Father in law never joins Christmas walks

[comoatoupeira]

Just that really. He never goes outside even with the stunning weather we’ve been having. I can see it annoys my MIL but she doesn’t say anything directly. The kids are confused, ‘why doesn’t grandpa come too?’ And I don’t know what to say. MIL just says he’s staying to do the potatoes or something, but he’s not.
He’s fit and no health issues.
Thinking I should get my 7 year old to be direct with him about it?

my god leave the man alone!

He does not want too! thats enough. The world does not revolve around your children, your father in law has every right to do what he wants - just as your kids are!

Team FIL here. Let the poor man sit on the sofa for an hour of peace while the rest of you jump logs and revel in your superiority.

I love a walk but generally can’t be arsed on Christmas Day. We were out with the kids playing with their new toys and it was bloody freezing near me. We didn’t last that long due to the wind chill so wouldn’t have fancied a longer walk.

It doesn't hurt kids to learn that an adult can love them very much and still not want to run around with them and jump over logs with them. People are entitled to like what they like, and children can learn not to take it personally.

Golly, this type of micromanaging people’s day is why I do Christmas very low key! Poor chap isn’t a walker, so what!

I hate group walks myself, going at the slowest person’s pace drives me nuts, I like to walk fast and I’d rather go alone or not at all! Everyone should be free to do as they choose at Christmas.

Aw I love a walk, I walk for the sake of it, but I can’t think of anything worse than going out with hyper, energetic grandkids (I have five ranging from 7 to 5 months) on Christmas Day after a nice dinner.

fk that 🤣

poor bloke probably just wants some peace.

It’s absolutely none of your business. If he does not want to walk that’s his choice. Maybe he needs a break. And That’s fine , it’s really not hard🙄

Omg you’re one of those. The forced family march. No concern with how other people feel about the activity.

Maybe you could alternate and sometimes choose a family activity that FIL would enjoy. Maybe he would like board games or puzzles. Maybe he would enjoy charades.

😂😂😂

Unless MIL has a particular narrative, I would let them get on with it. Last year we attempted to let our v elderly DDog keep up with a walk in the park with our DNph 6 . DDog couldn't keep up and we waved them to meet us back at the house. Ddog passed due to old age a few weeks later which wasn't unexpected to the adults involved. The best you can really do is really prepare DC to the best of medical knowledge available to you

I know I was like Jesus don’t blame him 😆

I despise walking for the sake of it

Me too. I'd much rather everyone else buggered off for a walk and left me at home with a nice cup of tea in the peace and quiet for a bit. Bliss.

Poor bugger probably needs an hour or so away from you and kids...don't blame him.

I absolutely hate being told what to do. If I feel like joining a walk, I will. If I feel like joining in with board/card games on Christmas Day, I will. Otherwise, I will do what the hell I want. If that means spending a little time on my own having some space and some quiet time, then I will. Everyone has the right to choose how to spend their time and it doesnt mean that they are miserable or not family orientated.

Can't imagine owt worse on Christmas day than going on a Baltic walk 😬

Team FIL here.

I fucking hate going for walks. HATE IT. I love walking somewhere with a purpose but randomly wandering around, I cannot stand. Leave the man in peace.

Ah you see for me this is the difference between being a teenager and an adult.
You do what you want the rest of the year, Christmas is for joining in.

i accept the walk thing though, and the context with kids around meaning people need a break.

Let him be

YABVU to try to make someone do something they don’t want to for no particular reason. Live and let live and allow people to please themselves. Just tell the kids Grandpa prefers to stay home for a bit of peace and quiet. It would get on most people’s nerves if they felt bamboozled into doing something they don’t really fancy doing.

He clearly can’t be arsed. And what’s wrong with that? Why are you bothered? He probably wants a bit of peace and to put his feet up. Don’t blame him.

If there is one post on MN that signifies the bullshit of Christmas time being 'family time' its this. Running around and jumping over logs. FFS. Go and do that on your own if you want to and then head straight for the psychiatric ward but don't force your fake jollly family time on others.

If someone made me go for a walk on Christmas Day I would be telling them where to go. Absolutely no chance would I be leaving the house to go on a pointless walk today.

Today we were a multi generational household of 12. Only 4 of us chose to go for an afternoon walk. I struggle to understand why someone wouldn’t want to go on a walk after a huge meal, but that’s their prerogative.
He probably just wants some downtime, I had forgotten how full on young DCs are, great fun but exhausting.

"because he doesn't want to"

I wouldn't want to either. I hate it when my relatives make us leave the house with them to go somewhere when visiting them. We are there to see you and sit and play with the kids because you live a distance away, not to walk around where you live!

this Is what I was saying earlier! It’s like one person decides what’s normal and then bullies and pressures everyone else into it and then they all have a ‘naaaace’ Christmas as long as everyone does what they say. Fuck sake just leave him alone! Can people not just opt out of parts of it? or do you want a drill whistle! This is why I can’t stand Christmas, there’s always some twat taking the helm of how it all should be. Just let him do his thing ffs it’s not infant school

He probably just needs a break from peopling. Leave the poor man alone.