Whisky-drinking Silk-cut smoking foul-mouthed 30-something hitherto unsuccessful TTCer seeks like-minded companions. Babydusters need not apply.

[BlooferLady]

Now then you lot. I've got a 40 pack of menthol fags from my mate that just got back from Croatia, a slightly dusty bottle of Bison Grass vodka I'm not sure what to do with, and a carrier bag full of cheap eBay pregnancy tests.

Obviously it's a bit lonely in here at the moment so I'd be glad to see anyone, but please be assured that given I've been pissing on my own fingers trying to aim it onto the bloody eBay tests for a year now to no avail, those in the first month of trying for their fourth child might be met with a) a stony stare followed by b) convulsive bouts of weeping .

Disclaimer: you don't actually need to be a smoker. I'm not some kind of maniac.

look up look up look up!

Aaw - congratulations FA! It had to happen on here eventually. I'm pleased (and a teeny bit jealous) - I hope all goes swimmingly for the next 8 and a half months!

Folic!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I knew it! Honestly, I had a really good feeling about you this month. Oh, I'm so so happy for you. I don't know what the weather is like where you are, or indeed where you are, but it's glorious sunshine here and I'm sure it's just for you.

Ok, I've had a little (happy) cry and now I'm going to break all the rules and be really soppy.

In the last few weird, emotional, difficult weeks you all, but somehow especially Folic (who I think was first to answer my first post) have done more for me than you could possibly know. While my friends and family have struggled to know what to say, you strangers have got it right every time. Thank you.

I'm certain that this will be the beginning of much better luck for this thread and you'll soon all be announcing your positives.

I know we talked before about what to do when the first person gets pregnant and I wanted to say Folic please don't disappear. x

Ok, there's lots of other stuff going on I know, but I think I'll have to come back later and have a proper read through before I reply, except to say Tante good long posts, good frank talking and good decision to start treatment. I'm quite controlling and a lot of what you said really resonants with me. Anyway, I'll be back on Clomid when my period starts, so we can be clomid buddies.

ps have you done a ClearBlue digital yet and savoured the "pregnant" moment?

pps the ps was for Folic. Obviously. Oh, I'm all giddy with the good news.

Thanks so much Sherry and O-before-E Phoebe

This thread has been a total gin and tonic for me too. I don't want to leave so if you'll have me I'd like to stay, and as you know anything can happen so be good to be amongst virtual friends.

It's still very early days, so I'm trying not to be too excited. It's gorgeous day here today, and I'm about to go out and have lunch with best pals. Will be hard not to say owt, but defo won't. You guys and OH are the only ones who know

I have PO5fiveS now, and the last one was clearblue so got the 'Pregnant'. Keep looking at it. < saddo emoticon>

folic!!!!
Oh my god!!!!!!
Am so delighted for you! Can't believe it!

I am soooo chuffed for you!
I cannot beieve I acually have tears in my eyes about someone I have never met, but it just goes to show how great this thread is!

Don't you dare go anywhere, folic, we need to carry you in your throne around the boards, chanting. You are our new goddess of fertility who shall bring us luck!

Phoebe I would love a clomid buddy

Wooooooo! So excited!
Tell us how you let your OH know, etc. We want details!
xxxxx

And loopy, interesting to read about your experiences with alcohol, etc. I have been debating our drinking culture a lot with my friends this week, sometimes very uncomfortable. But nothing wrong with the odd little , eh?

OMG!!!!!!!! FOLIC!!!!!

I must have been bla, bla, bla while you were trying to share your FABULOUS news!!! That's wonderful news!!!! WELL DONE YOU!

Right, lets crack open the Champers!!!! (POP! Cork whizzing through the air, bubbles all over the place....) "Cheers all!"

And folic you MUST stay with us please :)

A or five, six, seven is never a bad thing Tante and I do get smashed on occasion What I was trying to say in my stupid, round-a-bout way is whether you drink loads every night or just a tipple or two at the week-end, it's going to bloody hard for us to give it up... (damn those pesky kids! )

Again - Congratulations Folic x

Am in such a good mood today, thanks folic!

Loopy, nah, I totally got what you were saying, don't worry. After never having to give it a second thought in my life before, I now have ths horrible new relationship with booze as the enemy and realise just how much of my socialising revolves around it.

Quick straw poll of friends tells me I am not alone as throughout our twenties we built most of our social events around the accompaniment of alcohol, which has left us with ingrained traditions in our 30s. It matters now when people are ttc or pg - strange for all.

In our extended group of friends we all instantly know when someone is ttc or pg, literally because they don't drink OR they only have one. This has led me to have a drink on purpose so that people dont think I'm pg or ttc

Have had an entirely boring booze free w/end. DH and I had a shaggers' night in last night and left the wine on the shelf

loopy I actually think it is harder to give up when you actually like good . We went to a fancy nancy French restaurant recently with 2 friends for a civilised dinner and I had planned not to drink. But ffs I am not going to drink the piss in our after-work local boozer and then turn down the wine a sommelier had chosen to complement our meal!

Right, am going to stop talking about booze now

Wow folic, just remembered again!

FOLIC - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

I'm really happy for you (of cource bloody jealous as well - but that doesn't take away from all the positive feelings that go your way! :-))

And yes - you have to stay here!!! You are our fertility goddess, a light in teh TTC tunnel!!!

That's great news!!!!!

PS. Super busy today - wil be back to share m drinking stories :-)

Just trying to work out how much a regular manicure will cost now I'm a seven limbed fertility goddess

Still coming down to earth now. Thanks Tante, Loops and Chocs Who'd thunk it eh.

Well the story goes thus:

The spotting didn't really come to anything, but still determined not to test. But last night, stayed in, and found myself testing before settling down to watch a DVD. An internet cheapy. It was negative.

Film ended went upstairs to throw away test and there was a faint line. Cue lots of squinting under various lamps and under spot lights. Did the whole it must be an evaporation line chat with self.

Came downstairs waving tiny test and asking OH to see if he could see a line. He's spluttering a bit as didn't know I was testing, I was giving it calm down I'm not going to be, I just did a test, you know.

Cue more squinting. He confirmed there was a line. I went back upstairs and peed again with a supermarket test and a cross came up straight away. Not very very strong though.

Came downstairs again, asked OH to tell me what shape he could see in the round window -yes I know-all very playskool. He said a cross. Cue bit of disbelief and tight hugs.

But I was all a bit oh I don't know, not really believeing it as it was late at night. So tried to get to sleep and plan was to do a test with first pee of the day.

6 hours later, up with first pee of the day on two ebay cheapies. Negative. Then after ages faint line.

OH went out to get a clearblue when shops opened. Peed again on clearblue. Sat on sofa looking at egg timer for about an hour 3 minutes and then it came up. Pregnant 1-2 weeks.

So I'm only 4 weeks gone by doctor's calcs and due early Nov. Ridic early, so I know that anything can happen, and does happen. I'm not ready to get crushed so trying not to lose it.

Did go into NEXT today though and walked round the baby section. Felt good not to be picking out an outfit for someone else's baby. Didn't buy owt though of course. That would be tempting way too much fate.

So that's me, us, it

The drinking thing is a tricky one in general I think. We've grown up with drinking being such a social thing, that it is a struggle not to surround all events and social occasions around it. I'm Scottish and we seem to have very 'You'll take a drink, go on' mentality in our culture. But I'm as guilty of that as the next person.

by a doctor's calcs...I clearly haven't been at the docs today!

Trying not to lose it as in trying not to get too wrapped up in it all, not trying not to lose it.

Sorry, not expressing myself very well tonight.

Ah you are allowed to be tongue-tied folic!

Must have been amazing! I understand the not wanting to get carried away and tempt fate etc, but at the very least it must make you feel like you are not mad IYSWIM (I feel this way regularly )

So fantastic.

I share the 'ah go on, you'll have a drink' mentality (of Irish stock here, so explains a lot hee hee)

In fact, I think I am one of the worst at doing this myself! Drink-pusher that I am, especially when pissed.

Bet you look at work in a whole other way now, having this little secret

Yippeeeeeeeeeee! Congratulations, Folic!

This brief & not been on lots recently because fucking phone keeps dying on me, but I am so so so made up for you.

Well done both, that was clearly some effective shagging there.

Oh, just massively girl hugs to you.

See, I told you sperm was more effective than babydust...

Am thinking of giving that sperm a go, jars - if the baby dust and acupuncture combo doesn't work out

Cheeeeers Jars!!

Weeeellllll, we do know when it was cos we only shagged the once at the right time. Member I had delayed OV due to work so we'd been shagging away the week before? Member I was banging on about DH being out at the footy etc? means that we conceived on...

.......... Valentine's day.

Oh the shame of it all. Valentine's Day, it's all so bloody babydusty.

And here was me totally down in the dumps about lack of consistent effective shagging, people do say it only takes the once but when you only do it the once at the right time, you just think you are down and out (and not in London or Paris).

Obviously you know I tell this story as a beacon of hope not a smug why we only did it the once you know, can you believe it, super sperm blah blah. There's nothing smug about our journey (how very x-factor).

You are supposed to drink it, though,right? I get DH to do all my research for me.

[sudden realisation emoticon]

Bloody hell.

X-posted, sorry. Val's day, eh? My neighbour has a son born then. She says she never feels romantic on that date any more!

Loving the x-factor audition. Do you have bad mascara streakage? So pleased for you & can't stop grinning!

Mine always told me I was supposed to close my eyes and he'd help me wash my face with it.

Yeah I just want to do it for my half brother with the gammy leg who lives with my dear old gran in a slum, after the tragic death of our labradoodle puppy three years ago. The family have never been the same since.

I just want them to be proud of me.

PMSL

'You rocked that conception, folic! You have had a few difficult weeks but I am so proud you came out here and you OWNED that pregnancy test this time! You did more than just deliver tonight, you nailed it! '

'I have to agree: you, young lady, have got what it takes to go all the way '

Valentine's Day

Still laughing

Hangonaminute, isn't it Oscar night? Acceptance speech time, surely?

Yesssssss jars!
We need a red carpet. folic is sooooo A list now

Well, I'm so overwhelmed. I stand here to accept this award-on behalf of all the gals- for most supportive thread.

I don't even know what to say.

I'm sorry that TanteAC, Sherry, Jars, Chocs, Phoebe, Loops couldn't be with us tonight, but they are at their shag stations all working on indpendent projects at the moment.

Without them, this thread would not be what it is today. A place in which women can come together and bemoan ovaries, semen and eggs. Jizzing, shagging and cunty periods are owned and celebrated.

...But we must dedicate this award, we must to Bloofer lady. Without whom we would not have met. And we believe...

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