First post - Likelihood to conceive at 18?

[Kazine]

I know what you are probably thinking - "Why is this girl trying to conceive at 18, she is just a child herself?" But I do have my reasons for trying to conceive, number one being that a baby is what I want more than anything. Number two being that I suffer from very bad depression, and the idea of a baby is the one thing that keeps me in a consistently happy mood. I wouldn't say that I was still a child myself as I have been through more difficulties in my 18 years than some people go through in a lifetime. I hope you will all treat me as just another mum-to-be trying to conceive!

Now, onto my question. Since I am so young, and my partner is also young, is there a greater chance of me conceiving? I know it can take a while to get pregnant, but I'm just wondering if the process of conception may possibly arrive sooner because of my age? :)

Thanks for your help,
Kazine x

Thank you to those people who have seen I have made a decision. A decision, in fact, that has rid me of depression and indeed suicidal feelings for the past two days. I am happy.

Secondly, I ask to those who say I am being "selfish" when I say I am ttc, I ask you this; how can dedicating your life to that of another human being possibly be selfish? Since that is what I will be doing, and I am very well aware of it. I will be giving up my young life, giving up university, giving up going out partying. But I have no interest in those things anyway. My partner has the ability to get a full time job as soon as we conceive, if not earlier.

My boyfriend described that having a baby to me would be like a lifeline - I've been suicidal, a lot, and I've known for a while that I have to find something that I actually want to stay in the world for. This is what will keep me here. Someone who needs me. Someone who I can love and care for unconditionally.

Thanks to anyone who understands.

In answer to your question, you are more likely to conceive now then you ever will be again, I would imagine. Women are at their most fertile in their early twenties.

What does your partner think about this? beyond it being a 'lifeline' for you? Is he willing to work to support you and his chikd? Does he feel as excited about the idea of fatherhood and that level of responsibility?

I think it is worth pointing out to you (and I am sure you are mature enough to take this) that being a young mother can be very hard, as presumably you won't have much education, financial security or life experience, and that your age, together with your mental health issues, may make things extra tough - for you and your baby.

Do think this through and take good care of yourself. there are plenty of people you can talk this through with confidentially if you don't want to discuss with your doctor or nurse, including your local Connexions Advisor.

Good uck

I have already spoke about this to two mental health nurses, and I will probably speak about it to the psychiatrist I am being referred to.

Yes, my partner is also excited about it and willing to work. Thanks for your advice.

Kazine, are you taking medication for your depression? If you are there are some that you can't take when you are pregnant, you really need to discuss this with your GP.

I think Kazine is now indeed 'up the duff'!

How extraordinarily exciting, there must be a rollercoaster of emotions rollercoasting somewhere.

Is your partner off to get his 'full time job' now you appear to have conceived?

Yes, citalopram, 20mg. I've done my research online including on this forum and the general consensus seems to be that it is safe to take with pregnancy.

I am seeing my doctor concerning the medication next week, so I will mention it.

Apologies. misunderstood the other thread you are on. Still TTC it seems.

Still TTC, yes. Been feeling a bit sick the past two days, nearly threw up yesterday, but trying not to get my hopes up too much!! :)

I know quite a few people who have been told to get off citalopram once they've found out they were pregnant.

Most of them were switched to sertraline, which is in the same class (an SSRI) but is supposed to be safer.

You can also breast feed on sertraline.

Going to mention it :) Thanks

Kazine, I was on citalopram when I got pregnant with dd. I was told to come off it and took a different one through my pregnancy can't remember what it was called though

Arrrgh.

Look. The fact that you want to give up on a chance of getting education and stay dependant on your boyfriend is one thing.

Thinking that having a baby will cure your depression is another. I'm sorry but it's totally deluded.

Pregnancy and taking care of a baby is likely to make your depression worse. Not as in there's a small chance. It's very likely.

You are in love with the idea of having a sweet little creature that will love you unconditionally. Reality is so very much different. It's very tough taking care of a child, and much tougher if you're depressed, without any perspectives and dependant on someone else for money.

Sigh, yes, yes, I've heard all of this 50 times over on the thread already.

BOF- thought the same but didn't want to say just in case it's true.

If it's not a wind up, good luck to you. You'll need it.

You've got the stroppy teen thing off-pat.

You are immature and selfish and you need to grow up! This is not based on your age btw.

As Jezza would say "think of the child"

kazine, I ended up in a psych hospital after having my DD. I suffered very mild depression before she was conceived but having her sent me over the edge.

Please think very carefully about what you are doing. At least put it off for 6 months so you've had time to really think. I'm concerned that from your post it seems you've just come up with this idea in the past couple of days

It's not a wind up. I did spent a whole day yesterday thinking over everything people had said on this thread. It's not like I just completely shrugged off all the advice - I thought about it all. But I've still come to the same conclusion. It is still what I want. It is still what is making me happy. So I'm going with it.

No I haven't had the idea within the past couple of days. It has been months.

Sorry to be blunt, the last thing a baby needs is a suicidal depressive teen mum, who views it as a short cut to solving all her problems.

I sympathise with the need to have a baby, but we have a responsibility to make sure there's some stability in our lives before a baby comes along. I hope for you're babies sake it all turns out alright, as this reads like a disaster waiting to happen. God knows what the services involved with you are thinking, they are probably horrified.

Kazine, do you think you fully appreciate how hard it is having a baby?

I think it's worth saying that you can have a history of depression and still be a good mum.

Also at 18, you can still be a good mum.

But I think it's important to have the right support in place around you.

You are more at risk of PND. There is no question about it. And the "screaming, vomiting ball of need" as someone put it, will not solve your depression.

Have you got supportive family / friends around you that can help you with the baby? Being isolated after having a baby can be a huge thing, and will increase your risk of depression greatly.

Just to add - I had severe depression, and I love being a mum now. I have a very happy little girl. How I would have fared at 18 though, I just don't know.

Kazine, if you are going to be a good parent you need to get into the habit of assessing what will be best for your child and not for yourself. 'It will make me happy' isn't going to cut it from now on.

I'm not attacking you but, seriously...think about it some more...