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Chanel No5 The Advert: Part III (all welcome)

122 replies

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 20:35

Previously on Chanel No 5 The Advert: Part II

(voice over + a nice spot of Bach cello playing in the back ground)

Nicole is seen mournfully skating alone, in central park, its 3am, she only has a large minder for company, he is smoking

"She was still the most famous woman in the world"

"The memories of that night had never left her"

Nicole slips (daintilly), her muff skids across the ice, a squirrel nicks in....she gives chase, and who should come out from behind a tree with squirrel in his arms...

it's him

she gasps

he smiles

"I love to skate"

the squirrel has the chanel no 5 necklace thingmy in its teeth

The squirrel is wild,. it is friendly though. it is soothed in sexy guys warm capable hands.

Sexy eyes 'accidentally' drops the squirrel (still with muff) due to lusty surprise at seeing Nicole and the minder has given chase.

She unlaces her skates (a bit of old-fashioned freudian subtext)
and get in a tangle and he grabs her hand (chicken feet fingers)

He puts a warm capable hand over her chicken feet to put an end to the cackhandedness. Then there is a money shot look into each others eyes.

sexy eyes speaks (in Russian accent)
"there is something I must show you"

Next scene at the Guggenheim Museum. There is an exhibition about The Russian Tsars. Nicole has intrigued face on. Sexy Eyes is full of grim determination.

They walk hand in hand, looking at the oil paintings of the Russian Royals and then they stop.

There is a picture of Tsar Nicholas II, in his younger days and (Bach goes into minor key) He is the very spit of Sexy Eyes

Nicole: but?
Sexy eyes: yes, I am the king of Russia. I also have to hide myself away from the world

Another money shot deep look. they kiss

Nicole: but can we
SE: No never.......

Final scene

They leave the museum, Nicole steps into a hot air balloon. the squirrel is there aswell (with muff). As the ballon rises their clasping hands slip apart.......

Camera pans up to shot of balloon with Chanel No5 logo on.

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 21:54

Cut to Sexy Eyes, close up, those sexy eyes are squinting as he searches the distant horizon. Somewhere far below him, his beloved is screaming down a luge run in a Chanel be-logoed luge, we hear a voice over say "I'll never forget her smile, her perfume, her luge"

Hassled · 28/12/2008 21:54

This is fantastic

Agree the squirrel should make an appearance - could the Russian have kept it as a pampered pet all these years? With it's very own Chanel necklace?

Who's in a position to run it past Nicole, then?

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 21:56

Or.... the squirrel could be in a little golden cage in the Louis XIV apartment, a la Vanessa Paradis in earlier chanel advert?

Hassled · 28/12/2008 21:56

Maybe a squirrel made of Lego in the background somewhere would suffice...

RustyBear · 28/12/2008 21:56

I don't think Nicole would be a winter sports fan - apparently she had heaters buried under the soil at the spot where she stood when they were filming Cold Mountain in Romania.

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 21:57

sorry I need to back track here.

Nicole meets sexy eyes in damp parisienne street by shouting "Drive" like a mad women in a A la recherche du temps perdu moment?

OP posts:
ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 21:57

at under snow heaters

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 21:57

Ah, but when you're being paid a squillion to make an advert for chanel, and you're given fur lined rags to wear, she can swallow that "I don't like the cold" crap and get on with it!

We all know why she doesn't like the cold don't we? Makes those chicken feet hands go blue and knobbly!

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 21:59

HF NICE chanel ad linkage going on there

the squireel is in a golden cage. That is fucking beautiful. He has kept it all this time.

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 21:59

something like that slubber, could be street, would make more sense for the "drive" pant, but then it doesn't make sense in the original (they're gridlocked in traffic ffs Nicole!) so why would it here?

DoubleBluff · 28/12/2008 21:59

Lego squirrel - love it!
Maybe she could loose a led in theluge accidnet and marry a millionaire older pot smoking pop star, then divorce him, and gets lots of ....sorry was thinking of someone else

HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 22:00

PMSL doublebluff!

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 22:08

at this

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 22:11

ooh have just had a moment

maybe

she is at the top of the luge run, limbering up as they do, pushing the sledge back and forward in a mastubatory type fashion

she looks up

she sees him in the crowd

their eyes lock

he is distracted by a kiss to his cheek by a lusty brunette (with giant bear skin hat, so we know she is also of Russian lineage)

Nicole recoils

She shouts DRIVE but chicken hand not clutching luge handle properly

she tumbles

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 28/12/2008 22:12

like it.... like it.... but how do they reconcile their love by the end of the ad? Or do they? Could string out Nicole's wistfulness for a few more teaser ads before completing the story with a bumper two minute add just before the Queen's speech on Christmas day (I should be in marketing!)

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 22:16

oh yes I think we should let the sexual tension, will they won't they, rack up for a few more years.

I'm sure we can discover in 2010 that it is a marriage of convenience or a sham to distract the authorities.

OP posts:
TheYearOfTheCat · 28/12/2008 22:19

What about instead of sooty scrubber in magnificent Paris mansion, she is sexily mucking out in squirrle sanctuary? Lots of wildlife, autumnal colours (to match hair) etc - because squirrels remind her of HIM!

RustyBear · 28/12/2008 22:22

Chanel lego...

SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 22:23

Cat that is good, but I have concerns. We don't want Nicole to look like a mad cat lady but with squirrels.

After all we are trying to sell perfume, we are trying to sell a dream...

OP posts:
SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 22:25

ooh look at that Chanel logo girl. Pity she isn't wearing a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE pink feather boa dress, then sexy eyes could carry one around with him, and finger it when he gets anxious.

OP posts:
SlubberdegullionMitSpeck · 28/12/2008 22:26

Finger it in a NICE soothing rubbing way, not as a weirdy freak lego molester.

OP posts:
ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 22:29
Hassled · 28/12/2008 22:32

So you have:

she is at the top of the luge run, limbering up as they do, pushing the sledge back and forward in a mastubatory type fashion

she looks up

she sees him in the crowd

their eyes lock

he is distracted by a kiss to his cheek by a lusty brunette (with giant bear skin hat, so we know she is also of Russian lineage)

Nicole recoils

She shouts DRIVE but chicken hand not clutching luge handle properly

she tumbles

Cut to:
she ends up penniless and scrubbing floors in a Parisien Palais, living in a garret with water dripping down the walls, sharing a bed with a grimy faced urchin she found wandering the streets.

She murmurs 'I am a scrubber. I love to scrub.' as she pushes a tumbling curl back under her head scaarf,....

It's Christmas, they're hungry and alone, walking streets strewn with sparkling Christmas lights. They pause at a magical toy store with a huge lego display in the window. At the centre of the display is the intertwined double Cs logo.

Later on in the damp garret, Nicole pulls her Chanel No5 necklace from under the matress, turns it over and over in her chicken feet hands and dreams (I'm a dreamer, I love to dream)...

Cut to tumbling muff/tumbling curl. Muff lands at her feet as she's scrubbing floors in the Palais. She looks up to the towering manliness of Sexy Eyes. He leans down and pulls her to him....

the squirrel could be in a little golden cage in the Louis XIV apartment, a la Vanessa Paradis in earlier chanel advert? (or made of Lego)

What needs adding? Where are you on the passion consummated or not?

DoubleBluff · 28/12/2008 22:38

oh I love it, burst out laughing, and distracted Dh from MOTD!!

ToysAreLikeDogs · 28/12/2008 22:38

OH bravo

I am pondering the consummation q

[adopts the pose ]

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