Am I being stingy with kids presents?

[MunsterMumm]

Got three DC - DS6, DD4 and DD who is 2 months old.

We have bought DS a toy he really wanted and books and DD a bike. These are the "Santa" presents. And from us a board game each. In stockings they'll get a bath bomb and chocolate coins. Baby is getting some socks just to have something under the tree.

They will get presents from both grandparents after Christmas, and grandparents usually shower them with gifts so I didn't want to get them too much because the get overwhelmed and I cannot cope with too much stuff. DS is also a bit more difficult to buy for as he has things like a bike already a wants a tablet which we have already said no to. They have thibgs like magnetic tiles and Lego so I'm at a loss as to what else to get. Grandparents are getting Lego, remote control car and toys etc

I've just seen on a different thread someone worried that three presents each for the kids won't be enough and now I'm worried we've not got them enough! I don't want to buy little cheap bits like slime, small toys etc because they'll get opened and tossed to one side after 5 mins never to be played with again. I also really want the kids to learn early on it's not about quantity. But I also want them to be happy at Christmas.

Is what we have enough or should I get some more? If so, any suggestions on meaningful presents for a 6 and 4 year old that aren't clothes?

thank you

Not awful. Just not well planned.

Yes this!

I'd probably put a few more bits in the stocking. Maybe stickers/a sticker book, marbles, notebook and pens, a favourite snack they aren't normally allowed, mini craft kit etc. You don't need to include 'tat', whatever that actually is.

I probably would've got a few cheaper things as they're young and easily pleased! Colouring in pens, or a pencil case, wrapped up small cadbury selection packet or some chocolate coins, silly xmas socks, that kind of thing that is cheerful and not very expensive. I think children just love the unwrapping and the excitement of Xmas morning, so just 3 presents each it will be over quite fast. BUT, you get what you can afford, that's the main thing here.

If it works for you that’s great, but do you not enjoy seeing DD opening your presents on Christmas morning? Why only two?

I also think the handwringing over children being spoiled etc is unnecessary. Being spoiled and entitled comes from everyday life, the day to day interactions and experiences. It doesn’t happen in one day a year.

At the risk of being shot by the poem posse, ours have probably got about 25-30 gifts to open plus stockings, but a fair few of them are things that we would otherwise buy through the year when we needed (Lego sets, painting kits, air clay sets, play dough, and then stuff like board games, some character socks and pants that will get worn all year, obligatory new pyjamas, some edible stuff, etc).

They do get replaced when needed but Christmas is a great opportunity to stock up on stuff for the months ahead. My two are craft mad so a painting set or new air clay sets is genuinely very exciting to open at Christmas, so it makes sense to stock up on this stuff now and wrap it up for them. We actually just did the last of last year’s Christmas craft kits a couple of weeks ago!

I think it depends on your finances.

Personally, I like to buy my kids loads (some tat included, but also craft type things that keep them busy). I think that’s probably because that’s how my Christmases were. My kids would be really disappointed with 3 presents, but that’s because I’ve brought them up with a silly amount of presents that they definitely don’t need.

If that’s what they are used to, then it definitely won’t be a problem.

I have friends who spend £60 for Xmas and some who spend way more.

Do what is right for your family. They will probably
appreciate the few good presents more than my kids will appreciate theirs.

I would buy the tablet for your six year old, if you think this is something he'd really like. You can get the Amazon ones for a good price. If his sister is having a bike I'd definitely get him something as amazing.

It blows my mind that a parent can realise their young child will have no toy to play with on Christmas Day and shrug it off as just something they haven’t planned well.

I think what you have for them sounds lovely.

Mine has just one present under the tree, he's 5. It's something I think he's going to love and that will give him years of joy, it has been chosen with thought and love. He has a few sensory bits in a stocking but no sweets or chocolate because he is nil by mouth. This is the first time I have been able to buy him a toy that I think he'll love as his disability means he hasn't yet figured out how to use his hands to hold things so doesn't ever play with anything.

This is similar to when I was a kid. Mum didn't buy anything other than b'day or Xmas, but stock up with needed things. Even knickers and socks were wrapped up, cute flannels, pens, stuff for school, all things needed. All wrapped and opened with much excitement from us kids!

Careful though that if the toy you have bought your son is very cheap and he sees that his sister has a bike it might make him upset.

It does sound light to me. As others have said, is the stocking really just 2 things as that doesn’t sound very exciting at all for 4 and 6 year olds. There are loads of “non tat” things you can buy that age
Each to their own but you have asked!

I really would recommend having only smaller stocking things from Santa, you should be appreciated for bigger things not some magical entity!

Every child is different, it’s not the amounts that matter it’s whether you think your child will be happy - mine adore slime so it wouldn’t be tossed away in 5 minutes, but our weather is atrocious till April so a bicycle would get them frustrated as it couldn’t be used immediately. Everyone is different and that’s okay.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Ah it’s the belief that Santa brings the presents that makes it magic.

it sounds fine to me. Better than a massive pile of plastic tat that will get tossed aside and not played with.

Each family is different. Personally I think a bit light but that’s just because here each child has about 35 presents to open. But as PP has stated this also includes practical things they need for the next few months/year like underwear, new duvet, new towel, drinks bottle for sports, socks, deodorant sets, skin care (the normal kind made by ‘simple’ not any fancy stuff). And to make it clear mine get nothing else throughout the year only on their birthday. Obviously deodorant and skin stuff etc are replaced when they need it. But toys are strictly for birthday and Xmas.

I know some people who go by the rule of 7… something they need, want, read, wear, share, eat and to do. This sounds like a lovely amount

I would never call anyone stingy for how they do Christmas as different households do different things. Some people prefer low key and if that’s your preference then don’t worry about what others think or do. As you’ve asked on here it seems you’re having doubts so I’m going to say I don’t think your dc are in danger of being spoilt or overwhelmed.

At 6 and 4 my dc would have had probably 8 - 10 gifts from Santa but not all toys. As well as books we’d give art supplies, craft kits, maybe character pjs/slippers/dressing gown, jigsaw puzzles, something for their room like a cute rug or cushion, Lego storage boxes, night light. One year they were both very pleased with pop up laundry hampers that looked like a bee and a ladybird!

None of it was the “tat” MNers bang on about, everything was appreciated and looked after and my dc are now two pretty decent teens who are not spoilt or demanding. Oh and my house isn’t overflowing with stuff because we passed on toys, games etc to younger cousins or charity shops when my dc had outgrown them.

We've always been a family that have done loads of presents at Christmas, chairs and sofa full with sacks and stockings. My ds are now 20 and 25 and have about 20/25 presents to open each. Dp has 4 presents. Plus they all have stockings.

Bit that's our family and our tradition.

if 3 presents work for you, than that is fine. I would pad it out with some colouring books, pens etc and buy the baby some bits to wrap up.

I do enjoy that, she also has 4 other presents from relatives.

She has loads of stuff to be honest, she doesn't need more! Same with the baby.

These are peak magic years for your oldest two, in my opinion its the perfect oppurtunity to go a bit OTT. However, everyone has different budgets to be considered and we don't want to buy presents just for the sake of it. If you can afford to add some more then I would unless you genuinely cannot think of a single thing they would like/play with.

And though I’m in my fifties I also remember the sheer amazement that Father Christmas had come. There would probably have been 15 presents in the sack and that was in the 70s when things were more expensive.

To be honest I think that sounds utterly miserable and stingey.

budget constraints fair enough, but a little can go along way making magic. crafts, small toys, bath toys, dress up, family board games.

I couldn’t imagine doing this for my kids at Christmas.

It's fine if you think they are presents they will value. If you can afford it and want to get more sure but don't feel any pressure to.

There's a thread recently where someone got her child 30 presents which I think is unnecessary and just excessive, and another who spent all her money on "lots" if gifts that she doesn't even have £20 to buy her presents anything.

I think fewer and more meaningful gifts are the way to go and it teaches them to be appreciative and less consumer driven, and also avoids the pressure to spend more than you can afford just to keep up.

For example a bike is a lovely main present and you already have some smaller presents as well, your child will probably focus more on the bike with excitement. To me a child having to open 30 gifts is just for the parent who I assume dogs there trying to video their reaction all the way, and the bulk of those presents will be used a few times and then take space in the house wasted.

It’s your decision of course, but doesn’t sound very fun. I grew up with a lovely pile of presents and loved it, now I love doing it for my children. It just brings a lot of joy to me and them! Suppose it depends on how you enjoy Christmas.