First post - Likelihood to conceive at 18?

[Kazine]

I know what you are probably thinking - "Why is this girl trying to conceive at 18, she is just a child herself?" But I do have my reasons for trying to conceive, number one being that a baby is what I want more than anything. Number two being that I suffer from very bad depression, and the idea of a baby is the one thing that keeps me in a consistently happy mood. I wouldn't say that I was still a child myself as I have been through more difficulties in my 18 years than some people go through in a lifetime. I hope you will all treat me as just another mum-to-be trying to conceive!

Now, onto my question. Since I am so young, and my partner is also young, is there a greater chance of me conceiving? I know it can take a while to get pregnant, but I'm just wondering if the process of conception may possibly arrive sooner because of my age? :)

Thanks for your help,
Kazine x

I am attacking you.

Because your selfishness is breathtaking.

Yes, wannabe is right.

Having a baby when you are depressed is very very very difficult. REALLY more difficult than you can imagine, and not a good idea, for you and baby, your age is not the factor here.

But I think I may have to go and put the washing on.

Anyone got any advice for me on how I should do it?

Tether, do you have nothing better to do?

'and tbh if you are so determined to have a baby you are going to have to toughen up a little bit because you are going to get a lot of people questioning your decision.'

Yes, I know.

No, not really.

Washing's done now.

I was careful, thanks BTP.

Kazine if you are a genuine poster, I am very sorry you are getting abuse on here.

I was trying to say that I know the hell of depression, and I also know what it's like to get better and to enjoy being a mum.

For someone to see me at my worst and to say I didn't deserve my DD, that would have been crushing, and actually untrue.

I believe you can be a good mum. But please get the support behind you first, some life experience, and your depression under control. You have plenty of time.

You are putting your own needs before your (potential) child's and condemning them to a lifetime of being your only reason to live.

That does not make for a happy child, believe me.

I was in a similar situation to you when I got pregnant at 18 (though I wasn't planning to). I'd been very depressed as a teenager, had always been broody and when I did end up pregnant, I thought that having a baby would give my life meaning, someone to love, someone that loves me etc etc.

All I can say is that I was very naive. Having a child was absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done. I also ended up in a psychiatric hospital and attempted suicide twice within the first two years of my DD's birth. I also thought very seriously about killing both of us, as I loved her so much but wanted to die.

Thankfully a combination of therapy, medication and sheer determination to get out of my depression and associated issues paid off and things are great now. But what will you do when you are again, suicidally depressed (as is likely) BUT you have the guilt of having a baby too, who will either have to suffer owing to your illness, or suffer from being without a mother, since having a baby will not prevent you from killing yourself, however much you love them.

Kazine, why can't you try and get your depression under control first and then TTC, whats the hurry?

I conceived my first child on my 18th birthday,unplanned.I had a good job and a committed partner (we're still together and I'm nearly 43) I had never had depression before but suffered severe pnd.I coped and my relationship survived but it was the most awful experience.
Having a baby is tough, you need to be in the best position possible before conceiving.It won't make you feel better but could make you feel a whole lot worse.
Take time to get yourself well, have fun, live your life, save some money and then be a mum would be my advice.

GetDown, the anger in my posts is not because I think Kazine's not real, it's because I fear she is.

I have suffered from crushing depression, both before DD and PND.

I have also seen what happens to children who are conceived as a remedy for parents' needs.

Selfish, selfish, silly girl.

"Kazine, why can't you try and get your depression under control first and then TTC, whats the hurry?"

It's a really intense things, wanting this baby. Without it I don't even want to get my depression under control. And I'm being serious. Those who have had depression will probably know.

What total rot.
Depresion doesn't work like that my dear

yeah I know tethersend. Just didn't want it to seem like we were saying depression means you don't deserve a child.

That's just not true.

I think I've answered all your questions.

I might be back here if I do conceive. Time will tell.

Thanks to those who have offered me genuine advice. To those who attacked me and acted pathetic and frankly immature, it's your children I feel sorry for, not mine.

Good day to you all.

Have you been on the mental health board Kazine? There are many mums on there living with depression. Maybe get a bit of advice first. Also it would be best to get your medication sorted first and speak to your psychiatrist.

BOF

I hope BoF's right, I really do.

I am shocked and saddened that in this day and age, having a baby as /something to love/give you a reason to live/ make you feel better is still being trotted out

babies don\t give you anything

they take take take

they take your body, your sleep, your choices, your wants and needs and ask for more and more

how will this make you and keeo you better?

'good day to you all'???

Lulu- I don't think she's real.