Right. We've covered shite presents we have received. From every conceivable angle. Now, lets move onto shite presents we have ^given^.

[moondog]

The gift set of Royal Jelly smellies from Boots to MIL was a definite low in my giving history it must be said. Found in original packaging in box room on her demise some 10 years later.

ROFL at cardigan-eating bath.

Dh often asks for really, really tedious practical presents that I know he wants but just Don't Count as presents. Tools and gadgets and stuff. I HAVE to buy him something else as well.

Have given my ex-stepmother the lavender pillow type of present. Thankfully don't have to bother these days, hurrah!

I remember BGD or UQD spent ages on here telling me howe to get it out with bent coathanger (there is a certain type of chap who does a lot with a bent coathanger I find) to no avail.

Love that about MIL talking of lavender making her 'physically sick'

A teatowel from my mum....

I used to have a friend who was notoriously mean. I realised just how tight she was after she gave me the following presents on consecutive Christmasses. 1. A packet of three cheap black tights... with one pair removed. To add insult to injury, she worked as a silver service waitress at the time and had earlier told me that she bought the black tights she needed for her uniform at a subsidised rate.

1. One of those cheap, vinyl makeup bags that they give away attached to women's magazines, containing about five free sample sachets.

Now, I know it's all about the giving not the receiving and that it shouldn't matter how much you spend, but I'd have honestly have prefered it if she hadn't bothered - or had made me a few biccies instead.

Our friends used to be dreadful at choosing presents for us. After telling us to make sure we did a wedding gift list because 'people get it so wrong otherwise', they were the only ones to buy OFF the gift list - and a particularly wierd udder-like light it was. However, nowadays, their present-buying has improved, and it is now us that give the shite presies (bright blue pashmina and coasters). What goes around comes around.....

Delia's 'One is Fun' for a divorced potential MIL. And I wondered why she didn't like me?!

My dp bought my mum a sudocu (SP?) toilet paper for xmas, she hasnt used it. Oh and for my brother he bought a coin sorter. When i say dp i mean WE bought.

I am sorry...I haven't read the thread...but I cannot see how I can possibly lose this contest.

I once bought my mother and soap on a rope.

It was a shaped soap on a rope.

It was long and and well...erm...shapely....

Now I feel

my dh when he was a lad bought his mum a bottle of almond essence-thought it was right posh!

On MIL birthday, some danish leaf tea (bought a year before, on holidays, and not being use, with a couple of months 2 be off), and a soap tray from sainsbury's (with 3 soaps, but nice ones)!!!
NOt that bad, if you consider being invitate the day before, and not even knowing where it was, until 2 hours before, your husband call a relative to find out!! on top of that, you are asked to pay for the food!!!
Plus receiving like a wedding present a couple of tacky wine glasses, painted with glittery pen by a child!!! and every christmas, birthdays, is like a slap in the face, but worse
all that after my husband spending an average of £5o per head for their family, and latest gift to mother 'til I decided ENOUGH, a leader design handbag £2oo pounds aroun(choose by my)
Tired of being mocked!!!

Moondog,do you mean snorkel coats? Thats what we used to call those navy nylon jackets with fur around the hood.Mine had a luminous orange lining.

I'm also old enough to remember Brentford Nylons.My sister and I had matching navy nylon quilted bedspreads from them,which my mum still probably has packed away somewhere.s long as you didn't set fire to them,they were indestructible.

BIL is notorious for shite presents so yesterday DH has bought him.....................................some onion goggles!!!! Brotherly love eh?

Last christmas (a dooby doo ah) my very own mother bought me some tights. I was 6 months pregnant at the time. Instead of useful maternity tights, or luxury post birth tights, she opted for size 22 Aldi tights which she thought would be good 'as I got bigger'. Fast forward 6 months - she's helping me put the bags in the car for a frantic post-delivery clear out charity shop run - and there are the tights..... There was no way out.

When we were teenagers, my brothers and I chipped in a couple of quid together and bought my parents a silver plated tray (in one of those cardboard boxes). It was for their wedding anniversary from the local co-op.

But that was eclipsed by the time we bought poor BIL a voice changing megaphone for his birthday (he was over 25 at the time). I have no idea why.

Actually once when we were really skint I persuaded dh to give his mum a hatbox that he had painted with old poster paints and stamped silver hats on in potato prints.

She still has it to this day - must be sentimental reasons.

edam - why dont tools etc count as presents??

OMG. Just remembered one year that I went mad in the gadget shop, and bought lots of little gadgets for dh. I only realised how stupid it was when he opened 'world's smallest radio'.

I think it only cost a couple of quid.

I gave my dad a horrid fake bronze cannon from a primary school journey to a farm when I was 9 (which he gallantly put in his study, bless him).

But since then I have never given a duff present .

Oh God I cringe at this now but I got dp's parents a lamp for their pearl wedding anniversary when I was 19. My thinking was that I couldn't afford pearls so a creamy coloured lamp with a pearl light bulb would have to do!

dh was given a gift proudly bearing the title 'the best gift in the world...ever!'.

it was a video of RTA's from police camera action type programmes.

Promptly re-wrapped and passed onto my BIL.

niiiiiiice.

Accidentally got mil choccy first year together- well i'd only known dh 2 weeks how was I to know she had ocd and anorexia?

Please can i have a link to the poo book to buy for my dh too....

I have just asked dh what was the crappest thing i ever bought him,,, he listed 3 which has now made me a bit

baby carrier (metal framed rucksack type) last yr
a sit up bench (he returned that on boxing day the yr b4 last)
A fishing game he could sit and pretend he was fishing - whoich actually to this day i thought was fab as he doesnt get out fishing as much since little people.... Clearly these were items i put alot of thought into so this year i wont.

When I was about 11 I gave my parents a brass fireplace matches holder thingy.
We had no fireplace

Once I gave DH a bicycle repair kit. We were skint, I did not drive,DS was very tiny, and we lived in a very small town.
He doesn't really cycle that much, but the kit has proved to be useful (nearly 10 years later...) on bike rides with the kids

OH!!! I Once got my sister a second hand wooden bread box, and I sprayed some sort of paint effect on it - it was pink. And actually quite ugly. Bless her, she had it in her house for quite awhile

My Nan always went on about the year Grandpa bought her a hoover; his retaliation was she'd bought him a bible . My worst gift were lumpy home-made cushions in delightful shades of brown - I think I win!

DH always empties his trouser pockets on the bedside table at night. So, rather cleverly I thought, ordered him a leather 'gentleman's leather night tray' complete with his initials. He was dead chuffed with the present, filled it with crap important stuff (like currency from countries we will never visit again, broken watches, odd cufflinks - you get the idea) which is now covered with a thick layer of dust, and he still empties his pockets onto the table!

When i was about 10 I bought my Mum and Dad a book about well dressing in Tissington (Derbyshire). We lived nowhere near Tissington, nor had we ever been there. It was the only book for sale in our local newsagents and was absolutely covered in dust. Is there a message there?

The brilliance continues!!
Bravo ladies
(Yes furious, exactly sort of coat I mean)