Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 13)

[Chloe55]

This is the place to be for all those wanting to TTC after miscarriage, or have plans on TTC in the relatively near future. This thread is full of support from people who have been there and no how you are feeling so jump on board and share the and chocolate (or water and celery for those of you off alcohol and caffeine )

The thread moves fast so bob in and out as you please. Ask any questions that have been niggling you or that you are concerned about, perhaps someone here has experienced the same in the past.

If you want to join the stats, just add yourself to the list:

WTTC = waiting to TTC
UCL = usual cycle length

Good luck to all - here's hoping for lots of healthy, sticky BFPs by the end of the thread

This is the old thread ref:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1135533-Just-MC-and-ready-to-try-again-Pack-your-cake-wine-and-tightie-whities-and-join-us-for-more-ranting-weeping-and-most-of-all-laughing-All-welcome-Part-12

Stats to follow.

meliesmummy please do not blame yourself I think I actually do know the reason for my MC, I got a knock to the stomach whilst childminding (a running headbut ), an immediate scan after at 9 weeks showed there was still a heartbeat but the scan at 12 weeks showed the baby died about 9 weeks which would co-incide with the knock. I could blame myself for putting myself in that situation, I could even blame the 3 year old. But I won't. Forstly because there is nothing I can do about it now and secondly because I couldn't live with the guilt/anger. Unfortunately, it doesn't help knowing why things happen either. But please, never blame yourself.

Forgot to add, this is my second mc and I am bloody petrified I may have to live through this again. So much that it almost stopped me trying for another but worrying it might will not help any of us. It is very hard though and having a mc will take all the fun out of being pg, we will all be destined for 8 months of worry unfortunately.

Thanks for replying, that sounds like a hard time.
I had a cold around the time the baby stopped growing and I was working a few nights close together so felt completely wiped out...I can't help thinking that contributed. I guess I feel if I know then I'll have reassurance/ some kind of treatment plan for next time...I can't cope with the thought of having to go thru this twice more before getting answers.

Mel its perfectly natural to want to know, but I do think Chloe is right - knowing or thinking you know doesn't always help. There are so many reasons why and the doctors can do all the tests in the world and still draw a blank. My first was an ectopic, and I spent weeks reading everything and trying to come up with something I'd done / not done and feeling it was all my fault. My second was a very early MC and they don't know if it was ectopic or not. If it was then I've not much hope as that would have been in the 1 remaining tube. Terrified this time, but I think we all are, even if for different reasons. Sorry, long post, trying to say you're not alone with the feelings you have and wanting to know. In reality all you can do in the end is take a deep breath and try again. We're all here to listen and support you through it as best we can.

Good luck on the clomid lily :)

Cep no idea hun on the CD thing

sorry Maybe its rotten isnt it!

Tokyo good luck at your first day back

oli i've put a question mark on cd for now. just let me know when you do. (although fx af won't appear )

lily i've put you at CD1 was it today she came to visit, let me know if i'm wrong and i'll change try to remember it tomorrow.

mel please please do not blame yourself. firstly a cold will not cause a mc otherwise there would be even more than there already is. secondly i think for the book to say by 8 weeks it wouldn't have been chromasonal (sorry awful speller) problem is too cut and dried for me, she couldn't possibly know what causes every miscarriage at any stage. Unfortunately it is just part of life.

Tuesday's List

Getawiggleon TTC#2, Cycle? UCL28-32 CD31
AandRmum TTC3 cycle 4 UCL29 CD 27
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 6 UCL 30-33, CD26
ZamMummyInGabs TTC#3 cycle 2 postMC#2 UCL26-28, CD25
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 7 UCL 24-30 CD23
Loola2shu TTC#3 Cycle 6 UCL35-38,CD23
Youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 6 UCL33 CD22
Cep TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL24-28 CD18
wellieboots cycle 1, UCL 29 or 30, CD17
Ochaye TTC#3 cycle 1 UCL 31 CD16
MummyAbroad TTC #2, cycle 2 (Post AS Op)) UCL28 CD13
HidingInTheUndergrowth TTC#1, cycle 4 UCL 28 CD9
Collie TTC#1 MC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 40 CD8
MumTumWanted TTC#2, cycle 1, UCL28 CD7
Chloe55 TTC #2, cycle 6 post MC#2 UCLrandom CD6
LILI80 Cycle 1 CD6?
BackOnceAgain TTC#3, Cycle 7 UCL28-32 CD5
oli TTC#2 M/C#1 FEB 2011 UCL 30-31 CD?
lily06 TTC#1 EP Jan 10, MC May 10, UCL 25-? CD1?

WTTC
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 6 UCL 27
Hadrian TTC#1, MC#1 Dec 2010, WTF cycle
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#2
Blackkat#1 MC#1 Jan 2011, UCL WTF
Ninunina WTTC#1 post MC1: Feb 11, WTF UCL 28-35 days
MaybeBaby TTC#1 MC#1
Hils74 TTC#1 MC#1 Jan 2011 WTF cycle
babypops
IfAtFirstUDontSucceed: TTC no1, MC no2, Jan 2011, UCL 28/29 WTF
meliesmummy wtf
tokyotwist TTC#2 MC#1 Feb2011 WTF

MIA
BrownB TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL 24-26

RECENT BFP's
Digitalgirl TTC#2, MC#3 Oct 2010
Emoo TTC#2, Cycle 1 (post MC1) UCL 26-30, 30/1/11
DachshundsRule TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL28 CD31 BFP 25 Jan 2011
Hairytriangle TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL ?28 BFP Jan 2011
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 22 UCL24-9 CD29 BFP 16 Jan 2011
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 5, UCL 28-35 CD29 BFP!!
Lemonsherbert BFP 18 Jan 2011
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 5 (post mc1), UCL 37, CD30 BFP 18 Jan 2011
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 5 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD28
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 3 (post MC) UCL 31
LadyBee TTC#2, cycle 5 (round 3) UCL27 CD27
PrettyQuichey TTC#1, (round 7) UCL 28-30
Lovebeingadaddysgirl TTC#? WTC cycle
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, MC#2, cycle 6 UCL 25-30 CD28 BFP 7/2/2011

A&R have you POAS yet? I see that you are only a couple of days off your UCL

Hello lovelies

melies please don't blame yourself ((hugs)) - i know it's tough not to know why, but the chromosomal thing is probably not a hard and fast rule at 8 weeks. I've been racking my brains about what I did wrong, also had flu over Christmas, and I've come to the conclusion that the more I stress about it the worse it will be, so please don't blame youreslf.

Lili good luck with the smegging (still humming that damn tune!!), FX for you,

Tokyo GL at work tomorrow. Sure all will be ok. x

Lily take the clomid before you go to bed, means the side effects happen when you're asleep! I found I was just bloody hot all the time (and not in a good way!) Take care of yourself on it, you can get v tired. xx

Olismum Good god woman, you will rattle! [grin Just like the rest of us I suppose!!

cep hope the achey sides clear up soon

Have I done this right? Just copied and pasted the stats but have updated mine as I'm on cd8.

Tuesday's list

Getawiggleon TTC#2, Cycle? UCL28-32 CD31
AandRmum TTC3 cycle 4 UCL29 CD 27
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 6 UCL 30-33, CD26
ZamMummyInGabs TTC#3 cycle 2 postMC#2 UCL26-28, CD25
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 7 UCL 24-30 CD23
Loola2shu TTC#3 Cycle 6 UCL35-38,CD23
Youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 6 UCL33 CD22
Cep TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL24-28 CD18
wellieboots cycle 1, UCL 29 or 30, CD17
Ochaye TTC#3 cycle 1 UCL 31 CD16
MummyAbroad TTC #2, cycle 2 (Post AS Op)) UCL28 CD13
HidingInTheUndergrowth TTC#1, cycle 4 UCL 28 CD9
Collie TTC#1 MC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 40 CD8
MumTumWanted TTC#2, cycle 1, UCL28 CD7
Chloe55 TTC #2, cycle 6 post MC#2 UCLrandom CD6
LILI80 TTC #2 Cycle 1 CD8
BackOnceAgain TTC#3, Cycle 7 UCL28-32 CD5
oli TTC#2 M/C#1 FEB 2011 UCL 30-31 CD?
lily06 TTC#1 EP Jan 10, MC May 10, UCL 25-? CD1?

WTTC
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 6 UCL 27
Hadrian TTC#1, MC#1 Dec 2010, WTF cycle
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#2
Blackkat#1 MC#1 Jan 2011, UCL WTF
Ninunina WTTC#1 post MC1: Feb 11, WTF UCL 28-35 days
MaybeBaby TTC#1 MC#1
Hils74 TTC#1 MC#1 Jan 2011 WTF cycle
babypops
IfAtFirstUDontSucceed: TTC no1, MC no2, Jan 2011, UCL 28/29 WTF
meliesmummy wtf
tokyotwist TTC#2 MC#1 Feb2011 WTF

MIA
BrownB TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL 24-26

RECENT BFP's
Digitalgirl TTC#2, MC#3 Oct 2010
Emoo TTC#2, Cycle 1 (post MC1) UCL 26-30, 30/1/11
DachshundsRule TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL28 CD31 BFP 25 Jan 2011
Hairytriangle TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL ?28 BFP Jan 2011
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 22 UCL24-9 CD29 BFP 16 Jan 2011
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 5, UCL 28-35 CD29 BFP!!
Lemonsherbert BFP 18 Jan 2011
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 5 (post mc1), UCL 37, CD30 BFP 18 Jan 2011
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 5 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD28
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 3 (post MC) UCL 31
LadyBee TTC#2, cycle 5 (round 3) UCL27 CD27
PrettyQuichey TTC#1, (round 7) UCL 28-30
Lovebeingadaddysgirl TTC#? WTC cycle
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, MC#2, cycle 6 UCL 25-30 CD28 BFP 7/2/2011

Blackkat glad everyone has been kind to you. It does make things easier.

Melis chloe and lily are right, there is no need to beat yourself up about what you might have done wrong. You have done nothing wrong it's just one of those really sad & unfortunate things. I think it's human nature to want to know why something happened (i know i did). What's helping me at the moment is just visualising that next time there will be a positive outcome (although I know that is easier said then done!)

to everyone. Will pop by later to see how you're all doing!

Will someone please send a large fish in the direction of Botswana?
AF due tomorrow or Thurs (according to new post-MC short cycles) but don't feel its on the way. Have been so useless with temping this month that TCOYF can't tell whether I've ov'd or not. And the SMEG didn't happen this month either.
But today (CD 25) had LOADS of EWCM - WTF??

blackat did not feel i was rattling on?? I just wanted to support everyone and had my 2yr old at my feet

I really felt this was a place of support and to be supported :(

zam a big haddock coming your way.

oli please don't be upset am sure blackkat is only teasing. This is a place to give and rcv support.

ahh oli just read back i think she means rattle as in noise, you were talking about taking all the different tablets, not rattle as in talking.

OH that makes sense! sorry BIG apologies blackkat very sensitive at the moment...

Thanks for all your kind answers. Quick question : what is SMEG and wtf? To add to the list once I've had a bfn test and (maybe) a period we'll be tcc no. 2 following a mmc in feb 11. In an ideal world I'd rather wait for a period but there's no way I'll be getting any condoms - not wasting a drop! I guess we won't be trying but won't be careful either (although that is how my dd came about!). I don't know whether I can face all the planning this time anyway...and the baby I lost was conceived in a month when I never got a strong positive on an ovulation test so I'm not sure I trust them tbh!

Have a good evening all x

mel smeg is a jokey name for the "Sperm Meets Egg Plan" see link is very heavy going, There's no way my dh could do this.
and wtf is "what the f**k" basically the first cycle between m/c and 1st af where noone knows what's going on.

I have never had a positive on an opk ever, i assume my surge is just too short for the times i test.

Not sure about that plan...we did something similar when we started trying last summer but then my dh went and had a sperm analysis done (I went for a scan to check my ovaries bcos I had a few awful periods in a row that I thought were chemical pregs but my gp thought pcos - all was fine tho) and he thought he'd do his bit and he was advised every day is too often, then we caught the month we went for every other day so I think we'll do the same from now on. Plus I work nights so can't plan that methodically! Good luck to anyone trying that way though, you must have lots of energy!!!

Sorry olismum wasn't being rude! Cep's spot on, I meant you'd rattle with all those supplements, just like the rest of us! I'm sure you can hear TTC women rattling towards you in the street!! xx

happy evening all xx

i'm lucky if my dh can cross the finishing line 1 every 4 days. my cycles seem to be different each month so goodness knows if i'm doing it at the right time, unfortunately as my opks are always neg (were before mc as well) i only know if i've ov'd by my temp and by then it's too late.

Once again sorry blackkat so sensitive at the moment i will rattle but zinc really has helped us a lot before so i will persevere!

i am on the SMEG plan i suppose did not realise it was a plan!
I tried ovulation test things never got any positive for ov? i worked out this time past i must have conceived on the 6 but i did test that day and it was not positive??
Its all to technical for me lots of dtd will have to do even though i have a cold :(

o/v sticks not always 100% and can sometimes be mistaken by high LH levels say if you have PCOS. Good luck with your SMEG plan olis and no worries about before, I should've been clearer, we're all sensitive at the moment, my fault!

Have finally convinced DH to take extra vits too so it's not just me on the supplements in our household,

Evening ladies, just popping in before popping out. It's a friend's birthday so off for a take away midweek. Seems like a little treat

xx. to all xx

Hi ladies, well...

Went back to work yesterday and as only two of the girls knew why I'd been off I didn't have to face any awkward questions. It wasn't too bad, none of the bosses were in so there was a nice atmosphere, not so today. I snapped at a couple of the techies and felt really guilty afterwards but just couldn't help it, my fuse has got a lot shorter.

I suppose it'll get easier... :)

I was thinking about getting a plant as a memorial, but I don't know whether this will be too much, I was only 5 weeks and only knew I was pg for a week before the mc. I hadn't bonded etc...

On a brighter note DP bought me a lovely bunch of flowers, and cooked a meal...

Tho he did use every pot and pan in the kitchen!!