The Bus Stop - Waiting to TTC (part 3)

[bebejones]

New thread ladies! :)

Old one here

Will go get the list.....

Yup - I sort of live in Bath. At the moment we are only there Friday, saturday and Sunday nights and have to be in London for work during the week but I am working on changing that very soon!!!

I'm actually going to the spa on Sunday with a friend whilst DH and her DH look after her 9mo DD. Hoping that some time with DH's friend and Daughter will make him see fatherhood as something wonderful he want's to be a part of asap !!!

Am also excited about this weekend as we are going to use the raclett that my DSis bought us for xmas last year. Very 80's a know but I love the whole cooking your own food thing as it's means that I don;t have to spend half the day slaving in the kitchen!!! I am also a real lover of melted cheese......... mmmmmmmmm salivating at the thought of it!

What is everybody else up to this w/e?

Going to be (read as DH is going to be ) sorting out the spider infested under stairs cupboard & also the garden! Oh the glamour! :o Have just discovered blackberries in our garden so shall be making an apple & blackberry crumble too, yum!

Fingers crossed about your DH JS! :)

Hello all...happy Friday (the 13th - spooky)!

I've taken the day off to work on my dissertation, which is coming along painfully. 19 days until my life is back to normal!

Sorry if this is TMI, but I am very excited to have started withdrawal bleeding yesterday after coming off the pill on Monday. A bit of a strange thing to get excited about, but it makes our TTC plans seem a little more real.

I've also made a pre-conception appointment with the GP, moved my next dental appointment up to pre-TTC, and made my last pre-TTC hair appointment so that I won't need highlights in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. The books I've ordered have arrived (What to Expect and TCOYF), which has become another distraction from my dissertation...

All very exciting!

I'm impressed with everyone's fitness routines. I'm trying to do more yoga and swimming, but my normal workout is a half hour on the cross-trainer and a bit of strength training.

I also love OBEM, and it has made me consider having a water birth, as everyone who did that seemed so much calmer than the others. I need to research more, but I would like to try a natural birth. Has anyone made that decision for sure yet?

Amanda I hadn't heard that about caffeine and breastfeeding, but it makes sense. I haven't decided for sure yet what I'll do, but I think I'm going to cut caffeine completely.

Madame and Bebe, good luck with the talks with OHs...hopefully they will surprise you and be ready/supportive!

DH has just told me a friend is coming to visit on Sat, so all boring house stuff will have to wait til Sunday! :o

WhyWait - I have heard good things about Cheltenham. The lady in the next bed to me at Stroud had transferred there from Cheltenham as Stroud was nearer her home. I was given a choice of Stroud, Gloucester, Cheltenham or Bristol when I had DD. Wouldn't go to Southmead in Bristol if you paid me!
That reverse crunch looks good, I might have to give that a go! Thanks for that :)

Mrs - Good luck with dissertation, what's it on? You sound super organised with all these pre-TTC appointments! :o I have arranged a dental appt just before we plan to TTC. As you get maternity exemption for dental treatment I'm hoping I'll manage to fit in 3 'free' check ups if it all goes to plan!
Re water birth this website/article is interesting

WhyWait - ah yes, those are the sit ups I do; I am ashamed to say that I originally learned how to do them from Janine Butcher's exercise video.

We are off to a wedding tomorrow. It is largely child-free but we are allowed to take DS as no family nearby to help out. Depending on whether the other guests like boisterous 2 year old show-offs, we will either be very popular or very unpopular...

Have a lovely weekend all and thanks for being so welcoming.

Welcome Madame, No worries about moaning on here :)

Hello everybody!

bebe I am concentrating on sending good vibes to you re THE TALK this weekend. At least you can thrash it out and find out where you stand, I really really hope you can get DH on side with the baby plans!

JS Good vibes to you too with the babysitting! How can OH not want one of his own ( SOON ) when he's had a little cuddle! (fingers crossed!) :)

nannyl I'm sure your OH will love driving once he gets going- there will be no stopping him! (but good luck giving him the initial push!)

Not too many plans this weekend- going to buy a larger tent, visiting family, bike ride and Dentist :( on Monday

oh forgot to say.... whywait you were so right about the caffeine withdrawl- I wish I had done it gradually like you said but had a headache every night for the first three nights! I feel ok now though but am still looking for the holy grail of a herbal type tea that tastes nice!

Oh and JS - my OH and I laughed like idiots at the commando thread you linked to!!!! Bath swooshes! MN is opening up a whole new world to me!

Ugh, have just read another thread where someone kindly lists all the potential problems with getting pregnant and having a baby after 35. Whilst the rational bit of me knows that my fertility isn't suddenly going to drop off a cliff overnight and fortunately my friends have experienced no problems in this department (friend mentioned earlier is much younger so age isn't the issue), it still depresses me and makes me want to yell, 'Exactly WTF are we waiting for???!!!' We already have one child, it's not like we are suddenly going to be missing out on a crazy social life, exotic holidays, non-stop nooky and money to burn - we already did that!

Ah well, I guess it is some more grist to the mill for my 'Big Talk'...

Went from elated to panic in the space of 5mins! My drugs co just rang (unexpectedly) to arrange next delivery said about having to stop etc as needed to find out what to do & let them know. Was so happy as felt like I was actaully doing something.

Mentioned it to DH who was upstairs working, and he said, 'well we need to talk about that, but not now!' Wish he would just spit it out!!!

Yay for the weekend, but grrr for all the rain!! I thought I was lucky today when I went for a run at lunchtime and it only started raining after we got back. But then I got completely drenched on my cycle ride home :(

nannyl good luck with getting your oh to drive. It's one of those things that can be quite scary until you actually do it.

bebe fingers crossed for the talk with your DH.

mrs sounds like you're super organised with the dissertation, and also with the appointments.

I don't think that situps are that effective. Planks are much better (google plank and side plank), as is anything with an exercise ball :) There are others too, but I don't know their names. It's too easy to (inadvertently) cheat at situps and do them wrong. I'm sure I have a six-pack, but it's hidden beneath a bit too much flab for my liking! At my gym there is an evil instructor who used to do 15 min abs blast classes in the gym. I used to love doing them (haven't done one for a while) if only to beat all the boys at the gym who were great at bicep curls but had no abs muscles to speak of! Anyway, he taught loads of great (painful) abs exercises.

This weekend isn't too exciting - a friend of mine is leaving town so I'm off to a leaving do (turning into a bit of a habit ) and the rest of the weekend is free to stay in bed all day do as I please

Have a good weekend everyone!!

Ooops, I accidentally posted too quickly!

Also wanted to say good luck madamefromage, hope you can convince your oh. And hi also to strawberrypie, whywait, js, amanda, and anyone else reading

Hello all...just checking in on this new thread and saying hello to all the new peeps...

First and most important things first: Justshagging - what is a raclette? If it is a piece of cooking equipment that somehow produces melted cheese, it is VERY important that I know about it.

Hoping the rain's going to stop as we're off to a wedding tomorrow - I've done 4 weddings (and a funeral) this summer already but still 3 more to go- this is going to be a nice one however as the couple are very close friends and actually proposed at our place at a party we threw last winter - and DP is playing music tomorrow (I've been listening in on rehearsals and it sounds lovely, I'm definitely going to need the tissues).

Have good weekends all - those of you attempting The Talk I've got my fingers crossed for some good news on Monday.

Quod.

Bebe, my dissertation topic is a bit complicated. The short version is that its related to human rights (my field). A bit more specifically, it's on the use of human rights discourse by states in a particular context. Any more specifically than that, I'm afraid I'll lose anybody not familiar with the context!

Bebe, WhyWait and Squirrel, I know - sometimes I'm too organised for my own good! I'm going to try my best not to drive DH mad during this whole process...

Sending good vibes out to Bebe, Madame, Quod, and anyone else having "the talk" this weekend. I'm hoping you'll all have good news on Monday!

Also, Bebe, thanks so much for posting the link to that article about Water Birth. It's very helpful. I would encourage anyone else considering it to have a look.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Well done Madamedefromage you are now massively popular at the bus stop because there's nothing better than everyone else having a good moan to make you feel better about having a good moan tee hee!

I haven't got any words of wisdom, obviously, as I haven't even managed to convince DH to talk about DC1, but I can offer plenty of sympathy. It is very difficult to manage the whole situation, so that you both feel like you have been listened to but without the other person's views doing your head in! DH and I would consider that we communicate really well, but this topic seems to have upped the stakes and we struggle to get it right.

Wow girls I have now seen all your photos, having finally got my hands on the laptop (DH has gone out for the night with his mates) and I have to say it is wonderful to see who I am talking to, it all suddenly seems way more normal! Do you know what I mean? I will have to put some pictures up myself.

Nannyl I just got my Persona, which I think is quite exciting (I don't know why!) but I can't use it yet because it turns out you have to be off the pill for two full cycles first, so I have about three more weeks to go before I can get going with it.

Bebe - seriously? 24 September? Is that when you stop? Honestly? Wow, it doesn't seem two minutes since we were talking about whether you should start! And I remember so clearly the countdown to you starting treatment. Time isn't standing still after all!

I hope all The Talks go well. I asked DH today how old he thought was too old for me to have a baby, considering the increased risks etc, he said 37.

So I pointed out that if we want to have two children, which we both agree we do, then at the very latest we would need to conceive DC2 in February 2014, as I will turn 37 that November. This will obviously be impossible if we haven't already had DC1 by then, and to do that we would need to conceive DC1 by July 2013 at the latest. If we factor in some time to actually get pregant both times and a sensible age gap, it really doesn't leave us much time to faff about!

Mrs - yes that does sound complicated! I won't even pretend to understand! :o I found that link really helpful, have saved it to my favourites & will definately be working some of the points into my birth plan I think.

AC - Very exciting about the Persona. I don't know if I would feel 'safe' or not using it!
Have you brought all the age points up with DH like that. It makes a compelling argument IMO.

Can't believe I am potentially stopping my drugs next month. 6 more weeks! :o Mentioned this to DH and he didn't say anything Not sure if I should see that as agood sign or not? If he wants me to stay on it longer & is going to put off TTC again I think it's almost cruel to let me believe that I will be stopping soon! Still trying to get him to do the talk, but he has decided that he wants to watch a film tonight so that means talking is out of the window again!

I am trying to get DH's disinterest into TTC into perspective, by reasoning that I have been trying to get him to book our summer holiday for about two months now and he won't commit to anything. We're supposed to be going in two weeks!

Yes I did point this out to DH - but I hadn't done the sums at that point. Am quite shocked now I have done them! Especially as imo 37 is far too old to be putting myself through that strain and getting up in the night to two LO under the age of two. DH said I did have a point.

So what are you going to do about the drugs if he won't have the talk?

Hello everyone

I hope all you talks go well and DH's have fun with friends babies and realise they want one ASAP.

Well dome amanda on pointing that out to your DH... make sure you bring it up again ASAP

quodlibet hope you enjoy your wedding... i know the feeling, i have 2 in 3 weeks in a couple of weeks time, both 250 miles away! AGHHH

whywait we have the same thinking with waterbirth and as little intervention as possible.... i want my water birth at home... my mum had me and my sister with just gas and air and homeopathy, so if she can do it, then so will I LOL

Have had a good weekend really. Been round to MIL (though not in law as we arnt married but anyway)... we were having a massive sort out of the cupbaords (which have had no sorting since extension in 1993)... and we unexpectedly came across some of OH's baby stuff, and his quilts and toys etc... and she said to me (just her and me) that this was all ready for her 1st grandchild (and realistically the only one likely to have children yet is me) so she basically implied that she wants grandchildren and has lots of really really lovely stuff saved for them

Anyway it has all moved to a cupboard in spare room 2/6 (next to their room) and im pretty sure that room has grandchild to be's name written on it in MILs head.
Also got some very obvious comments out our new "family car" from MIL,

So very very excited that MIL has given me her blessing to get on with having some grandchildrem

also had a call from my mummy (who knew i got my CBFM this week) who essentially asked if i was pg yet ... told her NO!!!!!

On a negative point decided to have some baileys tonight, cause i can, and worked out with OH... that very soon i will be alcholol free until 2014 due to being pregnant / breastfeeding / being pregnant AGAIN (i know i want a small age gap) / breast feeding AGAIN ... OH kindly offered to consume all my alcohol for me

Hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend

You can drink whilst breastfeeding nannyl, you can pump and dump, or it actually leaves your system quite quickly.

So nice about your MIL. Mine has got a load of DH's stuff saved for DGC as well and has mentioned it to me, but I suppose since we got married it is more expected.

What strikes me about birth plans is, isn't everybody basically rooting for the same thing? I find it hard to believe that everyone doesn't draw the same conclusions from the information out there that I have and want the least intervention possible in an ideal world. Does that sound weird? I keep thinking "but who puts "I want a highly medicalised birth, prostrate on my back strapped to a monitor with lots of drugs and an episiotomy" on their birth plan?" I suppose at least you wouldn't be disappointed if you did!

AC - Agree with nannyl, bring it again again with all the dates pronto. Sounds like he might be coming round...maybe?!?!
If he won;t talk to me about it, I'll just stop the drugs as that was the last decision we made, so that is the one I'm gonna go with IYSWIM?

Nannyl - Really nice about your MIL :)
:o at your mum, she's keen on having granchildren soon then too?!
Bet you won't miss the alcohol....much!

amanda wow can i really drink breastfeeding? i didnt know that!!!

good point about birthplan, though i know several people who say "i want every bit of pain relief avaliable"

bebe good for you... be strong, stop your drugs then he will have to TTC... cunning plan

Yes my Mum cant wait for grandchildren, although she is only 52, and only decided that she definitely didnt want any more children 3 years ago, (when they got cats instead!!!)

I agree with you Bebe, I very much favour the "carry on doggedly with Plan A" approach in the absence of any concrete representations from our DH. Otherwise we'll never get anywhere!

Also I am starting to think that the men want us to make this decision.

nannyl x-posted with you. To me that "give me every drug going" approach is a bit weird unless it's expressed on your birth plan as "if all else fails and I'm in lots of pain, give me something, anything, that will make it stop!"

Surely everyone is hoping that it will not really hurt much and will be a bit like a bad period pain followed by a bit of pushing that is not much worse than having a poo. In which scenario you would not want every drug going, so you would not be inviting that as standard.

So isn't everyone saying in their birth plan, "starting point = I want no drugs and all natural (cause hopefully it won't hurt much) but if there is a bit of pain, I wouldn't mind some G&A... and if there is a lot, I'd probably go for something a bit stronger - and so on."?

And doesn't everyone read about how awful it is to birth against gravity and write on their birth plan that they don't want to be on their back and so on?