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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The Bus Stop - Waiting to TTC (part 3)

928 replies

bebejones · 06/08/2010 14:32

New thread ladies! :)

Old one here

Will go get the list.....

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bebejones · 26/08/2010 09:35

JBells - I think there is an element of truth in that for my DH too. DD was 'planned' but in a sort of half hearted way of 'lets see what happens'. My DH copes much better with just dealing with things when they happen. He isn't a planner like me!

AC - good news on the temp, maybe you dont need the OV sticks after all :)

Nannyl - I really like putting furniture together! I think I must be very weird! :o

I'm thinking of suggesting to DH that when I stop my meds we just stop using protection and see what happens, no pressure. Maybe he might go for that? He's worried about how we would cope financially with 2. But we already have all the big stuff we need (except for a new travel system) & by the time #2 arrives DD won't be in nappies so we will still only be buying one lot of nappies. I intend to try & bf so might not even need formula. I can't see that it will actually make that much difference to us at all. Maybe I am being really naive?! Hmm

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strawberrypie · 26/08/2010 14:44

Welcome AttenboroughFan! I have heard good things about CBT, I'm glad you are feeling positive about it :)

Woo-Hoo AC! Give us an O. V. U. L. A. T. I. O. N!

bebe the situation with your MIL is not as straight forward as I thought............hmmmm........back to the drawing board! Your plan to make TTC seem less structured sounds like a good idea though and like you say- how much difference financially can another LO really make? :)

nannyl you are a busy bee! What a nice surprise about the furniture! :)

AmandaCooper · 26/08/2010 18:51

Ha ha let's hope so! Tomorrow's temp will probably tell me one way or another, so fingers crossed everyone!

Bebe surely the number one cost is childcare - and you being off work, and in that respect the closer in age your DC are the better?

minipie · 26/08/2010 19:05

evening all!

jbells I don't think my DH would cope with an accidental pg particularly well. I think he'd come round, but we are both uber planner people who analyse every life decision to death (though somehow we are also quite disorganised Confused) and neither of us really likes surprises/things being out of our control. So he'd be the last person to say "just get pg and don't tell me we are TTC"!

bebe I think "just stop using protection" is how my DH thinks it works... haven't yet introduced him to the concept of EWCM, charting, etc. Probably because I know very little about it myself.

On the subject of which. You all keep mentioning this book TCOYF. What is it? and does it teach you to work out how quickly you are likely to get pg... ? Because I'd love to be able to work that out.

nannyl · 26/08/2010 20:07

TCOYF = Taking charge of your fertility...

it is fab, and yes teaches you to learn when you are likely, very likely, and almost certainly NOT going to get pregnant..

Its a fab book and i wish id read it when i was 16...

its so good IMO all women should read it regardless of their plans to have (or not want) a child.

amanda i agree with your point about main cost = childcare, so bebe put that one to your DH lol Smile

hope you still have a hot temp tomo amanda... im expecting a temp surge in the next fewish days... i think!!!

AmandaCooper · 26/08/2010 20:13

You are likely to get pg way faster if you chart your cycles and work out when your fertile days are. Just got my copy in the post today - it's really good!

minipie · 26/08/2010 20:30

hmmm, interesting.

I am very interested in the biology of it all but think it's a bit early yet (and DH would freak out and I'd never be able to hide it from him)...

hmmm tempted though.

AmandaCooper · 26/08/2010 20:35

I'll be honest with you minipie it's not as easy as it sounds. If you start now you'll be able to get the hang of it - and you'll have a load of charts to look back on if you need them. I highly recommend the book already and I've only just started reading it!

AmandaCooper · 26/08/2010 20:37

Although having said that there's a lot to be said for not freaking out your DH - and I should know!

bebejones · 26/08/2010 21:26

AC - the childcare aspect is definately an issue. Like I have said before, if I start working towards establishing a career this is something we would need to think about. All the more reason to TTC sooner rather than later so I can be at home rather than pay for childcare!

I really need to look into this TCOYF book! Going to look it up on Amazon now!

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AttenboroughFan · 26/08/2010 21:43

Oooh TCOYF is fab! I thought buying it would freak DH out a lot but he's actually quite interested in it. I agree nannyl, I wish I'd read it when I was 16! Why are we not taught this stuff? It's like our bodies are a huge mystery that will never be solved when actually, you read this book and it all just makes sense!

Thanks for the kind welcome ladies Smile On jbells's comment, I think you might be right. I think DH would prefer the surprise of just 'ooh! we're going to have a baby!' over months and months of fruitless TTC. I'd love to avoid all the pressure of it but the thought of DH not being over the moon when I tell him I'm pregnant would prevent me planning an 'accident' just in case. I hope I don't get flamed here but I'm sure women everywhere do this all the time though Blush

AmandaCooper · 26/08/2010 22:24

Oh I totally agree, I'm sure they do. I don't see it as immoral exactly if you're in a "DP wants to have children and the stars are all aligned but he's got cold feet" scenario, but I do think it's unwise, as it's not an easy thing to raise a child, and a surprise could lead to a lot of deep resentment and "I never asked for this" style excuses.

Ladylou83 · 27/08/2010 00:33

Can I join please? I'm Em, 27 and had DD1 10 weeks ago, and loving every moment I've had with her, so much so that Im desperate to start TTC again, although DH says I have to give it till next June before we can.

Half of me wants to wait till next june so I can give DD all my attention & I had terrible Hypremsis all the way through PG so would like to not be sick again for a while, but the other half of me wants to try sooner as we suffered 2 MC in a row before we conceived DD.

Ladylou83 · 27/08/2010 00:37

Oh other reason Dh wants to wait is because he wants me to finish a CBT course, I know he means well, but i've been ok since DD arrived.

AmandaCooper · 27/08/2010 08:18

Morning girls! Well unfortunately it hasn't turned out to be much of a temperature shift - although I did wake up at four thirty very briefly before waking up again at six to do my temp. Confusingly the example given in TCOYF is of getting up at four to go to the toilet, so it's not clear whether just literally waking up and going straight off to sleep again counts. Does anybody know?

I am reassured that TCOYF says the pill can have a longer term effect on ovulation after you come off it. You do hear the opposite from so many reputable sources, which makes you think that whatever your fertility is like in your first non-pill cycle is permanent.

Ladylou welcome to the thread. It's interesting for us to be joined by someone with a tiny baby. How did you decide to ttc the first time round, if you don't mind me asking?

jbells · 27/08/2010 08:46

morning everyone, interesting thoughts on my question yest, im hoping baby no 2 is definately planned by me and DP as first was a surprise itb be nice to try things the otha way round and have the xcitement of r we rnt we if u know wot i mean, if he eva comes round to the idea lol

im going to sign up to do a p.g.c.e today its a part time 2 year course, fingers crossed there is still availability on it

attenboroughfan and ladylou hi nice to meet u or mumsnet u :) ladylou your baby must be very good at 10 weeks id bin put of kids for life haha my dd hardly slept and had colice till about 12 wks so lots of crying and not sleeping although i want another one still not looking forward to first 3 months

AC i agree with your comment about if the men didnt plan it they cud go on about it for life my dad still does altho now he says thankgod your mum tricked me into having you more than the negative

bebe know exactly how u feel bout career i was saying to DP last nite that i feel really torn between wanting to just stay at home full time and be with DD but also wanting to build up a career i enjoy as kids wont stay around forever and bcos i feel like i wasted 3 yearsb doing a degree, hence the p.g.c.e teaching is looking like a good option and fingers crossed i may have a part time teaching job lined up while im studying although this may push the ttc back by about 6 months if all goes to plan to give me a chance to settle into new role etc which would prob take me to about april next year but it may take that long for DP to come round to idea anyway haha

Ladylou83 · 27/08/2010 11:34

Morning All

ummmmm....Well we both knew we would like to start a family quite early on into our relationship but with work being so busy and wanting to have money in the bank we decided to wait till we'd got married and go from there. We got married June last year and had a drunken conversation whilst on honeymoon about starting TTC, neither of us wanted to put our family on hold anymore, it just felt so right. My cycles were totally to pot, no 2 cycles were alike so we assumed that it may be a long time before we actually got a BFP, however it quickly became apparant that our problem wasnt getting PG it was staying PG. We conceived 2 cycles in a row and very sadly lost them at around the 6 weeks stage both time. After the 2nd loss I was told to give my body a rest before trying again, but my heart over-ruled my head and we carried on as we had been doing and thankfully we got another BFP.

But again at the 6 weeks the tell tail pains came back and off to hospital I went, the A&E department this time suspected Eptopic PG. Ended up being admitted and having tests left right and centre. I had and scan and they couldnt find anything other than a sac, no pole. So happy that it wasnt eptopic they sent me home and asked me to return a week later for a further scan. Thankfully the second scan showed a little bean with a lovely little heartbeat flickering away. They beleived my dates may have been wrong and the severe pain was actually probably implantations pains combind with the 1st of many kidney infections. When we had our scan at 12 weeks though and our dates were pulled forward back to our original dates, strange! DD ended up arriving a week early so gosh knows what date I was actually due.

Throughout the pregnancy I was in and out of hospital with the HG and also unexplained bleeding. I honestly didnt enjoy being PG at all, but absolutly adore being a mum to DD. I know babies change there routines like the wind changes direction, but she has been so good to us, she really is my little ray of sunshine (oh how bad am I, lol). Touch wood, she hasnt yet had any colic and has found herself a little sleep routine, although I hear from 3 months onwards that can all go up in the air. The only problem we have had, is that she has had oral thrush from 6days old that is persistant and still hasnt gone. She had to be taken to hospital because after 7 weeks on Nystatin she started to react really badly to it and was getting dehydrated etc. She is now on Darkartin and very slowly it is working. She is quite the subject of conversation between the HV and MWs as they cant see why she still has it even afte medication, but at the same time she really isnt fussed by it at all (touchwood).

As far at TTC goes, I think I tryed a lot of things when were trying. Both of us were dosed up on every vitamin & mineral that could possibly assist the process, and our diets were altered to be more healthy, smoking was banned and much to DHs disgust the drink went too. I mainly followed my BBT and also kept an eye on what my cervical mucus was up to. I was forever filling out some chart and plotting what my body was doing. I actually thought we had missed our window of opportunity when we last conceived, but out of no-where my temp shot up and the CM changed and 2ish weeks later came my BFP. I got quite obsesive over it all tbh.

I had my 8 weeks check recently and the topic of contraception came up. I was thinking of having the coil fitted but I dont want there to be any reason for delaying conception when next june comes. Im really aware that we could have problems TTC, but at the same time we could have no problems at all. I think Im going to start tracking my cycles again to see if they regulate (although I may be hopeful on that one).

Sorry for the long ramble. DD is spending some quality time with my folks so its strange being able to come online at a normal hour of the day :)

AmandaCooper · 27/08/2010 19:21

How awful it must be to miscarry. I'm sorry to hear that part of the story. Your pregnancy sounds like it was quite unpleasant, frightening even, but it's good to hear that the end result is making you so happy.

Jbells how did you get on with signing up for the PGCE? I tried to get on that course years ago but couldn't, everywhere rejected me, even though I had years of experience running guides and brownies and had been helping out at the local primary school all year. I've got over it but I was gutted at the time.

I suppose already being settled in my career is a massive plus. It won't be easy juggling work and DC when they are small though. One of DH's reasons for wanting to wait is so that we can afford for me to be a SAHM for a while. It's so hard to imagine yourself in that role though, I don't think I'm very keen on the idea. I do like working and earning my own money.

I've been wondering: which thread do people think they might join when you graduate from here? I think charters anonymous might be good, and they do get a lot of BFPs. It might be nice at first to align yourself with a load of people who are also just starting out but if this makes sense, I don't feel that I am just starting out, I've made a lot of progress and decisions and learnt a lot already while waiting to ttc.

bebejones · 28/08/2010 10:02

Ladylou - that sounds horrid, poor you :( Of course there is nothing to say that things won't be completely different next time round, now your body 'knows' what it has to do IYSWIM?
I had hyperemesis too & my GP & MW both said that I might not have it with subsequent pregnancies...I'm really hoping not! :o

AC - I just thought I would hop on whichever bus was boarding when I 'graduate' & see how I go! If thing take their time I may well join charters anonymous aas well.
I always thought I'd hate being a SAHM, although we had decided (near enough, although me getting ill forced the issue) that I would stay at home while DC were little. However, I actually quite enjoy it...mostly! Wink I have started to make new 'mummy' friends which I never would have had the chance to do if I had gone back to work & I feel enormous pride in the fact that I have taught DD the things she does! Not just the basics, she could count (to about 14) & recognise numerals (before she was 2) & is starting to know her letters & sounds too. :o It really is far more rewarding than I had thought it would be! Although, that being said, I do want to go back to work & have a career someday too. For my sanity if nothing else! :o

Was going to attempt to discuss stopping meds with DH again last night. But we had a big row just before I did my jab & I didn't feel I could bring it up :(

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bebejones · 28/08/2010 10:04

Sorry, lots of errors in that last post! Lack of sleep! Hope everyone has a good weekend! :)

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bebejones · 28/08/2010 10:21

Much excitement, fertility friend has just given me 5 free VIP days! :o Bet this won't happen when it actually matters! Hmm

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mrswantstobeamum · 28/08/2010 10:41

Well, ladies...it seems that I have graduated from this thread! Maybe out of impatience, maybe out of an increased sex drive after coming off the pill Blush, DH and I have now given it a go a couple of times sans protection.

I don't know what we can expect this cycle (my first off the pill) as it is CD16 and I have had no signs of ovulation yet, but we are trying to be relaxed and just see what happens (okay, with the aid of charting and OPKs!).

So I guess I'd better find a TTC thread! It's been lovely chatting with you the past few weeks. Good luck with your TTC decisions, especially to those waiting for OH to get on board. If you don't mind, I might pop my head in here every now and again to see how you're getting on.

xx

Ladylou83 · 28/08/2010 11:36

Mrswantstobeamum good luck on your new journey, I hope it works out for you. June bus was my lucky bus so hopefully it will be lucky for you too :)

bebejones · 28/08/2010 13:09

Good Luck Mrs!! :)

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AmandaCooper · 28/08/2010 13:29

Mrswantstobeamum congratulations that really is brilliant news.

I am really hopeful that I will not be long in following you - I feel like we are starting to get somewhere at last. DH and I are going to buy something for the baby later on today! Then we're going on holiday for a proper kick back and relax. DH is going to have another go at quitting the ciggies and I might even try to get him on some zinc supplements.