What would be the ^worst^ and most unsuitable Christmas present you could possibly receive?

[moondog]

For moi I think gift set of cheap oil 'infused' with some grass herbs along with some dried out spices and a crap mortar and pestle.

Oh SpookyMadMummy you've made me laugh!

Moondog we are sure it was a collect items thing from Iceland! Kerry Katona has alot to answer for

Candles in a house where there are 2 asd kids. Unless accompanied by fire extinguisher I guess.

wine or champagne. I don't drink either anyway plus I'm pregnant now. Didn't stop grandmil last time who bought us chocs and wine and of course dh wins as he wants his share of choc as well.

Why is that Kath?

Naf clothes from shops I'd never be never be seen dead in.

Ornaments....of any description. I don't do them and my mum should know better. She bought me the cheap and nasty cardigan too. I really would be happier with nothing.

Not sure to be honest - it's still sitting unopened in the basement - she bought everyone a bottle.
To be fair I think she thought I like wine and chocs and never thought about combined taste.
Maybe if I am feeling brave I will open it later and give it a try.

Moondog - carefully chosen Elemis/Molton Brown sets, good wine, CD's she has asked for, flowers. Anything we can think of that might be really nice as she will never give us a clue, and we don't see them that much

er, because they are sugar pills.... and if you just bought a kit you would not even get the placebo effect/possibility of getting some helpful advice that you would get at a consultation.

Kath???

Cmot, sounds nice.
I don't think anyone could go wrong with posh delivered flowers.

This year, a box of my favourite chocolates, because ds is milk intolerant and breastfed, so I wouldn't be able to eat them.

Generally any toiletry type stuff, because I'm allergic to perfumes/colourings.

Any item of clothing that is white.

ILs buy me white clothes every year (hat & gloves, cardies etc.). They have never seen me in white. White does not suit me. Not only am i very pale i am a size 16.

I have a dog.

And two young boys.

I live in the country near muddy fields.

Need i go on?

flowers..

no farker ever sends me flowers.....

Anything that requires time away from the children to use it...I do not have this luxury!

I have asked for socks as i only need socks.

DP (sort of) asked me what I would like

I just went 'Blimey' and looked at the floor and blushed.

He is going to be on some caribbean beach anyway so does not apply.

All of these very funny

Got a pepper grinder from an exboyf once How romantic.

My grandfather gave me a bottle of Tramp "perfume" [sic] when I was about 9. I actually thought it was really glamorous at the time.

nail polish, my DH also bought me an electric blanket one year. He thought it was a great present as well...and I couldn't hide the fact that i thought it was crap and he was so upset!! Poor thing...he's normally so good at pressies too!

Perkin - I would much rather send you flowers than ungrateful SIL (we bought her a lovely spa day for her 40th - when asked if she had enjoyed it, she complained that she hadn't had anyone to enjoy it with). Dh threatened last year that we would stop buying presents for any of his family and spend on the MN Christmas Appeal instead.

I love Chanel No5! Lucky you!

My exMIL once bought these clear tree baubles, you opened them and there were knickers inside, they were from Knickerbox or somewhere. She got them for her and her 2 daughters. Said to me,

"I would have got one for you, but the large fitted me."

So my worst present would be to get her back.

CD of Jonathan and Darlene Edwards' Greatest Hits from my then DH - Very funny ha ha, but then I looked for my REAL pressie from him - and found that that was it. One stupid CD. Maybe that's when our marriage started to die..

Oh and he reduced DD to tears when she was 4 by giving her the Beatles White Album when what she wanted was the Spice Girls!

Chanel 5 smells like cats pee on me - or maybe it's that the exbf who bought it for me probably got it from a market stall...?

One year my dad gave me a poncho thing that made me look like Clint Eastwood.

Seems a theme going here - the men in my life give lousy gifts.

lol at Marmite! She must have tried them on first then

Fattipuffs - was it a very LARGE pepper grinder?

My SIL gave me for my birthday yesterday....

A decorative scent holder