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Christmas

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Original poster

Wail ,don't flame me I already know [sob] [sob] [sob]

146 replies

Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:08

I have namechanged because I feel so stupid please bear with me while I try and explain.

My sister and DD [7] are very very close ,in the summer when xmas seemed ages away and nothing to worry about ,my sister was going on about how she and her DH found xmas so boring (they are having lots of problems TTC so probably feeling this time of year more) and how it wasn't the same without a lo there to open gifts . So my DD piped up that she would stay there xmas eve I was a bit but after a couple of glasses of wine and them all taking about how exciting it would be I sort of sgreed then forgot about it .
Last night dsis rang me to arrange when she would be picking dd up xmas eve [gulp] .
The arrangement is she spends xmas eve at sisters and meets us at my Mums at about 10am xmas day .

DD is so excited ,sister is so excited I am not I feel sick ,and after just reading some of the other thread on here I feel even worse.

How can I put my other DC to bed xmas eve and her not be there, and Dp has the massive hump with me because he wasn't there when I said yes .

I need to get out of it what do I do , dsis is also very forceful and I am not I am a pushover who runs round trying to please everyone .

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfBaileys · 09/12/2008 14:39

So if she lives 10 minutes walk I would scrap the meeting at Your Mums at 10am - I would suggest she goes to sleep at your sisters and that they all join you for a fantastic Christmas breakfast at 8.30-9am.

Be honest with your sister.. you agreed and will stand by it but you are in bother with DP and your heart isn't in it... you don't want to let either of them down.. could they come to you for breakfast..

if she is an average 7 year old they will probably have been up from 6 ish so 8.30 for breakfast gives them time to open up a stocking and be excited - you could also say she will be excited to see if Father Christmas has delivered her pressies to home.

GOOD LUCK!

DaphneMoon · 09/12/2008 14:42

Anyway, what's the betting on Christmas eve your DD changes her mind at the last minute and wants to stay at home! Your sis will have to like it or lump it.

TeeBee · 09/12/2008 14:42

I am going to go against the grain and say, personally, I would let my kids stay at my sister's on Xmas eve. But then my sister has been my rock at times and I do share my kids with her (she also no kids because has been unable to have them). It is only one year (day really) and will be a special, special memory for both of them for ever. I would take advantage by getting absolutely wrecked and having a party and not having to worry about a hangover the morning after.

DaphneMoon · 09/12/2008 14:43

Prob been mentioned but if she only lives 10 minutes away, but can't stop the night. Ring her very early morning to get her there in time for your DC's to come downstairs, that way she will experience the excitement of the DC's realising Santa has been etc.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 09/12/2008 14:44

If your sis lives so close, can't you say that dd will stay at home but you will phone her at 5am when the dc's first wake up.

She can then come over and enjoy all the chaos fun

jumpingbeans · 09/12/2008 14:44

pmsl @ nits and worms

DaphneMoon · 09/12/2008 14:44

How come she doesn't want to have all the children with her only one? Seems a bit unfair to me.

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 14:44

there are 4 other children, she cant get wrecked!!! well she can but then santa might 'forget 'to visit

No19 · 09/12/2008 14:46

I would like to add that if you decide your dd won't be staying with your sister I don't think it's right to be trying to influence your dd not to want to go by dropping large hints about all the lovely things she'll be missing with you. I think that kind of thing can really undermine the relationship. If you don't want her to go, you have to have the guts to tell your sister that. Don't use your daughter to get the result you want. Sorry if that sounds harsh. I feel strongly about it. Good luck.

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 09/12/2008 14:46

custardo - why couldn't I have my kids young and you have them when you're my age???? I wasted my bloody youth and now I know what to do with my freedom it's bloody gone!

TeeBee · 09/12/2008 14:47

Realised that after I'd posted. I would still let her go. It's one evening.

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 14:49

actually no 19, has very good point, it should be plain and simple, no shes not going and why. and the same to DD. however, reminding your daughter of how wonderful xmas morning will be with her there is still important, she needs to no that you want her there as an individual and not just all the kids together. IYSWIM

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 14:54

just to add, i spent my sons first 3 xmas's at my parents, but this year we are having it at home and my parents are having to visit us on xmas day. they will now only have each other and my grown up sister, but they understand that we are a family in our own right and it is important for us to spend xmas as a family. if my son did insist on being at grannys i would refuse and explain that we want him here with mummy and daddy. and thats what would happen.

TooFoggy · 09/12/2008 14:55

I would tell your sister how you feel, and see what she says, she may well suggest DD stays the next night instead and you wont have to be the badie. I couldnt let mine go either, despite the longing for a quiet night with DH and a lay in.

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 09/12/2008 14:56

Rather selfish is it not?

That just means that YOU get the Christmas YOU want and your dc's feel resentful because THEY can't do what THEY want.

How about a little give and take? At this one time of the year is it really too much to ask for a little goodwill and selflessness?

TooFoggy · 09/12/2008 14:57

just read that there are 4 others, wont they really miss her?

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 09/12/2008 14:58

What, for 2 hours on Christmas morning? She's only 10mins away! It's not like they have to spend a whole day without her.

Kids are selfish by nature, they'll just think it means more attention for them.

Helsbels4 · 09/12/2008 15:00

You just need to explain to your sister that you're really getting your knickers in a twist about dd not being there and that sis will either have to come to yours early to watch all the dc's open their pressies or else she will have to bring dd back to be with the others for pressie opening. Sis might surprise you and be really understanding

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 15:02

her daughter can spend any other night of the year with sis, but xmas is different, xmas is for families to enjoy together, all the more important when children are small, and as has been mentioned, it wouldnt be a great task for sis to come round early in the morning, after all, she is aunty, not second mummy. just because OP has 5 children, doesnt mean she will mind any less if one isnt there. they are all her children. she went out and bought all their presents individually, considering all of their tastes and wants, shouldnt she be the one who gets to see the joy on each of their faces when they discover what they have been given by santa.

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 15:03

imagine if they take photos and dd isnt in them. how awful.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 09/12/2008 15:04

what so the camera is going to be put away at 10am when the DD comes home????

OsmosisBOOnana · 09/12/2008 15:05

I'm pretty sure any sane person would understand how you feel about this. She may well be upset but surely she'll see why you want her with you?

pigleypudding · 09/12/2008 15:06

I think it would be odd having one of your DC missing on xmas morning.

Try explaining tour feelings to your DS. If she kicks off then tough... Im sure she will understand when she has her own children.

Offer for them to stay at yours with ALL the DC.. much more fun with more kids

If she declines she will be see the children at 10am anyway and have the joy of their presence then.

Or just blame DH!

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 15:06

no but you can hardly ask all the other children to wait til ten to open presents.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 09/12/2008 15:08

well I don't know about your Christmas photos - but the photos I have of the last 7 Christmases with at least one DC show individual phtos of the children - anyone else could/could not have been there and the photos would show no different.

And you are of course assuming that the SIL won't take any photos at her house.

It's only until 10am they've still got the rest of the day!!

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