Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

How bad is the snow there? I've got a wedding to get to next weekend goddammit, the snow had better not fuck up my plans.

I have nothing exciting or witty to say today really. Am planning on drinking my way through December. Starting tonight.

Should be ok by then this fucking ice age can not last forever. Can it??

Apt, no?

Yes. It's hard to be witty when you're too bloody nice

I am beginning to wonder if my plans for getting trolleyed at aforementioned wedding might have to be switched to very sober (and boring)ones. But I won't test yet...

Oooh a bloody mary. Yes please. I never think of drinking that but they are GOOD. Esp with celery. In the first class lounge at an airport.

When are you going to test Momma ?

Where is theprincessandthepeaboo

Celery??!! vegetable of the devil.

I just have a weird aversion to testing right now. Will wait for a few days. Anyway, will need to find out if I need to shag like I've never shagged before next week or not.

And where is moleynose?

Ha ha, the name chagers have shifted down a gear with Silk Cut. I clearly will not fit in with my Marlboro Red habit of filth

Miiiiiilan (makes me think of Maaaarlene from Fools & Horses) I'm just waiting for some vicarious POAS action. Just sayin'

I am enjoying a cup of tea in my hotel room before getting ready for a pre-conference dinner this evening. I'm feeling like shite from the bloody cold I caught from the MIL so had to visit the spa for relaxing and medicinal facial / scalp / neck / shoulder massage and rehydrating type thing. I also have free wi-fi so yay for me.

I do have to schmooz with people I'm not massively keen on later and am missing the bloody Birmingham Cup derby so felt it only right to indulge. I might see if I can use the cold as an excuse to head back to my room early enough to watch the end of the match. Oh yes, I have Sky Sports in my room too. Would be perfectly happy if I could swap the work commitments for TGB

Oh, I am watching '16 and pregnant' on MTV. What a load of scrote.

I am building up to shagging for my life. I am taking the tack of the sechs fest being mostly fuelled by drink.

Don't make a list now Celeryhater that simply wouldn't do

X post Truff. Your evening sounds fun minus the schmoozing. I have to do that with my job and frankly most of the time I simply can't be arsed.

16 & Diffed - makes me laff. Also see 'Teen Mom' similar pile of wank.

First Response also says no so I am saying yes to cigarettes and alcohol. Have calculated next sechs-fest time will be beginning of school hols so no work for me and able to get in lots of lovely SWI if the cbfm cooperates with my plan. August is a rubbish time to have a baby if you are a teacher anyway, wasting your mat leave during summer hols when you could have been off six weeks on full pay. Am thinking a Sept-early Nov baby much more practical. I live in eternal optimism clearly.
Am thinking that a bit of Camembert will be very nice with my red wine and perhaps some paté too. Off to the fridge I go......

milano you are spot on about celery. However, it is peas that are the real devil-food! Where is the wedding? Not much snow around where I am, just a light dusting.

truffs you are more hardcore than me - I am only partaking of Malboro gold! Your spa visit sounds nice!

Kitkat grrrr for your news but is the droid here yet??

Celery = good

Peas = vile (esp in soup, curries and other things where you can't see them & they just appear)

I'm hating of both celery (taste and smell) and peas (texture) but love floret vegetables and carrots. Of course my real food love is for all things fattening and calorific. Don't think I'm too unusual there.

The plus sode of tonight is copious amounts of red wine and (again medicinal) gin.

I love all vegetables. It's my dirty secret.

So... about this sex you had at the party under a pile of coats. Tell us more.

kat What are you going to do about these lying sticks? I thought I'd wait until Friday now.

Alpen what, even brussel sprouts? I'm a slighty lapsed veggie but there are some things that just shouldn't be eaten.
I think your pervy mind has wrongly absorbed the information - Party is next week and husband isn't going so no under coat sechs unless of course Clive Owen/Joshua Jackson/Javier Bardem are present.
Might poas beforehand, just to make sure.

Where is ladygonecreative's piss-stick photo?

Not done it yet. Just too tired and not got boy in bed yet. Maybe later (pathetic!). I haz done it though. Honest, Miss.

I like most veggies but not mad keen on sprouts unless they are cooked with pancetta and chestnuts and parsley and I'm inclined to think a vegetable that needs that much doing to it to make it edible is no friend of mine.

Do NOT like bananas though. They can f*ck right off. Oddly have been troughing melon this week when not normally very keen. And becoming a leetle bit obsessed with balsamic vinegar .

I am glad someone has agreed with me about the peas! most people think I am weird, I ask chinese takeaways to give me egg fried rice with no peas. The best veg are courgettes and aubergines and peppers. Roasted of course. Veg are too healthy and need a decent coating of fat.
alps unfortunately the sticks do not lie. I have zero symptoms. Not even pre-droidy ones but I know when I apparently ov'ed so I know droid will turn up on Friday night. Great start to the weekend!
Am supposedly doing housework at the moment. It's not going all that well.

I love sprouts. I had them for my tea.

Am drinking fizzy wine and planning our wedding anniversary party

I luff sprouts too sunny they make me fart like a builder though . In fact I love all veg, weird because when I was a veggie I only really ate quorn, pasta and cheese (for twelve years, was surprisingly slender). When I returned to the omnivores club by palate widened so much that there is now nothing I won't at least try (unsurprisingly significantly plumper now).

ladygonefixatedonvinegar I also heart melon at the moment it's so thirst quenchingly tasty.

FDH and I have had a fashion show in our tesco thermals, mine are grey with black stripes and make me look like a performing artiste who has escaped from somewhere and his are cream ribbed (only ones left) and make him look like Jim-bob-peggy-sue from Hicksville, Tennessee. I hope to God we don't get run over by a bus!

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwllllllllleeeeeeeeee

I thought some of the "ooh we're new honest" jokey stuff was a bit childish to be honest.
boo don't cry! I understand you being upset, but in the grand scheme of things, it's only words on a screen on the internet. It's great to have so much support on here and I love being on this thread. You don't know them though and they don't know you so try not to let it get to you too much. Glad you had a nice day, an Ikea trip is always good - I live near one and frequently go just to eat meatballs! Yes, for those of us who don't have a child yet, it is easy to think you should be thankful for what you have. But I've also had a miscarriage and that would have hurt me just as much even if I had ten kids already.
Think we should entirely ignore new thread and not add fuel to the fire.

Oh, hi boo you are obviously quicker on the uptake than me, have a chinese burn for a reward

Why is nobody else having festive hats? It's the first of December for fucks sake!

Hmm, some emoticons are distinctly less effective with hats on.