The Bus Stop - Waiting to TTC (part 3)

[bebejones]

New thread ladies! :)

Old one here

Will go get the list.....

Yay! Justshagging great to have you back! Tell us more about this chat!

OK - after a lot of reading I have finally had time to post my replies etc etc etc. THE CHAT details will follow later!

minipie
A long time ago I know but the whole disabilities comment was not at all flammable and it is something that I brought up in my TTC conversation with DH whilst we were away.

AC
The whole ?meeting? thing worked really well actually. We were out having supper and it just seemed to happen. We both gave each other time to talk and nobody interrupted or spoke over the other. More on that later?..

No idea where I?m going to go when I ?graduate? from here but hopefully they will be as lovely as all of you. Think I?ll still be on the Waiting thread for a while though. No doubt I will be starting the Waiting to TTC part 7 one!!

Well done for getting your DH into Mothercare! We had a little wander around Bath on Sunday and ended up looking at some baby books in a card shop (they actually had my favourite book from childhood and it was a really challenge to resist buying a copy for our future DC!!) and an amazing shop that sells beautiful handmade wooden toys. I?ve not yet got a bag of purchases but I can see that happening in the not too distant future!!

I hadn?t realised you were also a Persona user. I am on cycle 2 of using it but as last month was unusually long and so it is being overly cautious. Oh well??.. at least DH is now starting to trust and understand how it works. A major step forward!

Bebe
[shocked] at 5 kids!!! Wow!
On the SAHM front I am a bit unsure really. Ideally I think I would love to be one but in some ways I think that I might want to do something part time in order to keep a bit of my own money coming in and also give me a bit of variety in life. Both my mum and DH?s mum were housewives and so that is what we both grew up with. He would love for me to be able to chose to be a SAHM and so I guess it will depend a bit on our finances when the time comes and also on my feelings then. I will def be taking a full 9-12 months of maternity leave though!!!

Well done on the chat. It?s so tough to find the right time to bring it up but sometimes just dropping it into the conversation is the best way to go. I bet you feel so much better now!

Hope that you are feeling a bit better and getting some more sleep

Mrswantstobeamum
Good luck with the dissertation (which I am sure is now handed in and with your tutor. Sorry, I?m a bit behind!) congratulations on your graduation too ? I am sending you wishes for a short time TTC and a healthy PG!

Nannyl
I hope that the wardrobes are up and looking good! What a bonus that you got them for free!!! I love that your DP asks about everybody each morning, hilarious!!!

[excited emoticon] about SWI at fertile time. You?re not going to bugger off and leave us now are you?!!? [shocked] Can?t wait to hear the developments and I am keeping everything crossed that whatever result you get will be the one you want.

Attenboroughfan
Welcome!!! Well done for controlling things without your medication. A really important achievement and a good step on the way to TTC.

Jbells
Am sure my DH would be ok if I got PG by accident but whilst it is so tempting to engineer this ?accident? I would hate to think that every time he looked at the resultant DC he was thinking ?what if??? I know that he wants children and have pretty much got a timeline??. (more on that later) so I feel less panicked about it now (just watch that change in a few months when my friends start getting PG!!!)

Strawberrypie
Loving your O.V.U.L.A.T.I.O.N cheer (and picturing your with pompoms and shiney white trainers!!!) do we all get one!
Well done on the weight loos too. I somehow managed to loose 1.5kg on hols which was miraculous as after day 3 the running and swimming went out the window in favour of eating, drinking and sunbathing!!

When have you and OH put back your TTC plans until??

Also ? very gutted I missed the virtual day at the health spa :( However I am having a fish pedicure on Wednesday followed by cocktails. Can?t wait!!!

Ladylou
Welcome! Sorry to hear you had such a hard time before DD arrived but it?s good to see that you are so evidently loving motherhood. No doubt I will have many questions for you over the coming months!

Brettgirl
Laughing at buying a cot!

Eglu
Welcome! October, not long for you to wait now then. Very exciting times indeed!

JudyPink
Welcome!

Fluffysparkles
Have a wonderful wedding day! I am about to hit my 1 year anniversary on Sunday of this week and I wish I could do it all again!!

100years
Welcome and massive congrats on loosing 2 stone ? it seems this is a good thread for weight loss too!

Thinking of following the pack [sheep emoticon] after hearing all the stories and ordering a copy of TCOYF when I put in my next amazon order (am running out of books again after stocking up pre holiday and getting through 6!!!) Now I just need a secure hiding place so I don?t completely freak out DH?. Could be a tricky one!

bebe, thanks, After the talk with OH and him saying we would do it whatever the scales say it's helped a lot, and yes my clothes are fitting loads better and I know I look slimmer so I am now OK about it. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself, which I needn't have done.

Hi JustShagging. Hope you had a good holiday

Right????

So? THE CHAT!!!
We were having a lovely romantic supper in Bodrum yacht club about half way through the holiday and for some reason the time just seemed right. Can?t really remember how we came to talk about it but the basic jist of the conversation was:
I want to start trying asap ? reasons listed for this included:

1. Why wait?
2. Age and its impact on fertility, chances of disability, not wanting to be old parents etc etc etc
3. I?m ready and my body is really healthy now
4. Timings of potential DC2
5. Not wanting a Christmas DC Then I quoted the ?average time taken to get pregnant is 6 months? stat at him. I know it?s not always true but it is a statistic I have seen somewhere and supported my case so??. (what was it they say about lies, damn lies and statistics?!?!?)

DH then said that he desperately wants children but he would like to wait a bit to enable him to save some money and give our family stability. He also wants us to have one last holiday somewhere exotic before we have children as things will change significantly after that. He said that my efforts to get healthy and fit have really reassured him that I am ready for this and that the amount of research that I have done into pregnancy, labour and parenthood show that this is obviously something that I feel very strongly about..

We talked about the provisional timetable that we discussed at the start of the year (which was a March 2011 TTC start date) and he asked if we could rethink that. Obviously I was not hugely happy about it but we discussed the reasons why and (much as I hate to admit it) they do sort of make sense. He asked that we try after our trip. As we have decided to go to India it will need to be October and so I have proposed the following compromise (pending a chat with my GP about the safety of the plan)

TTC in June and July 2011. If not PG by then, stop TTC until we get back from India. I basically want to avoid going there in my first trimester but think that I will be fine in the 2nd one. Obviously I will have a chat with my GP about this and follow whatever advice she gives me but I could potentially be starting in June.

I?ll be kicking about on this thread for a bit longer than planned but at least now I have a date that I can work to and can focus on enjoying the next 10 months before getting serious about starting a family. So here is my new and updated stats (maybe we should all update these for the newbies??)

JustShaggingForNow ? TTC#1 June 2011. Joined thread July 2010. Waiting because DH is not ready, saving money, holidays yadda yadda yadda!!!!!

Sorry it's a bit longer than you had planned JustShagging, but yes you get to enjoy the next 10 months of extra practice. I know how the waiting feels, although we have only recently had the chat next year feels a long way off.

100 years Hopefully TTC #1 beginning of 2011 tbc, waiting because want to get fitter possibly lose some more weight in the process.

JS - glad it was a productive chat even if it wasn't 100% the outcome you wanted. 10months will fly by...less time than I have been hanging around here making the place look untidy! :o

JustShaggingForNow ? TTC#1 June 2011. Joined thread July 2010. Waiting because DH is not ready, saving money, holidays yadda yadda yadda!!!!!

100years Hopefully TTC #1 beginning of 2011 tbc, waiting because want to get fitter possibly lose some more weight in the process.

WhyWait TTC#1 September/October 2010 (member since depending on results of Rubella immunity testing.

bebejones (Hopefully) TTC #2 Jan 2011! (Watch this space, subject to change ) Waiting co DH 'isn't ready' (well he better get there bloody fast) & because I have to stop my meds for 3 months first!

I need a June/Oct 2011 TTC buddy!!!

aftanoon all

JS- hope you had a lovely hol, welcome back, glad your talk went well and u now have fixed dates in mind, wish i cud even get to a fixed date or a talk lol

WHYWAIT- it bothers me sometimes more than others when i do bulk of work but to be honest i have never spoke to one single mother that has not had the same complaint so not to stereotype but i think most the time woman just do a lot more with DC's and around the house than there DP's do.

BEBE- i am really not sure the inhaler works either plus at this age i am never really sure wether dd is breathing it in properly either :S

100 years- try not to worry to much about the loss on the scales sometimes my scales will go down but my clothes feel tighter just think how well youve done up to now :)

JustShaggingForNow ? TTC#1 June 2011. Joined thread July 2010. Waiting because DH is not ready, saving money, holidays yadda yadda yadda!!!!!

100years Hopefully TTC #1 beginning of 2011 tbc, waiting because want to get fitter possibly lose some more weight in the process.

WhyWait TTC#1 September/October 2010 (member since depending on results of Rubella immunity testing.

bebejones (Hopefully) TTC #2 Jan 2011! (Watch this space, subject to change ) Waiting co DH 'isn't ready' (well he better get there bloody fast) & because I have to stop my meds for 3 months first!

jbells TTC#2 hopefully around jan 2011! if i can get DP to change his mind he wants to wait till more like october next year bcos finances buying house, got lots of work to do on house, hes not ready, scared of the way i will be afta birth again, bla bla bla

JBells - our situations sound so similar! Bloomin' men! I agree about inhalers, we can only get DD to do it if we make Darth Vader noises! :o

WhyWait - I don't really feel annoyed as such, although sometimes I wish he would get up off his arse & help a bit at weekends! But he works really hard at his job & he is a fantastic daddy, he just gets to do all the fun stuff! I don't mind as he is the one earning the money, we each have our role IYSWIM? If I was working too & looking after DD the most I think I'd be peeved. Hope that makes sense?!

Have got my super strength vitamin D tablets now! :o So now I am taking: Iron, Folic Acid, Vit D, Evening Primrose, Glucosomine & Omega 3. :o Definately rattling! Will have to speak to GP about what I can and can't carry on taking when TTC Also need to ring my specialist nurse & confirm that I am stopping my meds :o Eeeeeek!!

Oh and a multivitamin as well! Knew I'd missed something off the list!

i know r situations sound really similar bebe, see my DP is more of a practical thinker and has to have everything set out and organised where as i plan more with my emotions and wot will make me happy even if we do have to struggle for a while, we have been trying the darth vadar noises to lol god thats a lot of meds dont know how u remember to take them all, DD is now fast asleep so ive got just over an hour of peace on my own b4 DP gets home from work

Just shagging that post was absolutely epic

Whywait I know what you mean about this thread. I really don't want to move on anywhere else, I have come to know and like the people on here, it's a nice little safe group IYKWIM. Feel jealous of people on the e.g. "well our october 2006 babies are nearly four" threads!

Had some bad news today that might keep me here for a good long while yet: the guy at work who took over supervising and training me in place of the horrible bully I worked for before is leaving and I will have to go back to working for the horrible bully again. I have spent the evening applying for new jobs. Can't bear to go back to how things were before, even if it means putting off ttc.

Hi All

Appologies for ridiculously long post yesterday. It didn't look so bad in a small font in word!!!

Am working from home today thanks to the tube strikes and my bloody gluten intolerance. The good news is that it's a lot easier to come on here when my boss isn;t sitting next to me

AC I have no idea where to go from here when I eventually graduate. I guess I'll have to wait and see but am hoping that I stay on here until I get my BFP and that someone else graduates around the same time!!!

So sorry to hear that you had bad news at work. There is nothing worse that working for a bully and I can totally sympathise on the job hunting front. I'm in a similar (but no way near as bad) position as you and at times it can be utterly soul destroying but I find that if you can learn to switch off to their comments then it does help a little bit!!!!

Whywait - i didn't think you were ignoring me! I just assumed your computer was having 'issues'! :o
I am taking alot of supplements but most of them are thought to be beneficial for my MS & also I am taking some coz of doing the diet & I wanted to make sure I wasn't losing out on anything IYSWIM? I feel the best I have felt in years & whether it's down to the supplements or the 4st I've lost, or a combination who knows? DH thinks this is testament to the fact that I should keep doing my jabs but I felt like this since before I started the jabs!! Will need to work out what I can still take whilst TTC/PG, don't want to stop taking something if I don't have to!
I thought I'd hate being at home & also need DH to help alot, but I'm very happy with how things worked out so hope it's the same for you :)

AC - I don't want to leave either! Didn't join MN til after I conceived DD so never joined a TTC thread before...they seem a little daunting! It's nice and cosy here!

JS - hope you are feeling better soon.

What a nightmare those tube strikes, makes me glad I don't live/work in London! I'm sure the impact on the economy must be huge! Dreading the post today, DH is convinced his tax code was wrong, expecting to have to pay HMRC lots of money! (He only went self employed half way through the last tax year!) :(

Hi Bebe - hopefully there will be nothing from HMRC in the post today. Never a nice piece of main to receive :(

I'm also taking supplements and (until today!!!) I have been feeling so much better. I guess it's also coupled with exercise and so they must have some impact on our health adn wellbeing. It's great that we are all taking out health and fitness so seriously pre TTC, our OH's should be very proud of us!!!

DH and I have now signed up to run the Bath Half marathon in March so I have to keep on with the running now!! Have persuaded my Dsis to join us and am also planning on recruiting a few more friends too!

whywait Gluten intolerance is a blooming nightmare to manage. I am usually pretty good but sometimes when I go out for meals I assume that things will be ok and they aren't. Last night was Thai and usually I am ok but I went for something different to what would usually order and that wasn;t such a good idea!!!

AC sorry to hear of your work situation. It's nit nice being somewhere like that and working for a bully. I was once pushed by my manager at work and was out of there within a week!!! I look back and would have done things differently, but you live and learn, I was only in my very early twenties at the time.

Maybe we should rename the thread/start a new thread, something like 'in it together', and stay in the same thread, then we would know how each other are doing, especially if dates for TTC change and the like. I know I'm only a newbie in here, but what do you think. Obviously if you think of a different/better name then cool.

JustShagging I suffer from migraines, mostly due to food intolerance. It's not nice to have symptoms from eating stuff when everyone else can eat what they like. I do feel for you.

I also need to know what I can and can't take during pg, as I have a list as long as my arm for pain relief and anti-sickness, which I doubt I will be allowed. I'm not looking forward to having to suffer a migraine with only taking paracetamol, but I shall cross that bridge when the time comes. Also on a preventative, not sure if that's OK either. Eeep [scared face]

morning all

WHYWAIT- u will just end up falling into your roles altho it may take sum time it took me a while to adjust to my new role and to begin with bcos i went from working full time to staying at home i ended up finding myself very lonely, as my DP was at work alot and none of my close friends had kids etc, it took a bot of time but i now love being at home and wud prefer to not have to work even part time :) hopefully one day finances will allow me to

JS- rubbish bout tube strikes but atleast u get to work in the comfort of your own home and skive a lil bit more than normal :o wow thats really great that u r going to do the half marathon that is something i would really love to do, just not sure whether ive got the motivation to go running afta DD is in bed each nite, im not the best with exercise hehe

AC- i think even when i got pregnant it would be nice to stay on this thread and c wot everyone else is upto u never know a few of us mite end up getting on the bus at the same time

BEBE- thats bad knew bout tax fingers crossed your tax will be fine and nothing will come of it, it made me worry a bit when they sed about all the people who wud be getting a big tax bill thru the door

Correction to my post ^^ it's NOT as opposed to nit!!!

100years I like the idea of "in it together". It would mean those of us having to wait linger can get tips from those who graduate early (who's going to be my TTC mentor?!?!?)