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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Wail ,don't flame me I already know [sob] [sob] [sob]

146 replies

Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:08

I have namechanged because I feel so stupid please bear with me while I try and explain.

My sister and DD [7] are very very close ,in the summer when xmas seemed ages away and nothing to worry about ,my sister was going on about how she and her DH found xmas so boring (they are having lots of problems TTC so probably feeling this time of year more) and how it wasn't the same without a lo there to open gifts . So my DD piped up that she would stay there xmas eve I was a bit but after a couple of glasses of wine and them all taking about how exciting it would be I sort of sgreed then forgot about it .
Last night dsis rang me to arrange when she would be picking dd up xmas eve [gulp] .
The arrangement is she spends xmas eve at sisters and meets us at my Mums at about 10am xmas day .

DD is so excited ,sister is so excited I am not I feel sick ,and after just reading some of the other thread on here I feel even worse.

How can I put my other DC to bed xmas eve and her not be there, and Dp has the massive hump with me because he wasn't there when I said yes .

I need to get out of it what do I do , dsis is also very forceful and I am not I am a pushover who runs round trying to please everyone .

OP posts:

ingles2 · 10/12/2008 11:11

sorry if these have been answered already. But do you have other dc? from different relationships? does you dp get to spend much time with your dd? just wondering as this will affect the decision I think.

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 10/12/2008 11:15

No they are all his DC ,I think most times of the year he would be grateful for someone to take them overnight ,but he wants her home for xmas. (so do I)

OP posts:

ingles2 · 10/12/2008 11:16

But there are other dc? How old are they?

Dropdeadfred · 10/12/2008 11:27

Okay my view here is that she says Christmas is not the same wihout seeing LOs opening pressies - won't she see your LOs do this at 10am at your mums house on Christmas day??? (You can always take some pressies round too so they have xtra there).
Also she says she wants your dd round for christmas eve but has now decided to go elsewhere (MILS) for company and drinks until midnight.. desn't seem that her and her dh are content then just to have your dd to entertin that night...?

In light of these two issues I would say no.

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 10/12/2008 11:29

They are 11.9,5 and 2.

OP posts:

ChristmasDisco · 10/12/2008 11:30

So why not a sleepover on Christmas Day night? Sorry to repeat myself.

2pt4WiseMen · 10/12/2008 11:32

Let her go!!!!!!!!!!!
She is so excited about it and your sister is so excited about it.
They've been planning it since the Summer and you AGREED and now 2 weeks before Christmas you are changing your mind because YOU want to have Chrsitmas the way you'd like rather than how your DD likes.

Let her go!!

Just email your sister back and say theres no way DD will manage to have a happy and un-tired Xmas day with going to bed so late, so if she still wants her to stay over she needs to make sure she is in bed by X time please.
Also Father Chrsitmas will leave main pressies at your house so other children and you can see her open them
plus they are all invited to yours for brekkie at 8 am or if sister doesnt want to do that can she bring DD home for 9am

If sister doesnt agree to those rules THEN think about saying she cant go, but not just because you want her home for yourself!

PS. If you do say no and DD is upset then it wont be the happiest of Chrsitmas mornings anyway will it, with a sulky 7 yo!

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 10/12/2008 11:32

I don't think they would want her christmas day night because they like to have a drink .

OP posts:

ingles2 · 10/12/2008 11:38

well it's a no then. I don't think it's reasonable for your sis to single out one child, especially when there is a 5 yr old involved. I think your sis has got slightly skewed with ttc. IMO it's kind of like saying you have 4 and I haven't so I'll borrow one of yours. However much your dd loves her Auntie, would she really not want to be with her brothers and sisters on Xmas morning? I don't think so...
so...
Copy and paste this in an email stupid.

Hi Sis...
I'm really sorry to upset you but I've come to a decision that dd won't be coming to stay overnight with you on Xmas Eve. DH feels very strongly that dd should be with her brothers/sisters and parents on this night and to be honest I agree. I totally understand that Xmas is a bit boring without children so how about you come round to ours really early, say 6, to help them open their stockings? or dd could always stay over on Boxing day. I'm sorry if this is a disappointment but I should have never agreed it without talking to dh or all the children first.
Let me know what you think.
x Stupid

ChristmasDisco · 10/12/2008 11:42

I think that email sounds a good idea.

compo · 10/12/2008 11:42

yes just copy and paste Ingles2' email, press send and worry no more
job done

Dropdeadfred · 10/12/2008 11:43

In light of these two issues I would say no.

RTKangaSANTAMummy · 10/12/2008 12:03

IMHO

I think your DD should stay at home esp since the email from her

If she wanted to spend the time with your DD why can't she come round on Christmas eve until children go to bed and then come round again as soon as they wake up?????

I think DD should go to stay the night the night BEFORE christmas eve when the excitement is still

SO then DD has the christmas sleepover but on the 23rd of december and then returns to you on Chrisrtmas eve morning

So sis has the excitment of the anticipation of DD but DD is at home over christmas

thenewme · 10/12/2008 18:33

It seemed like your DD was going to get one to one special attention from her aunite and now she isn't. I think you have decided it is a no. You just have to tell your DD and your sister.

pigleypudding · 11/12/2008 12:55

we need an update...

What did you decide? If you said no. what did your sister say?

santapaws · 17/12/2008 09:24

So, what did u do?

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 24/12/2008 19:59

Sorry for taking so long to update ,well I let her go and its bloody awful .

I have cried on and off all day on Dp's shoulder.

She is only going to her MILS until 8pm then taking her back to hers for bath and bed .

I couldn't say no last week she showed me the stocking she had filled for her and and some other little stuff she had done she is so so excited and so is DD TBH which if I admit I do resent .

She has got a bit of an attitude over me not letting dd have santa deliver his presents there ,she has a massive stocking to open ,two gifts from me and dp and gifts dsis has bought so she wont go without ,then when we get home she will have her gifts from Santa . She made a comment about me having 4 others to watch open gifts which IMO was out of order.
I am determined that this is a one off and none of my dc will ever spend xmas eve anywhere else again (until they are 25 ).

Thanks for all advice on here and for not flaming me

merry Christmas only a few hours until I see my lovely DD.

OP posts:

needmorecoffee · 24/12/2008 20:05

I think you've done a nice thing and your dd will feel special and have fun and your sister is getting to experience something that she cant for herself.

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 24/12/2008 20:08

Thanks NMC . I have just rang and she sounds hyper , but she sounds very happy and so does dsis.

She has had more bad news from hospital regarding TTC so Christmas is probably going to be a shitty time for them anyway ,so hopefully dd will help ,thats what I keep telling myself when I have a wobble ,its only a few hours .

OP posts:

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 24/12/2008 20:09

aww - FWIW I do think you've made the right cchoice (though probably doesn't feel like it right now ).

I bet she'll have a great time, and she'll remember this for years to come "The Christmas I stayed with my Aunty"

LucyEllensmummy · 24/12/2008 20:11

what a lovely person you are - its an awkward situation, but i bet DD will just lurrrrve being the centre of attention

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