Right. We've covered shite presents we have received. From every conceivable angle. Now, lets move onto shite presents we have ^given^.

[moondog]

The gift set of Royal Jelly smellies from Boots to MIL was a definite low in my giving history it must be said. Found in original packaging in box room on her demise some 10 years later.

A bleeping pillbox which told MiL when to take the pills which keep her alive (what was I thinking? )

The welly remover we have bought this year will probably rank highly up there - but we have bought it in good faith, (and if they don't like it it means that we can have it)

The vibrating polyester footwarmer my sister got for my grandmother in 1993 will never beforgotten.

PMSL at WMMC.

I bought a football on a string for DH a couple of years ago.

I never buy shit presents. I spend ages shopping and thinking about what people might want.

Which is why it pisses me off when I get an ill-judged present that the giver has obviously not given a seconds thought to. Or just buys me the same thing every year. And I am talking about people who have all the time in the world.

This year my DH has bought his mum a 'Granny's cookbook'. She'll freak.

She's been cooking for like 40 years.....

I also gave my DSiL a book on etiquette

Bet you soooooo do, Fucker.

soap on a rope - people used to buy them for their dads in the 70s in case any of you are quite young. ditto Brut gift sets.

For mums - Avon "perfume" and talc combinations. Or (more upmarket) Charlie - first time round not the relaunch. For grannies, tweed perfume.

(my brother once bought me a torch ffs. however it is such a large and reliable torch, rechargeable with various sirens etc on it, tradesmen go all quiet and respectful if I offer the loan of a torch)

I overheard a woman in the queue in The Pier today saying "I want it to at least seem like I've given the present some thought"

TBH I've thrown in the towel with SIL - she gives me unwanted body lotion and weird kitchen stuff, and I've started reciprocating.

What not to wear for my mum

I'd really like A soap on a rope. It is a positively Proustian thing (with brushed nylon nighties that would go up in flames at the merest scent of a match and those blue coats with furry hoods that lads used to roll out to max. length.)

Ah - soap on a rope! Classic! And Tweed!

I once gave my dad a video case which held 10 videos, just after videos came out. Was so chuffed cos it cost £5. Also that year gave my sister (who was like 14) a colouring set cos it was £1. Bet she loved that!

torch with sirens sounds like my ds's idea of heaven.
Er..where was it from?

Well, the M & S cardigan that I chose for MIL a few years ago received a very lukewarm response - I now insist that DH chooses her gifts. In my defence she has been responsible for many a shite gift to me! I do love her really.

I did buy my parents many awful presents when I was a child, but I think that's par for the course. It's DD2s Christmas fair at school this week and I know she will spend piggy bank money on some truly dreadful tat for DH and I, but she gets so much pleasure from it that I will love whatever she gives me.

moondog as a child I had nylon nighties from Brentfords.

The torch was (I think) from Argos about 7 years ago. I was expecting perfume as he had asked me what I wanted and that is what I suggested.

The torch is a bit bigger than a brick, it is rechargeable, in fact it stays charged for months (if not used) when it is getting low it actually speaks and tells you. Would be hours of fun for the average ds (or dd for that matter) It can be rather alarming to hear a disembodied voice under the stairs requesting to be recharged. (especially in the night)

Sincere apologies to the op for spoiling the thread.

Every present we get MIL gets a lukewarm response - even handed back THEN AND THERE!!!! Once I gave her the tattiest shitest figurine I could find to say 'THERE! What about that then??"

AIBU???

My friend sold a small child (too young to know better) a truly horrific tea set at the Summer Fair. He only paid 50p for it. She boxed it up quick for him and told him his mother would be delighted.

Oh, just remembered I gave my Mum and Dad one of those foot spa things. Dad said "when have you ever seen me with my feet in a bowl of water?" Eh - actually most nights Dad. I think he was embarassed because Dh (boyfriend at the time) was there. Macho thing maybe.

'Twas a crap pressie though

fartmeister with people like your mil (mine is the same) I say loudly (before handing the present over) that the receipt is in the bag. Most people aren't rude enough to challenge you once you have basically told them to return it themselves if they don't like it.

I once gave dh's baby niece a beautiful book and sil was rather rude as she already had it. Like I was meant to know.

Dh and my father both like cycling (I know, I know...we are truly blessed in our family )

This has resulted in some dire presents, all at their request I hasten to add.

Tyres, crankshafts, chamois cream (don't even go there), chain rings, track pumps...god, I don't even know or care what half of it is.

My mum and I have given up trying to wrap it all up and get excited. I wonder what it is, I wonder what it is...!?

(Oh. What is it?)

Last year I won some prizes in a raffle. One of them was a 'lamp'. It was a perspex case with nasty blue silk flowers in which were fibre optic and tacky as hell!
I hated it at first sight.
Gave it to MIL as a christmas present.
She adores it.

Also decided to get her a watch, so chose a fake gold, OTT nasty shiny tat watch. She loves it also.

I gave my mil the most beautiful glass dessert dishes gift wrapped from John Lewis. She asked for them so it wasn't a bad choice. She was in a foul mood however when receiving them and barely acknowledged my efforts.

Might follow Goober's example this year!

onepieceoflollipop, you know where I am coming from!! I have totally given up tbh. AND she has the gall to get us TAT which we are always very polite about! Once, for me - a PVC black 'porn star' coat to which I said 'lovely, thanks'!!

For my DH, those slimy shiny shirts - silvery, you know?? She bought one for my DS recently which I quickly put away from sight.

BUT we are always polite. Once we got her a Cliff DVD (she is a big fan ) and she opened it and immediately gave it back. 'I've seen it'. It was from Amazon and difficult to take back