Father in law never joins Christmas walks

[comoatoupeira]

Just that really. He never goes outside even with the stunning weather we’ve been having. I can see it annoys my MIL but she doesn’t say anything directly. The kids are confused, ‘why doesn’t grandpa come too?’ And I don’t know what to say. MIL just says he’s staying to do the potatoes or something, but he’s not.
He’s fit and no health issues.
Thinking I should get my 7 year old to be direct with him about it?

I can’t think of anything worse than walking in a procession. Not everyone has the same likes. Why doesn’t grandpa come? Because he doesn’t want to.

The man is having his Christmas poo. Leave him to it.

He’s probably sick of the kids. Not in a bad way but I just find our grandparents get very worn out very quickly.

Regardless it doesn’t really matter.

He doesn't want to.
The end.
Why is it an issue?

Ok, I'll be the blunt one here.
He may have things that you are not privy to.
A dodgy bladder, a surprising colon.
His hips might hurt so much after your kind of walk and jumping over logs that he's in tears for days afterwards.
Please just let people be without a fuss when they decline something.

Where on earth is this ‘stunning’ weather OP ?

The guy wants a bit of peace. Young child are relentless and totally exhausting if its not your norm. Let the man enjoy a moment to himself on a long day. It's not something that needs an explanation or is weird.

I think the OP gets it, move on folks.

God, this. Leave the poor man be.

You are coming across as the family bully.

He probably wants to escape from all the jollity.

Shit, some of my family are doing the mental Boxing Day nippy dip at Aberdeen…. Are they being as sneery as op because I don’t want to join in?!🤨

You say 'jumping over logs' as if that's something a normal person wouldn't be able to pass on. I hear phrases like that and I'm instantly looking for ways I can get out of it. Respect to your FIL for coming straight out and saying he doesn't want to.

Give the guy a break. It’s family time for you because you have decided and it’s what you want to do - he doesn’t but that doesn’t make it wrong. It isn’t weird. What is weird is your attitude to it.

Yes and?

It's ok for him not to play with them.

This probably the issue. He has to deal with kids who want constant attention and he just wants a break from it.

Your kids demanding attention constantly and you not noticing how he finds it too much.

I prefer to walk alone, don't mind saying hello to dogs or good morning/evening at passers by but everyone wants to bloody yap yap yap on family walks whilst I'm trying to assess what tree is the best tree on this particular route.

We are very outdoorsy and I and MiL find it really strange that someone can stay inside all day,

Honestly - it’s probably as simple as he’s not at all outdoorsy and can’t understand why you feel the need to go traipsing around outside in the middle of winter. Horses for courses and all that. I’d just leave him to it. Ask politely if he’d like to come and leave it alone if his answer is that he doesn’t!

"Grandad just needs a bit of quiet time."

To be blunt you sound very domineering because you enjoy it you think anybody else who doesn’t is wrong
please don’t enlist your child to get involved and pressure him into going

at a wild guess he wants an hour away from you

Grandads probably muttering 'yes off you fuck to jump those logs' under his breath whilst eyeing up the posh box of chocs and the TV remote

Absolutely weird thing to care about. Tell your kids FIL just doesn't fancy it, and if they make a fuss about that tell them to stop being rude.

This. I can't believe all the posters being so calm about this tragedy.

I could be your FIL. I loathe ‘going for a walk’ - always have, always will. If my guests want to go for a walk, fine. I don’t see that I have to go too. I’m more than happy to read, potter around or snooze. My choice.
The enforced jollity sounds awful, no wonder he doesn’t want to come. Leave the poor man alone.

My father is dying of cancer, has weeks left to live and was blue-lighted into hospital earlier this week with internal bleeding. His last Christmas... in a hospital ward.

This is one to let go, OP.

I have learned the hard way that we are all closer to death than we realise. You are a complete fool if you give any headspace whatsoever to this.

People extremely worked up by this. Christmas joy in abundance I see. Give it a rest