First post - Likelihood to conceive at 18?

[Kazine]

I know what you are probably thinking - "Why is this girl trying to conceive at 18, she is just a child herself?" But I do have my reasons for trying to conceive, number one being that a baby is what I want more than anything. Number two being that I suffer from very bad depression, and the idea of a baby is the one thing that keeps me in a consistently happy mood. I wouldn't say that I was still a child myself as I have been through more difficulties in my 18 years than some people go through in a lifetime. I hope you will all treat me as just another mum-to-be trying to conceive!

Now, onto my question. Since I am so young, and my partner is also young, is there a greater chance of me conceiving? I know it can take a while to get pregnant, but I'm just wondering if the process of conception may possibly arrive sooner because of my age? :)

Thanks for your help,
Kazine x

I wouldn't worry MJ, imaginary benefit claimants are remarkably cheap to run

Kazine, upthread you said;

If it all turns out as horribly as you all say it is going to, then I'll put my hands up and admit it was a stupid mistake.

Please attempt to step outside your self-absorbed state (and I say that with sympathy knowing that total self-absorbtion is a symptom of depression) and consider this scenario.

'My mum made a terrible mistake having me. She felt she had nothing to live for before I was born, she hoped that I would change things, but unfortunately, she felt the same way or worse after. She was unable to give me the care that she needed because she still hadn't worked out how to care for herself. And on top of not being cared for I feel terribly guilty that I couldn't make her world better. Still, at least she held her hands up and admitted that I was a stupid mistake'.

Can you in all conscience take that risk with someone else's future?

I say this coming from a family with a history of depression on both sides, and a knowledge of dealing with and caring for people with depression as well as having depression myself. People with depression can make lovely parents. But you're never going to be a lovely parent if you've turned your child into your lifeline before they're even born. I'm very sad that you feel this way. But I'm also very positive that you can find other ways to heal yourself and get yourself into a position where you're actually capable of being a parent. It may feel like hard work to do so but I'm absolutely sure it'll be easier work than trying to do the same process with a baby who has to always be put first.

'Good day to you all'?

You know, I don't think I've ever heard a teenager use that phrase.

If it is real - please try to understand that you're looking at this situation from a typically immature point of view. I don't mean that in a nasty way, just that 18yr olds rarely have the life experience (ie maturity) to understand how their decisions will impact on them in the long term, and that they (in certain circumstances) absolutely must consider how what they do will affect others, like their babies. I'm not saying that young mothers are necessarily bad mothers at all - some young mothers are fantastic role models but it is your responsibility to give your child the best start in life you possibly can.

I think offering your boyfriend up for a full time job to support you and a baby is also very misguided. What about you and your future aims and goals? are you to be lost in motherdom with no future for yourself? What will you do when they child and any subsequent children go to school and you're left with no experience or qualifications to carve a living for yourself rather than be reliant on a (possibly ex) boyfriend? Do you relish the thought of spending your life in a dull job with little pay?

Do you know how hard it is to get a job these days? for your boyfriend, I mean. There are plenty of people out there who treat job searching as a full time job in itself and go years without a sniff.

Anyway, best of luck. If you're real.

"You're 18 yrs old, with no real qualifications, no career, no home of your own, a history of depression and a boyfriend who, despite this, thinks it's a good idea to get you up the duff. Yeh! Go for it, girl!"

heh!

I hope BoF's right.The possibility that the OP is real is worse.

Ok Kazine I'm going to talk to you like an adult who is making rational choices - you get pg then what?
Where will you live? His parents or yours? Or get a house/flat together?

Cloth nappies or disposables?

Baby led weaning or purees? Wait until 26 weeks or start at 17 weeks?

Breastfeeding, expressed breast milk in bottles or formula? Wean from breast at 6 months or let child self wean?

Cry it out or Attachment parenting?

Smacking, naughty step, time outs or?

Pram, travel system, buggy or sling?

Baby carrier car seat or Group 0+/1?

Extended rear face in car seat or flip forward at 9kg?

Co-sleep, bed shared or own room from day 1?

Moses basket, cot, cot bed or crib?

There is so many decisions to make in just the first year. Some of the choices are either/or some aren't, some are important some are parent/child preference. Have you and your partner though this through? If you already have an answer for each of these qs (don't have to tell me!) then you might just be ok. Bu tno matter how planned things are they can still turn around and bite you on the bum. Even the most wanted, adored, doted on and loved baby with everything done the right way can still have a mum with PND.

Kazine I have sent you a private message, hope you don't mind. :)

It's not about what the baby can do for you, it's about what you can do for the baby.

There will be very little about you, anyway, once the baby arrives. It's as you have been reduced to an unpaid 24-hour maid. You need a very strong backbone and self esteem to go through that without harm to anyone. Good luck.

BoF I really hope you are right. I think you probably are, there is a tone.

Kazine I don't think you're telling the truth here, and I will tell you why. I had PND after my DS was born, all cured with medication and non-recurring.
The thought of settling on having a baby as a means of curing depression would send the vast majority of people with depression right over the edge. The sheer anxiety, the thought of getting so little sleep, of never having a moment to yourself. Doesn't it terrify you? Are you so sure of your own parenting skills that you'll be able to cope when you can't even cope with your own life at the moment?

Is there a good chance that this is WWC?

I never saw any of her posts so don't know.

Please can someone in-box me?

Don't want to continue talking about my own depression if it is WWC because I have been to hell and back its all still a bit raw. Don't mind talking about it if it help someone but not if its a troll

memoo I strongly suspect your good intentions are wasted here. Leave it. I don't believe the op is real. She is asking can you concieve at 18. If she doesn't know the answer to that then she obviously doesn't have the maturity to look after a baby, and IF real she is selfish enough to do whatever she likes, whatever words of experience and wisdom she is told. It is someone just shit stiring for something to do. Don't cast your pearls!

Why not start with a goldfish and see how you get on?

What's WWC?

LOL Alice

Freudian, I don't know if we can say on this thread who what WWC is.

Someone that's been here before.

Kazine I honestly can't comment on the depression thing having never suffered it myself (though getting your depression sorted then TTC makes sense to me, but it's your life).

I would just like to say though, that a) if you don't like getting flamed stay well away from the AIBU board. They make this lot look like light weights. b) people here are concerned for you and just want the best for you. and c) you have to remember that there are a lot of (usually) lovely ladies here in conception who have been trying for an awfully long time with no success and feelings can and do often run very high as a result. Some of these people may very well feel upset seeing you swan in say, I'm not well but I'm going to have a baby, do you think it'll happen really soon.

I'm not making excuses for anyone, but think it may explain some of the stupid answers you've been given.