Mid-30s BESH Ski Hut: Hot toddies & mounties. Fur knickers optional.

[AlpinePony]

I declare this Ski Season open!

I want to be a midwife Kat. Fancy it? :o

I think you're all remarkably strange brave to watch that programme. I think I'd either be cowering with my legs tightly crossed or blubbering in the corner at the injustice of it all. Instead I watched Toy Story 3 and am now off to bed to read the latest book on my kindle

L8rs biatchez

L8ers pot8ers :o

First day blues. Doubly sad as was hoping to tell my colleagues about being pregnant when I got back from Canada... Funnily enough I didn't watch OBEM.

Milano - very happy to hear the wall climbing was unnecessary.

Sunshiney - am sure it'll be fine. Can you take notes? Am going to force my way into a fertility clinic myself should I fail to conceive within 6 months...

And - just a quick thanks to you all BESH's. Absolutely none of my friends are in this place right now. The ones who want babies seem to fall pregnant shortly after sneezing, and the others look at me slightly confused-like when I try to tell them what I'm going through. You're all the best.

No boo I do not fancy it thanks!! Apparently people do pooing and sometimes sicking and all sorts of yucking in that state. Not for me thank you!

sunshine During our consultation with a 12 year old gynaecologist we were asked if we were having sex. If we were using contraception. Did we put the penis inside the vagina. Did he ejaculate inside the vagina. Had either of us been sterilised. I fear for the reasons they need to ask such questions...

She then asked me to get undressed, I got all flustered and confused and came out of the changing room naked but for my bra. They both pissed themselves laughing although being a professional she tried to contain her mirth and explained that she only wanted me to take my knickers off. I then got dildocammed. JB got his cock inspected and when he pulled back his foreskin - the piece de resistance? A dog hair. Which explains so much wrt our infertility. :(

Yes, it's a delightful day out at the hospital.

There are two ESH fb groups that I know of - BESH for the undiffed and PESH for the differs - so as not to post insensitive information. I'm not on BESH kat but I'm sure medee can lead you there, I know she checks in here and can I'm sure point you in the right direction.

I think VB's pregnancy indicates that ICSI/IVF will work on anyone eventually if you throw enough sperm at it. I can't believe for a milisecond that she's able to conceive naturally between the (not) eating and the drinking.

Aries I'm sure you are the epitome of cool and collected and you're not taking photos of your boobs to compare on a daily basis.

boo Back-flipping in skis is very showy (very Benny Reich!) - I don't do any tricks like that in case I fall on my arse and show myself up. Because that always happens. I bear the scar to this day of when I was asked to demonstrate some show-jumping to a group of children and I fell dramatically at the first fence. My horse did not, but I did - face first in to it. Bah.

Btw, pls to say - skiing is an excellent sport for tubbies, gravity is your friend, you wrap up in layers rather than showing off your body, you're reliant on nobody else - and Alberto Tombo (a rather sexy Italian man) won the world cup when he was over 15 stone. And you have to see the size of the arses on the women's circuit to believe them. Anya Paerson - I salute you! wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2007/02/15/image2483892.jpg There's not a woman on that circuit would come in at under 11 stone!

SunnyD I'd like to point out before your husband shits himself that he has never ever in our 20 months of going to a fertility clinic had his cock inspected.

First visit it's a good idea to take some pen and paper with you so you can write down timescales, and so on, and make sure you clarify who is ringing who..ie.

Day 3 and 21 blood tests - where do you go for these, and where/when do you get results.

Jizz test - how long does he need to abstain for, where do you deposit sample (can ofetn be done at home and driven to clinic with the hour) and where/when do you get results.

You might get dildocam to check follicles/womb lining. No probs - it's like a wand with a condom on and they scan you with it. Try to follow what sizes/measurements they are saying as it's good to check up on how you are doing.

They might ask you to get other blood work done (thyroid test, chlamydia, and so on). You may need a HSG exam (Inserting dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes). You usually need to tell the clinic or radiology dept. on CD1 and they will arrange a day t come in. You should do a preg test and abstain until after your HSG as you must not be pregnant before doing it.

I also had some other tests like checking sperm motility in mucus and swabs for Chlamydia but these seem to be rarer. Good luck!

BrownB sorry you are feeling so rough, don't underestimate how long it takes to get over it. After my M/C I was still having very emotional crying/rage fits a few months afterwards, and I still feel sadness and loss surrounding it, and it was nearly a year ago now.

Oooo I killed fred!

TFITuesday!!!
mamaMontreal couldn't get on to check yesterday, as my dad was sat next to me on the sofa and looking at my lap top at ALL TIMES, but am so chuffed for you that all's well. Sadly like many other BESH am all to familiar with epic pregnancy paranoia, so pleased to see that this is a safe place to share, when I am next diffed I will be absolutely nervous breaking down left right and centre, so don't worry. (does no one know who Marco Leonardi is? Cinema Paradiso? Like Water for chocolate? <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=img.yaboon.com/person/1266.jpg&imgrefurl=yaboon.com/person/1266/Marco%2520Leonardi&usg=__Mddyx3fFWm3nO8xAnBTvgXo_CJc=&h=399&w=276&sz=22&hl=en&start=54&zoom=1&tbnid=SLbhGffOXN0DvM:&tbnh=155&tbnw=112&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmarco%2Bleonardi%2Bcinema%2Bparadiso%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4SKPB_enGB353GB353%26biw%3D1003%26bih%3D489%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=183&ei=-p8sTdy8H4ebhQe66NirCQ&oei=1Z8sTeiOEoW6hAf5nrmECg&esq=6&page=6&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:54&tx=77&ty=44so" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">perty swoon

Father's presence also made me switch off OBEM,(though did watch Kate/Bob Blackadder episode, so he was forgiven) but did see Episodes- we're thinking maybe its a grower- and there was a bit too much snogging.

brownbear fish slaps and nipple twists for yesterday, there's still some room in the hot tub for you and that mountie you bought back with you, let me just move arigorn (that would will be your celebrity name mash up when you get together) out the way..

tell me about the BESH t'other place group

hi all else

Hello lovelies.

We had a meeting today at work. Basically anyone who is at risk of redundancy but is already diffed is guaranteed mat leave and a job to come back to, as long as they got pregnant before the consulatation period, which officially started on the 10th Jan. As my period started on the 8th then technically that would be true. This means I have to get diffed this month - get to keep a job (even if it's not the one I'm doing), and get maternity pay. No pressure then :o

Hairstrokes BrownB glad you got through your first day.

One day I will go skiing mylovelyhorse but only on the nursery slopes methinks :)

Evening Beautiful, Eccentric, Sensual, Harridans.

BeautifulPrincessWoo

Thats crap news, better get shagging.

suunyd have you had your appointment yet? How'd it go?

Droid due on Friday. Sooo tired and a big fat headache which usually means I am 3 days off droid. naggy period pains today too. Pretty sure POAS will not be necassary this month.

Bloody hell Boo not too much to ask for then! I'm at the stage when I'm ready to move jobs and was hoping we could move during mat leave as that would make it much easier to find a new job and relocate, rather than trying to time BFP / new job etc. As it is taking a million years, I have started interviewing for jobs and if I get offered something we'll just have to put the TTC on hold for a few months. I couldn't get pg just after starting a new job (hark at me, as if it's that easy) so the next few months will be interesting!

Barbarella pliz to come and let us know how you got on today? Was sending 'lucky dildocam' vibes your way.

TGB is out at the football with his brother so I am MNing, eating pizza, browsing new houses on the tinterweb (am clearly looking at homes that would be suitable for a family, ever the optimist) and generally doing waste of time things that would probably annoy him if he were at home. I love nights like this!

Oh good, Blues have just scored so he might not be a grump when he gets back.

BESHers you all rock. I feel much more prepared for The Appointment now thank you Although Alps WTF - can't believe the naked story. Fuckers.

Quaver it is next week. I like to be prepared

In menkul news my boobs are killing and I'm only 6 DPO. And I had droid pains today. If the fecker gets me even earlier than usual I will be . Meh.

BrownB sorry your day was shite - here's to better days that are yet to come.

boo, tis ok, I've made a pact with someone, (didn't give a name, but had a very warm aura, and although I enjoyed meeting him, felt a little souless afterwards) and we will both win this month. It has been decreed. Just relax, it'll happen

ski was it by any chance a dutch clinic that made JB get his todger out? What is it with cloggys and nudity? sunnyd can I also vouch for fact that BBB's stayed safely enclothed during our appt- though we didn't make it to second, so maybe they were saving it for then?

I want salad to come over here, as I have brilliant solution for her designer babygro company. And I want 30% of the company for my input. (and I also want to brag about meeting kickass, and am too shy to do it in the deli)

truffle* may I have some of your pizza? I can't have any in real life cos I'm being so good (lost 6lb last week, go me) but yours'll do fine

oooh starnose Can't be having any of that, my husband is Catholic (albeit a rubbish one :o). OTOH - Did he look like Brad Pitt or Jack Nicholson? I could be persuaded to change my mind...
Congrats on the weight loss, well done you,

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCKET! COOOOOOOOOME HEEEEERE!

don't you mean ? It's ok, I'm Catholic too- (christened and educated, which gives you special protection against imaginary evil fairies ) Am quite partial to Al Pacino as the forked one too- although he'd be far too short. Did Christian Slater ever do him? Or am I just thinking that he was pretty twisted in Heathers?

Good work on the weight loss MoleFacedStar am sure that takes far more dedication than I have at my disposal!

We'll have no soul selling thanks muchly, surely prayingto the baybee Jebus is what we do to win us our BOCs. I'll lead us all in a lovely campfire song, as approved by the girl Guides, which is after all, a Chrisian movement. So come on, altogether now - cumbya my Lord, cumbya ........

Well done star. I have most certainly not lost any weight since the Christmas period. And all the folk at work have decided that work is the ideal place for them to bring in all their un-eaten chocolate and other Christmas goodies. Yesterday was my Canadian goodies, today was white chocolate toblerone and mini bounty bars, tomorrow is Christmas cake I think. Thanks for the hair strokes, sneaky hugs and nipple tweaks. Today was slightly better. After I ate almost all some of the white toblerone.

And BB I was also wondering how the egg situation was coming along?

Night y'all. I'm going to get the mountie to give me a massage!!

starnose Given they asked us if we'd been sterilised, I can only assume the meat & veg inspection was to make sure he had both and that his foreskin wasn't covering his pogering stick like a Scottish Widow's cape. Or that he had fake bollocks or a pump or something. Or maybe she just wanted to look at his willy - because she was only 12 I doubt she'd seen many before.

Boo Oh goody, no pressure at all then!

I might have to postpone reading Ski's posts until I get home as I nearly spat tea on my keyboard then. Did she get a ruler out a la Adrian Mole and write it's length on a "Thing Measurements" wall chart?

Boobs that is a mighty lot of pressure there. Just shag as much as you can, there's not much more you can do really. Yikes.

Condylura cristata well done on the weight loss! 6lbs in a week is immense.

Thanks for the egg update news - I didn't want to keep harping on about them! Looks like I am back in the running with two eggs hopefully, another dildocam today (4th in a week) and possibly doing the IUI on Friday. Can I just take a moment to say how great the NHS nurses are? Mine has been really patient and is focussed to getting the best possible result even though it has created more work for them all. I know the NHS fertility business takes a while to get going and isn't perfect, but the treatment I've had this time couldn't be better. Knee length socks today, for the sonographers delight.

oh good eggy news BB very glad! fingers crossed its all go with the turkey basters on friday. Do harp on please, I loves a bit of ethereal harp music i does. (imagines harpist in back ground while BB is getting dildocammed in stripey long socks)

good skills on the weight lose there molesworth what is this miraculous babygro solution you have for me? score is already extorting 30% out of me so I can only offer you 5% and half a toblerone.

boo i am ever so sorry about the work news but hope you get in under the wire.

I am knackered, been awake since 4 but a man is coming to fix guttering (hopefully) in half an hour so must.... stay.... awake.....

lose loss, sorry I blame the fatigue.

I also nearly spat tea onto keyboard - could not reply whilst in work time yesterday as kept snorting every time I re-read it.

pogering stick??? Pony you scare me.

Hoorah for the 4th dildocam BB ! Also fingers crossed for the turkey baster on Friday (which, I suspect, is even better than dildocam)

Sunny hope the clinic appt goes well - glad this lot haven't terrified you :)

BrownB white toberlone you say? I have not encountered this beauteous invention yet

I am hoping ski's pogering stick is a typo, but what for? Rogering stick? Pogo-ing stick? Yikes!

Morning BESHes! Hope dildo cam gives you the chequered flag for Friday BB. Are your knee high socks navy by any chance? Just wondering.....

Yesterday was obviously a day for shit work news boo, I got told my job is definitely finito from May yesterday. I was so cross with bosses expecting me to feel sorry for them (they are not losing their jobs) that I went straight round to see another professor, shat on for an hour about how 'mazin I am and have job interview with her in two weeks. Hopefully she will not notice I will then be 14 weeks diffed! Anyway, I think this business of being stressed not helping conception is a flawed myth as otherwise how would so many women find themselves diffed when already in a pickle? I think stress only impacts if you are too stressed and miserable to actually do the sechs. I am not a doctor, but am very emphatic which makes it true!

truff in Wales we say Cum by yer, which is little more directive whan accompanied by lewd gestures.

To poger - is the Glaswegian verb for the sechs. Prounced Po(as in tinky winky, lala and dipsy)-ger. IHTH.

BB - very exciting about your eggs!

bitey I wondered that too, when I got pregnant it was a horrendously stressful week. I didn't think we had a hope in hell because we'd both been so wired we'd not actually pogered for 2 weeks! I thought I'd missed OV. I was also living on petrol station food at the time of conception. So maybe it really is as simple as stress makes him soft?