The Bus Stop - Waiting to TTC (part 3)

[bebejones]

New thread ladies! :)

Old one here

Will go get the list.....

Morning all!

AC - Glad you are ok, bummer DH took the laptop!!

WhyWait - Beautiful picture!
If you don't want your DH to know the gory details you may have to prepare him in advance of antenatal classes (parentcraft our NHS ones are called ) it was quite graphic about what actually physically happened! All the OHs went very very pale! :o

Nannyl - that's fantastic that you can talk to your DH about stuff like that. How exciting about the CBFM, are you not tempted to try it out?

Really wish OBEM had shown more low tech births. I desperately wanted a water birth at MLU but sadly just wasn't to be. Will definately aim for that again next time though.

I was surprised at the 5 of births on there that were emergency CS...... I am going to be dreadful when i get ot that staage though. I want every drug available to me!!!

Getting very excited about the baby's visit this weekend........ Poor DH is not going to know what has hit him!!

Mrswantstobe what I heard about caffeine is that if you cut it out completely while you're pg you can't use it while you're breastfeeding, just at a time when you probably need it to keep you awake.

Hello everyone ? can I join you for a moan, please?

I am very lucky that I already have a DS who is two. The first time round DH was very difficult to persuade ? although he knew he wanted children, he wouldn?t commit to actually getting going (he is like this about flippin? everything). Obviously he agreed in the end and I somehow imagined that getting on with number two would be easier. How wrong was I?!

We both found the first year with DS very hard but since then it has been great ? and DH adores him and is a great dad. But the other night he told me that he isn?t ready for another one at all. This was after another best friend had told me she is expecting #2 (there have been five now in the last 6 weeks, all of whom had their first babies after me. Most of our friends already have 2 DC.) I got ridiculously upset and we haven?t really gone near the subject since, as we have both been at work. A friend is coming round this evening and then we are with friends all weekend and so nothing is resolved and is just going to simmer away horribly. It doesn?t help that work is also hell at the moment and DS is waking in the night with a cough; I am not sleeping properly and bursting into tears randomly. DH is a bit terrified of me!

DH says that he is ?terrified? of the thought of another child. He was terrified at the thought of one and convinced that his job would fall apart ? instead his job has gone brilliantly since DS was born so that?s crap. It doesn?t help that the decision is wrapped up in lots of other things such as me hating my p/t job but staying because it?s good maternity leave, we need to move house etc. It is all getting very complicated. But I also can?t help thinking that DH has to over-analyse and plan every little thing ? whereas everyone else just gets on with life.

Sooner or later we are going to have to talk about it again and I fear it?s going to be messy! I just don?t see the point of waiting (I?m not getting any younger either ? 35 ? although fortunately fell quite quickly with DS1)

Gosh sorry ? this is long and very whingey and whiney and me-me-me indeed! I guess that this week in particular I could do with some support. I haven?t read all the previous threads, only this one, but hello and good luck to you all!

Fromage - that sounds so typical of many of us, or rather our OHs. I sympathise completely. My DD has just turned 2 & it seems like everyone I know is getting PG again & I thought it'd be me first! I too have the fear about 'the talk' with my DH. It always seems to end with me in hysterical tears. My DH also over analyses everything & sometimes I just wish he would go with the flow instead of thinking about what 'might' happen. Are we married to the same person?! Maybe the best thing is just to jump in and do 'the talk' and then at least you will know where you stand? (Says me, who is currently fingers in ears about it with DH :o) I always wanted about 3 years between the first two DC, but then got broody again really quickly, damn hormones!

Welcome to wait club madamefromage We all have days where we make posts that are a bit moaney but as that is kind of the point of this thread nobody minds!!

I've not been here since the start but joined about half way through thread 2 and now feel like I;ve been here for ages. It's lovely to have other women to chat to who are experiencing the same frustrations!!!

Thanks for the welcome, ladies. So it looks like you guys are all set to go in 2011! Time will fly for you. Now I just have to get a date out of DH, which the way things are going will not be before the closing ceremony of the Olympic Games (and possibly the 2016 ones at that...)

Yes bebe, we do need to have 'the talk' - I've just no idea when. I thought maybe next weekend but I seem to remember that MIL is descending on us then. I hate discussing things like that on a school night as yes, it will result in hysterical tears and then I have to go to work looking like Mike Tyson's been round for tea!

Flamin' men, eh?

welcome fromage
so sorry you are feeling sad. lets hope your DH changes his mind soon

amanda i didnt realise that abour caffine and breast feeding... (learn something new every day and all that)
i dont mind having no caffein (I normally give it up for lent which is fine) and i have decided to allow myself i caffinated drink per day until mid october then the rest of Oct and Nov / Dec caffine free before TTC.

bebe i would love to try CBFM out but the sticks are so expensive i really dont see the point in working out whens the best time to conceive a baby that im not allowed to concieve yet.
i might try it out just 1 month before though
(Oh and i too want a water birth (at home))

Just back from my lovley market, with my weeks supply of local fruit and veg, and done my 60 lengths and been to show off my new car at OHs work... also managed to park it in a single space
watching one more OBEM before starting on the housework and washing up that i havent even begun yet today!

WhyWait - When I was in labour with DD I was told for ages that I wasn't 'at the right stage for gas & air'!! They insited on giving me pethedine which just made me sick. Then by the time I was at the so called 'right stage' I was so exhausted (57 hours in) that I had to have an epidural just to get some rest! Just wish they had given me the g&a earlier then maybe it wouldn't have come to that. Trouble is I guess I just wasn't make that much of a fuss or demanding it! I still have no idea what the 'right stage' for g&a is?!

Fromage - there never seems to be a right time for 'the talk' does there? :( I think I might have to force myself to bring it up this weekend...scared!

Nannyl - don't think I could be so restrained as you! I'd be itching to have a 'play'! :o
My mum used to give coffee up for lent every year then one year when she started drinking it again after lent it made her feel worse than when she gave it up so she doesn't drink caffeinated coffee at all anymore! Makes me glad I don't drink it...except socially & then it usually gives me the jitters!

Gloucestershire Royal in the end. Wanted to have her in Stroud MLU. But had to be induced. Only got admitted to hospital after 51hours of contractions! (I realise this sounds horrendous, it wasn't that bad honest, DD was back to back & being very stubborn!) I can't really fault GRH delivery, they were fab, even if they didn't let me have g&a. But the post-natal ward was awful so I transferred back to Stroud asap!! I'm going to try everything I can to see if I can have the next one at Stroud, it's lovely!

Where abouts are you WhyWait? Are you Gloucestershire too?

Yes, good luck for the chat Bebejones! We are going to the area we plan to move to this weekend so we probably won't be able to escape talking about The Future. One of DH's more rational excuses reasons for delaying DC2 is that we need to move house, so let's see what he has to say...

I really wanted a natural homebirth and was terrified of hospitals but DS had other ideas, horrendously overdue, induced and also back to back so ended up with the full menu of drugs and an EMCS. My next birthplan (if I ever get the need to write one!) will be very short indeed - 'please get baby out as nicely and safely as possible, thank you' should cover it.

Tried taking my own advice & tried to bring up TTC in conversation...DH just shrugged it off, grunted & changed the subject!

Hi all! Some lovely pictures of you all :) I don't think I can find a good one of me to put up, but I'll have a look around!

bebe sorry to hear your hb just changed the subject :( Is it because he's a bit stressed, or he's just not ready to talk about it?

js all the running sounds good! And yes, running home is a very good way to make sure you don't bail out :) I read through the commando thread too - very funny and wasted quite a lot of my morning!

nannyl all that swimming sounds very impressive. I'm rubbish in the pool, and normally manage about 3 lengths before heading to the steam room.

Hi fromage and everyone else :wave:

Well, spotted a few of the shooting stars last night before bed, made DHs day, I made a wish! :o

Not sure why he changed the subject, maybe I was being too subtle. He was pre-occupied with work at the time! Actually worked out I have to talk to him about it this weekend. My drugs company are ringing Mon to arrange next delivery. If I stop 24th Sept, as planned, I only need 2 doses instead of the usual 4! Considering each injection costs about £200 I think they might want to know I don't need so much! So can everyone please cross their fingers for me?

Have tempted fate & bought some cheapie OV sticks off amazon, really hoping DH doesn't find them! At least they won't arrive before the talk!

JS - exhausted just hearing about all your running!

Nannyl - wish I could go swimming, but my swimming cossie doesn't fit anymore! Really ought to order a new one, poor DD hasn't been to the pool in ages!

Fromage - :o loving the 'birthplan'! Your experience sounds v similar to mine all bar the EMCS which I avoided by a matter of minutes! Are you looking at houses this weekend? Or just having a drive round sussing out the area?

Good morning and HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

bebe Well done for trying to subtly speak to DH about the TTC thing. Men are some times completely fucking thick a little less good at picking up on subtle hints than us ladies and so being a little more blunt might get more of a response! Will be thinking of you over the weekend and hopefully you'll only be putting in an order for 2 doses come Monday morning!!

Am so happy that Friday has finally arrived. My legs feel like they are made of lead this morning but I'm feeling pretty good about the whole fitness thing. Lets hope that I don't get bored in a few weeks and give up!!!

Happy Friday everyone.

Good luck with the conversation bebe... agree dont be subtle, be blunt and to the point

i didnt even realise there were shooting starts last night until i checked FB this morning... wish id had a look, but i didnt!

my mission today is to get OH insured on my car... had a very very serious (un-subtle) talk with him last night about how he needs to learn to drive asap, cause 1) in a year or so he might need to drive me to hospital in labour, and 2) if i have a cesarian (i hope not) i wont be able to drive and 3) i will NOT allow my baby to be driven by an inexperianced driver. i think i made my point clear and he agreed to start driving lessons in the next few weeks!

Nannyl - My DH doesn't drive either...its a complete nightmare! Thankfully my mum stayed with us when DD was due so she drove me to hospital, but if Id had a CS we would have been really stuffed. Am trying really hard to persaude him to learn but he isn't keen & keeps coming up with excuses! Maybe I'll get him driving lessons for his birthday in Jan! :o That's not subtle right?! :o

Only just realised it's Friday 13th! I have already been outside though & nothing bad has happened...yet

DD is being a PITA a little trying today, terrible twos in full swing unfortunately! Times like this I'm thankful we did wait longer, having a newborn when she is like this would be really difficult!

Hello again. Eeek Friday 13th, really?!

Sorry the conversation didn't progress bebe but yes, men rarely do subtlety. No, we are not house-hunting this weekend, just area-hunting. The plan was to put our flat on the market next summer but I think DH's concession to the whole TTC thing might be to do it earlier. We will see. I feel a lot less self-pitying today, partly because my lovely friend came round last night and is having problems TTC#1 so I count my blessings and partly because I had a metal Thomas the Tank Engine bin thrown at my head this morning, so I've gone off children now.

Gosh, do you all do lots of exercise? How impressive! I walk everywhere a lot but apart from that my concession to 'fitness' is 50 sit ups every night to get rid of baby flab work on my impressive six-pack.

Fromage - I do sit ups every night too...but I'm not sure it's working I might have lost weight but haven't lost the baby belly Good luck area hunting. Are you moving far?

bebe - I have found that the sit-ups do start to make a difference so worth keeping them up. Am I right in thinking you've lost a super-impressive amount of weight recently (from reading the thread)?

Technically not moving far, just across the city but still hate the thought of all the hassle involved. And we have no real knowledge at the moment, so have to pull our finger out and decide. I've never had to think about schools and all that business before when I've moved!

sit ups?!?!? [very impressed emoticon] I am useless at anything like that and haven't had time to do my yoga for bloody weeks...... Started a "leaderboard" on mapmyrun.com with DH and Dsis (they both do a LOT of exercise so i am hoping it will spur me on to try and make sure that I'm not last by a long way!!!) nothing like a good bit of competition with family to get you motivated! Maybe we should start a NM Waiting to TTC one to keep us all going with what we are doing!!!!

What a pain for you having DH's that don't drive. I am a little bit spoiled by mine as he tends to drive everywhere. I leart when I was 17 and drove a lot until I moved to London. When we got together he had a sports car and there was no way in hell I was going to drive that. We've now got a nice sensible golf but I've still only ever sat in the passenger seat........ I keep volunteering to drive us but I think the thought me me trying to negotiate the one way systems, narrow roads, hills and tight parking spots of Bath have so far put him off the idea

i too am impressed at all these sit ups
im just not good at that type of thing either.

Its very annoying that OH doesnt drive... means i have to do the whole 5 (or 6 or 7) hour journey home ... the thing is cause he cycles alot and thinks nothing on running 10 miles he is more than happy to cycle / run everywhere.... and all his family live within a run / cycle ride, and the public transport links are good so he just has used that all his life... and he only works 1 mile away from his house, he doesnt see the need for him to drive, but I do

JS i must be VERY slow, but do you live in bath? Im so enviouse, i LOVE Bath and the thermea spa is just lovely... i think if i lived there id go there every week

JS - I hate driving in Bath. Terrifying Not helped by the fact that all the signs are actaully painted on the roads so if there is queing traffic you don't know which lane you need until it's too late! At least that has been my experience!!

Fromage - been doing between 50 & 75 sit ups a night for nearly 6 months now & honestly can't see a difference...other than them getting easier to do!!