Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Mid-30s BESH Ski Hut: Hot toddies & mounties. Fur knickers optional.

1000 replies

AlpinePony · 23/12/2010 16:23

I declare this Ski Season open!

OP posts:
AlpinePony · 08/01/2011 06:50

cheezywotsits For the love of God please don't purchase anything from the Beth Ditto collection unless you want to look like a geometric pattern adored bus! ShockGrin

sunshine Wedding dress lady was a new type of rude! Shock

All these eggs in the norning jokes not so funny anymore. YES PLEASE FERTILISED!

Rie's hair is purdy!

Who was it who made the joke about black V-necks?

OP posts:
kat2504 · 08/01/2011 08:35

Barbie top news on the eggies! Have fingers crossed for them!
boo thanks for bringing aragorn along, he and I have enjoyed a top night in the hot tub! mmm had forgotten about him!

rocketleaf · 08/01/2011 09:19

Yey for eggypoos!!!! That is brilliant news bb

Ivegotmrbitey · 08/01/2011 09:40

Me skihorse and was no joke, Trinny and Susannah may be deeply annoying but they were bang on the money on the "plunging neckline to distract from broad shoulders and large norkage front"! Just wished they had offered more ideas as I think people thought I had just the one jumper!

Happy new year milano! I also has something dirty in common with Harrison, but young Harrison, not the one from the crystal skull. My dirty thing is not trowel related though.... < lavacious leer>

a girl eh boo? Would that also account for the acne and eczema combo my fizzog is currently sporting?

owlbooty · 08/01/2011 10:09

Ooooh, can I have Viggo when you're done with him?

Shiney I'd have told her to feck the feck off. I should warn you that despite my current state, the B cups are still pathetic B cups and excessively disappointing. Bitey I believe you got the uber-norks and thus I am claiming that as payment for the barfing you're doing on my behalf Grin

I still have upper arm paranoia after foolishly watching Trinny and Susannah once. Bah.

Rie How's the new barnet looking now you have slept on it? Grin

owlbooty · 08/01/2011 10:10

Happy New Year, lovely :)

Ariesgirl · 08/01/2011 10:17

Owl I know I'm always bagsying men and not letting others have a go, but I will happily relinquish Lucas, Mitchell, Harrison, Cap'n Sparrow, all the swarthy slaves in the world for just one go on Viggo. Pref with the black hair and beard and cloak and broadsword and passion of Aragorn. Hell, I mean Aragorn not Viggo.

PrincessBoo · 08/01/2011 10:39

Only one thing for it. Massive Lord of the Rings love in. I am going to be Arwen :o

Bitey Yes girl, definitely. You do know that I have a rubbish history at this though don't you? I get it wrong 9 times out of ten. But you never know...

AlpinePony · 08/01/2011 11:26

Pls no to LOTR? :( First of all I did a "boy's course" at uni so it was all the fuckers ever quacked on about for 4 years. That and doom. Meh. But pls, tried to watch it one lonely xmas day - for the scenery if nothing else but it was the gayest thing I'd ever seen (outside Bend Over Boyfriend) - Foppy haired one? Orlando? Skipping over some fecking rocks with long blond ringlets/plaits and probably wearing a pink tut for all I can recall.

(Not a fan!)

bitey Yep, they work but can be dull. I like red blue and green but I do have a lot of black v-necks. :( Have just returned from sales bearing "anthracite" sensible trousers, red, white & black spaghetti strap vests. No black v-neck, although did get black ski jacket. Wink

Funnily enough I've never given two hoots about my flabby arms - why worry about arms when you've an arse which could absorb radiation such is its density?

A friend has just had a boob reduction, gone from an E cup to a B cup. Why I hear you ask? Well, very strange mother-daughter relationship. Mum & dad split up when she was 6 and she's had the last 20+ years "men are good for nothing, they're all bastards, they'll always leave you". As a result my friend has no self-confidence around men, expects the worst and hides her body. Confused

OP posts:
rocketleaf · 08/01/2011 11:35

Your poor friend pony :( did I mention my mum is getting a tummy tuck in a few weeks time? I was a bit WTF at first but now think whatever makes her happy.

Must admit the last half an hour to an hour of LOTR is a totally unnecessary gay love in. The 2nd film on is the best, (as with all trilogies) no need to set scene so straight into the action and no need for boring loose end tie ups. Just plenty of action and ENTS!! (sorry geek fest here)

Just tried to dowse for flava of sprout, then read it doesn't work if you do it on yourself. oh well.

AlpinePony · 08/01/2011 11:55

I had a tummy tuck because I thought no man would ever want me if I didn't... jb saw me naked for the first time when I had 89 metal staples across my abdomen. My c-section was a piece of piss compared to the tt. :( Not to scare your mum at all but mine went horribly wrong and I needed blood transfusions and my BP fell off the scale. They didn't think I'd make it. Oh and then when I was finally let out of hospital I got giant seromas (fluid filled balloons) under the wounds of over a litre in size which made me look 8 month's pregnant. I also had to have a scan 6 months on because they suspected I was laying down bone tissue. Brilliant stuff! Confused

I do agree with the Viggo love-in though.

OP posts:
rocketleaf · 08/01/2011 12:07

oh crap thanks for that pony :S she doesnt seem to think its a major deal and is planning on going on holiday with my sister and kids (and pos myself) about 4 weeks after. I am burying my head in sand regarding this.

AlpinePony · 08/01/2011 12:15

I had it done on the Tuesday and was planning to go on holiday the following monday - I figured as it was a holiday all I'd do was lie down. I totally had my head in the sand about the severity of it all and obviously I had to cancel. I nearly passed out the first time I saw the wound because it was so "wrong" to see something like that on your own body. :( I couldn't stand up straight for a couple of weeks. I went back to work after 3 weeks, but shouldn't have. It was nearly 3 months before I could ride my horse again. :( My surgeon told me that such surgery is not "plastic", it is reconstructive and hence much heavier than people give it credit for.

OP posts:
rocketleaf · 08/01/2011 12:26

Yes i really think the surgery have played it down, although I think she knows the surgeon personally so I am a bit surprised. IMO it is the same with all PS they just want you to pay the money so they aren't going to scare you, also IMO any unnecessary surgery should be avoided at all costs. But she is a grown woman and she thinks it will make her happy so what can I say? Seriously my family is beyond fucked up at the moment.

Ariesgirl · 08/01/2011 13:43

Fuck Alps that sounds very scary indeed :( Hope it didn't take you too long to recover. How long ago was it?

LOTR is the gayest thing ever made. The machoest person in it - obv apart from Viggo and King Theodan of Rohan and Been Shorn - is Sir Ian. Nuff said. All that simpering Frodo and Sam do at each other - you just want to shout "Oh for fuck's sake, just shag!" But Aragorn is simply the most perfect man ever (apart from his unnecessary singing at the end of RoTK)

owlbooty · 08/01/2011 15:05

Yes. Me and my brother spent the whole of the last LOTR film going 'oooh, Mr Frodo, touch my bottom' and collapsing into giggles because we are childish (and were getting hysterical after about the 3rd hour of it).

I'd forgotten about the singing. Rie you can have him Grin

kat2504 · 08/01/2011 16:27

I had sex last night. Do you think I'm pregnant?!
Think there should be a ban on those threads, they wind me up!
Well I reckon I will be conceiving baby aragorn. I intend to mentally shag him all month long.
Having a nice chilled weekend, made some decent plans for the future last night with the boyfriend about work and living arrangements, even if I don't get diffed soon. Quite relieved to actually have a plan for the next months apart from ttc.

rie what a nighmare op experience. I think now that cosmetic surgery seems to be considered more normal and all the slebs are at it, people may underestimate the risks. Did you make a full recovery from it?

kat2504 · 08/01/2011 16:31

Sorry can't read! Meant alps

rie aragorn is giving me a night off tonight so I can send him your way. Orlando is coming round mine instead, but definitely not with the awful blond legolas get up. I need aragorn back next weds and Friday as expect to be ready to conceive little viggo then.

PrincessBoo · 08/01/2011 18:44

I would just like to remind you BESHes who suppied Viggo in the first place...

starnosemole · 08/01/2011 18:44

Where did my post go? I wrote on here last night, as requested; an in depth review of The King's Speech, followed by an articulate, hilarious passage on the fact that Being Human is coming back on, and could you all please vacate the hot tub as Mitchell and I would be getting busy for the foreseeable future. And it's not here. Confused
I love Mitchell.

Imagine him and Aragon in the same room

Ariesgirl · 08/01/2011 18:51

A Mitchell, me and Aragorn sandwich

I am filled with Teh Rage. I fear this may be a stealthy approach of the droid, though it's not due for at least a week. Boobs that is, as they say in Glee (recent convert) A Bunch of Suck .

I am also deeply upset because the hair now looks stupid and the stupid hairdresser ignored my specific instructions to cut the most underneath bits shorter than the rest given that they don't curl and the rest does and now have stupid long bits of hair poking out the bottom and it's all stupid

starnosemole · 08/01/2011 18:53

Boo baahhh humbug Sad evil evil droid.

Here Look, Aragorn is arriving over the mountain, saddled on his huge white steed; he'll be all tired, hot and sweaty, and will definitely need a rub down. And so will Aragorn (badumtish)
I will take Mitchell somewhere else for the night and you can have the place all to yourself

starnosemole · 08/01/2011 18:55

Thinks perhaps Boo should let aredhead in the tub too. Here, have Mitchell DON'T BREAK HIM

Ariesgirl · 08/01/2011 19:01

Thanks

Do you think you can ask someone for a divorce because of the way they cough?

starnosemole · 08/01/2011 19:14

Yup.
Do you think sneezing unneccessarily loudly should be a criminal offence?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread