What would be the ^worst^ and most unsuitable Christmas present you could possibly receive?

[moondog]

For moi I think gift set of cheap oil 'infused' with some grass herbs along with some dried out spices and a crap mortar and pestle.

From MIL last year I got a calandar with pictures of kittens in 'hilarious' poses. DH suffers the most though as my dad always buys him things you might buy for a 12 year old boy - football annuals, minature snooker tables, a game where you shoot each other with laser guns. DH isn't the game playing type.

I'm scheduled to received my 5th acrylic, brown or goose-pooh coloured shawl from my mother.

"Made in China" revoltingly chemical "lavender" fragrance set - straight to charity bag...presumably inspired by a peek in my bathroom cupboard which is more along the lines of fragrance free organic pharmacy or neals yard...........GGGRRRRRRRR! better still SIL giving me a present for babs and telling me she was regifting it cos she didnt like it........how it is possible that DH who is generous to a fault and comes up with some pretty amazing prezzies ....could be born of the same family? at least they live across the ocean....separated by sea as well as time difference. meOW!! this year i am not even going to open prezzies, they shall go unwrapped into charity bag.

I swear I will never EVER roll my eyes at a Cadbury's selection box* again, you've all suffered so much more than me. Honestly, if it wasn't the selection box, it'd be books (cos I like books, yes, but MiL's idea of appropriate books?) or something PINK (two DSs, MiL has a lot of PINK saved up).

MY parents buy strange but strangely good things, like toolboxes and herb gardens.

• but still, I'm 36, really, a selection box?

Mine would be a Mamma Mia DVD or anything of a similar ilk.

DP said novelty tie for him would be the worst thing ever!

I recieved an ironing board one christmas!!!
I was gobsmacked ( their lucky they weren't)

When I was younger someone bought me a set of kitchen scales and I was sooooooo pissed off! I mean, why would you???

Now I'm old and decrepit I'm still using them!!

Oh dear I should be in bed but KatieScarlett's candle snuffer and possibly running out of breath has made me actually hiccup with laughter. V v good!!

MiL buys me the worst presents of all - ironically they are usually even worse if Dp has helped her -
i have had a glass worktop protector/chopping board - a vile earhenware snowman shaped candle holder "thing" - a sugar babes cd - several horrid bulb/plants -
just general shite - in fact i'd rather she didn't bother.
the presents she get Dp are just as bad!

oh and my grandad gave us a box of truely disgusting glace fruits that he won in a raffle - yuck!!

oh dear how very ungrateful!

an address book
tissue box holder
chocolates that make you fat fat fat
gonnorhea

An inflatable path pillow with a radio attached. Like the one the in-laws bought me last year. Or an amarillis - like the one they bought me the year before.

really disheartened to see the amount of ungrateful people - i get THE 'wtf' reaction if no effort has been made, but when you write about the effort they made,...and i wish they didn't bother, i think its v. sad.

You're right custardo. My husband was shagging that Thai ladyboy for years before he gave me VD. And you can't say that isn't hard work.

How unfortunate.

Hi Lovecat - if you're still wanting rid of the Owl paperweight, I'll happily take it off your hands. My mother loves WM and owls so it would be a great combo. She is nearly 70, mind, LOL!

My worst was from my Great Aunt some years ago before DH and I were married. She bought me one of those knicker-dryer things that you hang in the shower. And the weird thing was that she said - before she gave it to me - that she was very embarrassed as she didn;t know what had possessed her to buy it!!!! So I'm left with a knicker-dryer-hanging thingy, trying to say nice things to make her feel better (while thinking you demented old bat, I've just bought you Chanel), and wondering why on earth she didn;t just take it back to the shop for a refund if she'd had second thoughts. I mean, if you know a gift is crap before you give it why on earth bother?

I really dislike the custom of Secret Santa present giving at work because it is anonimous, the presents given out at random and it encourages cruelty: last year I got a bag of sprouts [hmn]

The most useless thing I ever received was a long wooden, boat shaped object with diagonal slits in it. It came with a cheap knife. A baguette cutter in other words. Okaaay.

Thanks for that Idris.
Now I really see her true colours.

I asked my sister for a mortar and pestle one year and she bought me one from Wilkos which appeared to be made out of balsa wood. I have never seen anything less fit for purpose. It came with a balsa wood rolling pin and meat tenderiser hammer too

Whisky filled chocolates and a large tub of pate de fois gras.

Good Lord, where do I start to choose from the vast selection of horrors that my MIL has bought for me. I think the absolute winner has to be the nylon headscarf with a large picture of an elephant on, that matched the equally attractive nylon elephant tie she had bought for my DH. I truly don't know where you even buy these things.

Frankly TKB that is such a bad gift it has surely come out the other side and become a cult object???

lmao at elephant combuo
Ventured out to shops today (deosn't happen often-I do it all online) Yegads! Full of bovine idiots buying crap, crap and more crap.