Am I being stingy with kids presents?

[MunsterMumm]

Got three DC - DS6, DD4 and DD who is 2 months old.

We have bought DS a toy he really wanted and books and DD a bike. These are the "Santa" presents. And from us a board game each. In stockings they'll get a bath bomb and chocolate coins. Baby is getting some socks just to have something under the tree.

They will get presents from both grandparents after Christmas, and grandparents usually shower them with gifts so I didn't want to get them too much because the get overwhelmed and I cannot cope with too much stuff. DS is also a bit more difficult to buy for as he has things like a bike already a wants a tablet which we have already said no to. They have thibgs like magnetic tiles and Lego so I'm at a loss as to what else to get. Grandparents are getting Lego, remote control car and toys etc

I've just seen on a different thread someone worried that three presents each for the kids won't be enough and now I'm worried we've not got them enough! I don't want to buy little cheap bits like slime, small toys etc because they'll get opened and tossed to one side after 5 mins never to be played with again. I also really want the kids to learn early on it's not about quantity. But I also want them to be happy at Christmas.

Is what we have enough or should I get some more? If so, any suggestions on meaningful presents for a 6 and 4 year old that aren't clothes?

thank you

I always pad presents out with things like new drinks bottles, colouring/craft bits, pyjamas, slippers, dressing gowns, new pants and socks, an outfit for Christmas Day, toiletries and things that will be used - I’m 100% with you with junk stuff like slime etc…… it’s a waste but I do think kids enjoy having bits to open.

I disagree, it can be fun if you make it fun, you don't need a ton of presents to make it fun. This is the type of pressure that makes people spend more than they can afford. I've seen a few threads already on mumsnet this year, one can't even afford anything for her parents because she ended up buying so many things for her daughter and they are mostly stuff that will end up not being used.

She has bought one of her kids a bike which is a lovely main present and some other smaller presents and that is absolutely fine. Claiming you can only have fun on Christmas day if you have a ton of presents is absolutely rubbish.

Just my opinion, I think a pile of presents is fun. No pressure here, we can afford it and as I say I enjoy doing it. Of course if we couldn’t, we’d find the fun in other ways.

This. With a bike and then a board game, she'll have nothing to play with on Christmas Day?

Is there nothing she's interested in? Does she like role play, dressing up, cars, crafts, animals, dolls?

If you want to see it from not just a 'materialistic' POV, don't forget that toys are very good for their development!

If you can afford it, it's not a bad thing to get children toys on Christmas Day...

I do too @Rainydayinlondon and I’m late 40s . I think when you’ve experienced that and have those memories you want to do the same for your own dc. Christmas was the highlight of the year for us growing up!

No, you don't need a "pile" (which is subjective anyway), but a bike, board game, bath bomb and chocolate are all quite practical presents for a four year old... Adding a couple of things that can be played with would make it a bit more rounded.

Do parents not buy books anymore? We'd always get a comic annual as well as something like an Enid Blyton book in our Xmas stash, yes, I am a child of the 70's.. Mum encouraged reading, no matter what it is, hence the comics :-)

We'd get bubble bath, flannel, shaped or fruit smelling soap, knickers/socks, other items of clothes such as a jumper that were outgrown or lost over the year, lol. Pens, scented erasers, colouring in book, things for school once school age, all things like that, they were useful and not just plastic tat as everyone keeps saying. I didn't really do dolls or teddies, but remember brothers having maccano. Everything was enjoyed and used. As we got older, we were allowed a budget so we'd go for something bigger, a pair of roller boots etc rather than lots of things.
The excitement though when we woke up to lots of things wrapped up on Xmas morning. It was almost like the thing inside wasn't as important all the time, it was unwrapping what Santa bought us that was the best bit.

Hand on heart, I don't think kids would be particularly overwhelmed by a pile of prezzies, not once old enough to understand, vast majority be very excited.

There are SO many things you can buy a 4yo & 6yo that are good for their development. Role play, dress up, orchard games etc. it doesn’t have to be “tat” or nothing. A Barbie and a horse? Some wind up cars to race? Christmas is about kids having presents to open, I think you’re doing them a disservice by objecting on some moral grounds.

Mine have always had 1 present & stocking from “Santa”. And then 10-15 gifts from us which would include books, toys, clothes and things relating to their interests at the time. They change so much so quickly, it’s important to support their interests as they develop as individuals . We’ve moved from toy kitchen to paw patrol garage to switch games to 3D printer to this years raspberry pi in the blink of an eye (that’s how it feels anyway!)

It's the OP whose DD will have nothing to play with on the day, not @Itsjusttoomuchtoday

When I read some of these posts it seems that Christmas has become all about the amount of stuff. Why measure your amount by someone else's yardstick?
Don't go buying more just to make yourself feel better. Your little ones won't know or care. They will be excited by their presents no matter what. I remember the joy of getting chocolate coins in my stocking. The Santa presents came a poor second! Enjoy your day , plenty of smiles hugs and laughter will be remembered long after the pressies have gone. Happy Christmas xx

I think I’d reverse it and have Santa bring the smaller things and you bring the bigger gifts but appreciate there might be a family tradition here.

I personally always like a thing to do on the day so even now with older kids I get a Lego set or craft kit or something like that and we all spend sometime doing those things after opening the gifts. Colouring books? Something like a build your own bird house etc? Science kit and do some experiments?

Agree. My daughter had a big stocking and she’s loved going through it slowly throughout the day.

No tat in there - chocolate, Jellycat marshmallows, hair clips, pens, hair brush, bath bomb, kids jewellery, Yoto card.

stockings are not just for tat.

that would be low amount of presents for my house and just about everyone I know. If budget allows. I’d add stocking presents plus a few more - squishmallow, books, Lego set etc.

Everyone buys differently for their kids, so I wouldn’t worry about it if this is how they know the Christmases to be.

What I’d worry about is if you’ve gone from buying a bunch of gifts in previous years to just 3 this year. They may wonder why.

We have fairly big Christmases in my house, but I tend to bulk it out with things they need such as clothes, shoes, bath bits ect.

You should do what you want but personally I think the oldest at least might be disappointed as they’re bound to have been chatting at school about Christmas and most people (in reality not MN) get much more in at least their stocking.

Mine prob get about 15 little wrapped presents in theirs - choc coins, hot choc bomb, shower gel. bath bomb, hair bits, pants, little tube jigsaw, tiny fake Lego, stickers etc, crafty bits etc - you can make one up cheaply in supermarket stocking section / the range / flying tiger and they get so much excitement and joy from it.

I would probably buy a few more gifts to open, they don’t need to be expensive things.
I always think what they might want/need during the year, art and craft supplies, playdough, kenetic sand and maybe PJ’s. My kids always like getting one of those cup cake/cookie making boxes from the supermarket (a good activity for a rainy day). We always did stockings which would contain a pot of playdough, a tooth brush and flavoured tooth paste, chocolate coins and a tube of smarties….and a few other random things.

When I was a child we got one big present from Father Christmas and then a few smaller gifts that were usually pj’s, slippers, colouring pens/books and a selection box. All other gifts were from family. I was slightly jealous of my cousin who got a stocking with really cool little things in.

Some wooden role play toys or a dress up outfit for the 4 year old. Definitely a nice book or two you can read at bedtime to her. You can often find lots of classic kids books in near perfect condition at the charity shop. Same with kids jigsaws. Some cute hair clips in school colours. (I’m suggesting things more on the practical side as you sound quite practical from your op) Sticker dolly dress up book goes down well, is good for parental interaction and lasts over several days. One nice TY cuddly toy. (Another thing I often find in good condition in charity and just stick through the washing machine) Or the wipe clean books for practicing dexterity and writing skills. In won’t make any suggestions for your son as I only have a 4y DD so have no clue, sorry.

You set a budget and use it to buy what they would like. One present or 5 makes no difference provided you make the day special by giving them the attention and love I am sure you do. Ask most kids what they got the previous year or 2 years ago and they won't remember. My kids are grown up now and what they remember and talk about is family games and traditions, and fun moments with their cousins and grandparents. Please don't try and compare or fret that they need a mountain of new 'stuff'. They don't. I'm sure you'll have great Christmas if you just do what suits your family.

Get your kids what they like and you can afford. My kids are adults now and never had piles of presents but absolutely loved and looked forward to Christmas every year.
Think of the planet too- all great ppl saying bulk out the babies presents but shit like that costs the earth, literally. I also can’t believe people who buy a load of crap that goes straight in the bin because their child is overjoyed by a big Santa sack or whatever. Shocking.
Some of these posts are hilarious too tbf- crazy they people are handwringing about a kid getting some lovely gifts and ‘having nothing to play with’
like someone said PJs and slippers they need anyway are great as presents
What you’ve bought sounds great

Sounds fine to me, op. Amazed at people telling you to bulk it out with a load of old tut. Wasteful and pointless.

Which poster advised her to “bulk it out with a load of old tut (sic)”? I seem to have missed it.

Is there not an ocean of possibilities between a load of old tat (which no one has suggested) and two gifts for a four a six year old on Christmas morning.

Many oceans of possibilities.

We’ve got our son some standard flashy, noisy (annoying) stuff, and also an assortment of developmental toys - phonics games, alphabet/number games, some physical play stuff.

It doesn’t have to be tat, loads of ours is “learning through play” stuff, plus some noisy toys I’ll want to throw out the window by January.

I don't have time to list them all but just on page 1-

"I’d definitely add a bit more to the baby’s things, even if you wrap up the older kid’s old stuff."

"The joy and value from the sack had already been had with the size of it, and the opening of the presents. It didn’t matter if any present was tossed aside after opening, the joy had been had."

"I’ve always been anti-tat, but things were always padded out with consumables"

and so on.

No need to put "(sic)" after "tut" by the way- www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/tut

I think it sounds lovely and absolutely enough. My only thought would be to maybe get DD a toy she could play with alongside DS straight away as although a bike is brilliant you might not be able to immediately go outside with her!

A bike is a great gift but the issue with it is that it’s not necessarily an immediate gift: it most likely can’t be played with right away and in winter it’s not likely to be used that much due to the weather. It’s one of those things that will get a lot of use in time, but on Christmas Day once the excitement of opening it is over, there’s not much they can do with it.

We’ve done bikes/scooters for Christmas before but I kind of think of them as one of those things you buy at some point regardless. If the time right to buy one happens to be near Christmas then we take the opportunity to add it to the gift pile, but I would buy other presents like any other year for the above reasons.