Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

:( Owlie Really sorry to see you go. The very best of luck with it all, if you ever do come back we'll welcome you with open arms.

Gentle strokes with palm fronds to Truffs , LadyGG ,and Bitey .

I think we all deserve the gin tonight :)

P.S GaGa happy to come round for groping restraining purposes. Thanks for the good news story, am hoping to follow your lead....

2000 years later.

The headlines today: Archaeologists have today unearthed a relic from ancient Egypt, they believe to be a cursed mummified ship. It was discovered underneath a Pyramid which seemed to be made entirely of strange white sticks all bearing a red mark, which they are currently struggling to identify. They believe that the crew of the vessel may have been members of a cult, who worshipped the Goddess Gordon, as many offerings were made in bottle form and found strewn around the deck. The only signs of human life were the skeletons of what appears to be a long haired pirate, and possibly a member of the British Secret Service. Further investigations are under way, but will proceed with caution, as female members of the dig team have reported some unusual affects from working around the ship,such as extremely violent mood swings as well as lesbiotic tendencies.
We'll bring you further updates on our later edition.

I luffs you Molery

I have been to body balance. I can't stand on one leg and stretch my other leg our holding my toe and I don't think I ever will.

Someone fan me with a plam leaf, purlease, I think my legs are broked...

or a palm leaf, even.

Here, you deserve it after exercise! I've got gym membership through work and I physically walk past the entrance to get to my building. I have set foot inside only once, to pick up my membership card!

I was late home tonight so have only just finished dinner (a lovely warming casserole cooked by TGB, more brownie points!)

Am now enjoying a cup of tea before dragging him to bed for fun without intent!

Oh and I also have a bit of a soft spot for Moletta

Wahey Truffles :o

owlie :(

Truffs I can't help with temping and whatnot but can offer my generous bosom to comfort you on menkul

adrianmole you is genius.

Night.

Night Milano , Glad you're still here.

Morning lovelies moley thank you for bringing laughter back to the barge and well done on the lesberotobiolence everyone else

ladyg what is the current situation is the droid expected but not come?

boo what you are describing is not natural. If you want to hold your toes do it in bed.

truffs I do had the sechs for comfort and reassurance fun last night. Slept like a log and mood much improved today

As it's friday have asked google what cocktails were of preference in ancient egypt were but only found that all booze was acceptable but that good honest folk avoided taverns as they were houses of ill-repute. They had obvioulsy been to the BESH saloon then....

Moley = Genius.

Update**the long haired male skeleton was found to have an eroded pelvic area, suggesting he may indeed have been shagged to death as some sort of sacrifice.

Poor old Cap'n Jack!

In menkull news my boobs are killing me and I have cried at least six times today. I'm on cycle day 21 and think I am 10 days DPO (this is very rough guess as couldn't be arsed kept forgetting to take temp but based on general slime and fertility freind think it was around then. Howvever this is also a classic symptom of PMT for me. Also have noticed that I wrote mood was much improved only two hours ago so all the crying has been done since then. Mood swinging like a good un then!

I'm really sorry if I hurt anyone yesterday - I was upset and v angry feeling that there was a "mass flounce" because of newbies - several people have said that just wasn't the case. :( My line is here:
-------

MrBitey Suspicious crying eh? Obviously what you need to do is POAS.

I had a sechs failure last night - jailbait has a new android phone and I am suffering terrible DOMS from completely over-doing it at the gym. There will have to be sechs tonight as he's on a nightshift so he'll get it before he goes to work whether he likes it or not. I fear one hand may be on his new toy... :(

alpenmuesli FDH has an i-phone and became very neglectful - nip it in the bud ASAP! If he is insisting on holding phone during the sechs then make sure you have found out how to work the video player function

Still crying, face hurts now!

POAS lady!

alps Have you got an app for that? ;)

Barbsbox [gin :)]

A sechs app or a POAS app?

I would be horrified to video the sechs. Nobody, but nobody needs to see that. (unless there's internet money to be made obv.)

I hear they have apps for EVERYthing. Sechs app wouldn't surprise me. No comprende why people video and then WATCH themselves. I would spend the 5 mins whole time looking for cellulite, noticing flab etc etc. Not much fun at all. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to see it, even with payment.

Oh god no! Never video self you will never do the sechs again! I was thinking more along the lines of favourite scenes from films for you to watch while he holds it! Number one suggestion would be the sechs seen from meet Joe Black - fabulous! Is on you tube for anyone not in work

tuscanmama I'm off for a swim in de nile and not POAS until at least monday. I say that now because I have stopped crying and only one of my boobs is hurting. Going to flash it at Ramses while shouting "checkout my neffertitties"

scene even. Just so you know, I am half way through a PhD and not stupid. Just can't type!

Oh dear bitey You're not getting the hang of the menkul properly. Prod the other boob until it hurts equally - the prod boob number 1 again to try and work out whether it's hurty because of diffed or hurty because of prodding.

Not stupid? It's taken me a year (did it on Tuesday) to install a wireless network at home because I had "preggo brain" and acute laziness. Brain is now working again, hence installation. Next Tuesday am looking at a house to buy. Must do everything double-quick before brain gives up again.

Hello all. Shurely it would be easy to make a POAS app for these iphone thingumies. Put the stick in one of the holes around the side, do the necessary - taking care not to miss target and ruin expensive phone - and appropriate message appears. "Congratulations!" or "Never mind, go and drink some gin and come back next month" or "Quick - make with the sechs!"

Bitey I spent most of the last week prodding the boobs to check that they still hurt. So now there are at least two reasons why they is sore - diffment, and bruising from proddage.

Also Bitemeister kudos to you for trying to grow a baybee whilst doing your PhD. This is a new level of menkul [kneeling in reverence and awe emoticon]