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Original poster

Father in law never joins Christmas walks

384 replies

comoatoupeira · 25/12/2025 19:30

Just that really. He never goes outside even with the stunning weather we’ve been having. I can see it annoys my MIL but she doesn’t say anything directly. The kids are confused, ‘why doesn’t grandpa come too?’ And I don’t know what to say. MIL just says he’s staying to do the potatoes or something, but he’s not.
He’s fit and no health issues.
Thinking I should get my 7 year old to be direct with him about it?

OP posts:
andfinallyhereweare · 27/12/2025 05:55

I love a family walk- I wouldn’t be so keen on the playing and log jumping though- is that what’s putting him off? Adults generally don’t enjoy playing like children do…

UnintentionalArcher · 27/12/2025 06:26

ShawnaMacallister · 25/12/2025 19:37

Well tell them it's not weird then: the world doesn't revolve around them!

Yes, children do need to learn that not everything is about them or a reflection in them. It’s actually healthy for children to understand this early on. If it’s upsetting them, reframe it for them from ‘Grandad doesn’t want to spend time with us on a walk’ to ‘Grandad doesn’t feel like walking today but hopes we have a good time, and we hope he has a nice rest!’

Ohpleeeease · 27/12/2025 06:27

It may be the excuse he needs to get a break from the DC. Are they as energetic as they sound?

whatdoyourdoggoswant · 27/12/2025 06:34

CalzoneOnLegs · 25/12/2025 19:54

Where on earth is this ‘stunning’ weather OP ?

We’ve had lovely weather in SW Yorkshire, yesterday was particularly sunny, crisp and beautiful.

Astra53 · 27/12/2025 07:23

I would also opt to stay home just to give my head a rest from the social overload. Other people's family's can be exhausting, especially small children at Christmas. He probably just looks forward to a quiet hour alone to decompress.

AberEchtJetzt · 27/12/2025 07:38

sanityisamyth · 26/12/2025 22:24

Not as nuts as posting the same post four times …

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I find it amusing you think I intentionally did that

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 27/12/2025 07:48

He probably just wants a break from the kids.

mrsjg · 27/12/2025 08:37

Lemonyyy · 25/12/2025 21:37

I’m assuming this is a problem really because you don’t want your children to start saying they don’t want to come either.

I also assume your FIL probably loves that peaceful hour on his own!

Late to the thread but this ⬆️💯

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 27/12/2025 08:58

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 27/12/2025 00:42

Of course not, but a civilised thing to do. If you can't be bothered to help entertain family children, that's absolutely fine. Worth keeping in mind when they need help walking, or a nappy change at an old age. (selfish family members don't get favours when old and frail)

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The classic transactional relationship, just because someone doesn't want to go for a walk!! 😅

Mumsnet sometimes 😹.

ThatBlackCat · 27/12/2025 09:14

I don't blame him! Like hell would I go for a walk on Christmas day when I'd rather stay inside and have a few or several drinks. I'm not in the UK and don't understand the UK's obsession with going for walks on Christmas day. What is with that? I don't like going for walks at the best of times, I sure as shit am not going on one on Christmas day. Stuff that.

Quincette · 27/12/2025 09:17

Maybe the poor bloke wants a break from you, OP.

MrsJeanLuc · 27/12/2025 09:22

Ponderingwindow · 27/12/2025 05:30

If someone burns in minutes even at low uv, the sun on their face doesn’t make them feel good.

neither does fresh air filled with pollen, which is there even in winter for people with bad allergies.

there is no scientific evidence that going outside makes everyone feel better. Some of us have to hide indoors with our whole home air filters and slather on the spf to walk outside for a few minutes.

if you are going to make grand statements, make them accurate.

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Erm ... just Google it:

Scientific evidence overwhelmingly confirms that spending time outdoors improves mental and physical well-being across most populations. The effects are measurable, including reduced stress hormones, lower blood pressure, and improved mood and cognitive function

And anyone who has a problem with uv in the UK in December is in serious difficulty. It's a very good idea to get some sun on your face in the winter (every day if you can) - apart from the mental health benefits it aids absorption of vit D which protects bone density, etc.

Baital · 27/12/2025 09:25

MrsJeanLuc · 27/12/2025 09:22

Erm ... just Google it:

Scientific evidence overwhelmingly confirms that spending time outdoors improves mental and physical well-being across most populations. The effects are measurable, including reduced stress hormones, lower blood pressure, and improved mood and cognitive function

And anyone who has a problem with uv in the UK in December is in serious difficulty. It's a very good idea to get some sun on your face in the winter (every day if you can) - apart from the mental health benefits it aids absorption of vit D which protects bone density, etc.

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And FIL is entitled to make his own health decisions for himself. And maybe he needed time alone more than outdoor time at that moment.

Davros · 27/12/2025 09:30

I went for a walk on Christmas Day. To the pub and back. Pint of Guinness thanks. I bet you also think that anyone who gets up after 8am (never mind wakes up then!) is a lazy sod and people who watch more than one hour of telly a day are zombies. I’m fucked

MrsJeanLuc · 27/12/2025 09:59

Baital · 27/12/2025 09:25

And FIL is entitled to make his own health decisions for himself. And maybe he needed time alone more than outdoor time at that moment.

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Of course he is👍.

It was the ridiculous
if you are going to make grand statements, make them accurate.
sentence following a load of twaddle that got me going 😁

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/12/2025 10:29

Maybe he just wants a bit of P and Q!

Some MNers do seem to be so controlling!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/12/2025 10:30

Quincette · 27/12/2025 09:17

Maybe the poor bloke wants a break from you, OP.

Exactly!

OhGraciousMe · 27/12/2025 10:44

JFDIYOLO · 26/12/2025 00:52

He said no because he didn't want to!

Maybe he just wants some quiet. To watch something nobody else wants to watch. Or have a zizz. Or a quiet poo is very likely.

Leave the poor bloke in peace and stop being controlling.

And don't make a flying monkey out of your own child.

Edited

Oh dear, I think you might be right on target! I can't go to the bathroom with people around and would be grateful for everyone going on a walk so I could go!

ImogenBrocklehurst · 27/12/2025 12:56

FFS. Maybe he wants half an hour’s peace? Why do you care?

LouiseK93 · 27/12/2025 15:08

Your getting your 7 year old to confront him rather than do it yourself? 😂

LowkeyLoco · 27/12/2025 15:13

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 27/12/2025 08:58

The classic transactional relationship, just because someone doesn't want to go for a walk!! 😅

Mumsnet sometimes 😹.

Edited
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It’s crazy isn’t it? I can just imagine the conversation: “yeah we left grandad to die in filth because he didn’t go for a walk on Christmas Day”. People have lost their minds on this forum.

converseandjeans · 27/12/2025 15:29

@comoatoupeira he probably just wants some quiet time to read & nap. I don’t know why it would bother you tbh. Just let him do what he wants.

Ewg9 · 27/12/2025 16:04

I get where you are coming from OP, you are setting the children a good example by encouraging all to go and keeping a nice tradition. My hubby coerced his mum out with us and she managed 5 minutes up the road and back. She's 64, you'd think more like 84...She's overweight and unfit and it really shows. I suppose bottom line, it's your FIL's choice.

WarrenTofficier · 27/12/2025 16:29

Caricature · 26/12/2025 21:59

Still haven't finished the thread, but I just knew the Great Christmas Walk would be like family play time, running about, jumping over logs and so on.

I grew up in the kind of family that has forced marches Family Walks every weekend. Our 25th December walk was what church is to the faithful: essential, determined and reverential. When some of the children were little, a modicum of log-related playtime was unavoidable but Dad and the older brothers would ignore it. Striding ever forward, they'd leave Mum and an older girl (me) to manage the toddlers' fascination with all things muddy, being very annoyed when we reached the destination 40 minutes later than scheduled.

Some people - especially fit men who walk for exercise - cannot bear the debasement of A Walk to mere Playtime! The man was wise to avoid the potential tensions inherent in striding miles ahead, trailing the almost visible vapours of irritation at the pointless waste of time and opportunity.

I mean, I may have read the FIL wrong, but you can tell it hit a nerve 😂🚶

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Or possibly FiL could be an introvert, who desperately wants/needs a little bit of peace and quite away from a house full because he has been over stimulated by being around other people constantly?

SirChenjins · 27/12/2025 16:40

Ewg9 · 27/12/2025 16:04

I get where you are coming from OP, you are setting the children a good example by encouraging all to go and keeping a nice tradition. My hubby coerced his mum out with us and she managed 5 minutes up the road and back. She's 64, you'd think more like 84...She's overweight and unfit and it really shows. I suppose bottom line, it's your FIL's choice.

The FIL is fit, outdoorsy and has no health issues - so nothing like your MIL. He just doesn't want to go for a walk, especially one that involves playing and jumping over logs, and his exercising his right to say no thanks.