Right. We've covered shite presents we have received. From every conceivable angle. Now, lets move onto shite presents we have ^given^.

[moondog]

The gift set of Royal Jelly smellies from Boots to MIL was a definite low in my giving history it must be said. Found in original packaging in box room on her demise some 10 years later.

Guitar leads!

It was what dh wanted, but it looked soooooo boring that I was quite embarrassed to give them.

And moondog, I also remember the nylon nighties from Brentfords! I remember putting my head under the covers and watching the light show of sparkles from the static electricity!

DB and SIL had three kids under 5, absolutely no money and were being shunted from damp flat to damp flat while they tried to get themselves sorted... so I gave them an exquisite Japanese, hand painted, laquered chopstick and rest set in a bamboo and rush presentation box, because I thought it would be nice for them to have something beautiful in their lives . I still cringe to think of it. I was only 15.

I Also found out years later that neither of them can use chopsticks.

Actually this year I've managed to shame my DSiL and MiL by pretending to be desperately upset because 'I work so hard to pick out presents for people I care about' (i.e people apart from them) '.....and always feel they hate whatever I buy them because they are so obsessed with labels and social climbing discerning.' So I bluntly said: 'right you have £X, what do you want.' Unbelievably they came back with a list within an hour by email with URLS and asked 'does the budget include P&P?'

Am very tempted to get them both pile cream because it has to be painful being so up oneself!

BroccoliS they may well have appreciated the kind thought (but at the time wished it had been a bottle of wine. )

Girlandboy - don't feel bad - DH asked for (and received) heat shrink, a solder iron and a new capo last year!

When I was about six or seven, I was allowed to do some Christmas shopping by myself. For my mum, I chose a pink plastic ballerina (I think it was meant to be a cake decoration or something). I remember choosing it because I thought it was lovely and would have loved it myself. Mum, bless her, declared that she loved it. If I remember rightly, that year Dad got a desk tidy made out of toilet roll tubes (as seen on Blue Peter). My gift-giving has improved with age!

ROFL at 'does the budget include P&P'!!!

wmmc - buy mil some new batteries for her pillbox - not your fault if they are faulty

Buy your sil the same book on etiquette - clearly she didn't read it first time round!

onepieceoflollipop - do you know she actually gave the book to her friend the next year?! I know because I saw it on her bookshelf and asked her where she'd found it and she told me. SiL doesn't know I know. I'm desperately looking for a book with a title like 'what not to wear when you are a dried up bitter husk who needs a kick up the arse'

Your ils and mine sound like they would get on spendidly wmmc. Was it you (before you had your ds) who had a thread asking for tips on how not to give birth until your mil had safely left your house? (and you weren't joking!) - sorry if that wasn't you.

Moondog, unfortunately my Mum loved Brentfords (it was called Brentford Nylons in my day).

I had a brown and cream nylon layered nightie which together with the orange fitted nylon sheet and red and white floral nylon duvet cover produced a spectacular static light show. I did have a nylon valance as well, but that didn't really add to the light show - only to the horror which was my bedroom.

Ah yes chopchop but in the days when no one had tumble dryers your mum could practically take it out of the wash and straight back on to the bed.

Ah, all those nylon bed accessories.
My sister (same one) once gave my elderly grandparents some rustic Moorish hand glazed and crackled (or whatever you say) tiles.

They were lovely but what would a no nonsense ex miner and his good lady wife want with stuff like that? You will understand the kind of people they were (RIP) if i tell you they had a nallotment with a shed, and a bathroom cabinet with an ancient teeny tiny bottle of oilve oil in it for medicinal purposes.

Hand glazed tiles indeed!!!

When I first got together with dh MANY moons ago, I discovered his Mum was into history.

I bought her an enormous edition of 'The County Maps of Olde England'. Dh said 'oh, do you think my Mum will like that? (he's so polite)

Bless her, she was kind enough to spend a bit of Christmas Day pretending to be interested. I had foolishly misinterpreted historial interest for a liking for ancient cartography.

What was I thinking??????

'into history'

That's a preeeeeety broad statement eh???

It was me lollipop - managed it too!

My gran bought me (when I was 14) a yellow nylon, bobbled baby doll nightdress and two pairs of american tan tights!

I had just married DH when the question of xmas present for MIL came up..so i asked him. His response someting like 'she loves pampering bathy type things, and she loves lavender' so obviously I took the hint and bought an expensive, beautiful bath set with real lavender etc.

THIS year (nearly 6 years later)I overhear her talking to a friend at the church bazaar about how lavender makes her physically sick.

She must have thought I was trying to wind her up! Poor woman.

A battery operated machine which turned your bath into a jacuzzi . We fell for the blurb, don't think MIL did.

Talking of "shite" presents my father has specially requested a book called "The Big Neccessity-adventures in Human Waste" for his present this year, yes, that's right, a book about poo. DH has asked me to request that he does not read extracts at the xmas dinner table (he probably would given half a chance).

A golfing jumper with a hole (very very small) from a charity shop for sFIL - dh chose it. They despise each other and he doesn't really speak to either of us; I wouldn't have given him anything, but felt quite gleeful about this as it was dh's choice.

my dh bought me for our first christmas together (he was dp then) a singing chief (from southpark) i didnt even watch it and i think he saw my upset as the presents since have been fab

DH was very unimpressed with the CD rack I bought him for our first xmas together.

He still goes on about it, 12 years later.

alltjyd - lol, I've bought that book for somebody who hasn't requested it!

that book sounds really interesting actually.
Honest.

Snort at jacuzzi thing.
We had a bath in Turkey (when we lived there) which did the same.God it was so noisy and stressful.Bloody dangerous too.Was washing baby clothes in it once and it ate a cardigan. Never saw it again.