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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 13)

929 replies

Chloe55 · 11/02/2011 16:41

This is the place to be for all those wanting to TTC after miscarriage, or have plans on TTC in the relatively near future. This thread is full of support from people who have been there and no how you are feeling so jump on board and share the Wine and chocolate (or water and celery for those of you off alcohol and caffeine Wink)

The thread moves fast so bob in and out as you please. Ask any questions that have been niggling you or that you are concerned about, perhaps someone here has experienced the same in the past.

If you want to join the stats, just add yourself to the list:

WTTC = waiting to TTC
UCL = usual cycle length

Good luck to all - here's hoping for lots of healthy, sticky BFPs by the end of the thread

This is the old thread ref:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1135533-Just-MC-and-ready-to-try-again-Pack-your-cake-wine-and-tightie-whities-and-join-us-for-more-ranting-weeping-and-most-of-all-laughing-All-welcome-Part-12

Stats to follow.

OP posts:
mummyabroad · 12/02/2011 21:33

Hello everybody. I would like to stay on the list a bit longer please. I have asked about starting one up elsewhere because it does seem a bit unfair to stay on if I am not really going to be around, but can you keep me on for now? Ta.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

cep · 12/02/2011 22:02

lili welldone for handling it so well, it is always tough going back. i only told a few people when i went back in. The rest i don't care what they thought of why i was off. but the few people i'd worked with since the beginning i nearly burst into tears telling.

mummya no worries Smile cheers for the muffins.

ninu it's natural if you do. don't be worried about getting upset, it's been such a recent thing. fx for you will be thinking of you.

i think i've had too many Wine tonight, i don't think i've been successful this month anyway so oh well.

cep · 12/02/2011 22:10

collie you changed your nickname on ff, have you paid for vip? i've followed instructions but can't see box to change nickname.

Velvetcu · 13/02/2011 09:00

Ooooh aandr fx for you! I'm gonna try and forget about it now otherwise I'll be wishing the week away and will be more disappointed when af arrives! So take off the suspenders and forget I said anything! Glad you are too fat nix it gives me hope that I might be too someday.

mummya I'm up for having stats in another place so I'll update when I'm on my 'puter instead of phone.

Have a good Sunday all :)

Velvetcu · 13/02/2011 09:01

Poppa posted this on wrong thread haha

Thats what you get for being on phone!!

Helloooo to all here!

olismum23 · 13/02/2011 13:43

Hi all hope your are all well today!

bleeding has slowed right down still getting a very faint line when poas, I suppose it will take a while its only been five days..

Is anyone else experiencing guilt about TTC straight away??

cep · 13/02/2011 14:27

afternoon all.

olis glad that it seems to be finishing for you now. Smile Guilt in what way? i feel anxious, a bit worried that it'll all happen again.

Hope it's quiet today cause everyone is having such a fab sunday.

cep · 13/02/2011 14:37

Sunday's List

Getawiggleon TTC#2, Cycle? UCL28-32 CD29
AandRmum TTC3 cycle 4 UCL29 CD 25
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 6 UCL 30-33, CD24
ZamMummyInGabs TTC#3 cycle 2 postMC#2 UCL26-28, CD23
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 7 UCL 24-30 CD22
Loola2shu TTC#3 Cycle 6 UCL35-38,CD21
Youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 6 UCL33 CD20
Cep TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL24-28 CD16
wellieboots cycle 1, UCL 29 or 30, CD15
Ochaye TTC#3 cycle 1 UCL 31 CD14
MummyAbroad TTC #2, cycle 2 (Post AS Op)) UCL28 CD13
HidingInTheUndergrowth TTC#1, cycle 4 UCL 28 CD7
Collie TTC#1 MC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 40 CD6
MumTumWanted TTC#2, cycle 1, UCL28 CD5
Chloe55 TTC #2, cycle 6 post MC#2 UCLrandom CD4
LILI80 Cycle 1 CD4?
BackOnceAgain TTC#3, Cycle 7 UCL28-32 CD3

WTTC
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 6 UCL 27
Barrenbrook TTC#1, MC#4 Oct 2010
Hadrian TTC#1, MC#1 Dec 2010, WTF cycle
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#2
Blackkat#1 MC#1 Jan 2011, UCL WTF
Ninunina WTTC#1 post MC1: Feb 11, WTF UCL 28-35 days
MaybeBaby TTC#1 MC#1
Hils74 TTC#1 MC#1 Jan 2011 WTF cycle
babypops
oli
IfAtFirstUDontSucceed: TTC no1, MC no2, Jan 2011, UCL 28/29 WTF

MIA
BrownB TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL 24-26

RECENT BFP's
Digitalgirl TTC#2, MC#3 Oct 2010
Emoo TTC#2, Cycle 1 (post MC1) UCL 26-30, 30/1/11
DachshundsRule TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL28 CD31 BFP 25 Jan 2011
Hairytriangle TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL ?28 BFP Jan 2011
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 22 UCL24-9 CD29 BFP 16 Jan 2011
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 5, UCL 28-35 CD29 BFP!!
Lemonsherbert BFP 18 Jan 2011
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 5 (post mc1), UCL 37, CD30 BFP 18 Jan 2011
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 5 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD28
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 3 (post MC) UCL 31
LadyBee TTC#2, cycle 5 (round 3) UCL27 CD27
PrettyQuichey TTC#1, (round 7) UCL 28-30
Lovebeingadaddysgirl TTC#? WTC cycle
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, MC#2, cycle 6 UCL 25-30 CD28 BFP 7/2/2011

RECENT GRADUATES

VivClicquot BFP 25 August
Loopymumsy BFP 29 August
CaribouMoo BFP 7 September
StarflowerGirl BFP 24 Sep
Appleblossoms BFP 9 Oct
Littlemiss72
Urbanlolly BFP 1 Nov
Inbetweener BFP 10 Nov
Owlbooty BFP
Nickstermum BFP

olismum23 · 13/02/2011 15:06

I think I feel guilty because its like I just want to forget about the baby I just lost and move on like it did not matter, I know it does but I worry the universe that is will think I don't care....

BTW totally aware how silly I sound I suppose its just hard to put it words.

For the stats TTC#2 M/C#1 FEB 2011 UCL 30-31

I think I have that rightHmm

cep · 13/02/2011 15:22

Oh oli hon, the "universe" was there to see the tears and pain. You won't ever forget the baby and the universe does know that.
I think the thing is that the whole mc thing is uncontrollable, there's nothing we can do to control it. But the ttc IS something we can control, we can plan dtd down to the very day/time. Don't feel guilty you're just trying to retake control of life. Smile I hope you're ok.

Sunday's List

Getawiggleon TTC#2, Cycle? UCL28-32 CD29
AandRmum TTC3 cycle 4 UCL29 CD 25
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 6 UCL 30-33, CD24
ZamMummyInGabs TTC#3 cycle 2 postMC#2 UCL26-28, CD23
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 7 UCL 24-30 CD22
Loola2shu TTC#3 Cycle 6 UCL35-38,CD21
Youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 6 UCL33 CD20
Cep TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL24-28 CD16
wellieboots cycle 1, UCL 29 or 30, CD15
Ochaye TTC#3 cycle 1 UCL 31 CD14
MummyAbroad TTC #2, cycle 2 (Post AS Op)) UCL28 CD13
HidingInTheUndergrowth TTC#1, cycle 4 UCL 28 CD7
Collie TTC#1 MC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 40 CD6
MumTumWanted TTC#2, cycle 1, UCL28 CD5
Chloe55 TTC #2, cycle 6 post MC#2 UCLrandom CD4
LILI80 Cycle 1 CD4?
BackOnceAgain TTC#3, Cycle 7 UCL28-32 CD3

WTTC
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 6 UCL 27
Barrenbrook TTC#1, MC#4 Oct 2010
Hadrian TTC#1, MC#1 Dec 2010, WTF cycle
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#2
Blackkat#1 MC#1 Jan 2011, UCL WTF
Ninunina WTTC#1 post MC1: Feb 11, WTF UCL 28-35 days
MaybeBaby TTC#1 MC#1
Hils74 TTC#1 MC#1 Jan 2011 WTF cycle
babypops
oli TTC#2 M/C#1 FEB 2011 UCL 30-31
IfAtFirstUDontSucceed: TTC no1, MC no2, Jan 2011, UCL 28/29 WTF

MIA
BrownB TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL 24-26

RECENT BFP's
Digitalgirl TTC#2, MC#3 Oct 2010
Emoo TTC#2, Cycle 1 (post MC1) UCL 26-30, 30/1/11
DachshundsRule TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL28 CD31 BFP 25 Jan 2011
Hairytriangle TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL ?28 BFP Jan 2011
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 22 UCL24-9 CD29 BFP 16 Jan 2011
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 5, UCL 28-35 CD29 BFP!!
Lemonsherbert BFP 18 Jan 2011
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 5 (post mc1), UCL 37, CD30 BFP 18 Jan 2011
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 5 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD28
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 3 (post MC) UCL 31
LadyBee TTC#2, cycle 5 (round 3) UCL27 CD27
PrettyQuichey TTC#1, (round 7) UCL 28-30
Lovebeingadaddysgirl TTC#? WTC cycle
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, MC#2, cycle 6 UCL 25-30 CD28 BFP 7/2/2011

RECENT GRADUATES

VivClicquot BFP 25 August
Loopymumsy BFP 29 August
CaribouMoo BFP 7 September
StarflowerGirl BFP 24 Sep
Appleblossoms BFP 9 Oct
Littlemiss72
Urbanlolly BFP 1 Nov
Inbetweener BFP 10 Nov
Owlbooty BFP
Nickstermum BFP

Collie2 · 13/02/2011 17:37

Hi everyone. I hope you are all enjoying your Sunday afternoon? I?m feeling a little ropey after too much Wine [should have known better emoticon]

I couldn?t find the website I was using for food advice while pg, but it was the food standard agency and it looks like they have been updated with these?.they look useful though and more detailed. Hope they are of use.

www.food.gov.uk/safereating/allergyintol/peanutspregnancy

www.eatwell.gov.uk/asksam/agesandstages/pregnancy/
www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/life02eatingwhenpregnant.pdf

Hi wellie how is oz? Where are you over there. DH (DP then) travelled after uni and spent a couple of months up the east coast. We thought about moving over for a long time and almost did last year?.but then new jobs here kind of put it on hold Smile and Sad

Blackkat the theatre was?.. whats the word?? ?different!! Grin its just a small local theatre, so nothing with a big budget. It was ok, some of the acting was questionable but it was a nice change. Its actually next door but 4 to me and in 5 years we had never been so we thought we should!

Mumtum I know what you mean about wanting a summer baby, I couldn?t believe my luck when I got pg, it was too perfect. My birthday is Nov and have a good friend with a birthday in between Christmas and new year and she hates it. But beggars can?t be choosers I suppose! How are you today?

Hils and Ninu glad you feel ready to TTC already. Understanding your body is hard and I got a bit stressed out trying to figure it out, so if you can, go for lots of SWI without worrying to much about what?s going on in your cycle, as by the end of it I realised that there is just no point. Good luck though x

oils darling you shouldn?t think that just because you want to ttc again means you want to forget your baby. As cep says you will never forget, ever. But you want to be able to bring a healthy baby home, and that?s ok. I think you should be sure you are emotionally ready to ttc though before you do. I know its hard and you desperately want to pg again, but take the time if you need it. I know I was so desperate to be pg, and in a way I think at first maybe I was trying to replace my baby. I remember reading a post on one of the mc threads from a women who wasn?t ready to ttc but her DH was and she described him as trying to ?fix? it, as though she had lost an eating and getting a new one would make it all ok. I think in a way that is what I was doing. I think subconsciously I was struggling to accept that we had lost our baby and thought that if I could get pg straight away, it would be almost as though I never did. It was only when I realised I was doing this, did I properly accept our loss. I?m not saying it?s the same for you, just wanted to share this with you as its ok to have these feelings, but we just sometimes need to recognise we are having them. ((big hugs)) for you x

Chloe OMG your day yesterday sounds stressful!! It sounds like DS will have had a great day though?.I hope so! Your AF sounds hideous, I assume that?s not your normal AF? Is it expected to be so heavy? Sorry the clomid is shit too, lets hope this is the last time you need it!!

Cep I am still on my free trial for FF. I did change my nickname so people would recognize me. Can?t remember how but will log on and let you know. Can?t see it on phone so need to dig out password and log on via laptop. Sorry you think you might have been late, but fx for you.

Sorry if I?ve not replied to everyone, but its moved along really fast and I?m struggling to keep up.

Collie2 · 13/02/2011 17:54

Thought id update whats going on with me too, hope you all don?t mind, its been a funny couple of days.

Went to see my friend and her new baby yesterday. Should have actually gone last week but she?d be unwell so put it off a week. Which I think was a bit of a blessing as I was in a darker place last week and am not sure how well I?d have held it together. As it was, it went ok. She?s beautiful and I didn?t feel any of the jealously and heavy sadness I expected. Just really happy for her which made me really happy.

So that was my up?. But then last night DH and I had a row. Basically were were at a friends and while she popped to the loo I had a quick (literally 2 min) lurk on mn. When she came back she asked if I was on FB and DH shouted out NO, MN. She asked what MN was and he told her. I was mortified and she just didn?t know what to say, and neither did i. When I challenged DH on it when we were in bed he just went off on one and just didn?t understand why I was upset that he had told her. I mean, its personal. Its my escape and my place for support. Its not a joke. And maybe I shouldn?t be embarrassed but I really don?t want my parent friends knowing that their childless friend is a mn?er?.or should I not care??? Is it just me? I just felt like shit. DH felt awful this morning and was really hard on himself so despite being mad I couldn?t not forgive him, but I do feel really let down.

Finished the weekend off by going out to buy a box for all our keepsakes for our baby. A little teddy, a 2 pack of bibs I couldn?t resist when I first found out I was pg, and the scan etc. We tried to light a Chinese lantern a few weeks ago with a copy of the scan and a letter I wrote attached, but it was too windy and didn?t work and then DH went away for work. Now he?s back, I want to do that, to say our goodbyes?if it ever stops raining. Did anyone else do anything similar?

Chloe55 · 13/02/2011 18:21

Arrgghh just wrote a huge reply that I lost before posting!! Angry

Anyway, to start over. Collie I think what you are doing in your baby's memory is lovely. I started making a line of jewellery after the mc which preoccupied my mind and still make bits and pieces for friends on request which I love to do, I named it Precious Angel after our baby.

I also know what you mean about being 'outed' as a MNer. This is my place to secretly vent about my frustrations at friends/family in a rather selfish self-pitying way but I know you all know how I feel and would be mortified if they ever knew how I am really feeling when I smile and tell them how happy I am for them Wink

LILI what an awful day for you at work Sad You did well to get through it, I bet the guy felt awful too, bless him.

olismum it's perfectly natural I imagine to feel guilt although you know in your heart it's not a selfish, awful thing to do, y0ou know you will always remember the baby you lost but life does move on and we have to accept that. I should take my own advice sometimes!

Thanks for the tea mummya will pass on the muffins though as dh has just cooked a sunday lunch and, not like him, it was bloody horrible so now just don't fancy anything!

Izzy if your SMEGGING is up this month then I will be anticipating some good news soon Wink

Cep I am a total thicko when it comes to charting, I am on day 3 of charting myself though so why do you think you are Ov? Is it because you have a couple of days of higher temps?

My AF is often as heavy as this, it isn't the Clomid causing it, prob more likely the PCOS, in fact Clomid is slightly shortening it's length so I guess there is always a silver lining Wink

Been to see Tangled today - what a fab film, I liked it more than ds I think Grin Back to lounging on the sofa again now as starting to go down hill a little bit Sad

Hi to everyone!

OP posts:
cep · 13/02/2011 18:27

hey collie i'm glad that your visit to your friend went so well. I forgot to ask about the theatre trip, what was it about?
Am sorry you argued with dh. My dh keeps saying i'm on here too much, but he doesn't like talking about things so i don't know what else i'm supposed to do. If i try to talk about ttc he says i'm putting the pressure on. Is he feeling a bit left out? does he think you're telling us stuff you don't tell him. mn isn't just for mums anyone can join. It is a safe haven to voice our fears, queries and hopefully joys. Did he explain why he went off on one?

cep · 13/02/2011 18:30

ooh also meant to say that because i passed baby at home during the snow they asked if we wanted to bring it to hosp or do something at home, we didn't want to drive anywhere so we actually buried it in the garden at the foot of our pear tree. It felt nice having a burial as i'd refused to see the scan, especially as we saw the actual baby in sac.

cep · 13/02/2011 18:40

chloe are you on fertility friend? they reckon if you've had 3 raised temps in a row that the day before was when you ov'd. now i had 2 raised temps but then it dipped (day 12) and has now gone up again 2 days same temp over 97. so if tomorrow is high then it'l' mar my oving as on 14th. (does that make sense?)

Chloe55 · 13/02/2011 18:47

It does but I guess you don't know when you ovulate then til you have?

OP posts:
cep · 13/02/2011 18:53

with the temps yes, sometimes you can have a dip before, but not everyone does, and until you know your cycles you don't know if you are. The idea is that you may become to know your cycles and recognise points. I see your ucl is random a bit like mine, i always said 24-28 since coming off the pill dec 09 but last month was 22 so that's been thrown into the mix now. I didn't start temping until too late last cycle, and this cycle i noticed 2 dips obviously untill another cycle or 2 have gone past if it's a regular clue or not.

cep · 13/02/2011 18:54

*i won't know if it's a regular etc etc

cep · 13/02/2011 18:56

The only thing is i've had a 2/3 days intermittantly (spelt correct??) of ovary pains over the last week and today is pretty strong seems a bit weird to be getting them now if i've ov'd already.

Blackkat · 13/02/2011 18:57

Hope you are all ok today? S'been quiet!

cep thank you for taking charge of the list - it looks like a task that can go very easily wrong! I'm worried I'd bugger it up FX for o/v tomorrow! Smile

Chloe sounds like your weekend has been packed - sorry to hear it's on a bit of a down hill though Sad AF sounds awful

Collie what you've done sounds lovely. Our baby has the teddy I'd promised myself I'd buy for him when he was born (convinced he was a him - don't know why.) Bcs he was "delivered" in hosp we have a cremation service next week, which I want to go bcs I think it will help but DH doesn't. HMM...

Totally agree about MN too, sometimes I feel like a bit of a fraud being here without nippers, but then this thread and all of you have kept me sane! So I try not to feel weird about it.

Olismum totally understand your feelings, but agree with cep you will never forget the baby you lost, and no other baby will ever replace them. Take it easy on yourself, your hormones will still be very up and down, undoubtedly affecting your emotions. ((big hugs))

Looks around for mouse and hopes she is doing ok?

MumTumWanted · 13/02/2011 19:55

hi to all, just a quick dip in whilst OH is in the shower, had a busy sundey round at my parents... my brother and his wife and 3 year old neice, was nice just feeling part of a big family again but i know they are TTc too , dont want it to feel like a race so have maintained the line of bit to early for us to TTc yet, even though i want nothing more...

as for being ousted as a Mner i too am the same.... not quilt a gulity pleasure more as a guilty necessary to get some advice and empathy from like minded souls, though my OH seems to get frustrated if im on it for too long too... guess they just dont get it ? Confused

the stairs are creaking he must be out of the shower so im off... goodluck to any SWI tonight x x xWink

cep · 13/02/2011 19:58

Grin at image of mumtum in cupboard understairs/broom cupboard.

mousebacon · 13/02/2011 20:19

Hi ladies, lovely new thread. Good luck to all you 'oldies' moving on. I hope your bfps are just around the corner.

Thanks for looking out for me blackkat it's been an up and down week with work and I've found it hard seeing friends/family who don't know. My sister knew about mc#1 but I didn't tell her about being pg again so it's strange not talking about going through it all again with her.

How's everyone else? Special welcome to my pal ifat from charters. Hope you get your bfp soon Smile

Anyone seen choccy around?

Right, better get back to the mountain of marking surrounding me or I really will get sacked! Roll on half term! xx

cep · 13/02/2011 20:39

Hey mouse glad to see you're ok. Does anyone in rl know about mc? Haven't seen choccy for a while, or biscuit/nat.

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