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Chanel No5 The Advert: Part III (all welcome)

122 replies

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 20:35

Previously on Chanel No 5 The Advert: Part II

(voice over + a nice spot of Bach cello playing in the back ground)

Nicole is seen mournfully skating alone, in central park, its 3am, she only has a large minder for company, he is smoking

"She was still the most famous woman in the world"

"The memories of that night had never left her"

Nicole slips (daintilly), her muff skids across the ice, a squirrel nicks in....she gives chase, and who should come out from behind a tree with squirrel in his arms...

it's him

she gasps

he smiles

"I love to skate"

the squirrel has the chanel no 5 necklace thingmy in its teeth

The squirrel is wild,. it is friendly though. it is soothed in sexy guys warm capable hands.

Sexy eyes 'accidentally' drops the squirrel (still with muff) due to lusty surprise at seeing Nicole and the minder has given chase.

She unlaces her skates (a bit of old-fashioned freudian subtext)
and get in a tangle and he grabs her hand (chicken feet fingers)

He puts a warm capable hand over her chicken feet to put an end to the cackhandedness. Then there is a money shot look into each others eyes.

sexy eyes speaks (in Russian accent)
"there is something I must show you"

Next scene at the Guggenheim Museum. There is an exhibition about The Russian Tsars. Nicole has intrigued face on. Sexy Eyes is full of grim determination.

They walk hand in hand, looking at the oil paintings of the Russian Royals and then they stop.

There is a picture of Tsar Nicholas II, in his younger days and (Bach goes into minor key) He is the very spit of Sexy Eyes

Nicole: but?
Sexy eyes: yes, I am the king of Russia. I also have to hide myself away from the world

Another money shot deep look. they kiss

Nicole: but can we
SE: No never.......

Final scene

They leave the museum, Nicole steps into a hot air balloon. the squirrel is there aswell (with muff). As the ballon rises their clasping hands slip apart.......

Camera pans up to shot of balloon with Chanel No5 logo on.

OP posts:
SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 20:37

baldy are you there....

So I had some thoughts on part three. We could continue with the winter sports angle, or take her to a new location, possibly Africa or maybe PNG, somewhere remote.

OP posts:
TurkeyLurkyWithAllTheTrimmings · 28/12/2008 20:39

Not seen this before but love it. Rofled at Chicken feet. Genius.

BBBee · 28/12/2008 20:39

my god - are you bonkers?

i reckon the independant has their front page story for tomorrow....

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 20:42

We wrote part II last year. It was ace, a whole load of us, Kathy6inches was here too. And others. I can't watch the ad now without thinking of mn. Baldy and I thought we'd make it an annual event to add another part (well I did, I can't speak for baldy, maybe she is just beig kind to a strange lady)

anyhows

themes for 2008?

OP posts:
ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 20:44

Righty -o

(had a phone call grrr)

Let me see

[scratches chin(s)]

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 20:45

With the winter sports I was thinking

"I love to curl"

"I love to luge"

" I love to skeleton run" (this could have great impact as Nicole could hurtle head first down the run, take her helmet of with the swooshy hair and then say the line)

OP posts:
DoesntChristmasDragOn · 28/12/2008 20:49

Is her muff furry?

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 20:49

ROFL! I'm at my mum and dad's and now trying to explain this, they don't understand being on mumsnet all evening anyway without trying to explain reworking Nicole's finest hour!

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 20:51

Ooooh yes she could do dogsledding (mush my darlings, mush) and Ice-fishing too

Drops her line through the hole

SHivers fetchingly, tossing her hair in the slight breeze

(luckily her chicken feet hands are mittened up)

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 20:52

Then he sledges past, dogs baying in a thrilling manner

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 20:53

ghaaa have to do washing up

hold fast....

OP posts:
ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 20:54

She luges past, I am liking the head first part, obv there is opportunity for some kind of erm wardrobe malfunction with the protective headgear [evil cackle]

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 20:54

She could look all panicked at the washing up, with one curl tumbling across her frightened fawn expression.

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 20:55

[screeches to a halt]

[sound of a needle scratching a record for extra drama]

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 20:55

Frightened fawn, yes, v good

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 20:56

Frightened fawn leaps on to dog sledge and hoarsly cries "drive" in desperation

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 20:57

Sexy bloke leans forward manfully and says "actually, it's mush"

Dogs leap forward as one and they are swept away from all that torrid fish gutting and washing up hellishness

GoodWilfToAllMN · 28/12/2008 21:00

ROFL at muff skidding on the ice (must have chafed a touch?)

DoubleBluff · 28/12/2008 21:01

i must admit i thought part 2 was real. well no more daft tha the first!
How about a credit crunch version?
Where Nicole is reduced to cleaning to support her half french love child.
' I am a scrubber. I love to sscrub.'
As she pushe a tumbling curl back under her head scaarf,....

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 21:02

MUFF CHAFING

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 21:04

ooh i like the idea of a credit crunch version, down on her luck Nicole is reduced to working Cinderella-like in a dingy kitchen of a large stately home.

MarshaBrady · 28/12/2008 21:05

Up to "I love to luge" line Nicole must be properly buttoned up, completely neat and tidy.

Upon uttering 'I love to..', her hair will suddenly become a tousled mass, clothes practically fall off and wardrobe to apply excess spittle to her lips.

Sexy man MUST be able to communicate startled fawn look through slightly crossed eyes.

GoodWilfToAllMN · 28/12/2008 21:06

Sorry, sorry, sorry: REWIND... Nicole cannot do frightened fawn anymore surely?

Being all, er, paralyzed and all?

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 21:07

wilf!

we'll have to agree it'll be Nicole's version of startled fawn.... signified by tumbling lock of hair perhaps?

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 21:07

Great she gets to wear evening length pink marigolds heh heh heh

So

She is riddling a grate, with a streak of snot soot across her porcelain cheek

She hears a floorboard creak, turns, and there towering above her (as gandalf appeared to the hobbits, y'know, clever camera angles and ornage boxes were involved) is him