30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

Blimey, THAT is service, Pette. Ok, I know I will get a rotten fish slap for this, (especially as Bangy already asked) but how do you improve your general health? I know you eat healthy, exercise... what else can you do? And why do you have to stay with ILs the whole week? That cannot be good for your hormones?

Head what do you mean you got the droid? Like full on red blood streaming with cramps, or brown string stuff?

Casselina 'tis not impossibile.

Bah, bah and thrice bah Scorps. While the personal advice from Queen Zita is amazing, it does sound like quite the pickle. I shall hope the provision of advice is enough to begin insta-diff.

I too want to know what heads period is like, because I thought you was diffed.

My period - well slight cramps, and pink watery FFJ after a massive poo [no personal boundaries emoticon]. It's gone now cos 'tis only D21 but trust me folks, thisizzit - this time tomorrow morning I'll be doing the full Carrie

Thanks for faith in me though BESHes ! Next month!

Who is this Zita lady? Eh?

I have finished Her Fearful Symmetry. I liked it, although it did make me cry a bit. to be fair, lots of things do make me cry at the moment.

Spariel did you watch Sherlock I wonder?

I bet Head only has the brown string. Which does NOT rule out diffedness. Oh no.

Cross post there HeadGirl. But you see, i was correct in it not being an akchool Droid.

LordMountbatten, I have an endocrinal disorder ('Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency'). This basically gives me the following: Chronic Fatigue, Hypoglycaemia, insomnia, allergies, IBS, low blood pressure, mood/temper probs and more. Happy days! To make things better I will basically have to become one of those boring freaks who goes to bed at 10, gets up at 6 for an hour of intensive yoga and meditation and eats an insanely strict organic Low-GI diet and does exercise every day and so on. I'm about halfway there, but the routine required is so strict and dull that I can't bring myself to go for it. I guess I'm going to have to [MEH]

As for ILs, they live 5-6 hours away and TYF only gets to see them 3 times a year, so he likes to be there for a week at a time (and it's the way they've always done things; they're so stuck in their ways that one of their sons bringing along a gf is enough to freak them out, still). We live 15 mins away from my parents and they pop in at least once a week, so I guess it's only fair (?).

Head when you say you just took your temp do you mean middle of the afternoon? Cos it's only the first thing in the morning one that matters for charting, because so many other things can affect your temp during the day (like it being hot).

I think it has to stay up higher for 3 days to count as triphasic too.

But don't let me stop you menkulling

I know Salt'n'Pepa, and I am still thinking that my buzzwams are bigger and hurtier for longer than normal. But I do not wish the Butterly of Hope to emerge from its Chrysalis of Optimism, only to be stamped with the Boot of Reason tied with the Laces of Despair . Plus I will feel like a right nicky-noo-noo when I have to dash out on Thursday for a bumper box of Tampax Regular*, so....I turn my mind to Higher Things, and by Higher Things I mean the new Stephen King paperback.

Score your disorder gives me a serious case of the sads. However, I think you do have it in you to go the other halfway. Maybe the change of job will bring a change of air, and a new focus on all that's good for you - that sort of thing? Re. FF - I iz confused. The Lovely PESH pal is giving me her CBFM.

*I honestly have no idea where that came from.

**

Ocarina are you wearing the Boots of Reason?

Yeah, mid-afternoon. Zeus on a bike, I can't even menkul accurately

CBFM worked for me, Heady.

Is the new Stephen King paperback called Under The dome?

I'm with you on the butterfly of Hope. Bitch of Hope more like. Although, actually, don't listen to me...

I am thinking I might become old lady hippy on the beaches of Goa if I don't have any baybees to tie me down by the time I retire.

Thassit Salts. Not as good as The Stand but then neither's Anna Karenina . It's very compelling and preventing me from doing any bloody writing at all, curse it to Hull and back.

Can I come with you to Goa please? Thanks. Let's open a caff selling coconuts and coconut-themed accessories. Coconut bras. Coconut cream fudge. Slippers woven from coconut fibre.

Ooh. I have that, am starting on it this evening.

Yes CocoBanging of course you can. Coconut cocktails?

We can be mad on the beach and wear locally printed sarongs and shit.

fkuhdipfubdlfjg ldifughdjkfgn;h; #

Ahem.

Just Googled research into links between obesity and infertility. A large and (apparently) significant study in the Netherlands has shown that for every BMI 'point' above 29, chances of conception are reduced by 4%. I have neatly calculated that my chances of conception are reduced by 14% just because of my lifelong inability to put down the fucking fork

Shall stop being MeMeMeMeMeMe now. No really!

I am dismayed at people flaunting their reading of Stephen King openly in public. Is there no shame anymore?

Iggy gave me her CBFM back in 1846 but it remains loyal to her despite all sorts of resets. Am hoping that her actually giving birth might make it accept that its original mistress no longer has need of it and therefore switch its allegiances to moi.

I am reading The Passage by Justin Cronin. Is so long I'll probably be in labour with my 3rd child when I finish it (776 pages!) TYF keeps nagging me to finish it so he can start it when we get to Devon (if we take it, it can double up as a handy bludgeoning weapon if the ILs get too much )

HB, Fertility Friend is an online resource for recording your morning temps and all cycle/droid symptoms: www.fertilityfriend.com Check it aaaaaht!

Salty, Zita West, Heavens praise her, is one of the UK's top fertility experts/Gurus/deities. A personal consult with her would cost 100s, so am reet chuffed at kinda getting one for free (if not the actual info). I always have to be complicated

HeadLove I am size 16 and BMI 28. How does that work?

On a more negative side, they did tell me that every little (Un)helps and one should really try for the optimum weight.

Wanna join me on a diet?

In my defense little miss Scorperiorthan thou I specifically choose books like Monsieur King when I am feeling emotionally fragile and can't really focus on anything more highbrow. See also watching Jeremy Kyle. So there. Obviously the rest of the tiem i am reading Kafka.

Never heard of her. wonder if she has heard of Slippery Womb Disorder

gah, gah! time. Not tiem.

SheBangs,SheBangs, the weight Vs fertility thing is usually due to the fact that in many women, being overweight stops them ovulating or ovulating properly. I heard that if you Ov normally and are a leedle bit Chubby Checker then it's not so big a deal (if you pardon the pun). Is best for all health to be a 'normal' BMI, sadly. We must crack on with our respective weightloss regimes (mine has stalled a bit of late).

I saw a report earlier saying that Dutch researchers discovered that IVF increases a woman's chances of dying in pregnancy or birth and that it increases an IVF-child's chance of getting childhood cancers Why don't they just blame women of childbearing age for the Holocaust and have done? It could scarcely make us feel more guilty, nervous and sad

I'll take one for the team. Holocaust was all down to me.

I also buy Pratchett in hardback. Also if I'm reading (for eg.) 1 x Golding, 1 x Agatha Christie, 1 x Geoffrey Hill and 1 x Proust, I will always read the Christie on the bus. And have a Georgette Heyer sticking out of my bag. Sheer devilment .

Mountie I am 5 foot 8 and weirdly heavy for my (not inconsiderable) size. Oh and I only average out at a 16 - I take a 14 top and 18 bottom . I am dieting acksherly and have lost 'alf a stone, and am encouraging myself that with one more babyfail comes one more cycle of weight-loss, so that when I eventually get diffed I am not as enormo to start with, which can only augur well for 8-month weigh-ins! I'm doing Nutracheck and cannot recommend it enough.

evening BESHies, boo to droid CraniumCracker but i am still clinging to the Cliffs of Hope with my bleeding finger tips, using the Crampons of Denial for extra purchase. I won't believe it til full on droid appears.

Scorpelina I don't what what is more MAZIN, your Zita West once removed consultation, your list of medical misadventures or the fact that you are expected to spend and entire week with your inlaws. (blatantly the latter) Can you get a blood test or something to confirm the too much oestrogen thingy? Far be it for me to question the word of Zita but might be good to get it corroborated?

Quaintlittlevillages you finished it in ONE DAY? impressive stuff.

Crappy day, feel knackered, want to go the pub quiz but not sure i can drag myself out of the house.. Before you start its just cos I was in meetings all day which are draining.

Today I became aware just how much I would weigh if I were to gain baby weight, and I would be huge. Seriously, weight of a big man. That could not be good for my skeleton! Therefore must lose weight.

I second your guilt-trip rant Core. Your prescribed regime does sound full on, but imagine how amazing you'd feel if you managed it! In fact, I'd be jealous, I secretly want to have a lifestyle like that, but of course, am too crap.

Oi LittleGem hands off the crampons. Strictly for use by future BOC thanking you kindly.

To be fair, I do read quite quickly, AND it takes my mind off, y'know stuff.

PUB QUIZ!!!! Can we have one here if you're n0t going out? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease....

MTF that is what's sooooooo frightening. I keep imagining myself a size 20, nothing to wear but muu-muus sewn from burlap sacks, leaking milk from pendulous breasts swinging about my knees, complexion muddy with exhaustion, eyes gummed together with tears of Post-Natal Depression. NOT a heartening image, and more than likely if I don't pull myself together sharpish.

Lettuce you made me laugh (out loud).