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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Wail ,don't flame me I already know [sob] [sob] [sob]

146 replies

Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 14:08

I have namechanged because I feel so stupid please bear with me while I try and explain.

My sister and DD [7] are very very close ,in the summer when xmas seemed ages away and nothing to worry about ,my sister was going on about how she and her DH found xmas so boring (they are having lots of problems TTC so probably feeling this time of year more) and how it wasn't the same without a lo there to open gifts . So my DD piped up that she would stay there xmas eve I was a bit but after a couple of glasses of wine and them all taking about how exciting it would be I sort of sgreed then forgot about it .
Last night dsis rang me to arrange when she would be picking dd up xmas eve [gulp] .
The arrangement is she spends xmas eve at sisters and meets us at my Mums at about 10am xmas day .

DD is so excited ,sister is so excited I am not I feel sick ,and after just reading some of the other thread on here I feel even worse.

How can I put my other DC to bed xmas eve and her not be there, and Dp has the massive hump with me because he wasn't there when I said yes .

I need to get out of it what do I do , dsis is also very forceful and I am not I am a pushover who runs round trying to please everyone .

OP posts:

Aitch · 09/12/2008 15:10

bythepowerofbaileys had it right. let her go and then have a three line whip for a family breakfast at 8.30am. she'll miss nothing.

wannaBe · 09/12/2008 15:18

but it was the op's dd who suggested she go and stay at her auntie's on Christmas eve - not the op's sister who suggested it (if I've read the op right?)

If the op's sister is having problems ttc then this might be the only chance she ever has to have a christmas morning waking up with a little one to share it with. Do you really want to take that away from her?

SeamusTheElf · 09/12/2008 15:22

Let her go and all have an early breakfast at yours and open presents together. Be honest with your sister, she may be more than willing to come as soon as DD wakes - even just come in PJs (we do presents in PJs here!) nice and early, open presents and have a breakfast (or whatever order you usually do it). THe main thing is your DD wants to go.

NowICanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 09/12/2008 15:26

I agree with wannabe. It's a huge thing to your sister. Your dd wants to go. You have other hcildren. YOu had last christmas and you have next christmas! Maybe next year you could invite your sister and husband over christmas EVE!? They could HELP out wiht all the present opening and taking toys out of awkward packaging and so on!

Fennel · 09/12/2008 15:31

My 7yo dd might suggest such a thing, my children also have my sister as a very invovled aunt, but I would still want her to know that she'd be missed too much at home, despite me having other dds. I think for my dd2 that would be very important, even though she's my most independent one, my feisty middle child, she needs to know she's indispensable to our family.

fatjac · 09/12/2008 15:32

I think if you can find a way to let her go you should. Get them to come round to your house for breakfast then all go to your mums together.

Imagine if your sister never has children. This might be her only chance to experience the whole Christmas Eve magic and will probably be the best present you could ever give her. I would think your daughter will relish getting to spend extra time with her aunt on her own too.

You are lucky that your sister is interested in spending time with your daughter. My sister stays 10 mins away and she pops in for half an hour about twice a year.

CatIsSleepy · 09/12/2008 15:32

I'd let her go
she can open the presents from your sister with her on xmas morning then back to yours nice and early for the rest of the presents

of course she may change her mind about wanting to go when it gets nearer to the time...?

hunkermunker · 09/12/2008 15:33

I think you'd be being very mean to stop her going.

I hope you can find it in your heart to be glad about giving a bit of happiness to your sister and your DD.

It's not like she's going for a fortnight. And you can work it so it's only an hour or so out of the morning if they come to you for breakfast.

CatIsSleepy · 09/12/2008 15:33

yep you'd be doing a very very nice thing for your sister

PuppyMonkeyNuts · 09/12/2008 15:38

I'm probably being a bit thick and not following it properly and all. But if the op and her sis only live ten minutes away from each other, why can't the sis come over on Christmas Eve for a bit? And then again first thing in the morning for a bit? But then the dd gets to stay with her family.

Sorry, it's all v well saying there are other kids, the op won't miss one etc. But Christmas is a special time - dd should be with her sisters and brothers doing all those special Christmas things that sisters and brothers do together on Christmas Eve!

The DD will probably realise this and decide she wants to stay at home any day now.

PuppyMonkeyNuts · 09/12/2008 15:38

The DD will probably realise this and decide she wants to stay at home any day now.

PuppyMonkeyNuts · 09/12/2008 15:39

Oh poo.

kitbit · 09/12/2008 15:44

Why is it exactly that you don't want her to go? Is it just tradition? Or because your dp is a bit annoyed?
If it were me I'd let her go, it's a huge adventure, it's a big show of trust from you which she will really appreciate, and it will be lovely for your sister. Your dd will also get to be the star of the show for a couple of hours, and be spoiled by herself before coming back to have a lovely time with the rest of the family. The only difference will be that she won't be SLEEPING at your house, but if you can steel yourself through that it'll be OK!!!

(and I agree, I think it would be a bit mean not to let her go now that she's all excited, and she would probably be cross with you for ages)

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 09/12/2008 15:44

God I feel physically ill at the thought of one of mine not being here on Christmas Eve, asleep in their little beds dreaming of Christmas while their dad and I are getting gently mullered and filling their stockings downstairs [possessive] [whimsical]

You shouldn't have agreed to it, obviously, but your sister sounds quite, um, assertive and it's possible you were fineigled into it while in drink - you just need to apologise and explain frankly that you can't possibly have your dd out of the house on Christmas Eve.

I think your dd would benefit from being told that she is just far too important a part of your family Christmas to be allowed to go, even if she's superficially disappointed that her little adventure is cancelled.

I'd invite the sister over early on Christmas morning for a nice family breakfast and stocking-fest. If she's still crestfallen, that's sad, but ultimately tough shit.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 09/12/2008 15:46

and Cliff, you're starting to sound unnervingly like your namesake there, with the whole "be selfless, spread a little Christmas magic" thing

uptomyeyes · 09/12/2008 15:48

I'd let her go....may suggest to my Dbro that he and SIL have all three of ours on Xmas Eve and bring them 'round for breakfast at say...10.30am on Xmas day. The first lie in for 11 years - that would be some christmas present for DH and I. Bliss

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 15:50

Sorry had to go pick dc up.
Thanks for all your replies I would love to just say yes I could let her go and know I would be doing a lovely thing ..but I feel terrible plus the whole opening her presents here ,my sister is more or less taking over she is expecting me to leave all the presents We have bought santa brings at her house so it looks like he has been to her house instead.

With regards to them coming here ,her Dp is very set in his ways and they are both very selfish they wont break their routine for anyone .

I have also found out in the last hour in an emai that she is wanting to take my DD round to her MIL's house for drinks on xmas eve so she will not be back at their house untl about midnight .

It just can't happen.

OP posts:

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 15:51

Sorry for typos ...cold fingers .

OP posts:

uptomyeyes · 09/12/2008 15:56

That puts a different spin on it.
Definately no to drinks till midnight and definitely no to Santa dropping the presents at their house. Yeek a child going to bed at midnight and then up at 6.30am -recipe for disaster!

I think your sis has now given you the perfect excuse to get out of this hasn't she? Email back and say that you don't want DD to have a late night on Christmas eve so thanks for lovely offer but she will be staying home with the other children.

PuppyMonkeyNuts · 09/12/2008 15:58

Well, now you have a proper reason not to let dd go!

pigleypudding · 09/12/2008 15:58

I think you need to do whats right for you and your family.

If your DD is upset it will soon be forgotten when the presents get opened!
Your sister will just have to respect your decision and im sure will understand when she has her own children- ask her and im sure she would feel the same.

I personally couldnt let her go... If the other options of them staying at yours aren't good enough then tough!! - Its a fair compromise.

Original poster

Iamastupidperson · 09/12/2008 15:59

I know I am not doing a stealth you will all come round to agreeing with me thread ,honest .

I did only just get the email ,she is so bloody scary she just assumes .

OP posts:

thenewme · 09/12/2008 16:00

Out until midnight? - finally, a proper (sorry) reason to say no to her going.

YeahBut · 09/12/2008 16:08

Well, that message gives you an out, thankfully. However, you did say to both your sister and your dd that she could sleep over on Xmas Eve. And now you want to break that promise because it will make you feel sad. How will your dd and dsis feel?

thatsnotmymonster · 09/12/2008 16:13

I think you should let her go.

Just think how wonderful it will be for your sis? What if she is never able to have children but will always remember that one special Christmas eve/morning that she shared with her niece.

Christmas is a lovely special time for families BUT your sis is family (is she not), you will have your dd all day Christmas day anyway and you will have her every other Christmas day, as you have had for the last 6/7 years.

I don't agree with rippng open presents first thing in the morning anyway. Ours are little so they will be paced throughout the day. When they get older they will open one in the morning and the rest in the afternoon.

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