Tunnocks I'm so very sorry to hear your news, your feelings about whether you'll get to hold a newborn again is very much in my mind as well 
, we have so many lovely pics of DS when he was tiny around the house and they just feel like reminders of what won't happen again at the moment. I'm trying to remember that I'm blessed to have those photos in the first place, but it's hard to get so close to achieving the one thing in world you want so much, and have that hope dashed all over again. In one of my howls, I said to DH that I wished there was something else that I wanted, that I could work for, but there just isn't. Work, house, money, travel it all seems very insignificant in comparison with my desire to have a healthy baby.
Sorry you're getting poor service from healthcare - it's so hard to deal with on top of everything else.
Bad enough having to do all the work cancelling etc. If you can be seen on Monday, then press for a scan to check everything is ok, and just ensure it's recorded in your notes. My leaflet from EPU said that if I miscarry naturally I should return 2 weeks after for a scan, so this shouldn't be beyond normal treatment. It also says that if I'm in a lot of pain to go to A&E or come into EPU.
Wombat and Pink so pleased your scans were good, I was starting to dread being the start of a run of bad news and getting very nervous for you both. Not as nervous as you were, of course, but still. Wombat really hope that NT scan shows a nice thin layer and that you can set mind at ease for a few weeks. You should get a good long look with that one too.
velvet I think you need to stop expecting yourself to feel relaxed about this. Why on earth SHOULD you feel calm, happy and optimistic about it? You're in a situation that you know can go wrong, and if it does go wrong you know exactly what sort of pain and frustration you'll experience because you've just lived through it. Plus there's no way of knowing for sure what is going to happen, just a series of indications of what has happened so far. Sorry this isn't an 'it'll be alright' because I can't tell you that. So maybe you just need to accept as much as possible that it's scary, that you desperately want it to work, and that you're doing what you can and can't control everything. It's a sucky situation and putting pressure on yourself to be happy about it isn't going to help.
I've spent much of today on the phone sorting out a private ERPC, calling insurance to check it's covered then trying to find a good place. I was up at the NHS epu yesterday confirming that it was what I wanted, expecting to be booked in quickly (as this is what happened last time), but they've re-organised things and now they're only done at a hospital quite far from me, today's list was cancelled, computer system was down so couldn't confirm when blah blah blah. I am still waiting for a phonecall from nurse to tell me when it would be on NHS so decided I may as see whether private would cover it and am pleased they do. Have also got GP to sign me off for two weeks. Every time I do something to 'deal with' it, I have another cry because it reminds me that what I want to be doing is a booking in appt, etc. But it's one way to get through the day.
Felt really upset when I walked home from taking DS to his childminder and realised I still had my morning nausea, how wrong is that?! Oh well, DS is starting afternoon nursery sessions at the moment and it's his last 'settling in' today, so best think about going to pick him up and take him to his 'little school'.
I have everything crossed for you digi.