Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

What did she have Dor? All ok? How much did s/he weigh?

It may be your BIL did the thing of letting both sets of parents know and left it to them to pass on the good news and then went back to adoring his newborn. Don't fret about it.

I FFJ news, I am taking EPO, fish oil, drinking GALLONS of water and have even started drinking horrid grapefruit juice. It's day 12 and there's nada. Nothing. Not a jot

Congrates on becoming an AuntieAuntieDor srry BIL is a bit of a twunt but rie s probably right. Must be hard for you, glad my sis got her procreating out of the way before I thought about starting.

She had a girl, Eden Phoebe. 6lbs 15oz.

Think my bil is just a wanker. He managed to text his sister. God I sound bitter and twisted!

rie ihave also tried all those things with also no success. So have given up the yucky grapefruit juice and I can never remember the epo anyway. Is most annoying as I'm sure I used to have ffj when I was not ttc.

I am joining alps with the horrendous killer droid. I had teh sechs three days in a row two weekends ago so am sure it is not for lack of trying. Am in much pain and lounging on sofa letting the man look after me.

And tomorrow I will give in my notice at work!!! Am nervous about telling them. A life of poverty awaits me but I will be much less stressed and expect ironidiff next month as soon as I have got rid of accrued maternity pay rights.

Bruges was a great trip. The chocs have not lasted long though.
Am now going to read the thread and catch up with what I have missed. Any good news?

Thoughtless, granted :(

I'm just a dried up old hag aren't I? Practically a spinster. I mean I've got a cat and everything.

Hello Kat. No good news I'm afraid in here, but there have been a number of lays in the Deli and therefore they are advertising for new inmates. No pressure on us, then. Glad you enjoyed Brugge and good luck telling work.

I too used to have gallons of the stuff. Think it's part of being in your mid thirties. Or maybe I'm having a non-ovving month. Whatever, it's unfair.

Doris don't let your BiL get in the way of enjoying your new neice, a little dot!

Kat welcome home sweet cheeks, glad you had a good time. My bro is being taken to Bruges for his 30th in a few weeks so do you have any 'must do' tips? I was thinking of arranging something for them whilst they are there by way of a gift so would love to hear of any advice.

I'm feeling surprisingly chipper after another heavy night. Visited sister yesterday and had lovely afternoon of nephew enjoying, lunching and shopping. The 4 hours changing from train to train was less fun but dancing around to 90s choons made up for it in the end. TGB and the BiL are as excited as kids for their Wembley trip. We've had Facetime with his kids this morning and they were dressed up in their blues kits, blowing kisses and saying 'I hope you win Daddy'. Oh my weeping uterus.

Ri sorry, should have added a squeeeze for you. Maybe I can juice you?

Congratulations auntieauntiedor BILs are often nobs aren't they?

Sounds like there was a lot drunkeness over the weekend! Particular accolades to trunkin and ah'mfinebitspewypony!

rie why are you drinking devil grapefruit juice? Genuinely curious, is it good for FFJ? Just it makes my face grimace into a horrible rictus snarl and my nostrils flare!

Sorry about droid kat and about the dwindling chocolate stockpiles. Glad Bruges was nice though.

I have been happily scoffing greek yoghurt with blueberries and honey and saying to the FDH that I can't believe it's fat free as it's so creamy. Turns out I have been labouring under a misunderstanding for years as is 20% fat. Explains it deliciousness and also my expanding on a daily basis arse!

Congrats OfficiallyAuntieDoris

The best thing to arrange would be a private boat trip. Dunno how though as we just went on a regular boat trip with lots if other tourists. A private one would be quite romantic in style of gondola ride!
Going up the belfry was good but some renovations at the moment so you can't see all of the view. Was still good though. We had a great dinner at a restaurant called poule moule, the chocolate mousse was divine! Eating waffles in the main square was good, strolling around the minnewater (lake of love!) very pleasant. Also drank some beer!

Hello M'dear. I like it when you pop in :) Not long now, eh?

Biteme, yes apparently grapefruit juice is supposed to help with FFJ production, though opinion is divided on the subject. I don't actually hate it, which helps. I've never worked out why, however, as surely it is full of citric acid and you want to be making your fanjo more alkaline to be more hospitable to visiting spermz.

Ah yes, Belgian beer. Served by the litre as I recall.

What's not to love about Belgium? They have brilliant chocolate and beer and they all speak English. Why are people so mean about them ?

ries Er, they must've seen you coming because "normal" Belgian beer (e.g., Stella, Maes, Jupiler etc.) is sold by the "pintje" (about 250 ml ?) - other beers are sold in their specific serving glasses e.g., Palm, Duvel, La Chouffe. Have you always looked like an alky? I can talk, last time I went to brussels I face-planted in The Grande Place. At approximately 3pm. :( Oh and people are mean about the Belgians because in deepest, darkest Wallonia they don't speak English or Flemish or even any recognisable German and even my French-French friends find it hard to understand them and they double the bill for the poor British girl living there. :( But as kat says - Belgian chocolate mousse is the best. My ex may've been an enormous pervert who saw where Josef Fritzl was coming from, but he did make a good mousse. They also like their cellars a bit too much.

bitey I ate exactly that on a daily basis whilst diffed - and then I found out that greek yoghurt is on the "banned food" list . I asked my greek friend about it and she howled with laughter.

Alps there is a photo of me in Bruges holding a glass of beer which dwarfs my head.

People laughed at me when I returned from Belgium and said I had enjoyed myself. "It's so boring. Name one famous Belgian apart from TinTin" etc.

Well I can now name two. Justine Henin and Kim Clijsters

Greek yoghurt? Eh?? I've been eating it too, am sure it's not on the banned list.

Waffles, don't forget the delicious belgian waffles with chocolate sauce on.

Waaaaaaafles. Mmmmmmmmm

And Eddy Merckx.

Kim lives "down the road" from me. People who've never heard of famous Belgians perhaps then have never heard of Audrey Hepburn, Estee Lauder, Dries Van Noten, Jacques Brel and Poirot of course. And the Onassis girl lived here for "a very long time" with that awful husband of hers.

Jean-Claude Van Damme - had a terrible life. :(

Do you actually know Kim then? Is she as lovely as she seems? Whenever she is interviewed I want to be her new best friend.

Ah yes, Audrey Hepburn. But I thought she lived in Holland and was half Dutch? She lived through Operation Manna didn't she? Said it messed up her insides for life and that was why she was so skinny. Or did she move to Holland?

Sorry, should say "The Netherlands". It drives me wild when people call the UK England

haha no, I don't know Kim - but she does indeed sound lovely and very "normal". She's actively involved in the lives of her children and lives in the same street as her mum & other relatives. It's all just very "normal" for Belgium. You know, nobody's saying they're not posh houses - but it's not a gated mansion in Beverly Hills!

Yep, Audrey was born in Ixelles/Elsene - a district of Brussels.

There's also the B52's (loveshack) and for some reason I always think Edith Piaf but of course she's French. This is Pink Martini's version of an Edith song - I love it : - in fact it's probably the fucking BESH anthem! I don't want to work, I don't want to eat, I just want to forget - and smoke.

Edith rocks.