By hook or by crook we will shag our way to victory - thread for the JSing viroids

[Miffles]

The (updated) (again) 'rules' from our Just Shagging Originator for the Viroids:

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday (or when you?ve had bad news). Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended).

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at every opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Keep acronym-age to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'. Try not to get sucked in by Fertility Friend (at least for a while), but knowing where you are in your cycle and furkling for pant snot is most definitely allowed.

Bunting is to be put out for any small victory, thread-parties are held regularly and hugs are always welcome!

Once you have your BFP, feel free to hang around and share your wisdom and virtual cocktails with the JSers.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

*

Most of these rules are well and truly broken!! But we try to chill - honest

**

Part 1 Graduates:
Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Part 2 Graduates:
ihaveaplan - BFP
lovemylulu - BFP
shitforbrains - BFP
gormers - BFP

Part 3 Graduates
Bonkerz - BFP
Kitten - BFP
Cowboylover - BFP
takingtheplunge ? BFP

Part 4 Graduates:
NoMoreChocBiscuits - BFP
Milanomum - BFP
TakeThatLady - BFP
Cremegg - BFP
BrassicaBabe - BFP
Dynababy - BFP

Shout if I've missed anyone

Oh bless you Vallinna - that sounds truely awful! To be in that much pain that you couldn't get dressed is terrible. Are you getting yourself looked at, or are you just assuming, since it's gone, that it was trapped wind?

Know I'm not going to sleep well tonight wondering about PIAR.....

PMSL Mog!

I'm at the same stage as NervousNelly - just have sperm swimming around looking for something to do

Hope you're feeling better now Vallinna and hope that's all it was

When are going to PIAR Miffles? Good luck! [fingers crossed emoticon]

Vallinna how awful! that's not really funny at all (unless of course it involved an earthquake-type fart)
Miffs when? WHEN?!
nelly sorry about your friend but I did love the way you remembered her.

I'm just passing the days swinging between hysterical panic that I might not be pregnant (and much poking of boobs etc)and calm, collected eating fests. wahhhh!

Vallinna that is just awful. Trapped wind is the worst!

Mogs pmsl at your egg vs sperm conversation . You think mother nature would give our DHs an extra hormone to make them "sense" ovulation and become stallions at the right time of the month.

Speakin of hormones, I have been a very sleepy and very grumpy lady for the past week, so trying to be nice to my DH and make him extra cups of tea and things. JSing is off the cards until my boobs calm down a little though. Plus he is convinced that he is going to make the bean fall out or prod it , depsite explaining to him that is not possible.

Milanomum I have been very similar to you, my boobs hurt so much I had to buy a tshirt bra to sleep in, but when they stop hurting I poke them and jiggle them in a panic . Have also read that people can put on up to 5 pounds in the first trimester. Trying to repeat to myself, 'this is not a goal, this is not a goal!'

Miffs I feel your non-sleeping, anxiety!

I can imagine I will not sleep a wink on the 29th (and 28th, 27th, 26th etc...!) and pee all night and then think 'well the difference between now and 7 hours won't be anything' and then kipper myself and then wake up DH and then...ARGH!

Other than this anticipated anxiety the 2WW is stress free. The absurd constipation/bloating means I haven't spotted a single symptom or twinge. And my boobs have got progressively less sore since egg collections

My stomach has gained 8 inches yet my weight - nada. DH said it was proof I am just full of hot air

Is there nothing the docs can give you Vallinna to relieve the bloating?

I wouldn't worry about not being able to symptom spot as the only symptoms I had were very similar to pms. Despite reading about 101 symptoms on the internet and lots of women who "just knew".

LOL at Vallinna being full of hot air!

I'm seeing the consultant tomorrow at midday to let me know how I've responded to clomid. So hopefully he'll have the progesterone levels. But since tomorrow is approx 13DPO, I figured if I was pregnant, it'd show on a test and so we would have a different conversation!

Have decided that DH are definitely doing this test together - he can go through the agony of looking at the test and realising a second line is not going to appear. Then we can comfort each other! Keep reminding mysef that clomid only causes ovulation and brings me to a normal starting point. 6 months trying is normal.

Milano and santab2b - quit with the boob poking! You'll make yourself sore! Or get arrested for fondling yourself in public

Yes, Vallinna - you're probably a bit early for symptoms. Do you think you could ask your acupuncturist to stick a needle in a bit more and relieve some of the gas??!!

Fingers crossed for a positive test miffles. When is your ERTD due?

Can't promise anything on the boob poking front

Assuming clomid has given me a 28 day cycle, then Thursday. So still testing a bit early. But 13DPO would normally show it up, wouldn't it? Not that I really know when I ovulated - assuming CD14....

Yeah, it should show up. To be honest I would have been testing from 10dpo but that is because I have no self restraint! It does mean that if it is a negative you will have to wait and test again in a few days. Especially if you are not sure ovulation happened on cd14.

Afternoon viroids! Lots of action as usual.

Nervous so sorry to hear about your friend, all you can do is cherish the memories. Such a sad thing to happen double to you atthis difficult time.

Vallinna feeling your pain of trapped wind .. awful .. a friend of mine once had such bad abdominal pain her boyf decided he had to call an abulance .. queue the most embarrsing moment of her life when they came through the door to the sound of the loundest longest fart followed by a right old lingering smell, she was soo but managed to laugh it off - just glad it was nothing serious!!

I had some good news today, went for an early scan (I'm 9 + 4) and baba measured just right for dates was already kicking and moving and had hearbeat .. so releived and means I'm going to tell my family on Christmas day! . Really happy!!

Yay yay yay to Dyna - totall fab news!!

Thanks miffles - fingers crossed for you PIAR tomorrow!!

It's been a couple of exciting days around here!

Vannilla there is just no way I can laugh at your story I'm sorry. I have lactose intolerance and know all to well the pain of gas so bad I want to throw up. The only difference with that is I know it'll all come to a messy end. Yours sound much worse.

Sb2b and Milano if you aren't careful you're going to end up with very bruised boobs! Can't you find a less painful way of checking on your beans?

Well for all my complaining about the snow yesterday we got about half a centimetre . And we're looking okay for making our escape in a couple of days.

b2b and milano I'm the same with the poking and the jiggling. Bought maternity bras on Saturday though and this means that my boobs are not in constant pain from wearing underwired bras (big no-no) two cup sizes two small. It does mean that when I release them they feel like they've been punched by the Hulk though

vallinna I am SO with you on the trapped wind. I went to the hospital a few weeks ago (you may remember) because I thought I was having an ectopic. It was wind. At least you don't have my DH, who fainted when I had a blood test and then spilt the blood-sugar-raising Dr Pepper through the pocket of his coat, over his crotch, and out through the bottom of his trouser leg. He was fainting and wetting himself and all I needed was a fart . We have friends (a couple) who have not stopped taking the piss since we told them. Wait til she's pregnant and I will have my revenge . Trapped wind is so painful!

nervous what a lovely way to honour your friend. So that this happened to her - it sounds like she is well loved and has a wonderful network of friends and family who will take care of her little one and make sure she is remembered.

Off to parents and ILs tomorrow and none of them have internet. They are young but all are technophobes. My mum and step-dad are nearly 50 and 42 and they only have three working channels on their TV. My step-dad is an engineer, too and a fully-qualified electrician. They drive me nuts!

So will post from my phone when I can. Have a lovely Christmas ladies. Crossing all my fingers and toes for miffles, vallinna and all the others on the 2ww!

Congrats Dyna!

Miffs, read your comment earlier and ran straight upstairs to DH. You instigated a JSing bout!!! Anyway, convo in me now goes:

Egg: Ahhh... getting a bit tired and old.
Sperm: YEAH YEAH We're here baby, check out our mean swimming skills, innit.
Egg: Oh, youths. Excellent.
Sperm:

The only thing now is, did they get there? Will have to wait until New Year to find out cos have resolved not to test until AF should be here. As DH says, it must be like being dropped in the sea and told to find the Isle of Wight without a map.

PMSL at TTL wanting to fart with a damp, fainting DH!! Although obv your pain is not funny, but image in my mind certainly is.

Dyna WHOOP!

Vallinna ouch ouch ouch.

Sorry, can't say much as have been out on work Christmas do. 2 large wines (£5.90 EACH) and a bottle of beer have taken their toll on me. Weird night as a number of unknown moles at my school who report the slightest thing to the head, so can't be yourself & on guard all the time (which is why I didn't have more large glasses of wine). Was quite fun though.

Well girls....up early on a day off. DH actually did the honours as I was too scared to look at another test. And, as expected, BFN. Oh well. It doesn't always work first time.

Now got to get through the snow to my hospital appointment. Think I will enlist my DF or BIL who have land rovers! DH off to work, but happy going on my own. Nothing much will be said, me thinks.

But means I can drink what I want and eat all the stilton, camembert, pate in the fridge. So.....come on Christmas!! Got to look at the positives. Also, no risk of child being born end of Aug (EDD would have been 01.09.11) and youngest in class. Err...and won't be so massively pregnant over summer when uncomfy. Another month saving.

Rather self-centred post, but you understand!!

Love you all xxx

Oh no Miffs :( at least you are looking at the positives. I have all your reasons stored for end of month, except saving. I'm not good at that. Let us know how it goes at the hospital, hope you find a kind soul with a snow-bashing car to get you there. xxx

Great scan news Dyna

LOL at TTL's DH - men have no stamina

Awh Miffs - it's still early really, you have know way of knowing if you ov'd on CD14 so you could be testing stooooooopidly early (as opposed to stoooopidly early ) - it ain't over until the ERTD flows! [grossed myself out emoticon]

On gross me related news...STILL NO MOVEMENT! However I have had some small country destroying farts

Morning everyone

Feeling a bit better today, thanks to everyone for putting up with my whinging!

Sorry for bfn Miffles but glad you can eat and drink all you want over xmas

PMSL Mog at your conversation! Mine might go a little like:

Egg: Way hay!
Sperm: Ooo, hello you, come here a moment
Egg: sorry, can't stop, must be on my way
Sperm: wait up!

And so on...

at all your mad updates.

Nelly your evening remembering your friend sounds lovely - she obviously means a lot to you.

I had some lovely news today - someone I know IRL has a history of miscarraiges, and she'd been preg again, but she hadn't said anything about it for a while (didn't want to ask). anyway, this morning she said she'd been kept awake all night by bump kicking her. I was so happy to hear that! she's 23 weeks now, and everything's going really well, she said

My Egg/Sperm:

Eggs: God, there are a lot of us in here, it's not like it said in the manual...more dish like that uterus like. Bloody hell..what are they...
Sperm: Chaaaarrrrrge!!!!!
Eggs: Stay away you freaks! Over 80% of you have two tails, no tails or some other freakish abnormality.
Sperm: Oh go on, let us in? This is the second tub we've been in today.
Eggs: