TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

[nurse47]

Hi ive been posting on the miscarrage forum but now feel ready to start all over again!
My story, Had my first MMC in nov 2007, followed by an erpc (worst moment of my life) this was my first pregnancy and i felt robbed. Waited for two periods and got pg with my little DD in feb 2008, i had a great pg and birth but was on constant knicker alert. We decided when she was two we would like another baby to add to the familiy, we decided to try in sept this year and got pg first time! (very shocked) I was so hoping this would be my time to have a stress free pg and actually enjoy the experience! How wrong i was, i started to spot at six weeks had a scan which showed a sac but no baby, i then enjoured the worst two week of my life by having scan and blood tests. I was told on the 8th on nov the pregnany was not going to continue and i had a blighted ovum, and on the 9th i had a erpc. I have recovered well and stopped bleeding the day after the procedure. I went to see my doc last week who told me i could start ttc asap as long as i feel up to it?? anyone else ttc straight away, last time i was told to wait and i did but this time i have read that there is no lit to say wait apart from to date the pg?? Im hoping there are some people who can share there experiences and someone who wants to join me!

Hi Meltobe, sorry for your loss, your story sounds very simular to mine, 13 weeks hwen discovered id mmc's at 8 weeks, went natural by choice (not sure why now) 33 this dec and was my first baby.

I think its natural for you to be checking back in on the jue in june thread, i think the stronger you get in time, eventually that will stop, its nothing to be ashamed about, and jealousy is part of the grieving process...

I found myself on the miscarriage threads quite alot at the beginning but now less and less.

I wouldnt rush your feelings, run with them, it does take time, 8 weeks on for me and i only just feel like ive come out the other end.

Hi meltobe and welcome to the thread and v sorry to hear re: your loss. I wish I had some answers to give you re: HCG levels - I can certainly imagine it must be v frustrating not having an end in mind to this.... Do you have someone at an EPU / GPs you could speak to. I totally know what you mean about familiar names, I wasn't ready to join the other threads, but feel very much among friends here. As for checking on the Jue in June - I'm still doing a bit too so you're definitely not alone there. I'm not sure if it's helping, but I honestly don't think it's doing any harm- just makes me a bit sad from time to time, but then a lot of things make me sad. Someone told me today they had a surprise wedding on holiday recently and that made me cry!

I am also anxious about ttc again - if this ended in a 3rd mc, I don't know how long it would take to recover.... however, I am definitely thinking positively and focusing on all the good things in my life. (ask me again tomorrow though and you may well find me terribly negative - all parts of the ups and downs I think).

Hi to everyone else.

Hands up here too Mel, i've had the odd peek at the thread. It's nothing obsessive, just mjore a little glance. I noticed 2 more ladies have left over the last couple of days. Hoping they will find us when they feel ready.
I'mj definately not qualified to say but reading other peoples threads, it seems that depending on the amount of tissue left, they can give you a shot of hormone to push out the rest and at a worst case scenario may offer and ERPC. Don't worry too much though as by the sounds of it your docs probably expect the remainder to dissolve into your lining and you'll shed it with your next period. x

I think we'll be a bit up and down all the time. I must say though, i feel fine actually but keep having the odd, dare i say it, 'hormonal' outburst!! Not tears or anything like that, more being irritable and wound up over things that wouldn't bother me normally. I'm usually very laid back.

Ahhh, you're all so great, thank you!

Thanks sparklywine for your kind welcome. I too was wondering about taking vits - decided to carry on but right now I'm taking them with vitamins in mind, rather than a focus on the 'ante natal' bit! (If that doesn't make me sound too odd!)

Hi rachk32 I'm so sorry that our stories are so similar, it is also reassuring though - of course it'd be much nicer if we were happily pg and didn't have to seek out others in the same situation but there is definitely comfort in places like this. To think that prior to being pg I'd never looked at a forum in my life, let alone write on one!

Hey wonnay and star, thank you for making me feel a bit more normal! I'm sure I'll wean off Jue in June in time....maybe! Wonnay I admire your positive thinking. I'm attempting the same but like you often find myself crying out of the blue.

Star thanks, I did a quick google and I think what you said sounds quite likely. I think it's something about progesterone. I'm having my next bloods done on Friday so I'll see what happens after that.

I hope you're all having the best Monday you can

Hello All, can I join you? I had my ERPC last Thursday. My 12 week scan was last Monday and the baby had stopped growing at about 7 weeks. This was my second pregnancy - I have a DD who is 2.6.

I am at work today. Several people here know what has happened and I am glad they do. They sent me some lovely flowers last week. One person I work with is pregnant. It is going to be hard seeing her pregnancy progress and knowing I should be not far behind her.

As far as ttc goes, I don't think I want to even consider it until after Christmas. I am 39 so feel the clock is ticking loudly. I honestly don't know how we would cope if I get pg and have a second mc. So at the moment I feel scared to even think about ttc.

Hi Running, do join! I'm sorry you are going through this, I had my bad news at the 12 week scan too and it was awful, I'd have preferred a sign earlier on and will definitely try and push for an earlier scan next time. I hope you have given yourself enough biscuit eating recovery time, I went back to work too soon and spent the whole time on MN . Luckily my boss was really sympathetic and let me take some more time off. Glad you're getting the support at work though, this sort of thing can really show you the good in people can't it? It is scary thinking about TTC again, and so soon for you. I was anxious to get going again as I thought it would make me feel better, but actually having time for DH and myself has helped far more. That and drinking wine, I actually lost weight whilst pregnant as I was off the booze! There are a couple of joggers on this thread, hats off to you ladies! Might hit the gym later

Hi running, sorry to see you on here but welcome. I think I'll be thinking about ttc after Christmas too.

sparkly I like your style, I'm much prefering kitkats to the gym at the moment! Whilst pg they discovered I had a 5cm ovarian cyst which is still there. It is being monitored and I may need to get something done but they're concentrating on my weird hcg levels and remaining tissue first. Anyway that was a roundabout excuse reason for me not being able to get to the gym as they said I can't do any exercise because of the cyst. Grrr, I just want to be back to normal, I don't even feel like I'm back to square one yet.

Hi Ladies, and welcome to the newbies, although I'm sad for the circumstances of course.
sparlywine and meltobe make it a mars related choc bar if u don't mind that will keep me in work!
I was a "natural" too meltobe

I found it too hard to keep in with the jue in june thread and removed it from my watch list quite quickly, although I did make a mental note to look in on them and wish them all luck as they got closer to their due dates. Hopefully we will all be PG and past the danger zone by then. We have decided to give it one more go after christmas and if that ends in M/C then I will accept that is it for us, and as far as I am concerned I am definately not thinking of myself as pregnant until I have had a healthy 12 week scan. Maybe tests should say "over the first hurdle" instead of pregnant!
I am so lucky to already have 2 and feel a bit greedy sometimes wanting more when I hear you first timers having such a difficult time.

hey guys! welcome to new/old faces ;)

I don't check the jue in june thread anymore - sort of lost interest in it and they are a chatty lot so hard to catch up but it's the little things that "remind" me - like the NCT email :(

Also, as I've mentioned before, I work in a children's centre and they have baby drop in a few times a week, it was very difficult for me to see all the mums with their tiny babies in today :( Sometimes I think about it and it's just a piercing feeling in my heart and I really have to hold back the tears, other times I can talk about it with zero emotion - depends on the day, I guess.

I am def trying to get in shape - did a pretty good job before I got pg but then of course eased of on the training and I did put on a few kgs over the past three weeks - mainly due to depressed mood and not wanting to leave the house...

re sex it's only 4 days post op for me and frankly I am a bit "scared" of it - sounds silly, I know. I decided to wait a few more days and see how I feel, still have minimal spotting so will probably wait for that to ease off. Poor hubby must be suffering but he's being very understanding about it :)

brought I totally agree about the 12 week scan - honestly, next time I am going to keep my cool or try to at least and NOT get hyper over baby stuff until I get the all clear........well, I'll try at least! :)

I agree beesok and brought, next time round im not going to even except im pg until ive seen that 12 week scan.
And thanks to you guys ive booked myself onto two pilates classes this week to try and get myself back into pre-mc shape again..

p.s have had a name change in spirit of my new positive outlook on things, lets see how long this one lasts....

previously rachk32

Thanks for all the support i dont feel like a complete werdio now, i was thinking i would have to go to docs to get some anti-depressents i felt that bad! First day back at work was not bad, although some people kept asking me if id been anywhere nice on my holiday!!! Its surprised me too that today i told people who didnt know and i was calm and didnt get upset, so i think it just depends and how you feel that day, i just hope i dont feel like i did this weekend ever again! I know its not our friends fault but i feel i just need to avoid her for a bit, i ring and text but i dont want to be in there company its just too raw at the moment.
Ive not cried today and eaten well so i think it may have been a blip! I did my bloods in work and my HCG is 16 so any day now it should go to normal limits. Regarding BD we started about a week ago but just took it easy, i felt as though i need to be close to him and it had been so long too.
I agree to next time im not even doing a test im just going to wait till ive had my 12 week to confirm my pg.
Hope everyone is ok? Welcome any newbies!
I do hope we have some good news soon x x x

Morning all and welcome to running - hope you are recovering as well as you can.

Beesok - I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be to be in your work environment right now and I have massive admiration for your strength to continue. I do hope you have some good support there.

Nurse - v glad to read that work wasn't too bad and that you're feeling a bit better. I'm sure we're all going to have our blip moments / hours / days / weeks. How handy to be able to do your bloods at work! What sort of nurse are you if you don't mind me asking?

MrsB33 - well done on booking up your pilates classes - I've done a couple and found it v hard to do properly - I really had to concentrate!

meltobe - your post about posting made me chuckle - I was exactly the same and now you can't keep me off here! I do hope you get your remaining issues sorted asap.

brought - good to hear that you have both decided on another try and enjoy the PG free festive period!

sparklywine (love your name by the way) - I know just what you mean re: time with your DH - gives you a new appreciation, don't you think?

star, yellowtomato - how are you guys doing?

Wishing you all a positive Tuesday! x

Morning Ladies, glad you are feeling a bit brighter today nurse

I have 2 friends having 20 week scans to find out the sex of their babies today. So I will be staying away from my facebook today!
They both have their first scan photos as their profile and one of them is always moaning about being sick, I would so love to be having MS right now . It is both of them first and one of them thought she couldn't have children after having chemo for a brain tumour so can't blame them for being so excited. Now I have written that down I feel really nasty and so wish I wasn't so jealous.
Hope you all have a nice day xxxx

Morning all

broughthim you are not nasty at all, it is so normal to feel as you do. And it is good that you can express it here rather than bottling it up. Please don't be hard on yourself for having some jealous feelings, I'd be surprised if you didn't.

welcome running and meltobe

Re sex, I was told to wait 2 weeks to allow cervix to close/avoid infection but I can't remember if they also said 'or when bleeding stops'. But in any case I'm waiting 2 weeks to be on the safe side.
I was wondering how they know for sure if they got all the tissue out? Apparently I'll have a follow up in 6 weeks but not a scan?
I feel in a weird kind of limbo waiting for a sign things have got back to normal but I guess the 'best' sign would be a period and that isn't due for some time I suppose.

Re weight gain, I'm not sure how but without putting on weight I put on fat on my tummy and hips. It is so weird because I was less hungry during pg and so eating less and more healthily and no alcohol.......so how did I manage to put on so much fat....and more importantly why hasn't it gone! grrrrr
I am planning to go to pilates this week but I had told the teacher my news so not really looking forward to telling her otherwise, I fear I might breakdown in the class.

I agree that up and down days are normal. I had a full on busy day yesterday and felt quite drained and emotional by the time I got home in the evening. I put that down to the strain of wearing the 'mask' all day and keeping myself together.

Hope you all have a good day, bon courage to us all.

Morning all,
Wombat I'm an orthopaedic specialist trauma nurse (sounds fancy but its not! Lol) was naughty doing them but I did ask the sister in epau and she said just do them on the ward, I was pleased it was so low!

Brought I know how you feel our friend who is pg I have mixed feelings about and I feel so bad, she lost a baby last year a 10 weeks, she has two DD and she got pg 4 months after her second and had a termination. So I just feel a bit bitter towards her I know that that sounds awful too but can't help how I feel!
Feel much better today and positive! I keep telling my self that by my due date I will be pg!!

Morning All! Hope everyone has a good day today. I really need to get myself fitter and lose some weight. Not sure how I am going to manage it though. DH will be away for most of the next month so I have no free time for myself (work full time plus DD to look after). I think I will have to just try to eat sensibly for the rest of this year and then join a gym in the new year.

Eat sensibly? Who am I kidding? I am at work now, so I am about to have my usual morning danish.

Hi all!!

Still not got myself to the gym......oh dear. It will be done this week!! I hopped on the scales this morning and was 9st12 (i'm 5'6") and i'm normally about 9st7, never less than 9st4 though. Looks like i've put on about 5 pounds. I definately feel bigger around my middle so would like to get rid of it in timje for Christmas :). I know, i know....i'll probably just put it back on again over the festive period but better that than add on more to what i already am!!

Hope you're bearing up ok this morning Brought. All normal feelings i'm sure and it doesn't make you nasty at all. Just shows you're grieving and working through your feelings.

Nurse, in a way, i do think it would help if i knew i was pregnant by my due date as it would take the significance away a little from the date.

Good luck at your pilates class Yellow. Maybe get there a little early to speak to her if that's at all possible. Also i've not been told i have any follow up appointment which i find strange. Same goes for you MrsB with your class this week. Let us know how you get on. I've never done it before. :)

Sparkly, you seem to be a girl after my own heart......wine and chocolate is a common evening pastime for me too!! :o

Have you girls who work found it has helped or hindered that you've been at work whilst all this has been going on? I can see the pros and cons to both options so wondered how you found it.

I have something to admit. I haven't actually cried over all of this although have felt myself about to but held it back (more when i've been explaining what's happened to people). Am i wierd? I am a bit of a bottler but feel strange how most of you have been openly upset and cried. I feel like i'm a cold hearted b*** or something. :(

On a brighter note, enjoy your day and i hope something makes you smile today......what do you all think of snow by the weekend????

Hey ladies

Thanks for your welcomes. I completely agree with everyone's sentiment who say they won't relax until they're in the all clear next time (there WILL be a next time for us all ). I must admit to taking that a step further and not relaxing until I have that little bundle in my arms...and then the worry begins all over again...!

brought I'd forgotten you'd gone natural too, how is your physical recovery going? My bleeding is next to nothing now which I'm a bit annoyed about as there's still tissue remaining. You mustn't feel greedy about already having 2 dcs, this is my first experience with the whole thing but I do have hope that it will happen. You mustn't feel bad for not wanting to hear about your friends pg updates, it's completely natural. And you're allowed to vent on here, we're the last ones to judge as I'm sure we all pretty much feel the same.

Beesok I was really sad to read about your nct email. You sound wonderfully strong, especially working where you do.

Hi MrsB33, I like your positivity name change .

Nurse I'm so glad you had a good day at work. I completely related to your feelings of absolute unhappiness and wondered too if I needed ADs. But it sounds like you had a really good day yesterday. I do believe we'll all start having more of those as time goes on.

at wonnay and running and anyone I may have missed...

Hi yellowtomato you'd asked how they know if all the tissue is out? I'm an English girl currently living abroad - the health here is all private so everything is done directly with my OB who is still scanning me so last week was my first scan since the mc which is how he saw the tissue. It's pretty depressing going for the scans though, as the sight of an empty uterus (besides the tissue) is bleak. Not to mention the cyst which looks huge on the screen!

Star I wouldn't worry about the amount of tears (or lack of) you have. I do think it's important to grieve but we all do it in different ways. You are certainly not cold hearted . I totally agree with wanting to be pregnant by by due date.

Sex? What's that?! I think I've forgotten how!

Sorry sparkly, to you too

Oh yes, miss me out again! Hi everyone, I've got a stinking cold so won't say much as it'll be nonsense. I'm 5ft 5 and 11 stone so now thinking I'm hee-yooge! It's mostly boobs and brain though, ha! Star, don't worry about not crying, it's not how everyone expresses themselves by any means. I didn't cry at my Nan's funeral, sometimes things either don't sink in or are so momentous that they almost require a different response that hasn't been learnt yet, so the default is to carry on as normal. I don't know if that makes sense, blame the lemsip! Off for soup so can't linger, I may be back later when I have skived off gone home sick x

Oh not at all sparkly....I just wanted to give you your very own message, honest! . Sorry you're poorly, look after yourself and make sure you eat plenty of chocolate vegetables to aid your recovery

Hello sparkly poor you with a cold, hope you feel better soon. I'm 5ft 3 and 10st 7 so think a diet is def on the cards. Well I'm on day 2 of the diet and v hungry. I don't have any full length mirrors at home and just caught sight of my massive tum in the mirrors here........how did it get so big? So annoying....love food......oh I guess that may be a clue!
star re working, I have my own business so it is kind of like being at work when I go and see clients but also I work a lot from home. i guess on the one had doing work is a bit of a distraction but on the other i do feel very vulnerable and wouldn't cope well with someone being annoyed or aggressive with me. Also I haven't cried that much either. I had some tears on the day i found out but only for a few mins and it didn't go as far as sobbing. Since then there have been a few occasions of tears in the eyes but nothing more. We are all different and deal with things in different ways and you just need to be gentle and kind to yourself. And eat chocolate

Does anyone else know if they are having a follow up after an ERPC to check it's all ok? It must be tough having a lot of scans meltobe but I guess at least you'll know for sure when it's all sorted out. Which I really hope for you will be soon.

nurse I really am glad to see you feeling more positive, we're all making progress on the rocky road to recovery. I hope we are all pg by our due dates, however, I know I wasn't last time and as I'd had that as a deadline it made the date even harder. I hate the due date and wish I didn't know what it was because it is burned into my brain.

Sorry this was meant to be a positive post, just feeling really very tired today. I think a very early night tonight will sort me out although chocolate would probably help that too but trying to resist at least until I can fit into some of my clothes again.

I was told that I did not need any follow-up and that I should see my GP if anything worried me.

Like yellowtomato I cried on the day of my scan and that was it.

Sparkly, I hope your cold gets better soon.

also another random thought.....ok so we will stay in 'denial' about the pregnancy until the 12 week scan, but how in reality to achieve that? If I am not drinking that means I cannot go and see any of my friends without seeing them.

I am constantly checking on boobs, knickers for signs and symptoms.

I just can't see how to protect myself better next time...it is so tough but just doesn't seem possible to me.

I guess this time I was a bit like 'well I've had one mc so statistically it's not likely to happen to me again.....' but here I am.

Anyway, probably not making much sense. As you were!

sparkly - poor you with a cold too. Def time to head home for some rest I'm sure.

star - not strange at all. I sometimes find I don't cry at this I "should" cry about but then I'm a total blubber at films that shouldn't make me cry (had to be v quiet when blubbing in cinema the other day when one of the Harry Potter characters croaked it!) Re: work - it has been a good distraction but I have found I'm not as motivated as I should be, particularly as I've been asked to run a couple of new initiatives that I would normally be v excited about.... I guess it's a matter of time. I actually applied for a new job yesterday which felt as if it had been written for me. It seemed a bit mad applying for it if I'm planning to get PG, but I figured I can't put my life on hold forever....

Still feeling very angry / envious / mixed up when I see other PG women and almost barged my way past one today. Also avoiding facebook right now.

meltobe - I'm an English girl abroad too so also private but even so, it's a bit hit and miss.

nurse - most impressed with your title! and goodness, take advantage of what you can at work, heaven knows you nurses work hard enough!

Hi to everyone else.