Am I being stingy with kids presents?

[MunsterMumm]

Got three DC - DS6, DD4 and DD who is 2 months old.

We have bought DS a toy he really wanted and books and DD a bike. These are the "Santa" presents. And from us a board game each. In stockings they'll get a bath bomb and chocolate coins. Baby is getting some socks just to have something under the tree.

They will get presents from both grandparents after Christmas, and grandparents usually shower them with gifts so I didn't want to get them too much because the get overwhelmed and I cannot cope with too much stuff. DS is also a bit more difficult to buy for as he has things like a bike already a wants a tablet which we have already said no to. They have thibgs like magnetic tiles and Lego so I'm at a loss as to what else to get. Grandparents are getting Lego, remote control car and toys etc

I've just seen on a different thread someone worried that three presents each for the kids won't be enough and now I'm worried we've not got them enough! I don't want to buy little cheap bits like slime, small toys etc because they'll get opened and tossed to one side after 5 mins never to be played with again. I also really want the kids to learn early on it's not about quantity. But I also want them to be happy at Christmas.

Is what we have enough or should I get some more? If so, any suggestions on meaningful presents for a 6 and 4 year old that aren't clothes?

thank you

We use the much-hated poem so DC get 4 gifts plus a gift and stocking from Father Christmas. It’s plenty. They also get gifts from grandparents and godparents.

Its a british thing having many presents. Other countries- its one main one, and thats it.

I would probably have gotten a few more presents to be honest, but only a few things. At that age there was lots mine loved, especially kinetic sand, duplo, lego, maybe a stem type toy. As others have said I would add in some nice pyjamas, or a dressing gown. I do get you don't want to go mad, plus storing things can be hard. Dc1 1st Christmas was ridiculous, I had gone mad buying stuff, then he had another bag full from my mum, then from my sister, plus presents from another 10 plus people. Two days later it was his 1st birthday. I remember my mum saying hes had more these last few days than some have in a lifetime. After that I cut right back. It was silly. I think we all got carried away and excited to have a child in the family again. Other than one when year when I had my second dc I have been careful. That year I bought too many stocking fillers, they endd up having two stockings each 🙄.

This is awful.

Why? It’s exactly what my kids need.

Oldest is autistic and youngest is probably too. 4 or 5 well chosen present plus gifts from family they will see over the week is perfect. Actually some times PIL get too much as it’s overwhelming for them.

When did it become about presents

Indeed it is. I can’t imagine cheating myself of the pleasure of seeing them unwrapping their presents at that age. They don’t believe in the magic for long, let them have a bit of slime and the joy of seeing that Santa’s left a pile of presents.

This is complete rubbish.

"Something they want, Something they need, Something to wear and Something to read" it sounds like you have gorlt it spot on.

It’s not, and trying to justify your overconsumption is okay, but just admit what it is.

Exactly this!

My DH's family gave each other one gift each. So he'd get a gift from his parents, one from santa, maybe one from his brother in later years. They didn't do stockings (not from the UK). In comparison my family we'd have PILES under the tree. Every year I try and be a little more DH as tbh I remember Christmas feeling overwhelming, but it's personal preference.

This year I've gone overboard again despite my best intentions, esp as we're with his family this year. Each kid has 4 or 5 gifts from us, a gift from their siblings, plus a father Christmas gift and stockings. I pick things up throughout the year/when I see them on vinted etc so it adds up. Then there's wider family to come. It's a lot.

Maybe next year I'll do better 😅 it's a hard habit to break!

For kids? Always.

Why is it awful for a child to have nothing new to play with on Christmas Day?

It always has been in your lifetime.

I'd always give the bike, much wanted game and bigger gift from you and DH. Smaller gifts from Santa. I'd possibly get some bubble bath, colouring in book and pencils and a chocolate Santa for stockings. I'd give baby something else even if a box of nappies and toiletries you'd have to get anyway because DC will think baby is on naughty list. They talk about stuff like this in reception.

It is. The USA, Canada, Australia, France, Germany, Scandinavia, the Netherlands and many more have plenty of people who give many presents. It is complete fiction to try and claim it is British 🙄.

We get ours a lot but it’s not about it being played with on Christmas Day, it’s for the whole year to come! I get stuff with the expectation it will be used in the weeks and months ahead, which it is. So when they want to do a craft in February, we can get out one of the kits they got for Christmas, or DD1 is bored in March and there’s a Lego kit she got for Christmas she can do, etc. I find that some people seem to think that anything more than they can physically play with on Christmas Day is a waste, but I want stuff to keep them entertained for the whole holidays and that can be used and enjoyed for a good few months after too.

I also really enjoy the present opening, I love giving presents and it would feel a bit of a damp squib (for me!) if they only had 3 presents and were done. It’s just the four of us for Christmas and the present portion is a big part of the day and that’s how we like it.

It is really a personal decision though, as long as you are happy with what you do it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. Three gifts under the tree wouldn’t be my idea of Christmas but it’s not my Christmas.

Are the stockings really just a bath bomb and some chocolate coins? I must admit that sounds a bit sad to me. Stockings should be filled with lovely things (it doesn’t have to be the ubiquitous MN “tat”).

It does seem a bit stingy to me tbf . It's the one time of year where they get toys (ours anyway) The excitement and joy it brings is immense. You could throw in a few more bits to make it even more special.

I would be concrrned if l was you that it might pour rain for days and poor dd would only have the bike and no where to go. So l get a jigsaw some Polly pocket etc..if that is still a thing so she has things to play with on the day. Before Christmas l would do a good clear out or up to the attic for the little one. I always tried to think..what are they actually going to do when the excitement is over so plan accordingly.

How come no to the tablet? Due to the screen time or the lack of costs? If DD is getting a bike it matches to the cost of the bike and makes it equal.

I also think it sounds like you depend on the grandparents to buy loads so you don't really have to. I think it should be the other way round as they are your children.

I don't get the correlation on here between "lots of presents = load of tat"
surely there's lots of "stuff" you can buy that isn't "tossed aside after 5 minutes" but comes in useful throughout the year. As pp said, stuff that isn't incredibly exciting on its own but adds to the excitement of a pile/sack full of presents, particularly when they're younger.

e.g. crafting stuff, a puzzle, books, magazine, keyring, toiletries, earrings, new school bag/pencil case/clothes, pyjamas/slippers, underwear and socks, treat foods and snacks, accessories for a "big" present (e.g. if big present is a bike wrap up helmet, light, bell, basket, etc separately), stuff for their bedroom (new lamp, poster, bedding/throw, candles/nice diffuser for older DC).

I agree.

I have 2 presents for DD8 and 4 presents for baby DD (3 of those were from a secondhand toy bundle). Grandparents and Aunt are also giving plenty so mine are not missing out. It's fine.

I have found that less is more with my eldest.