Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

Ha! I am now too slippery to be wrestled if a little cold.

boo is the hole the one with a very young Keira Knightly in it? I hate her, especially her teeth. I still have nightmares from horror films I watched twenty years ago and have been labelled a big girl's blouse in my house hold.

Slam dunk - was that that thing that Hulk Hogan et al used to do? I loved that shit when I was a kid!!

Pony I'm with you on horror films - they fuck with my head. I watched on called The Grudge once & couldn't sleep for days. And as for Keira Bitey I just want to wipe that pout of hers right off her face.

Truff & Milano - what's the driod latest??

droid

at sunshine.

sunshine even.

Bad thing - car making massive clunking noise

Good thing - leaving work early and getting it into garage to get fixed plus courtesy car

Am in denile (get it??) about how much it will cost to fix

The Hole wasn't the Keira one, 'twas a kids film out last year by the guy who directed Gremlins.

Am feeling misreable and sorry for myself. Can't even muster up the energy to wrestle. Am going to bed, and will hopefully wake up happier.

Sorry for bad car and droid double trouble Sunshine

Alps don't even start me on that. OF COURSE we had the sechs around what might have been ov but i didn't get any ov symptoms so have no real idea. Have a few PMT symptoms (dropping things, spots, crampyness) so am pretty sure it's the droid. I just wish it would hurry the fuck up.
What about you? Huh? Huh?

Droid arrived today, I appear to have taken this very badly and spent a lot of time this evening balling my eyes out. Am heading straight to the pit, not passing go and not collecting my winnings because I HAVEN'T BLOODY WON.

Oh truffs - am so sorry. :( Would it help if I tossed in Tom Hardy and a bottle of absinthe? (And a pot of your choice of B&J's)

milano Poke away, I never had painful baps before so am not expecting them if I get diffed again. The only bap-related thing I had was about 5 days before POAS I had an orgasm when jailbait just touched my nip. Could've just woken up from an exceptionally good Tom Hardy dream though...

sunshine Tis possible to keep courtesy car and deny all knowledge of previous car and refuse to answer phone?

I even found the Keira/Hole one quite upsetting, it's not a pure horror obviously, but Thora's character was just so utterly manipulative and horrible that it really upset me. [Twat] I dislike Keira - she's claimed to be a great beauty, but I seem to be the only person in the world to have noticed that she walks like Oda Mae Brown - even in that fucking Chanel ad.

Sorry truffs

alps who is Oda Mae Brown? Is she safe to google in work?

Oh Truffs, sad for you.

Oh Truffs

That's just bollocks really innit?

alps have googled am laughing

truffs hope you still have a good weekend away in Ireland, everything I type sounds a bit crap and twee. Is it OK to just give you a chinese burn instead?

Can I have one too Bitey? :o

egyptian burns surely? special double wrist one for truffs and nefertitty tweaks to the rest of you.

oh Truffs, I am sorry.

truffkinny :(
Hope you now get totally sozzled in Oirland - not that it'll make it any better, but still...

kiss the ground for me when you're there will you?

at rocket I kissed the Blarney stone when I went to Ireland. Didn't help am still a tongue tied blushing fool (not looking for sympathy, is true fact, please to see my conference presentations).

I have got a turkey dinner pasty for my lunch. It's like Christmas in pastry and still hot from the baker's oven! nom nom nom nom.

Truff what utter wank TTC can be. Here, have another burn, hair stroke and tweak.

Alpine I got lucky at the garage - the mec-a nic took pity on me and didn't charge me for fixing the noise and replaced a headlight bulb for free

My droid news - I thought it was coming but then it hasn't. POAS this morning & BFN so it's on it's way.

Truffs sorry to hear about droid hope you are in better spirits today. It is really crap, I had a massive cry and sulk over it last month.
Sunshine great news about car, did you just have to smile nicely at them? Crap about bfn though.

I actually love you all (yeah, what of it?) and although today has been Tough Timez (diffed SIL, lots of sprogs, much 'will you be next then? etc) but am having a fab time with my extended in-law family. Things I have to be thankful for:

1. Being able to lie in tomoorow and slink down for lovely Irish hotel breakfast at last possible moment instead of getting up early with sproglets
2. TGB looks very hot today
3. no droid pain so it's almost like it's not really here
4. I have already consumed a lot of alcohol and plan to continue in this vein until Monday evening
5. my BESHes are fucking wicked and get why I was a jibbering wreck rather than judging me

Nipple tweaks, egyptian burns and many, many snogs all round xxxx (yes kisses, wanna make something of it?)

truff OUch @ "when will you be next?" - answers to include "when I can sprinkle baybee dust on my dusty, shrivelled ova"? "Don't worry grandma, TGB's planning to stick his Mickey right up me tonight, TCOYF recommends doggy style."

Pls to keep some semblance of sobriety so you can report back on Tuesday as to what the feeling amongst the people is really like.

sunshine Pls to elaborate? You can haz POAS this morning? Also, pls to explain/describe sexual favours lended to mechanic? When my sister and I were at uni she had a handful of what she called "strategic shags" - one of whom was a mechanic who always gave us a pass for our MOTs despite our decrepid wrecks having to be pushed on to the forecourt.

Am most admiring of strategic shagging! Is punching people in the face an inappropriately aggressive response to the when is it your turn question?

Now then sunny not wishing to fuel menkul but I had two duds and a maybe baybee before getting a winner. Pliz to expand upon symptoms?