Am I being stingy with kids presents?

[MunsterMumm]

Got three DC - DS6, DD4 and DD who is 2 months old.

We have bought DS a toy he really wanted and books and DD a bike. These are the "Santa" presents. And from us a board game each. In stockings they'll get a bath bomb and chocolate coins. Baby is getting some socks just to have something under the tree.

They will get presents from both grandparents after Christmas, and grandparents usually shower them with gifts so I didn't want to get them too much because the get overwhelmed and I cannot cope with too much stuff. DS is also a bit more difficult to buy for as he has things like a bike already a wants a tablet which we have already said no to. They have thibgs like magnetic tiles and Lego so I'm at a loss as to what else to get. Grandparents are getting Lego, remote control car and toys etc

I've just seen on a different thread someone worried that three presents each for the kids won't be enough and now I'm worried we've not got them enough! I don't want to buy little cheap bits like slime, small toys etc because they'll get opened and tossed to one side after 5 mins never to be played with again. I also really want the kids to learn early on it's not about quantity. But I also want them to be happy at Christmas.

Is what we have enough or should I get some more? If so, any suggestions on meaningful presents for a 6 and 4 year old that aren't clothes?

thank you

Christmas, IMO, is supposed to be chaos with small children.

Wrapping paper all over the floor, chocolate for breakfast, playing outside on your new bike in your pjs, toys that you wouldn’t get the rest of the year. Being told yes to things that are no year round. Freedom.

I couldn’t face giving mainly functional presents, or doing 2/3 and then moving onto croissants. It would be too… muted, for me.

With littlies it’s often about the wonder of seeing the presents. You can make it extra special by adding battery powered fairy lights over the gifts or filling the room with Christmas themed balloons. My mother always used to find Santa or snowmen shaped balloons and as kids we found those absolutely magical. Fake snow also went down a treat.

Same! And only relatively little things in stockings.

From us, shock horror! - there would be just one big present, no ‘pile’! - but they did have presents from aunts/uncles and GPs, too.

That’s because he was four. A four year old isn’t going to remember details of a day in a year’s time.

i totally understand not wanting to go overboard when you don’t have space to store things afterwards. Not to mention the environmental cost.

I overthink this every year for similar reasons! The last couple of years I feel like I have hit on about the right amount for our family, given that my DC get another 3-6 gifts each from extended family.

We do a Santa sack with about 8-10 things consisting of:

• one big toy (the thing they really want)
• a board game or puzzle
• a book
• a silly Knick-knack
• a small outdoor toy
• chocolate coins
• a new character/novelty item of clothing or PJs
• a box of sugary cereal not allowed the rest of the year for Xmas day brekkie
• a small craft item

Then one gift from us under the tree, which is meaningful rather than necessarily expensive.

i find this hits the right of amount of magical chaos, without me losing the will to live on the day or afterwards!

I would bulk out the babies stuff because the older ones will notice. Great thing about little babies is they can be SUPER cheap to buy for though.

A teether (useful not long down the line) and a soft toy or little pram toy bulk them out easy for little ones and can cost as low as £1 from places like Poundland.

It’s absolutely fine. When my kids were young I used to feel so miserable after Christmas at the amount of crap I had to find homes for, when presents from grandparents and wider family were put into the mix. When my youngest was a baby he was only 6 weeks old at Christmas and I just recycled some of his big brother’s toys he’d grown out of.

I think that’s plenty. If you wanted to get them something they will use, I got my 4 yo a school bag with his favourite character on it to get him excited about starting school in September. Key rings are a good one too for attaching to the school bag. You could add a board game for the 4 and 6 yo to play together if you wanted but it sounds like they will have plenty

assuming you were trying to respond to me, and unless you've got lost and think you're posting on icelandic mumsnet, the sun does rise during winter, you know, and you are allowed to leave your house to exercise.

It's been dry, mild and sunny the last few days with me, I've been out, the kids have been out on their bikes every day since breaking up on thursday. We're doing a sea swim on Christmas day and will walk/bike down to that. It's not "freezing" everywhere, and even if it was cold that doesn't mean you can't go out on a bike for half an hour! Dial down the over-exaggeration, nobody mentioned "spending the day" doing anything - OP's child is 6, it's not like they'd be out doing the tour de france even if it was summer.

If you're one of the families who don't move from the tv all christmas day, that's fine, you do you, but we aren't all like that.

I grew up in a house where there was always a huge stack of presents under the tree. I do the same for my son. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t imagine waking up and there only being three presents to open.

Okay, ten minutes, half an hour. Either way, it’s not a long to be using a new present on Christmas Day, is it?

And from your Icelandic comment I assume you live in the south of the country. The sun set in Reykjavik at 3:30pm today. It set here in northern England at 3:41pm.

I think this is it for me too. I don’t get my children piles of presents -they usually have a main present, another present and some books from us- but just two things in the stocking seems really flat and lacking in magic.

Growing up, the stocking was always the most exciting part, waking up and feeling the weight of it on the end of the bed, trying to resist opening it and then it being full of little surprises. My children agree and even the adults still have a stocking.

The sort of thing I’d put in for younger children
A tube of sweets -I never buy them sweets
Mr matey or colour changing bath stuff or foam soap
A keyring based on their current interests
An add on for an existing toy- a bridge for their train track, some happyland or playmobil characters, a small Lego set that goes with one of their other sets, wheels or letters to go with the magnetic tiles, a toy car, wooden food to go with the toy kitchen.
Something creative -colouring, mini notepad, spy pen, one of those pens that does different colours, origami, beads, stamps…
Something I would never buy like a blind bag or slime or a bouncy ball
character pants or socks
playdoh, gem dig set, magic snow, , a kaleidoscope, a shaker, a harmonica …

I know some of that is stuff you’ve said you don’t want to buy but if you did want ideas you may find some there

3:27 here in north-east Scotland! Felt like it never really got light in the first place. We are an active family with bikes etc but it would be miserable on some days here lately for sure.

I see you’ve decided to add a few bits. I try to bulk out kids pile up with a few “essentials” so they have a bit more to unwrap - so I tend to get them these every year:

One or two pairs of pyjamas (when younger, themed to a current interest)
Pack of pants
Pack of socks
Toiletries set (so for younger kids a bath playset, older kids Lynx or similar)
New toothbrush
A hoodie/sweatshirt of something they were/are into
Pack of t-shirts
Slippers when younger

I’d then do a few cheaper things that weren’t needed but appreciated:

Bag of chocolate coins
Couple of selection boxes
Small stocking filler type gift (eg top trumps card game, hot wheels car, etc)
A few books or book box set

So lots of either little/cheap things, or every day essentials that I would have bought them anyway. After that, they would get 3-10 “proper” presents, depending on cost. The older they got, the less presents they got.

Enjoy your day - they will get used to whatever you do, so if you bought 30 presents each this time, next year they’ll wonder what they did wrong to only get 10. So start as you mean to go on!

PS I’d be tempted to get the baby a toy of some sort, even if just a rattle or a teddy bear, so the older kids don’t think Santa forgot their sibling and then make the socks from you!

lots of kids end up with so much stuff, and they can’t play with it all and it ends up in landfill. I always get mine one main present and then a stocking. At that age they liked torches and bouncy balls and little fiddle toys and puzzles, so we’d have a few of those things, some sweets and maybe a book or two.

MN is full of different perspectives and there’s no right way to do Christmas. Your approach seems quite close to the way our family does it.

@Fryth OPs kids are 6 & 4 so chances are they wont remember exactly what they had - kids are just excited that its Christmas. What's your point?

I’d get the baby a toy and small stocking and maybe a few more stocking fillers for the others. But it’s fine. They get stuff from other people. I think kids appreciate fewer gifts, it can be overwhelming. I also grew up poor, had very little at Christmas and still found it magical.

Do you have small children? Half an hour would be good going devoted solely to one present, particularly on christmas day!

Why does it matter where I live - its as irrelevant as where you live - the only vaguely relevant point is that none of us knows where OP lives!

Not that its all all relevant because i still dont understand why the sun setting half an hour later in the south of the UK than the north would make the slightest bit of difference regarding whether people get the chance to go outside in the daytime BEFORE it sets. You do still get daytime in scotland -Inverness isn't exactly svalbard, is it?

Half an hour’s play with one gift is good going, but if that’s the only playable gift they have - what are they doing with the remainder of their half hours?

In OP’s case; once her DD has been on her bike, and played the board game… what then?

I personally don’t want last year’s toys to be the go to on Christmas Day, they’ve had them all year and played with them.

My point is exactly what you’ve said. There’s no point in saying a five year old can’t remember what he got last year so it means there’s not much point buying much this year.

Erm, you were the one who mentioned Iceland…

Sorry, I'm going to be honest and say that's really really stingy. I don't have a lot of money and have gone without to give my kids a nice selection of gifts.

How ridiculous? You saw on another thread something said something and took that as gospel?
Do people not think for themselves anymore? Are you so influenced by what some random Joe said?
you were perfectly fine before that but now want to do something you were not going to do?

My ds birthday was 7 months ago- he is still making his way through his birthday gifts! He still has 4(yes 4!) sets of brilliant Harry Potter Lego among the stuff. We are not doing a ‘pile’ just to make ourselves feel better. We are practical even though we can afford it. Yes children do get overwhelmed and when it’s too much the gift loses value.

Much more sensible and I would definitely reduce the pile of crap but DH is of the ilk it's about going overboard. Every year I feel awful about the pure waste, wrapping plastic crap just to make a pile. I'm with you OP, more isn't better for the sake of it. Xx