Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all, laughing. All welcome (Part5)

[PrettyVacant1]

Open to all,join us in this corner to support each other,POAS, temp check and reach our BFP goal.
(Fish slapping optional.)

Ahhh, very wise

Thank you mamap

Huge namecheck post as I've been away for a weekend - hope i've not missed anything important...

kat2504 thanks ? it was just one day?s bleed so I?ve not started counting again?.

MammaPower - agree on the sudden recent flurry of birth announcements?. I was really hoping to be pregnant again when my first missed due date came round (29th Oct) and now everyone who is due then is commenting on their countdown to finish work etc etc?.. it?s so difficult but I definitely don?t begrudge them their joy/babies ? I just want it for myself?

MA - I like kat ?s answer although I?m afraid I have nothing useful to add myself

LadyBee - blimey we are living our lives in parallel ? most of your dates line up with mine (although I?m not off to India and not at all jealous ? oh no, not me, jealous, never?.) sorry you had such a horrible time at hospital ? it?s amazing how the brain stores things away and then lets them out just when you think you?ve got used to everything?.

owlshoes loved D:ream when I was at school ? ruined by the Labour party though IMO :)

Velvet any update on the brown goo/POAS?

hairy new bike sounds good ? I cycle to/from work every day and love it (especially as I?m in London and there is a tube strike looming. Also re POAS while AFing having had the ectopic I now have to do this ? I had an AF and thought I wasn?t pregnant but the AF was because it was in the tube?. Can?t trust my body any more :( Actually that reminds me that I didn?t when I had the post-ERPC AF? will do one tomorrow just for the hell of it although I don?t feel remotely PG and if I am it?ll be bad news / ectopic again?.

PFF sorry that AF has turned up?.

Welcome appleblossoms and Jamface

Jamface after my ERPC I had an AF after 5 weeks and then another random bleed a week after that ? so I?ve no idea what my body is up to at the moment ? it?d love it to stabilize out again?. It was much less badly behaved after the ectopic?.!

Speaking of people going missing has anyone seen Honeywitch recently ? I don?t think she?s posted since her body played the evil trick of a BFP and then AF on her during the WTF cycle (apologies for all the acronyms?)

SarahMia I?m so sorry to hear your news

nickster oooh Kendal mintcake haven?t had any of that for years? thank you :)

largeginandtonic sorry the WTF cycle is messing you up ? I think the only thing to do is to wait it out unfortunately? although YES you do have to test just to be sure. Maybe DH being away is a good length of time for your body to totally normalise again

Dachs good luck and fingers crossed for everything ? including the dinner/DH murdering?

Caribou > I?m sure you needed your big cry and hopefully it helped?.

BOA sorry about the piano

I?m going to get out my ovulation sticks and do some testing this week ? although no idea what my body is up at the moment? DH is thinking it?s not worth SWI this month after the bleed last week?. But I think it can?t be a bad thing so might have to do some persuading :)

Also DH has bought me two sessions at a Reflexologist so I?m going to do one of them this week - something to look forward to :)

half hour ago I was feeling positive and chirpy.

Now I just want to wish my weeks away for BFP's.

I feel like the frustrated guinea pig that goes into a depression.

I already have 2 lovely DS's - I feel wrong for wanting to wish time away on a possible no 3 when I should feel happy with the two beautiful boys I have, and that in turn makes me feel guilty, not just for them but for all the ladies struggling to have BFP#1.

I feel like such a bitch, like I am not happy with the 2 I have, and greedy, and selfish wanting to TTC again.

Is this normal?!

Hi all, mind if I join this thread? I just had early miscarriage confirmed this afternoon at 7 weeks.

Not sure what my stats are now or how long we'll wait until trying again. They suggest waiting for a period. What did you all do?

Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 0(after MC) UCL 32 CD??

Wombat so sorry to hear about your mc hope you are taking good care of yourself. No matter how early it is, it's still mightily hard to deal with. Hope you have lots of support around you to get through the next few days. I had an ERPC five weeks ago. I've just got my period. I didn't do anything to prevent a pregnancy in the meantime though. Figured a period would be better but I wasn't going to waste any opportunities. In anycase I felt so rubbish for a while that there wasn't much risk if you know what I mean. Certainly didn't see the point of going on pill just for a month when I knew I wanted to ttc again. Talk to your doc and your partner and do what you think is best for you.

caribou hope you have had a much better day today. Sometimes it is like two steps forward and a big step back. But letting it out is surely a good thing long term.

knitter well surely DH will go for S without I! Let him off with just one a day or a few a week and you might get lucky anyway. Interested to hear about reflexology, have been tempted to go for that not sure though cos I have very ticklish feet!

sfb You are not selfish at all! It's perfectly ok to be thankful for what you do have but at the same time want another. It isn't greedy to want three,plenty of people have three kids. It doesn't mean that you aren't happy with the two that you have just because you are trying for another.

Finding being back at work ok after a few days. It is massively tiring because I'm still not sleeping brilliantly but it has taken my mind off my moping around. Only prob is I had previously mentally prepared for starting a school year knowing I would only have to do less than half of it. Now I think I'll most likely end up seeing the year out unless I'm lucky enough to get a BFP very soon. Oh well, my classes seem nice enough so far.

Hi girls thanks for your lovely messages. Unfortunately not my best ever day. Was fine until the guy that sits behind me casually announced he's working from home tomorrow as his wife has her 12 week scan for dc#2 and everyone was saying how exciting that was. It got me feeling like a complete loser-that everyone else manages to get pg and get to their 12 week scan without any problems, and I can't imagine being anything but petrified when I eventually get there. Of course I know that everyone else doesn't actually get there but sometimes, like today, I feel like I'm surrounded by people that for them being pregnant has been nothing but easy and joyful. So I started crying but got to the toilets before anyone noticed. Trouble is a few minutes spent sobbing and retching in the toilets meant that I looked a complete state by the time I got back and one of the other guys noticed and gave me a hug and was being really nice which made me even worse. He kept asking what was wrong but I couldn't say anything as all I would have been able to say is that my little bean died 3 months ago and why is it fair that I didn't get to have an exciting happy scan too :( am so not looking forward to him coming back on the office on weds with his scan pics for everyone to coo at :( I don't begrudge his happiness at all, just feeling sorry for myself and can't stop wondering why it happened to me and my DH and not him. I guess at least I can't see his wife's bump growing and growing...

So sorry for ranting here, just wanted to get it out to some people that understand. I really thought I'd be over this so much more but since AF came back it's like I'm back to square one. I wasn't even like this when I first went back to work...

Hi wombat so sorry for your loss I hope you have lots of RL support around you in these difficult early days. You're very welcome to the thread although - for obvious reasons - I hope your stay here is short.

I don't know if you've had a natural mc or medical management or ERPC; I had an ERPC at 17 weeks after a mmc discovered at 16 wk appointment ANC the surgeon told me to wait two cycles. I checked with the nurses afterwards and they told me this was just for dating purposes and we could start as soon as the bleeding stopped if we felt ready. We did try again straight away but tbh I was slightly relieved when my first AF arrived; I don't think I really felt quite ready. All guns blazing now though!

sfb I know how you feel; I also have two wonderful children already, but am desperate for a third. Oddly enough before my last PG (very much a surprise, albeit welcome) we were starting to say that the age gap was getting too big and we ought to start taking precautions again. And I thought I was really ok with that. But the one thing poor DC3 showed me was that I really did want a third baby. I love DD and DS to pieces, I know I'm incredibly lucky to have them and I do feel blessed. That does not change how I feel about a third baby though, and that does make me feel guilty and ungrateful .

PFF (((((hugs))))). That's really tough to deal with. Tbh I'm not sure i'd even have a 12 wk scan if there is a next time, and I find it hard going hearing about other peoples. Hope you feel better soonx

tigger how do I see your msg. Sorry to be thick

Hello lovely ladies, we went to France for the wkd with no Internet and it's just taken me 1 1/2 to catch up on this thread. This really is such a great thread full of lovely kind people, even on the days when I only have time to lurk I find it a wonderful source of strength and support.

sarahmia I'm so sorry to heard your sad news x

PFF sorry about your crap day, I'm so sick of people telling me they're pregnant and 'they weren't even really trying' as if they have to brag about how super f**king fertile they are.

wombat big hugs, sorry you're here.

ladybee your posts are great, I'm so impressed that you manage to mention so many of us.

Well my news is that RTD arrived yesterday but this is good cos it means I can start clomid (100mg this time) which should most definitely make my rubbish ovaries ovulate. I'm determined to give this month my best shot so I'm cutting out booze, caffeine and chocolate, I'm planning to eat healthily, get loads of sleep and get pg. I honestly don't know how much longer I can go on ttc, it's been 20 months, I've only managed to get pg once in that time and then had mc. I adore DD and feel blessed to have her but I'd prefer her not to grow up as an only child. Sorry, long self-centred rant.... Posh French biscuits anyone??

reallygrumpy hope you had a lovely time in France. Where did you go?

PFF sounds like you've had a horrible day. It is hard to hear about other peoples pregnancies/scans/babies etc. It does seem desperately unfair. And you are right, AF coming back doesn't help. It's another reminder that you aren't pg anymore. There's no time scale for feeling ok. You have to take your time and be kind to yourself.
I'm sure if I am lucky enough to get pg again, the very word "scan" will be enough to strike fear into my heart.

yum yum thanks reallygrumpy Glad you got RTD and can now feel a bit in control of whats going on, fingers, toes, and legs all crossed for you xxxx

Welcom wombat I am TTC without having got AF. I am mainly doing it because my mc was so long and awful (its been 5 months since we found out that the baby had no heartbeat. I was 14 weeks but baby stopped growing at 8) so I feel emotionally ready to start again now. Just need my body to catch up!!! Also I am 35 and the ticking clock is now deafening...

Here are two great things to read to help you make the decision.

www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm.

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/06/bmj-advice-for-women-who-miscarry

take good care of yourself, dont forget to drop big hints to your loved ones that choccies, wine, pressies in general all help tremendously!

I would love to do a LadyB and write to everyone but I have some guests over taking up all my internet time.I will try and pack them off to the beach and catch up with you later.

miss you all!
xxxxxxxxx

Sarah the message should get sent to whatever email address you registered for mumsnet with.

Just read back a bit, Pink, I am so sorry you had such a rough day. If I were in your postion I would be tempted to say "I lost a baby a while back, its still hard for me sometimes." I find that people are often quietly sympathetic and/or feel so akward they naturally give you the space you need.

Sometimes you end up crying more when you try hide your feelings but if you say something about whats happening you suddenly find its passed and you are in control again.

love and hugs xxxxxx

Oh Wombat :( welcome to our merry band but I'm ever so sorry to see you here having only just left you on the May bus I waited one cycle before TTC again but that was mainly because my head wasn't up to it before then.

PFF sounds like you've had a rotten day; here, you might need this: They're braver than I would be, announcing a 12 week scan before it's happened. It will be your turn soon and full-on mentalling for the first 12 weeks is completely normal when you've spent time in here :)

grumps good news on the Clomid - fingers crossed for month 21. Biscuits, you say? French?

sfb - perfectly normal and not at all greedy/selfish/anything else bad. It seems there's a load of mixed up feelings that come with mc and that's definitely one of them others with DCs have mentioned. As one of the ones with no DCs trust me, we're all in this together :)

Knitter reflexologist sounds like a fine plan, I'm going for a massage tomorrow. Pamper, ladies, pamper! We deserve it.

MummyAbroad I hear that clock too. I will be 35 early next year, DH is 41 shortly. If only we'd met 5 years earlier - oh well, que sera sera etc.

MA & Owl, I'm also 35 next year and it's something that does play on my mind! Tick tock, tick tock...shut up!!

PS Owl I think the fact 35 is around the corner explains the D-ream thing!! ha ha - love it!

pink I'm sorry that today was crap. Let's hope it'll soon be us experiencing that joy x

Hi Wombat, sorry you are having to join us but pull up a sofa and make your self comfy, hopefully for not too long.

sfb I'm trying for my first and I don't resent you or anyone else trying for their 2nd or 3rd (or even 4th), it's the fact that you want one and you have suffered in the same way as us all. don't beat yourself up. We're all trying to achieve the same thing x

Grumpy hope the clomid does the trick.

Dachs Hope all goes well tomorrow.

Night all, hugs to those who need 'em x

Hi all, mmm tick tock goes the biological clock... same here 35 nxt year.

wombat sorry for your loss, and you find yourself here, its the best place to be.

Fondant - PANTS PANTS PANTS! Some people are just so insensitive!! I am finding this a lot too... everywhere i fu*king turn there are big swollen bellies! Scan pictures on bookface, i cant even bring myself to go on there anymore! Cant remember the last time i updated status! Talking about it may help. Do you have a nice colleague who you could whisper to, who may ask them to be a little more tactful?

Shove over in the grumpy corner Fondant I is coming to join you.
grumps good that RTD arrived, for the right reasons iyswim?

rant alert Went to tesco tonight, did a small shop, came out with trolley into the pouring rain/dark, nearly got ran over by a car, then just decided to have a total meltdown in the car! Havent cried for a while, and i sobbed!

Izzy SFB dont feel guilty. AS with us all, its our right to want to have a child, to also want to know why the hell we havent achieved it and to want to succeed. I am blessed to have DS and he keeps me strong, but i also want a sibling for him more than anything! The frustration knows no bounds.

God miserable shitty mood tonight, pass the biccies, folks am off for a soak, to finish my book, ignore the DH and to huddle up in under the duvet and try not to dread tomorrows meeting!

Note to caribou hope you are feeling better today, dont watch MARLEY AND ME! You will sob. (she says reading a book about a MC!)

Knitter glad u enjoyed the virtual mintcake hope it gives u energy for 4 x day!

hairy BOA how are the zits? Mine seem better having had a wkend inthe sunshine! Facial hair though,,,,,, jesus!

Ha made myself smile - night all x

nickster I totally understand about bookface! I have had all the usual pics/updates about a recent newborn, and lots of nauseating how great is my little one status updates. I'm glad they are happy honestly, but it does touch a raw nerve. Sorry you had a hard time in tescos, it can get you unexpected at times I suppose. What's your meeting? I hope it goes well. What are you reading?

My attempts to be healthier this month in anticipation of possible conception have failed tonight due to the lure of wine. It has helped with the RTD pains though at least :) And I did remember the vitamins so that might make up for it.

Wombat thinking of you still. The first night is the worst. You sound like you are being very strong and positive already.

Is the facial hair just one of those being over 30 things? I wasn't bothered by it till last year now I have to have tweezers at the ready! grrrrrrrr

Hi peeps
Its hard to catch up in here. Things move so fast!!

First of all Sarahmia I´m also really sorry to hear whats happened and really feel for you. Don´t lose hope. We are all thinking of you.

have been feeling sick all day. So even though its day 24 I went out at lunchtime and got a POAS. The clearblue one said you can do it 4 days before. It was a BFN. But I read tonight should have been morning pee. Waste of 8 euros.... maybe there is still hope?!
Anyone done this before.
Im trying to comfort myself with the fact that the small print said 4 days before (well in my case its 3 days as Im on 24 of UCL 27) is 52% correct.
I feel exactly like last time. nervous, churned up, tired (i went to be from 6-9pm after work!) have a funny tummy but no signs of AF.
OMG - Im turning into a real psycho.

somebody just hacked my facebook so had to change my password. I was nosy and read a friends post which she didnt understand and suddenly got a status update. all very strange.just happened to another friend too so I hope I kicked it away.

think i deserve a big fish slap for my post

choccy sorry about bfn. Think you did test too early though. To avoid wasting money you should wait six days and do it again. The waiting is wayyyy too hard though :) But at 52% odds you may as well flip a coin. I do hope you get the result in a few days. if you are going to spend on the proper tests not the internet cheapies then first response has a better percentage at four days early. Is better to wait for AF day though. Not that I can talk I did two tests before mine came.

Thanks Kat - it was the only one in the German drugstore at lunchtime apart from cheapy ones, which didnt say anything about early testing.
Will see if theres First Response here, otherwise I might have a look at ebay or get my sister to send me some from UK. She works in a chemist.
This waiting game is soooooo hard.
Sure Im a bit sad about BFN BUT the good thing is - we´re off on holiday to Greece in a couple of weeks. I cant quite imagine being on holiday, esp in all incl. without drinking cocktails, wine and stuff.
sooooooooo who knows.
Either working on a baby there after cocktails
or
no alcohol.

Hi Chockybic,

Do Amazon deliver to Germany? You can get about a million tests for 8 euros
and when its a BFN you can tell yourself it was too early AND it was not sensitive enough (takes the sting out of it a bit)

but anyway... slapity slap slap!

xxxxxxxxxxxx