Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all, laughing. All welcome (Part 7)

[MamaPower]

A comfy little corner for those who need company in the post mc ttc journey!

To POAS or not to POAS? That is the question!

All welcome

It was 3 weeks after the bleeding stopped for me, digi so about 5 weeks from date of mc - and v.sorry to see you back in here, hope you're okay my lovely. ((large squishy hug))

I'm going to track down some grapefruit juice tonight. Not going to tell Mr Shoes what it's for, though, as he will think I am mental. He would probably be right as well

Afternoon all,

mummya awww at your pirate lol.
kat hmmm grapefruit juice, i will give it a go.
Everyone else hello and hope we are all bearing up.

I am a proper moaner today. I just feel really, really negative and I know its my fault cos i did that stupid test on saturday and it was a BFN.

I am on CD23 today so what did I do on my way to work, oh yeah thats right I did another test and it was BFN. So now, im snappy and moany and feeling utterly sorry for myself.

I know I cant rule myself out untill AF arrives but mentally I think I have now. My only glimmer of hope is that I am still testing too early. I have no symptoms either way, I feel normal. Just annoyed.

Someone slap me now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I please have some temping advice? I do it lying down, first thing I do when I wake up, are you supposed to do that or doesn't it really matter?

Hi Nix, Yes, it is important. It should be the first thing you do after opening your eyes while you are still lying down, try to make as little movement as possible, literally open your eyes, reach over and pop the themometer in. I niavely tried to do what the TCOYF recommends and get DH to lovingly put in it my mouth for me - err he wasnt very good at it, he either overslept and needed me to shake him awake or nearly had my eye out cos his sleepy aim for my mouth wasnt very good , so we gave that idea up pretty quickly!!

Moving around raises your body temperature, so you will get lots of "false" high readings and it will make your chart difficult to read.

A big hug for you inbetweener, that rollercoaster of hope/disappointment is horrible, hope you are not on it for too long. xxx

That sounds really lame!! I pressed post without thinking! What I mean is, does it matter if I get up and about first, or should it be the first thing you do? Noticing sone fluctuations now on cd 7 so must be doing something right! Starting with gf juice in a day or two!

Have decided to not obsess, yeah right, and to be not bothered, then ds made those brother comments, which put me under pressure again

Hi All, Finally i can join this tread,and maybe get some advice along the way.
I MMC back on the 22nd of sepetember, i was 14 weeks, baby had died at 8 weeks.
My AF finally arrived the 27th of October, around 5 weeks later, lasting only 3 days(normal)
I have to have my rubella injection this friday as i found i was none immune whilst being pg.
Any advice on when i should start to think about trying again, i have to wait four weeks after my rubella to try again.
My periods are generally like clock work,28 days, i will probably know more my next period, well hopefully.
Im 33 this christmas so im frantically trying to get pg before that 35 looms ever closer!!

Thanks mummy ! Wasn't sure if I was doing it right, but yes! Setting alarm on days off, I know that sounds daft but that way I wont get stressed about it, it was making me stressed as I can't see therm reading in the dark, and I have to get up to put on the light to check I have a reading! bed therm which lights up preferably!

Mummy that's hilarious.. Nope don't fancy dh doing that, I like being able to see!! You sure you doing it orally????!!!

Thanks for the tips :)

rach 33 is fine.

Some of us are close to 37.......mutters.....whimpers......bursts into tears.

Seriously though good luck for trying again and ((((()))))))) for your loss. I havent been here long but they are very nice.

Im currently on a full on self pity mode day after testing twice ( too early ) and getting BFN's. Im now clinging to the hope that I have misjudged my cycle length and actually I am due AF next monday rather then saturday. ALthough actually that means I will have misjudged my ovulation too................bugger.

back to Doom.

Oh and Holly Willoughby announced she is pg again too this morning.

Hi rach, I'm really sorry for your loss. Mine was 14 weeks baby died 8 and 1/2 too. There is really good advice about TTC again here (the whole site is great actually, hit "home" and then have a snoop around.)

I went through "the fear of 35" thing. I was 34 turning 35 when pregnant and it was amazing how doctors attitudes changed when the number 35 came up. Plus every book and website you read scaring you witless too about increased dangers, its hard not to get freaked out. What I have realised now though is that for every doctor who thinks 35 is over the hill there are two more who dont. Also, you do have time on your side, if you have regular periods like you say then you have 25 whole cycles ahead of you before 35, thats plenty of time to catch a bean

Thanks inbetweener and mummyabroad.
i will be checking out that site for avice, ive been trawling the net for what now feels like years! trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant, losing baby, and then trying again....
us women, we have so much to contend with!!

I didnt feel the "35" feeling until i actually got preganant and was asked,
is this your first preganancy and some reactions along the way...
and like you said mummyabroad read lots of scary stories.

I actually made the choice and waited till the age iam now before trying, ive been with my husband for 16 years and only just got married this may, then got pregnant the very following month, and it felt like my little life plan had worked.
Now after my mmc, i have alot more things to contend with, the age thing is just a samll factor in my fear, i think after a mc the fear in general is pretty high...

Thanks again for the advice, sorry for both of your losses. x

Hi rach I'm so sorry you've had to find your way here, but welcome to the thread x

will keep my fx for you that AF continues to arrive when she's supposed to, sounds like your body's doing a great job of getting back to normal so far, and that you don't have to stay here too long.

I'm also nearing 35 (next March) but am trying not too stress about this. 35 is not old!! (repeat several times)

I'm on cd27 here and really hoping AF doesn't arrive any time soon. UCL is 26-29 since mc (pre-mc AF always arrived on day 29, in the afternoon but am not holding out hope of any such regularity right now!) but since I only ov'd on cd23 I really would like to see a bit of a delay! Not holding out hope of a bfp as didn't time it right, but would love to see a luteal phase approaching normal this month!

digi my WTF was 30 days btw. Hope yours gets back to normal soon x

oohhh all the termanolgy is slightly freaking me out...

what does cd27,clu all mean?? im not very up on this, i managed to get pregnant the first time without really charting... pot luck some may call it!!!

Izzy I'm about a month behind you and resigned to being an aged and decrepit parent (if I ever actually get to be a parent). 35 is most definitely NOT old. :)

Rach welcome & sorry you've had to join us - Don't give in to the panic! This thread is followed by the grads thread so there's lots of support for the whole journey.

CD is cycle day by the way :)

I wouldn't explore the charting etc too much right now; I made that mistake and it put far too much pressure on me in those first few wobbly post-mc months. Take it easy; treat yourself nicely and enjoy the 4 weeks while you're waiting :)

Thanks owlshoes, it will be quite nice to have a break from it all.

Hope i havent offended anyone with my "35" comments, im very new to this, and have found this site a source of huge comfort over the last 6 weeks or so. x

Welcome rach, sorry for your loss but I hope we can make what you're going through a bit easier. I'm 39, and had my first ds at 36 so really don't worry about the age thing

I'm in a similar place to you inbetweener. Af due a week today and madly symptom spotting, although in all honesty there are none to spot. Still, it ain't over til the fat lady sings and all that, so fx crossed and hang in there x

I'm feeling really sad for lily Allen . I mean she's a celeb and I don't know her but how awful to lose a baby that late and to have newspapers reporting it and radio talking about it. No one's immune, eh.

Also, I've been putting data into fertility friend (except temps). When do I get a nice line through my dates? Is it when af arrives?

Hello to everyone else! X

Lilly Allen.... 6 months too :(

jam you get a line on ff about 3dpo, it waits for three consecutive high temps to confirm ov.

rach sorry for posting in gibberish! For the record, UCL = usual cycle length, CD = cycle day, WTF = that first "cycle" post-mc which isn't quite a normal cycle - so named because anything can happen! I also had a mmc, in July at 16 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 14) and the ERPC at what would have been 17 weeks, so I've had my WTF cycle plus 3 more and to be honest I'm starting to think in acronyms now! Please shout if it all starts to sound like nonsense again.

And I do know what you mean about finding all the charting etc a bit bewildering, and second owlie's comments about not getting caught up in it straight away. I didn't realise I was pg last time until 6 weeks and didn't have a clue when my last AF was! Wish I could be so blasé this time but it just feels different now . Also, I think one of the scariest things about mc was the lack of control I felt about it all - there's nothing you can do and I just felt so powerless. So I think the temping etc is a bit of a reaction to that - just trying to regain some sort of control over it all - does that make sense?

mummya - that made me laugh re the thermometer, all I get from DH is one eye opening when he hears the beeping, followed by mumbling along the lines of "you're mental, you are" and straight back to sleep!

how awful about Lily Allen I didn't even know until read it on this thread.

I laughed re. Izzys DH's mumbling at the thermometer beep "you're mental you are" Don't think my DH would "lovingly put the thermometer" in for me either!

I find it helps to keep it under my pillow, then I don't even have to reach far to get it. Can also shove it back under quickly so the beeping is stifled!!

I do quite enjoy charting in a control freakish empowered kind of way. I even charted for a while while we weren't TTC, just because I found it useful to know exactly when AF was going to arrive. But I don't shout about it, even to DH - who probably thinks it's a bit strange!

Hmm, maybe because I don't temp I'm not going to get a nice line . Oh well, I'm mainly using ff so I can put my imaginary symptoms into the pregnancy predictor. I'm on a 32% chance for this month so far, so the odds are definitely not in my favour!

Hi Rach sorry you have to join us.

To add my bit to the temping discussion, I have been getting up first and then temping but mine are all still pretty low so it hasnt made much difference to me. Questions tho - will it me noticably higher at ov or just 0.1 or 0.2 degrees?

Velvetcu you shouldn't really get up first before you take your temp!

I find before ov. 36.4 and below is normal for me, and after ov. 36.7 and above is normal. But there are fluctuations.. I think there needs to be a shift of at least 0.2 degrees.

jam sorry didn't realise you weren't temping, sorry, not sure what it does for opks etc

velvet my temps are around 36.1-36.2 before ov and go up to about 36.4-36.6 afterwards if that helps. It doesn't sound like a huge difference but actually does look quite noticeable on the graph. Until ov though the graph looks nothing special, so don't worry if you're not there yet.

I'm another one who only picked up the Lily Allen news here - that's so sad

Izzy I'm definately not there yet seeing as my last cycle was 42 days!! My temps are really low at 35.9-36.1
This is only a half-arsed attempt at temping to find out generally what's going on. Am half-arsed SWIing too coz I would like a drink on my 30th (although of course I would prefer a BFP!!)

I am sooo sad for Lily Allen - I love her!

at Lilly Allen news. I wouldnt have known if it werent for MN either.

While we are temp talking again, I forgot to tell Nix that I never bother(ed) looking at the temp at the time of taking it. As long as you switch it off right it stores the temp for you so you can just go back to sleep and look at it later.

Velvet I agree with GetDown, its your basal body temperature which you need to measure, that is your first waking temp, as soon as you get up your temperature rises and you cant really see the difference between normal temp on ov and normal temp not ov. IUSMIM

2 more days and I will be temping again...

Shit does that mean I am hot stuff then ? Temps around 36.2 plus already!! Catch up prop later, busy day, evening of shitty work to do accompanied by a sainos curry meal for two, not had before but 6.99 can't beat it for 2 courses!!

My happy thought from yesterday..... Bought ds some cheap matalan jeans to diss about it ( ace at fiver per pair and massive!) nearly died at the counter when got charged 1.25 per pair!! Practically ran out the shop in glee... Never one to turn down a bargain