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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Wail ,don't flame me I already know [sob] [sob] [sob]

146 replies

Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:08

I have namechanged because I feel so stupid please bear with me while I try and explain.

My sister and DD [7] are very very close ,in the summer when xmas seemed ages away and nothing to worry about ,my sister was going on about how she and her DH found xmas so boring (they are having lots of problems TTC so probably feeling this time of year more) and how it wasn't the same without a lo there to open gifts . So my DD piped up that she would stay there xmas eve I was a bit but after a couple of glasses of wine and them all taking about how exciting it would be I sort of sgreed then forgot about it .
Last night dsis rang me to arrange when she would be picking dd up xmas eve [gulp] .
The arrangement is she spends xmas eve at sisters and meets us at my Mums at about 10am xmas day .

DD is so excited ,sister is so excited I am not I feel sick ,and after just reading some of the other thread on here I feel even worse.

How can I put my other DC to bed xmas eve and her not be there, and Dp has the massive hump with me because he wasn't there when I said yes .

I need to get out of it what do I do , dsis is also very forceful and I am not I am a pushover who runs round trying to please everyone .

OP posts:
DoesntChristmasDragOn · 09/12/2008 14:23

Worms.

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 14:24

well in that case i would say no, xmas morning is a special time for parents and children and if you are spending xmas day and boxing day with her, she will se plenty of your family. if she is very keen on being there for presents then she will have to stay with you and the dog will have to wait a bit later for brekkie. she doesnt live hours away does she?

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 09/12/2008 14:25

Just say you didn't ever think it was serious and that there is no way you want to wake up on Xmas Day with one of your DCs not there. Your DD will be fine. She will prob change her mind nearer the time anyway. In fact - you could sort of push her into changing her mind and tell your sis that DD doesn't really want to go.

santasinmywaistband · 09/12/2008 14:25

Can you suggest that both DC need to be together on Xmas eve. It sounds like she obviously is not that keen to have DS there( My dsis would never suggest only having one especially on such a special day) She may then change her mind.
If still not then I would say DH not happy, its the truth

Original poster
Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:26

No she lives a 10 minute walk away ,she just always wants everything her way . I am going to be hard and say NO.

OP posts:
givethedogachristmaspudd · 09/12/2008 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 09/12/2008 14:27

Ok, who is this Christmas for?

As we are adults, surely the emphasis of Christmas is now upon the children? Therefore sometimes we have to do things we don't like for their sakes. For example, I would prefer to be with friends and go to the pub, but I can't, I have to drive 3 hours to stay with my in-laws over Christmas because my dc's love it there and would be heartbroken if they didn't see granny over Christmas. So it means a boring and shite time for me, but it's made better seeing their faces so happy. Not that I'll get to see them much, they ignore me once we get there, granny takes over and I have to sacrifice Christmas Day with my kids but not really with them iykwim.

And also, what is Christmas all about? Goodwill isn't it? Just think of what a good deed you would be doing for your sister. Usually she spends Christmas without the joy of children, feeling alone and lonely and sad. But this Christmas, thanks to your generosity, she has something to look forward to and her Christmas will be made special.

Your dd is also very excited and bless her - she has inherited your selflessness in choosing to spend her time with your sister.

You still have your other children with you, so you still get to see their excited faces and listen to their rabble as they open their presents - ok, you may wish your dd was there, but your Christmas will not be as sad as your sister's if she had no children there.

You can keep some of your dd's presents at yours for her to open with you when she returns at 10am. It's not a long time is it? She's not spending the entire day with them.

It's just for this year. It would make your sister so happy. Go with it and remind your dp of what Christmas is all about. You are so lucky to have your children around you, spread a little of your luck this Christmas.

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 14:27

you can always hold back a few presents until they arrive so they are sure to see some of that excitement. my mum always had one for the dinner table.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 09/12/2008 14:28

Say you were drunk when you agreed and it is not going to happen because your DP is furious at you.

Original poster
Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:28

Hahahaha I can just see their faces if I offer to let them have all 5 of my dc over n xmas eve.

I am going to have a chat with DD tonight and sort of drop in all the lovely things we will be doing ,then tell my sister NO.

OP posts:
CuddlyUnderTheMistletoe · 09/12/2008 14:29

What if she stays at your sister's on Christmas night instead?

Say it's come down to it and you have changed your mind but here is a compromise.

Original poster
Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:30

See now CliffRichard has given me guilt again .

OP posts:
Tortington · 09/12/2008 14:30

i gave my twins away one christmas - twas bliss.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 09/12/2008 14:30

I have to say I agree with Cliff too.........

Tortington · 09/12/2008 14:31

10 am not long

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 09/12/2008 14:31

I feel a little differently now I see there are 4 other children... I'd be more inclined to let her go in those circumstances but ask that they bring her back earlier at 9 and hold back presents til then.

Original poster
Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:32

Did you really Custardo ? I know they would both love it but I want her here [stamps foot].

OP posts:
givethedogachristmaspudd · 09/12/2008 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Merrylegs · 09/12/2008 14:34

But WAIT wouldn't it be better to say NO to your sister first, and then convince your DD?

What if your sis does throw a complete wobbly and threatens to boycott Xmas or something?

What if she gives you such a hard time that you (as nice pleaser) renage and say OK your DD can go.

If you've already given your DD the hard sell about how much she will be missing out on at home that would be terrible for her.

Does your DD still want to go, btw?

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 14:36

agree with cliff but i dont think it should mean your dd being elswhere, it could start an annual tradition where dd wants to go every year and then the others can ask to go elswhere aswell. then you have no argument for refusing. i think you need to be firm and say that xmas is very imortant while your children are still young and you want to spend it with them all, would they still have asked if you only had one child???? leaving you childless on xmas day?? she is your child and as much as i appreciate that xmas is about giving and goodwill, i think it was an unreasonable request from your sis and she should make an effort to spend time with your family if it is what she wants, and not just pick one of your children to play family with. if she lives ten minutes away she can head over to yours early and catch all the fun, she would be up that early if your DD was staying anyway, and if this doesnt appeal to her then she can lie in with the dog til ten.

Blu · 09/12/2008 14:36

I agree with Cliff....BUT insist that your SIS brings her back toyours before you meet her at your mums. Preferably in time for breakfast.

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 09/12/2008 14:36

If your dd wants to go, let her. Christmas is FOR your children, not in spite of them.

Tortington · 09/12/2008 14:38

i really did - they went for a week - i was left with older one who we spoiled rotten and we were able tospend more money on - and money was tight at the time. all was fairly quiet at home and ds was well chuffed he was centre of attention

and sibling rivalry being what it is - the twins wanted to come hom to see what ds had got and ds was busting to see twins to see what they had got.

it was fab.

Tortington · 09/12/2008 14:39

i disagree rhubarb CHRISTMAS IS FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Fennel · 09/12/2008 14:39

Invite her round for early morning present and stocking fun, if she can't stay over due to dog.

We used to spend Christmas with SIL and her little children, before we had children, it was fun, waking up with the stockings. Especially more fun when you aren't being woken at 5am year round.

I agree, number of children doesn't mean that you want one not there. It might be nice for the dd too to realise you would miss her personally, and that it matters to you that she's there, even if she has 4 siblings.