Father in law never joins Christmas walks

[comoatoupeira]

Just that really. He never goes outside even with the stunning weather we’ve been having. I can see it annoys my MIL but she doesn’t say anything directly. The kids are confused, ‘why doesn’t grandpa come too?’ And I don’t know what to say. MIL just says he’s staying to do the potatoes or something, but he’s not.
He’s fit and no health issues.
Thinking I should get my 7 year old to be direct with him about it?

WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER?

So what?

Surely you just say he wants to stay home? Why does he have to go on a walk just because everyone else is?

I’m fit. I’m healthy. I despise walking for the sake of it.

Maybe he just doesn’t want to? Perhaps it not something he enjoys. Tbh I don’t want to go for a walk on Christmas Day either. I walk bloody loads every other day, Christmas Day I ain’t going anywhere.

The kids are confused, ‘why doesn’t grandpa come too?’ And I don’t know what to say.

Do you struggle to answer extremely simple questions the rest of the year or is it a Christmas affliction?!

The answer is 'because he doesn't want to'.

And lo the mystery was solved.

Why is this an issue for you?
Genuine ask. I can't see what impact this actually has on you.

leave the poor man alone

family days can be incredibly overwhelming for a variety of reasons -he clearly just needs some down time

It’s Christmas Day, what’s the harm in him pleasing himself, provided he’s not being grumpy about you all going? If he doesn’t want to go on a hearty family walk, surely that’s his decision?!

Leave the man alone. He doesn't want to go on a walk.

And don't train your seven year old to do your dirty work. Ask him directly yourself if you really feel the need.

I’m thinking the same. Who cares!

He just doesn’t want to. How is that hard to explain to the children? Are you staying at theirs for Christmas? Maybe he wants an hour to himself?

You think you should get your 7 year old to be direct with him?

He's an adult...he doesn't answer to a 7 year old?

‘Thinking I should get my 7 year old to be direct with him about it’. Are you actually serious?

He doesn’t want to walk and he is an adult free to make his own decisions. He doesn’t need an interrogation about his reasons from a child.

Ok you replace light bulb poster as the daftest Mumsnet Christmas whinge

How do you not know what to say? What is there to say other than 'grandad doesn't want to come for a walk'?!

because if I say he doesn’t want to, it sounds like he doesn’t want to play with them. The walk is like family play time, running about, jumping over logs and so on. It’s family time and it’s really glaring that he’s not there.
they think it’s weird and they’re small kids. I haven’t put the idea in their heads.

Thinking I should get my 7 year old to be direct with him about it?

If the Child is asking out of his own curiosity, then fine, but to engineer him asking, is quite sneaky, imo.

Well tell them it's not weird then: the world doesn't revolve around them!

Ok that sounds even worse than just a walk. Team FIL.

We are very outdoorsy and I and MiL find it really strange that someone can stay inside all day, especially with all the food we’re eating and the sitting around at the table for hours

Tell your 7yo that FIL, like all the other adults, is doing as he chooses, and that it would be really poor manners to comment on it?

Are you one of those people who attaches a moral dimension to “going for a walk” especially in connection with a big meal? If so, maybe knock it off. It’s annoying.

Why should he? Why do you and your child give a shit? Maybe you should teach your 7yr old that adults get to choose what they spend their free time on?

FFS! He probably wants to avoid you and your weird presumptions of how he should spend his time.

@comoatoupeira "stunning" weather?

I'm wondering where you are

If you're in the same part of England as me, then stunningly cold, yes. (and not forecast to be this cold, doubly annoying)

But regardless, he has the right to stay indoors if he wants to. What a strange post.

Also, if you all go outside for a walk, he gets some peace and quiet.

Point taken