone vomiting loads then vomiting blood and they said it was a torn/irritated oesophagus, and it got better by itself. Oooh I've just seen you have a scan too - good luck!

Cep - poor you with the horrid dreams ... it DOES get better, in my experience. You still get anxiety dreams, but their content is more obviously dream-like and unrealistic, iyswim, so it's easier to switch to reality when you wake.

Happy Wednesday to all - will be back at teatime to update (have to rush from scannage to school before coming home and Shock don't have a smartphone!)

Wombat33 · 30/03/2011 11:31

Morning all! Huge hugs to all scanees today xxx FX for good strong HBs and little nuchal folds.

Emoo I was told I'd get my bloods/combined result back kwithin 2 weeks but was mentalling so much I phoned them after two days and the results were on their computer and they told me over the phone! Worth bearing in mind also that I understand if the results are concerning they will usually phone you withing 2 days so no news is good news!

Kat I had my first scan at 7weeks. The private place I had it done (Fetal Medicine Centre in London - brilliant!) won't scan befoore that as they say the risk of an inconclusive scan is too high. At 7wks they were able to see everything with an abdominal scan - no need for the fanjocam!

Lara, Colllie I think it's perfectly natural to be a little envious of those ahead of you. I know for a fact I have felt the same way all the way through. Even now at 16 weeks (which I'm sure seems like heaven to those of you who are much earlier on), I'm still envious of friends who'v'e already had a good 20wks scan or already passed that magic 24week viability milestone or are at 30+ weeks when, in my imaginings, I would feel more confident that if baby did arrive everything would be okay. I think we're probably just destined to feel a bit anxious all the way through until we have our babes in our arms (and probably beyond!).

Tunnocks I'll let you know what the consultant says!

Daisy if you're out there? Hope you're okay?

xxx

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 30/03/2011 11:35

Just a quick good luck post to all scannees - dachs emoo mattsmama pink and anyone I've missed! Thinking of you all x

KnitterNotTwitter · 30/03/2011 11:35

kat I was very lucky and saw a heart beat when I went for my 'check it's not ectopic' scan at 6 weeks. They also brought my dates forward to 5+4 at that point - which seems VERY early for a hb.... I had my next scan at 9wks by the revised date and there was lots more baby to see then!

lara Yes I'm in Southfields now but my parents lived on Braeside Road in Streatham Vale (i was born at St Georges too) and that's probably even closer to you!

Emoo yes the bloods do feel early! Basically there are two sets of midwives working off different dates - one set are going from the adjusted dates from the first scan I had and the other set are going from the first day of my last period... The anomalie bloods/scan are all scheduled based on the first day of my last period and to be honest i'm expecting that they'll change my dates next Tuesday at the scan... Having measured a bit small at the first scan the bean was a bit oversized at the second scan - must have just been having a slow growing day at the first scan! According to the LMP date I'm 11+2 today....

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