Whisky-drinking Silk-cut smoking foul-mouthed 30-something hitherto unsuccessful TTCer seeks like-minded companions. Babydusters need not apply.

[BlooferLady]

Now then you lot. I've got a 40 pack of menthol fags from my mate that just got back from Croatia, a slightly dusty bottle of Bison Grass vodka I'm not sure what to do with, and a carrier bag full of cheap eBay pregnancy tests.

Obviously it's a bit lonely in here at the moment so I'd be glad to see anyone, but please be assured that given I've been pissing on my own fingers trying to aim it onto the bloody eBay tests for a year now to no avail, those in the first month of trying for their fourth child might be met with a) a stony stare followed by b) convulsive bouts of weeping .

Disclaimer: you don't actually need to be a smoker. I'm not some kind of maniac.

Folic, tell us about work.

Is it a job you normally enjoy, but that's stressful at the moment? Or is it something that you don't really enjoy?

Is there anything you could do to ease your workload or stress? Or some way of making sure you leave the stress behind when you leave work? It might sound really stupid, but because my job can be pretty full on, before I leave on a friday I always make sure I've started my To Do list for the following Monday. That way I know things don't get forgotten and I find it easier not to think about them over the weekend. MrC and I also used to have a one hour rule when we got in. We're both medical and have had some really intense and stressful jobs over the years. We used to have a rule that we both got half an hour to blow off steam when we got in, then no more work talk.

Sorry if that sounds really stupid, I just thought maybe separating work and home a bit might make you feel better.

The other thing, of course, is that although stress isn't much fun, people do still get pregnant during stressful times. Try not to get into the cycle of stressing about stressing and the effect it might have. Just keep you're chin up and keep shagging and you'll get there.

Happy belated birthday Phoebe! How are you doing? On the POAS front and generally? Do you have anything to distract youreself with before Wednesday? Do you know what to expect from the appointment?

Jars - any changes on the marital front? Have the two of you managed to talk yet? It's really tough with that "sex on demand" thing... Part of me thinks that when the men start kicking up a fuss and raising accusations of being used as sperm donors it's probably to a large extent due to performance anxiety rather than realy thinking that "she is such a selfish bitch". I don't mean that it's not a problem (anxiety, not being a bitch!) - they have a harder (no pun intended!) job to have sex when they are not really in the mood than we do, plus for an average guy sexual performance is an important part of their masculine identity... What I mean is that maybe such accusations shouldn't be taken too literally (however annoying or painful they may be)?

Folic - I also sometimes feel like it's just me wanting the baby... Good to know I'm not alone in that feeling (although DF has got a child from previous marriage so maybe it's more real for me than for you...)
How was work today? More or less stressful than it seamed at night? Is it usually that way?

Okay, you did ask....

I like my job, in that I love the values, the passion, I wouldn't want to do what I do for a profit making corporate HOWEVER, I am under a lot of pressure, a lot of work is deadline driven and stressful as well as long term projects. Also, difficult atmosphere at times a lot of the time. Tense. I also work long hours- although in saying that maybe lots of people do? Just all friends seem to work 9-5 or whatever and I do more so by time get home it doesn't give me much down time.

I get quite a few adrenaline rushes, I've also just started to get a ringing in my ears. This has now started to happen in the evenings also... tinnitus hmmm? I then drink too much wine to relax and drink to much coffee as a perk up and then eat too much as rushed.

I have been feeling better recently due to 1. Giving up midweek boozing 2. Cutting out caffeine 3. Eating healthily 4. Getting some exercise. I feel mentally better but not much fun!

Also I don't talk to OH about work much at all. maybe that's a problem in itself? i just don't like to bring it home and invade my home with my woes.

So that's me, really. Day today was worse than I imagined but nothing that I could have planned for.

Bugger of a day, Folic, poor you.

I like the suggestion of an hour for ranting: would that work? Your job sounds like mine, only with worse hours. The adrenaline rushes and tinnitus are worrying, though. Can you get that checked out?

Choc, yes! That's it! Performance anxiety is where it's at, definitely. Must not say "It's okay, I'm not after a performance, just sperm". We're doing better and trying to be nicer to each other, plus actually stayed awake long enough for a shag last night (last Window night tonight but can't be bothered/too tired from staying up late last night.).

Right, time for actual red wine, and kung po chicken. It's an okay combination once you get used to the afterburn.

Folic - that doesn't sound good, not long term... Is there anything you could change?

• in the actual job : get rid of some of the responsibilities/projects/clients?
• in the way you do the job: delegate some stuff? Concentrate on what adds most value and let go of other things that add to the stress/business but are not that crucial? (I have a couple of good articles on that - give me a shout if you are interested and I'll email you references)
• in the way you respond to the job - something like "do your best, accept the rest", "what's the worst that could happen if I don't get everything absolutely right", learning to manage stress etc.
• in whom you involve - maybe for your DH it would be better if you talked about it, at least he would feel included and able to help (even if only by listening to your ranting); can you get any support from your boss or colleagues?

Does everybody at work experience similar levels of stress? if not - is there anything they do that you could learn from? ...Or, if nothing works - could you change the job so that you can still do what you love and consider important but somewhere else, where you will also be able to keep your sanity?

Jars - if you shagged last night you can go to sleep tonight with clear conscience - these little buggers can definitely hang around for two days!

I want to be in your gang! This has to be the most fucking hilarious post I've EVER frickin' read!

I'm not even going to ask if I can join you, suffice to say I ALWAYS have Pinot Grigio in my fridge - soz, can't really drink spirits sober and I'm just going to plonk my fat arse here!

Anyone else feel a smidge lot of a faker being on here Mumsnet without being a Mum? Oh well, who the feck cares, it's where we want to be right?

My story (in case you care) 33, TTC from June10 after being on evil fucking depo for 3 years...

Oh, and another thing, periods stopped during evil fucking depo & not returned yet...no bloody red tide, no eggs either...apart from the creme variety, hmmmm, yumma!

I'm drinking Prosecco tonight. Should be Champagne, but too tight after last spending spree.

CD6, last day on Clomid - why do I fucking bother though?

In 60 cycles trying I have had one BFP.

That's odds of 1-2% per month. Not great.

Doctors won't give me Reductil - no longer available apparently. Xenical or nothing. Leaky bottom here I come.

I wish you all luck.

Phoebe - Keep the fire burning. Your odds can't be much worse than mine!

Sherry - no idea what drugs you're talking about but I definitely know champagne sparkling wine. I'm on Norprolac and port. Will roll out bison grass vodka tomorrow. My body is not a temple - it's a night club!

hello all, and welcome Loopy you don't ave to be to join us, but it helps. Wah wa wahhhhhhh. [shit joke emoticon]

That aside, I am so chuffed with all this work advice. Obviously with it being a Friday night I'm not going to dwell, suffice to say I am going to get up duffersville, get on mat leave, write a bestselling novel and then resign Back in the real world In the meantime I will have a think about your suggestions guys. And get you Coach Chocs I almost got down and gave you ten.

Sherry ooh member not to cheat, I have a friend who had a very bad leaky ruined trousers incident over a choc muffin.

Hope you all have ace weekends planned. Mine will be quiet but in a good way.

I dread to ask sweetsherry - leaky bottom??!

And I love prosecco, got to one of the bestest drinks out there.
I feel like such a virgin (hmmm, in the manner of Mary obviously wanting an immaculate conception) compared to all the experience on this thread.

Oh and folicacid great idea - blaady going to join you in that :)

Loopy write a bestseller or have a quiet weekend?

Hello Loopy -

Xenical(Orlistat) is a diet drug, that stops you digesting some of the fat you eat. If you follow the instructions, it can be ab effective diet aid.

As ever though, there is no such thing as a free lunch.

If you eat more fat than is recommended while taking it - like having Ginsters and a bounty for lunch - you will pay.

The 'treatment related side effects' are more accurately described as 'passive oil loss.

White trousers are not recommended..

Folic - duffersville, the writing of a bestseller & resigning = sounds like the perfect plan...

Sherry - Oh, like Alli then? I thought cos you mentioned Clomid that the Xenical was some kind of fertility drug - DOH!

Hello Loopy!
And may I ask (Sherry too) - what the hell are you doing being up at such an ungodly hour on Saturday??

I've just risen from coma and am hoping that the fourth cup of tea will somehow miraculously sort my head out... At my age I probably should know that there is no such thing as "only one drink" on Friday night...

I'm a lot bit of an insomniac so can't lie in...hubby manages to til around 11amish so use the morning to watch shit tv and drink my body weight in coffee.

Plus I lead the life of a social outcast hermit so never go out on a Friday night. Man, that makes me sound like a loser without any friends but can't be arsed after a week of commuting to London every frigging day...

So to sum up, yes, I'm a 33 year old childless woman who has no social life

Bollucks, where's the vino???

I was up at 8am today as well, and on here. I cheated on you guys though, been on Charters thread trying to get some advice from the experts. I'm really shit at this charting stuff, and I can't work out if I have ovulated yet. It says not, and I think this may well have been down to my stressful week. Is it so wrong of me to think of sex in the last week as 'wasted'? I don't like the way my head is going.

Bought one of those clearblue ov kits today and 20 sticks. Almost £40. Anyone use them? I'm not too sure about the symbols though. i get a smiley face means good, but an empty circle just seems so tragic. I'm sure a more positive spin on it would be better 'not yet!' 'try tommorrow' Spose we'd have to resort to text speak to fit that in. hmmmm.

anyhooooooo I'm over thinking it.

Any of you gals taking temps at any point? I'm finding it a bit obsessive as my firstwaking thought reminds me that 'I'm trying to have a baby. or I'm thinking, 'Fuck it's too early but I need a pee, hold it in and try to get back to sleep as it's less than 3 hours til you get up and you'll ruin the temperature' cue agony.

Hope you lot are enjoying the frivolities this evening. I'm staying in. OH working tonight and overnight.

Folic you cheated on us?!!! How could you? Next thing you know you'll be baby dusting and frickin' baby glueing too!!!!

(stops waving her fist, wipes tears "sniff" & blows nose)....

If you pass the vino, I'll forgive you-just this once :)

I've bought the ov sticks & temp thing too. Tesco does 7 sticks for £7ish I think which is a bit more affordable - and you get clubcard points too, lol! The temp chart I got from eBay for just a few quid as Boots was £14+

I was using the sticks (no fucking ridiculous faces, smiley or otherwise) until the docs told me I wasn't ovulating...if you do have cycles & they aren't always predictable then ov sticks & temp charting seems a good idea to me :)

love Rioja! Thank you!!!

Forgot to mention, also sounds like the timings are a bit squiffy too? My understanding is that you should take temp when you first wake up -like literally don't move or get out of bed and 1st thing, take your temp...

Then peeing on the ov sticks should not be done first thing (as pee too concentrated) but after a time period of a few hours of not too much drinking fluids - yeah, I know, sounds ridiculously complicated as the whole baby making business is. Why can't we just be 14, drinking 2 litres of White Lighting, have sex once and get up the duff??!! (sorry, got sidetracked) - anywaaaaaay, hope that makes sense...

I love the CB OV tests, Folic. Such a luxury compared to the ICs.

Doesn't affect the outcome though, so as far as I'm concerned, I'm better off buying cheapy OV tests from Ebay and then with what I've saved, I can buy a £38 candle!

+++++++

Went to a wildlife park yesterday. Everyone, but everyone was pregnant and lugging another kid on tow too. Even the nuns, and the pensioners. Glad I brought my valium.

Loopy It's a bugger as I've read the instructions and there isn't a four hour period in the day in which I don't go to the loo so really it's the mornin or nowt for me.

First circle today.

Sherry Wildlife Park must be even worse than a sciene museum et al with all the animals and ttheir young too.

Thanks for the valium - it makes me feel nice.

I've always found mornings give me the same results as evenings for OV testing.

++++++++

I'm due to OV next weekend - when I'll be staying with inlaws/friends as we're in London (yes, for a christening, what else?)

Just as well I'm not a screamer. We've practiced the art of silent shagging, out of necessity because of the number of times I've OV when we've been staying with other people.

If the bed is squeaky AT ALL, I lay out a bath towel on the carpet - shag station - (after barring the door with a chair or something) and we do the deed on the floor, silently.

And they say romance is dead!