Who's had a Christmas Eve cry?

[Dozeyduck]

I just did. Feeling overwhelmed. It's all on me. Presents haven't arrived, so much to do, wrapping, food prep, husband working all over Xmas. I just want to lie on the sofa with a baileys and relax but I can't. Sending hugs to those that need it xx

Couldn’t read and not reply to that. I’m so sorry for your loss. I scan patients that have glioblastoma and it’s always sad to see how it progresses. May there be some comfort in your heart.

Me! I love Christmas and also try and do a LOT to help my parents who have got their plates full with both elderly DGMs, one who had a very sad diagnosis earlier this month.. We all adore them but it is a lot of work for my DPs. Usually me and DH cook the Xmas dinner and transport it to DPs as the most suitable house for hosting the oldies. I’m chief present organiser and wrapper (somehow end up helping other people organise their gifts for each other too!).

I went down with flu on Sunday and have barely been able to get out of bed! DH has been running round like a blue arsed fly to sort the remaining shopping for MY family, wfh yesterday because I needed looking after, done 90% of the food prep, including cooking some traditional family dishes that are usually well out of his comfort zone (he’s a very capable cook but likes familiarity) and making extras of things that we’d already prepped and frozen last weekend because DB and GF announcer they’d stay for lunch with us last minute. Phoned my Dad to ask him to take DGMs to church tonight, which I was meant to do. He then drove all the Xmas dinner up the road to my DPs because he wanted me to rest and be well for tomorrow and the poor soul got a puncture on the way home! Luckily I was well enough to sit and wrap today but that’s been about it!

He popped out to get us a takeaway pizza “so no one has to do anymore cooking” and let me watch Taylor Swift as our Christmas Eve TV and even cried at the end with me.

So my Christmas cry is about how bloody lucky I am to have DH and how he’s basically just made Christmas for my entire family, which is likely to be our last one all together. Very very grateful to be married to such a wonderful man.

What an incredible thread. I'm so moved by all the clicks of support that we've shared tonight. Sending love to all those who are struggling with loss and pain.

I haven’t but my mum did. My dad died three months ago and she’s really feeling it today.

Almost me. I lost a dear friend to a heart attack in the summer. I'm starting to realise that Christmas can be a very cruel reminder of who we've lost, and can be just as sad as it can be happy.

Christmas is a funny time for heightened emotions. I cried today in the most ridiculous manner. We are away on holiday, this morning I went swimming and this afternoon we went for a long walk. When we got back my poor hips were in agony (I'm in my 60s). I lay on the bed and my wonderful DH brought me a cup of tea. I burst into tears because I really wanted tea but couldn't find the strength in my poor old legs to make it. He is the most wonderful husband and I feel so lucky and undeserving of him.

Love to all of you that are suffering. I hope you are able to find some peace.

Me, one DC turned up about 9pm, having driven over after a long shift at work. Changed and made a sandwich and went out to the pub to meet old friends. Probably spent no more than 15 minutes here. I spent the evening wrapping presents, wishing it was all over already. Other DC at inlaws.

I'm also feeling quite sad that our one and only 6 year old is finding it all so exciting and magical, but it's not going to last for many more years. It's making me regret my decision a little to only have one child, being brutally honest, even though mentally and physically I feel like that ship has sailed.

Me! My Mum has been dead since 2019 but I still find Christmas and the turn of the year incredibly sad and hard. We still have our Dad but he’s found a new partner and has more or less moved on from us and his grandchildren - something I never imagined would happen. I’m realising just how much we were shielded from his disinterest by my precious, loving Mum. It hurts!

My husband also leaves the whole Christmas shebang to me, which I wouldn’t mind if he could muster a bit of Christmas spirit, but he’s invariably miserable and bitter about the money being spent and effort being put in as though it’s a whole waste of time - it’s so weird and leads to tension between us every single year as I get overwhelmed and stressed trying to pull it off when I’m feeling so sad inside on a core level.

Sending hugs to everyone on this thread ♥️

Me too! So sorry for all of you who have lost a loved one, coping with illness and those that are lonely. Sending you all love and hugs.

I also lost my mum this year. She was a real character and Christmas will not be the same without her.

Me- struggling with psych stuff and was yelled at for most of the day!

Me too. I miss her so.

Sorry for everyone’s losses sounds very hard. And thinking of everyone experiencing hard times.

Jeez.... so many of you struggling in your own ways....I was feeling sorry for myself mainly about being alone tonight cos kids grown up and doing their own thing, which is really good.
So I'll stop overthinking it now and be grateful for Xmas's past.

And i hope those of you struggling with Xmas in any way find some iota of joy somewhere.

💝💝💝

Me, just now. Silly thing really but DH was making comments about why they (DC) need a stocking as they don't believe in Santa and just being a grumpy git about it.
DD's been at work all day, knackered, admitted she wasn't feeling overly festive when she got home. I've taken her stocking in to her room and she was feeling bit happier. Even asked me to tuck her in and said thank you, love you Mum. When I came out he was still chuntering on about the DC believing....It's a bit of fun for fuck's sake!
He's gone to sleep. I'm wide awake next to him. Like I say it's silly really but sometimes it feels quite lonely just wanting to do something fun and festive for the DC as they get older. He just doesn't get it (or contributes). I'm putting it down to him needing a good night's sleep before his family arrive tomorrow!
Anyway, merry Christmas to you all!

Me. 3 rounds of IVF this year, two miscarriages and a failure. First miscarriage was due to be a Christmas arrival. Just broken and would rather sleep through the entire thing, but making effort for DH and DSD.

That's so tough @adviceneeded1990. Hope there's some moments of gentle comfort over the next few days for you. x

Me, with my dad. Second one without my mum.

Totally get you. My h is a grumpy old fart too, ffs

Don’t give DD everything you have for her. Not because she upset someone, for your son’s sake. But maybe you having more stuff for her and less for your son could be an indication that spoilt and it’s why she’s able to upset another child at a gathering.

I was going to just post something so damn trivial and now I can’t. I am so very sorry for your loss xx

Me. I’m still wrapping. So tired of everything being my responsibility (single mum) also this year my youngest knows so it doesn’t even feel as magical. My first year in 31 years where nobody in my family believes. But I still want to make it magical for them when they wake up.
The thread about raising a glass to lost one’s opened the floodgates for me. Now I need to finish the wrapping and get to bed!

Mourning a loved one even years after we’ve lost them is very painful but to all of those who are broken hearted with pain after losing a child, you are in my thoughts.

Yes.

Hugs to those experiencing loss of loved ones -I lost my mum this year and I'm just having a quiet candle lit pretend chat with her now before bed, missing her so much.

I'm ill. DP is being a shit and complaining about everything despite knowing I'm finding this Christmas hard as it's the first one without my mum. He finds Christmas tricky, so every year I say "Let's just have a relaxed, low key Christmas, no great shakes, let's break with tradition, DC and I will make it happen," but then he kind of decides that he'd quite enjoy x, y or z 'trad Christmas' fixtures and sets himself up for a stressful time trying to achieve things he will admit to not really caring for anyway. This leads to an awful atmosphere, passive aggression, complete loss of filters and performative stress. It's exhausting. I dread waking up tomorrow.

@LoisGriffinskitchen we also had our 12 year old cat pts on the 22nd. Our hearts are broken also, and our three children are in their twenties. Ds2, who’s 22 is the most heartbroken of us all I think. Hugs to you x